Raphael lead the way into the blessedly empty kitchen. He did not know why he did not want an audience... likely because he wanted to talk with a friend, someone he trusted and valued their opinion. He did feel why he needed to put weight onto Fade's shoulders... or why he trusted she would not mind if he did. He walked over to the fridge and pulled the door open. "Want anything? I'm still handy in a kitchen... this metal they glued to my skeleton hasn't hindered that."

He drew a breath and looked over at her, then buried his face in the fridge again. "Thinkin' about leaving here Jenny." There, was out in the open. He kept his face hidden by the fridge door as he said it though. "Dunno... hasn't felt the same here for..." he did not know how long it had not felt right for him. He gave a mental shrug, and then realized why he trusted these things to Fade. She was likely to convince him to stay, or at least that is what his subconscious was telling him. He had felt genuinely glad when he had walked into the front hall and found her there, though parts of him still felt that this was not the place for him, though he had not the slightest clue as to where would be the 'right' place.

After a moment of silence he spoke again. "What would you like to eat?"

Once she had reached the kitchen, she pulled up a tall chair from the counter and sat down on it, grinning at Raph's comment on his handiness in the kitchen. "I'm good with a sprite or something." She shrugged as she leaned back on the countertop, allowing her elbows to keep her steady, but when she heard that he was thinking about leaving, she shot right back up.

"You can't possibly be really thinking about leaving? What doesn't feel the same? I mean, there's been loads of changes going on her, more for the physical means, but not so much the friendliness and we're definately getting closer." By we, Fade didn't know if she was meaning those that attended the school or her and Raph. Which was probably why she left it so broad and open for interpretation. Truth be told, she meant both, but she felt that she and Raph had gotten alot closer than she would have thought. Memories flooded her mind, whispering to her how upset they both were the first day they met and just how, based off of those emotions, they built a strong relationship and she felt as though she could trust him with anything. However, if he were to leave, what would happen? She would miss a close and dear friend and she wouldn't know where to go after that, so Fade decided she wouldn't go to that stage and make him stay, or at least try as hard as she could to get him to stay. After Raph asked the second question regarding food, she ignored it, not wishing to change the subject. Who could think about food when faced with this situation? Not Fade, that's for sure.

Raphael dug a sprite out of the fridge and slid it across the counter to her before answering. “I am… Dunno what doesn’t feel the same here… I mean, I’m not the same… I get the feeling like I’m too violent for here.”

He shrugged and leaned against the counter. “You heard of the others though? The ones that went missing during Whitmore’s attack… was only a couple of ‘em… Axel and Jaguar, but…” He shrugged some. “Guess I’m over looking the more recent things… like this whole research facility fiasco… Everyone certainly jumped when that occurred…” His own thought processes felt that was likely because several of the higher ranking mutants of the mansion were taken… not to mention the sheer volume of mutants kidnapped.

“I just wonder… if this is the place for me. I mean, the permanent place for me to stay… I’d of course come back to visit if I did choose to leave…” He watched her, she had mentioned becoming closer, and he did feel closer to her, or else he would not be having this conversation with her. He fell silent, watching her, wondering what was going on behind her ever changing color eyes.

"Well, of course we'll all leave one day, when we're ready, but the question is are you really ready to leave?" Really the question Fade wanted to ask, was if she was ready for him to leave. The obvious answer for her was no. She had already lost Jaguar and he was a dear friend and she wasn't willing to give up another so that the world could continue attacking mutants inside and outside of the school. "We took those disappearances in different ways, of course, you knew how good of friends Jaguar and I were, so is it that you're fearing that you would disappear like the other two? Because I don't know about you, but the way I see it, the world outside of the walls isn't much nicer than that of indoors. You'll face difficulties anywhere you go." She sighed as she popped the tab, watching her claws as they phased through the can and back out as she did not hold them in place.

"And as for your violence, I haven't seen such a violent side, and there are others here, I'm sure, that suffer they same decision." A stinging sensation became present on her eyes and she realized that they must be turning red, so she took a deep breath and the stingin went away, leaving her currently green eyes alone, for now. No, now was not the time to cry, or at least not to Fade. In her mind, Fade thought that by crying, she looked weak. Of course she never felt this way when others cried, but she always felt that people judged her when she cried, and thus she refrained from crying everytime that she could. But the impact of Raph's thoughts were grinding into her mind and she attempted to push them aside, just focusing on why he would want to leave and not why she didn't want him to leave. So she took large gulp of her sprite and put it down, covering up the burp that resulted from the fizzing by holding her hand over her mouth. However, thoughts as to what he thought of her burping weren't even explored as she continued to search though his reasons to find one that she could understand.

