Recent Posts

Rowan listened to the somber music Carrick played as he talked about his mother. Rowan just nodded, not sure what to say. He couldn't really...relate to having a positive relationship with a mother figure, but there was no need to mention that.

The roar, as short as it was, took Rowan off guard. It was hard to talk Fluffy out of this. That roar was a display of power, a direct threat. Roar back. Be louder. Show your teeth. Tear out his throat. Rowan could feel his teeth growing, his muscles flexing. The head banging, and the guitar riff, pulled Rowan back into reality. Carrick wasn't threatening him. Carrick was joking around. He was just trying to act like a rockstar. Not a threat. Rowan took a shaky breath, trying to focus on his own thoughts and not the thoughts of his beast.

Shortly after Carrick went back to playful teasing. For some reason it bothered him more than before, but that was probably his beasts doing. A growl rose in the back of his throat, which he quickly tried to cover with a cough. Rowan glanced over at Carrick, eyes red.

"Fine...fine we can have a mushy name. Like Beasts of Love or Heartbeats or something."

He stuck out his tongue, playfully, showing jagged teeth.

"But we gotta have a cool logo."

The boys heart sunk at Carrick's words. He did want to be normal. More than anything. He would happily become the world's most plain boy if it meant he didn't have to spend his waking hours in paranoia that he might harm himself or someone else. The fear that the police might accuse him of murder, the shame that people are afraid of him. And the bitter, constant, reminder that he can't do something as normal as watch a scary movie.

'Make it work for you.' Pssh. Easy for him to say. He got wings and a tail to flaunt. All Rowan got was a mouth full of dog teeth. And while the two shared a similar beast form Carrick seemed to have made some sort of arrangement with his. Rowan wanted to be normal so badly it hurt. But he didn't say any of this out loud. He had no reason to believe Carrick would understand. He let out a shaky sigh, trying to rejoin the conversation.

The wings flared and Fluffy took another thrash around Rowan's head. The wolf-beast interpreted this as a threat! The older boy was trying to act bigger to try and intimidate him! Rowan did his best to ignore this. The younger shifter raised his hands in an unarmed gesture. "Point taken. No cutesy nicknames for you."

Rowan was quiet again for a moment. Carrick had mentioned his father, and a brother, in a far less...positive way. He had kinda assumed his mother would be in the same boat, but she clearly wasn't.

"Are you...close with your mum?" Rowan asked, head tipped to the side in curiosity. "You don't have to like...tell me. The boy looked away. I'd just like to...get to know my...bandmate a little better."

The younger shifter was still grappling with the idea of being confident when Carrick threw another curveball. Body gets the attention...attitude keeps it.... Rowan frowned, looking at his unkept hair and oversized clothes. Scruffy and messy in comparison to Kalos' natural cuteness. He glanced over at Carrick. He was far more put together when it came to looks...he probably even styled his hair. That must mean something if he was able to get the attention of a princess.

"I...wouldn't say I'm a 'bad boy' everyone else seemed to think it though." He said, arms crossed in front of his chest. He blushed slightly when Carrick mentioned Kalos being 'into' him, but he couldn't find the words to argue back.

He listened and watched Carrick play, trying and failing to hide the impressed look in his eyes. He looked down at the drum set again. He could feel the music...right? With a look of concentration on his face Rowan tried again to play...anything.

He started tapping the cymbal, four times, setting a sort of metronomic rhythm to stay within. Once he was sure he had 4/4 time ingrained in his mind he began mixing in the other parts of the drums. A tap on the snare, a press on the base, a tap on the snare, a press on the base. He continued this pattern a moment, eyes widening. That...didn't sound too bad. Rowan puffed up a moment, boldening. This time when he finished his pattern, instead of starting again, he rolled down the toms, ending with a clash of the cymbal.

But on the final cymbal crash Rowan gave it a little too much force. The cymbal chattered loudly, the sound sensitive shifter flinching backwards. He closed his eyes, focusing on his breathing and not the oncoming panic he could feel building in his chest. The boy sighed, finally opening a red eye to glance at Carrick.

"I'm...sorry...I think the drums are...just too loud. And I can't exactly play softly...or with earmuffs on."

Rowan sat down, setting the drumsticks next to him.

"I...appreciate all the advice, but I don't know how useful any of it will be on someone like me. If I can't figure out how to stop shifting...well it won't matter if I'm charming or handsome or anything else..."

Rowan listened to Carrick intently, occasionally stealing glances at the older boy. He tried to hide the sparkle of admiration in his eyes. How quickly Carrick could go from a heavy topic back to a light one. And how the older shifter spoke about himself, and his beast, he sounded so...self-assured.

He gave a quick nod at Carrick's not so subtile request to keep the Princess discussion between the two of them. The boy tried to keep up in conversation, struggling not to fall back into his head.

"I...uh...don't think my Beast has much problems with Kalos...She's little, and not exactly...uhm, strong. He doesn't see her as a threat..." He stole a quick glance at Carrick. "So he mostly stays quiet..."

Rowan went back to lightly drumming the toms, letting his thoughts spill out.

