The Ranger drove a very, very large truck. The delight in Jude’s eyes when Rhia brought up the enhancement had him trying and very nearly failing at keeping the glee inside. Which was only a little awkward when the person in question came over to chat, girlfriend in tow.

Jude was a natural flirt. Zaid turning pink was all the more reason to both push the line and reign it in with the girl, amusing as she might be. He didn’t want to actually start trouble or make Zaid feel insecure. He just found that spark of devilishness hard to ignore when his own mischievous streak was so pronounced.

Ranger’s howdy was sarcastic..? Or strained? The handshake was pretty normal. It wasn’t a Ranger handshake if you didn’t at least fracture something. But still… Something was off right away. Jude could tell because he forgot Zaid’s name already. Micahel was a lot of things, but being forgetful of names wasn’t really one of them.

Jude shot a dirty look at Noel, the most likely reason for such a flub. He was sorely tempted to take her power away for a bit. Put her in time out. But that might end up as more work for him and more a reward for her. Nah. She should have to live with her mistakes. Besides, he wasn’t that practiced with that aspect of his power just yet. There weren’t a lot of people willing to help him test it out.

Noel introduced herself as awkward and stunted as usual. In a way, Jude pitied her. He watched the exchanges with Rhia curiously. Rhia seemed… something. Antagonistic? Sardonic? Jude supposed they’d made a scene. They were a near constant scene, apparently, if Noel had somehow hit Rhia with a high heel.

Cringe did not cover how Noel was feeling about meeting people. He took a sip of his drink, the manly and disappointing one. This did not improve his disposition. At least the question Rhia fired at him was easily answered. The Ranger had no qualms about sharing where he was from. They’d practically camped out in his backyard, as far as Texans were concerned.

”Bryan.” Her accent was less than his own, Noel noticed. He hadn’t realized he’d been sporting an accent at all until that moment when he offered his hand to shake. ”Y’r a long way from y’r home country, Rhia. Always nice t’ see ‘nother Texan in these parts.”

”We were just chatting about your truck.” Jude, ever the gentleman, rescued Zaid with an arm around his shoulder. ”It’s a very big truck. Does it have a lift kit, too, or did you pick out the biggest one on purpose?” Innocent questions posed not-so-innocently considering the other topic they’d bandied about.

”Please. Call her by her name, Jude. She’s th’ Fordasaurus.” And that was about the extent of Noel’s knowledge of trucks. She scrambled to sound like she knew what she was talking about working from what little knowledge she had. ”She’s big enough that it ripped my pants when liftin’ her. Prolly made bigg’r by all the kitted out extr— what?”

Jude turned his face into Zaid’s neck to snicker. The truck made him rip his pants.

Boots, or Noel as it turned out her name was, made a face when Michael said he was from Bryan. It was like she had bitten into something foul but was trying to keep a polite smile on so the host who made the food didn’t realize that you thought that you had been served the poo poo platter instead of the pu pu platter. A generous helping of cosmo even followed.

Home country? Rhia had a moment where she looked at Michael with a puzzled look on her face before she realized what he was saying, ”Oh! Yes.” Rhia said, remembering how in school there had been a few that had joked about the Republic of Texas still being a thing. ”Do you have trouble finding places to hitch your horse too? I just leave mine at my dorm. Too much trouble.” Again, Noel was making a face.

Jude chimed in, bringing up the truck. Rhia’s eyes went wide and a smile creeped across her face. This ought to be good. Michael set off innocently into an answer not knowing that he was playing right into a joke. How much did Michael need the surgery? Clearly very, very bad. Rhia had to put her hand over her mouth to contain her laughter. Her eyes pinched at the sides showing her feelings. She was worried she might cry from laughter. His pants had been ripped! Michael must have noticed the laughter from the group as he cut himself off.

”Oh… I’m... so sorry… to hear about… your… pants.” Rhia said, her cadence broken and her voice a half octave higher as she fought back hysterical laughter. ”The Fordasaurus... sounds very... big.” She snorted and a few giggles escaped. Her giggle dick might be bigger than Michael's... Well, bigger than Michael's 'truck' and Noel-Michael had smashed it.

Noel seemed to catch on to what was being said. Her eyes narrowed at the jokes and for a moment it looked like she was about to speak up and defend Michael. Rhia wondered what she would say. How would Noel defend her man without admitting that she was the man. Well, normally. That or publicly discussing bedroom activity… Or at least making it sound that way. Instead she just downed her drink and said, "very funny," her eye twitching as soon as she finished speaking. Rhia grinned the largest of Cheshire grins at her response.

"I thought so."

What a shame it was, had Noel not known before of the... inadequacy… she certainly would know now. Honestly, there was no need for large trucks in the city unless you truly were compensating for something. It made Rhia wonder, did Michael use steroids too? Get a small set to go with the small one.