Raphael studied her. It was obvious she did not want him to leave. He wasn't a fool, and it was more than clear her feelings on that matter. "Don't cry." He said, watching her blink and focus. "You cried when we first met... Can't say I liked it then... and I certainly won't like it now..." He watched her, and drew a breath. He especially did not want her to cry because of him, he did not feel worthy of her tears.

He stepped around the corner of the counter. "Sorry," he said. "I shouldn't dump this on you." He shook his head, with her reasoning, his own reasons seemed... small and insignificant. Yes, people disappeared, but likely it was just the same as what he was considering, and he was just blowing things out of proportion. Besides, it was becoming increasingly apparent to him that even if no one else needed him here, even if he failed to protect everyone else, Fade here infront of him did need him. "I'm sorry Jenny," he said quietly.

He stared at the countertop for a moment, and missed her hidden burp, not that it would have bothered him in the slightest. Those he called friends, especially ones he was getting close to, like her, he was lenient with. He sighed softly, and shook his head. He felt stupid for even having brought it up. "How... I dunno, how can I make it up to yuh?"

"Oh, tears are of the past, for now. It's just how I cope. I've buried things so deep in me that when something small happens, I could just start bawling." She shrugged. "But why would you be sorry? I mean, if it's a crime to confide in me, then yeah, you should apologize, but that's not the case. I should be the one apologizing for letting my emotions get to my head." She took another drink and leaned back with a slight smile.

"Ah, nothing to make up for, 'least not how I see it. Do you see it differently?"

Raphael nodded slowly. "You've no more reason to be sorry than me, following your reasoning Jenny." He added a smile to go along with his statement. "I do see it differently, as I still owe you a bite to eat though..."

While he had not said it aloud, he hopefully was conveying that he intended to remain at the mansion. "Wha'would you like to eat? I know how to make a good deal of things... a perk of livin' on both sides of the fence."

He waited for a moment, really looking her over, almost for the first time, then turned about and headed back to the fridge to collect what would be needed to fix whatever she decided on.

"How 'bout this, pick out as many things as you can that sound good, throw them together and surprise me. Who knows, maybe you'll come up with a great new recipe for the weirdest thing." She smiled, she did that once, when she was living with her foster parents, but it was ice cream topped with every sprinkle in the cabinet along with every syrup topping (no, not pancake syrup) and as much chocolate that she could find. However, that very good tasting sundae came to an end when she got sick from it.

There was a breeze of relief as they weren't talking about him leaving anymore so she was able to focus on chugging the rest of her sprite. When it was empty, she pulled off the tab and dropped it in the can before tossing it in the recyling bin.

He thought about that for a moment. He had tried that before... with less than spectacular results.

"Uh... lets not, and say we did, sound good?" He picked a couple chicken breasts out of the fridge. He pushed the door closed then got a cutting board out and set it onto the counter. "Got any preferred spices? I'm thinking a bit of stir-fry... it's fairly simple and easily done. And typically doesn't take long." He asked while prepping a pan with oil and getting it ready for the chicken, and other ingredients he would saute.

He returned to the fridge to get a couple vegetables for the stir-fry. It had been a long time since he had cooked for anyone but himself. "You know... there's still alot I've not told you 'bout me."

"I don't know any spices, sorry, I just eat the food and don't worry about what kind it is, a good trick I learned while I didn't have much food, sorry." She smiled in the apologetic way, you know, like a half smile, half normal face, and one eyebrow raised, the classic joker face.

"So what have you not told me about? I now know about the hidden chef in you, anything else?" She chuckled. Then again, what he was talking about might have been something not to chuckle about, like something sad. Fade's smile slowly moved into that of a curious face as she began thinking, << what if I just had the wrong reaction? Maybe I shouldn't just assume things before they come. Should have just relaxed and asked... >> "What?" She closed her mouth, realizing that she had said that outloud, but then she looked at the food as if that word never even popped out of her mouth, but it wasn't like it was a bad word, or a trigger, it was just 'what', nothing bad about that, she was safe.