"We...uh, my beast and I, we don't...like being touched." Rowan gave an instinctual scratch at the scar on his face. "It makes me...anxious, set's off alarm bells in my head, makes me think someones gonna hit me, and that gets my beast all riled up."

The younger shifter let out a small laugh, the smile lingering on his face a moment longer.

"But...I've let Kalos hold my hand and arm...I caught her when she fell out of a window...and I didn't feel anxious. It was..."

Rowan stopped speaking, realizing how soft hearted he was sounding. The younger shifter suddenly took a deep breath and began whaling on the drums. It was nothing revolutionary, but maybe Rowan was starting to get a feel for the instrument. Or maybe he wanted to prove it to himself that he could handle the noise. Today was a lot of firsts for Rowan. He got to talk to a fellow shifter about problems the two shared and could relate to, and he got to talk about his crush. Why not make noise too?

When he was done he was standing over the drums, chest rising quickly from the sudden physical exertion. Rowan looked up at Carrick, his eyes slightly red. Fluffy was not pleased about all the noise.

"I...I really wanna be confident...like you. I want to be able to say that I'm in control...and really mean it."

Rowan continued to press the foot pedal, enjoying the little tune Carrick was playing along to it. Experimentally he tapped a pointed fingernail against the cymbal, adding just a little more to the music. The younger shifter laughed a bit at the unfortunate combo of fires and rabbits.

And at the mention of kissing Rowan was back to averting his eyes, embarrassed. He hadn't even thought about kissing her! He just wanted to keep holding her hand and stuff! And the butterflies in his stomach were already bad when he saw her! But Carrick said they would get worse? Rowan gave a meek nod of his head at the confirmation of a study date. There wasn't a risk of him ruining a kiss at a study date...right?

"I guess...there's nothing wrong with being different, per se...but I'm different in a: 'if I have a panic attack I turn into a dog' and she's different in a...cute way..."

Carrick mentioned Atlantis. That was a strange coincidence. Rowan began to speak without really thinking of what he was saying, removing his foot from the pedal.

"Huh...you're dating someone from Atlantis? That's wild! Kalos is from-" Rowan clamped his mouth shut, but it was too late, he already said her name. "M-my friend! Kalos! I uh, have a class with her! And totally not a crush!" Rowan added panicked, trying to cover up his slip but making it far worse. Rowan's face turned bright red, covering his face with his hands.

"Never mind." he grumbled into his hands. "Just kill me, end my suffering."

Patience really wasn't Rowan's strong suit. He didn't want to practice talking to girls, he wanted to immediately get over his nerves at talking to her. Although it brought him some comfort to know someone as cool as Carrick once struggle talking to girls too.

The boy glanced around the music room. He wasn't sure the last time he was in a room with so many instruments. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, suddenly worried about breaking something expensive. Rowan flinched slightly as the guitar was plugged in and the amp crackled to life. The loud noise not exactly helping his beastial nature keep calm.

Get her attention...and keep it? Rowan frowned slightly, glancing down at himself. He...wasn't much to look at. Small framed, baggy clothes, messy hair. Still hoping for another growth spurt. And being a giant wolf wasn't the kind of attention he wanted to have, not with her. With a sigh Rowan sat on the floor, watching Carrick carefully.

"I don't think...I can do any of those things." The younger shifter looked away. "My previous schools didn't really put much into their art programs, at least not for the guys. We mostly did sports and stuff."

He frowned, still looking around the music room.

"I know she's having some school trouble...I considered offering to tutor her, at least in the subjects I feel good at, but I don't want to...insult her intelligence."

Rowan grumbled again, eyes falling on the drum set in the back of the room..

"And helping a girl in English class, it's not exactly...I dunno...romantic? Not in the same way playing a guitar is."

Rowan watched Kalos play with the snow with a slight smile on his face. The word differenter caused the boy to let out a soft laugh.

"Snow is kinda a weird thing. Sometimes it's heavy and wet, and good for making snowmen, and sometimes it's light and fluffy." He gave the snow a little kick, sending a puff of snow up into the air. "This time of year it's normally icy though. Which is rough, unless you like ice-skating."

The boy glanced over his shoulder, seeing that Zorro was getting close again. So, as was becoming an odd routine, Rowan told the dog to wait a safe distance from Kalos, shuffled over, and gave the ball another chuck. With Zorro again occupied, and Kalos safe from the dog, Rowan returned.

Just as he got back he saw her tugging on the sleeves of her sweater. Dang. She must be getting cold. Back to the mission at hand, getting Kalos back inside. He blushed slightly as Kalos reached out to him, the boy offering his arm in return. It would provide her with support in case she slipped, and he wouldn't have the risk of being distracted by holding hands with a girl.

Once the two's arms were entwined Rowan began to lead, walking the two carefully towards the school's entrance.

"Yeah, I've always lived in places with snowy winters. When I was little I lived in a smaller village though, and it always felt like spring would rain away the snow early." The boy looked out over the school's property and towards the city. "But, of all the other school's and places I've lived, this is the biggest city. Sometime's the noise bothers me, especially at night."