Jude shared a look with Zaid and they both lost it. Fortunately, or unfortunately, the Ranger seemed to not get the joke. That, honestly, made it even funnier. Boots could glare all she wanted. THere was no getting out of this one.

Noel thought that the horse joke seemed like one that Michael would have leaned into, but for the life of him, he couldn't figure out how Michael would have done it. Noel shrugged because he'd never learned to ride a horse… had Michael? Pretending to be someone else was turning out to be more difficult than expected.

Because now Noel was the butt of the joke. He shut his mouth and tried to think through what he knew, but his memory wasn’t indexed like he was used to. He couldn’t just zip to relevant memories on command. He had to try to figure out how to recall them… Ripped pants were objectively funny, sure. But not that funny. The Fordasaurus was big. But that was... also funny?

Noel’s eye got big as the joke finally landed. It was a challenge to his manhood. Which, he’d never actually seen…?

Was he supposed to defend that?


"W’dyou believe my other car’s a teensy clown car? No?” He shrugged at Micahel who he noticed was grimacing every few moments, Noel was doubly confused until he realized that he'd been talking with the intent to deceive. And the girl’s snide remarks must have been too.

He facepalmed. This night was turning into an absolute disaster. Like high school levels of point and laugh disaster.

His hands were tied. Noel didn’t want to besmirch the Ranger’s good reputation by throttling people simply because he was confused. Noel rolled his wrist to pop it while easing into a forced smile. That was less of a threat in this body, but he couldn’t keep up with the social repartee.

"Well I’d best just quit while I’m behind. I’ll see you at work—?” Noel glanced to Michael for that hint of confirmation before continuing. ”—Jude. Zaid ‘n Rhia, it was a time meeting you. Y’all enjoy your ev'nin'."

Jude caught the Ranger’s hand for one last shake before letting him escape. It was odd… he wasn’t quite himself. Again, it was all too easy to blame Boots.

”Did you see her face? I don’t think Noel likes us.” He said it almost as a badge of pride. Jude and Noel had never really seen eye-to-eye. Still… something was off, for sure. The problem was… would it be something he had to clean up later?

Zaid has known Jude for long enough to sense his boyfriend had a dislike for ‘Boots’. While he had come to terms with Jude’s friendly (and occasionally flirtatious) personality, the reception this woman received was less than glowing. He would venture to say it was icy, even. There were stories, he was sure, about how she caused an incident or two for Jude to clean up. Or it could be the fact that she was dating his boss, but Jude seemed mostly friendly toward the other man. It was something he was sure he could hear about more.

Zaid giggled against his will several times during the conversation. The left the truck got, the worse Ranger seemed to look. Zaid has enough sense to feel somewhat bad for the man, but did not ruin the sport. He just let things roll, enjoyed his company, and burst into another fit of giggles when they left.

”I take it you two don’t get along?” Zaid commented, watching the couple leave. ”Although, was it just me or did they seem....off? Are they always like that? Texas sure seemed awful forced...” Texas being Ranger in this conversation.

He peaked over Jude’s shoulder the direction the couple had left, and could have sworn he saw Noel take an unsteady tilt on her heals. [b”And who wears those shoes if they can’t even walk in them?”[/b] he remarked. ”She could have gotten away with flats if she didn’t want to look like a baby giraffe learning to walk....”

Rhia was practically bouncing when Michael and Noel left. She had to bark out a very quick ”Bye.” to contain her laughter. She understood why there was the awkwardness and could see the looks between them for what they were while ‘Michael’ was talking.

Jude seemed to take pride in Noel not liking them.Rhia bit her tongue and took a drink. ’Oh, but that isn’t Noel who was making that face.’ Zaid asked the question that was on her mind. About Jude and Noel not getting along. Rhia had to guess it was because Noel was the kind of person to behave like… Like a person who just makes out at a wedding!

Zaid continued, asking if the pair had seemed off. Rhia looked to Jude, this would be fun to know. Other than being ushed by Michael and watching them make out, Rhia didn’t know the pair as they normally were. ”Yeah, Michael didn’t seem to catch on to the joke as fast as I would have thought. Given the rumors you said he had leaned into.”

What finally did Rhia in… What finally made her the giddiest of all schoolgirls, was Zaid describing ‘Noel’s’ walking in heels as a baby giraffe learning to walk. Literal tears welled up at the corners of her eyes as she contained laughter, her arms shaking with joy. ”Maybe… It’s part of some cosmic punishment… for their makeout session… In the church.” Rhia was grinning ear to ear.

Jude seemed to have a big enough beef with his boss and an even bigger one with Noel. Maybe it was the alcohol talking, but Rhia decided that maybe she should let Jude and Zaid in on the fun. If the pair were going to try and play at being each other, than the more people who could mess with them the better.