”Gotcha, simple salt’n’pepper it is then,” He said, tossing freshly sliced chicken into the heated pan to produce sizzling and popping. He grabbed a wooden spoon and began tossing the chicken as it cooked. “Simpler is typically better.” As the chicken finished cooking he began adding the vegetables he had taken out and prepared.

“Not quite so benevolent Jenny… though that is a secret I’ve been keepin’,” he said and forced a smile onto his face, he had not spoken really about his past to anyone but Victoria, even though he felt much closer to Fade. He just had not had the opportunity to do so. “’Member how I said I was more violent than others here?” he said after her inadvertent ‘what’.

He turned glanced over his shoulder towards her. He debated mentally whether or not to go on. He waited for a moment, then looked to the door and back to the stir-fry pan and spoke up. “I almost killed my brother, right when I found out ‘bout my blades.” He stated, and sounded a might bit remorseful. “And I know you already know about those swat-like guys from that night… But I’ve also killed when it wasn’t in self-defense.” He waited for her response while continuing to cook.

A smile came across Fade's face. "Salt and pepper sounds wonderful." Well, even though she wasn't too hungry, the fumes from the chicken filled her nostrils and emptied her stomach and now she was hungry.

When he began talking about how he almost killed his brother and has killed while not in defense. Her facial expression changed from anticipation to remorse and confusion. There had to be a reason, so she looked at him and opened her mouth as if she was going to speak, but then suddenly stopped and closed it for a second before opening it and speaking, trying to get to the bottom of things. "Well, what happened between you and your brother?" After all, murder was something quite different, then again, he didn't seem like a murderer, maybe he was over-exaggerating because he went through it so he would feel worse than if he was an observer, however, it would be fantastic if he explained very well.

He continued to cook. It was a nice distracter for a couple moments while he thought about what he had just told her. “My brother was an accident.” He said with a soft sigh. “Before I even knew about my blades, an’ first time they popped out, I caught him in the gut.”

He paused for a couple moments before continuing to talk, “They were sharp before… and doubly so now… I haven’t tried, but I doubt I’d have a lotta trouble cutting through anything…” He shook his head some, tossing the food in the pan, keeping it cooking, and not burning. “My brother was rushed to the hospital and survived, though… It was obvious what I was, and my parents… my father, couldn’t stand to have a ‘freak’ in the family. I was exiled from home to a boarding school here in New York State. I didn’t stay long there.” He wondered why he was letting everything roll off his tongue, likely because he wanted her to know the truth of his past as he got ever closer to her. “I ran off, and spent a couple years earning my way assa cagefighter… you know what that is, right?”

He glanced over his shoulder at her, partially to check her reaction, and partially to see her friendly face, something he needs as he related some of his more painful memories. He turned his gaze back to the pan and waited for her response.

Her glance moved back down to the floor as she proccess what Raphael had just said. "Well, if it was the first time you got your power, then that isn't as bad as attempted murder with intention. I mean, if your blades just kinda appeared, then you shouldn't burden yourself with that memory. I'm so sorry about your brother though, and I'm glad that he survived." Her eyes raised from the ground and now focused at the back of his head as he was busy making her chicken. "And I get the general idea of cage fighting, basically fighting, in a cage, right?" She asked, just taking the name apart to come up with an answer.

She crossed her arms and looked down, still trying to piece together everything, when she saw him turn around and look at her, she looked up and into his eyes until he looked away. No matter what, he was her friend and they were close, so they could trust eachother with anything. Fade, herself, didn't have all that much seriously bad about her, just some fights here and there and stealing alot of things, but nothing such as killing or nearly killing.

Raphael moved the pan off the stove and to a hot spot. “Not exactly dinner chatter, and I apologize for that.” He said. “Food’s ready…” He moved to get plates for them, as well as eating instruments. Chopsticks for him, fork for her. “Yeah… its kinda like boxing, or UFC. Only more brutal. No tap-outs, only KO’s. No way out once you go in.”

He moved back to the pan and scooped out portions for both of them, and then carried both over to the counter right next to her, while debating whether or not continue the conversation he had begun. She likely doesn’t even need to know ‘bout the guy I killed in the ring…

He pulled a chair up besides Fade’s after setting the plates and eating utensils down. “Hope I haven’t killed your appetite.” He said, seating himself. He had killed his own appetite though, and merely messed with his food while watching her. “What do you think? Done good?” He asked, motioning at the food with his set of chopsticks.