Rhia touched her tongue to the bottom of her top teeth before asking, ”How would you like… To have some fun at their expense? I… May have… Oh, screw being coy. I can swap people’s bodies.” A pause for a beat, ”I swapped them while they made out during the wedding. My own little punishment.”
[/i]

---

The tastes just kept on lying, the lying kept on tasting, and Ranger was out of peach cosmo to try and wash it out of her mouth with. When it was clear that Noel was wrapping up the conversation she gladly gave a small nod to the question. She hoped Jude didn’t notice. Making it through until she nad Noel swapped back without that information making its way back to BlacTac was ideal.

Ranger waved to the group as Noel shook Jude’s hand, ”Bye, yall.”

When the pair extracted themselves from the group, Ranger stepped toward the bar. Her drink was empty. After a few more steps she reached for the whisky Noel held and held out the empty glass she had on hand. ”Here. Trade y’ back.” Then Ranger would have a drink and only Noel would need to get one.

Paying attention to drink swapping took attention away from heel walking. There was a moment where Ranger felt an ankle doing not right things. An unstead tilt for a moment before Ranger got the damn things under control. ”Why… Do women wear these things?” Ranger asked and looked down to indicate the heels. ”I wear lif’s daily… but thiss is…This is somethin’ else entirely.”

There was a slight slur to her speech. Nothing too pronounced but enough to be noticed.

”I’m gunna have t’ get Jude back f’r that. Wavin’ us over jus’ t’ make jokes... “ Never mind that Ranger had done that exact thing before to Jude.

> ”I take it you two don’t get along?”

"Boots is... special. She’s a mutant, but through her mouth. It means she's less than discriminating about who gets kisses." Some powers were just no fun. Jude clung to his bunny and nodded along at his comment about weirdness. And heels… well, Jude knew she sometimes forgot how to walk at all. So he was a teensy bit more forgiving there. Still willing to snicker at the baby giraffe comment, but also more understanding.

Maybe it was karma for the display in church. Or, maybe it was Rhia.

Jude laser focused on the giggling girl. He’d known she was a mutant, but… a body swapper…

"Oh my god.” And suddenly so many things fell into place. Both of them having accents, Boots saying y’all, Ranger not getting the joke… that hadn’t been Ranger at all. "That’s brilliant! How does that work? Oh! No! How long does it last? Did Boots keep her abilities? I’m guessing not. Her body was making faces. So… oh. Ranger got the full experience.” Jude had to let go of Zaid in order to devolve into laughter then, offering a sloppy high five to Rhia from where he doubled over.

”Zaid! Zaid, I double dog dare you to walk past them and lie. Like, the biggest lie you can. It doesn’t even have to be in English, but it needs to be unholy fiction.”

And, if Jude were to swap someone… who would he swap? The Frenchman surveyed the melange with new eyes. One of Whirlwind’s dates was still at the bar. She could be a good target for someone who was deserving. In fact… where was Whirlwind?

”Hey, Rhia. You know what’s something all BlacTac employees have in common?” He grinned with every bit of mischief in his body, more than happy to wait to spill the beans for dramatic effect.

---

Noel’s drink was replaced by Michael’s empty. And Michael was well on her way to getting a little bit sloppy.

”Hey now. Y’ cain’t chug that fast or y’ won’ walk that straight.” Case in point, her ankles were strong, but… that was concerning. Noel steered them to a table and parked Michael there. ”How long’re we needed here, really?” Michael was suffering, clearly. And Noel was suffering in an entirely different way.

”I heard a little rumor about the two of you.” A man previously identified by Ranger as ‘Tedward’ came in to shake Noel’s hand. It was a man-to-man shake. There were eyebrows involved and head tilts toward Michael. Was he…? Congratulating him?

Zaid was not as superstitious as her parents had been, but he did feel Karma could show itself at unlikely times. Today it seemed to arrive in a body swapping mutant. He could not quite share Jude’s level of glee (since his first meeting with the two had been apparently with their bodies misplaced), but the idea of the Texas cowboy tottering around in a dress and heels was enough for him to join the laughter.

Then, Jude gave him a mission. Zaid grinned wickedly, and tilted one ear as he did, ”Challenge accepted. Wish me luck!”

He sauntered his way toward the drink table, knowing it would cross paths directly behind the seated Boots...err, Texas. Texas in Boots body? He took out his phone, muttering to himself in Japanese as he passed behind them.

The lie, roughly translated, came out to be: “I am a Texas polar bear who eats mice every full moon.”

He managed to do so when the woman had taken a very large swing of her drink. It promised to be a decent spit take if he had timed it right, and better yet, Tedward was right in the line of fire.

He tucked his phone in his pocket and collected his drink, ears taking in the sounds of the well placed kid.

Rhia’s revelation was well received. So well, in fact, that Jude had doubled over in laughter and offered a high five. It was from an awkward position but Rhia was able to bend her knees and lean over a little bit to slap Jude’s hand. His laughter was setting off more of her laughter. It was as if the pair had kicked each other in the giggle dick. And Zaid had joined in too! Jude’s laughter most likely came from knowing the swap victims. For Zaid to laugh wither the laughter was too infectious or the idea of them being swapped was just good comedy... ¿Por que no los dos?

”It lasts for two days unless I end it early,” Rhia set to answering Jude’s questions, ”Michael has Boot’s powers… Or.. I’m guessing he’s Ranger? Y’all have fancy codenames like you’re the X-Dudes or something?” The switch to calling Michael Ranger tripped Rhia up for a moment, ”What… Is her power? I didn’t see ‘Michael’ kissing anyone, just making faces at… Lies?!”

WHat was happening clicked in Rhia’s head. The faces Michael kept making. They were when someone, most often herself or Noel, were lying!

Jude was Johnny on the spot and was asking Zaid to go lie around Michael. No, not just a lie, a monster of a lie. “Unholy fiction”. Had there not been a drink in Rhia’s hand she would have been clapping. She wanted to see this. And Zaid accepted the challenge. Rhia’s eyes grew wide with excitement. ”Good luck~” Rhia sang.

”Oooh. Y’all are just too much fun.” Rhia watched Zaid wander off toward where Michael had been parked by Noel. There was someone else who had walked over and was shaking Noel’s hand. Michael was going for a sip and… There it was! A spit take! All over the man who had approached. ”That. Was. Magical.”

Jude spoke and Rhia looked back to him, he had a mischievous grin to rival Rhia’s own plastered across his wonderfully brilliant face. ”What’s something all BlacTac employees have in common?” Rhia asked, her curiosity piqued. Jude had just earned all points… Even if they don’t matter.

---

The not in any way subtle walking in heels mistake Ranger made was not missed by Noel. He was cautioning her to slow down her drinking or she wouldn’t be able to walk straight. Too late for that it seemed. Noel parked Ranger at a table. She sat down in a chair, thankful to be off her feet for a moment.

”We aren’t needed… But we should at least stay f’r the toasts.” Ranger said. She didn’t know what the itinerary for the evening was, only that leaving too early would likely be seen by Winny as another slight. And if she didn’t notice, someone might mention to Sideshow about them skipping out early and he might come asking questions when he came back to work.

Tedward approached and spoke to Noel while shaking his hand. He had heard a rumor? Which rumor? Ranger sipped at her whisky while trying to remember if she had piled onto a rumor with Tedward. Triplets? Getting married in Vegas? Ranger looked at her hand, well no ring so that one is less believable. Ranger had responded to that rumor that they had a lovely ceremony with the king officiating, while they were dressed in matching Elvis suits. Noel had managed a glorious pompadour with her hair. Nevada might one day recover from the great hair spray shortage.

Hair… Ranger had opened her mouth to ask which rumor when she found some of her hair had hitched a ride with her drink. She hooked it with a finger and drew out the offending strands. Not too off put by having to pull hair out of her mouth, Ranger went for another sip while Noel carried on with Tedward.

The glass had only just left her face when a taste most foul broke into her mouth like the Kool-Aid man. It settled onto her tongue and Ranger could not help but react to it. A little too violently. The whisky erupted from Ranger’s mouth and sprayed all over Tedward.

To his credit, Tedward didn’t erupt with anger. He just stared at Ranger for a moment before wiping whisky off his face. ”Uh… Party foul.”

”Oh… I am so sorry.” Ranger apologized and grabbed napkins on the table to push Tedward’s way.

”Might want one for yourself.” Tedward directed with his forehead, not with his eyes, and Ranger looked down to see some of the spray had wound up on the dress she was wearing.

”Oh! Thanks.” Turning a shade closer to the dress, Ranger took one napkin and wiped at the dress. ”Uh… Excuse me.” Ranger stood up, napkin in hand but no longer wiping at the dress. She looked to Noel and mouthed, ’bathroom.’ before setting off. Walking right out of her heels as she started toward the restrooms.

A fountain of 12 year old whiskey peppered Tedward and Jude's snorting guffaw was enough for even Tedward to turn and suspect something. Jude quickly turned back to their table and snickered as he waited for Zaid to come back around.

"Magical!" Jude agreed while wiping a single tear. "I have to wonder what he said."

Eventually he got a handle on himself enough for Rhia to ask the million dollar question.

> ”What’s something all BlacTac employees have in common?”

Jude grinned and put his hand out for Rhia's. Once he had her hand in his, Jude took a moment to breathe and focus his power. It was all too happy to be let off its leash, and more than happy to lick up the information it needed to imitate what was closest. With so many mutants around, Jude wanted to be careful. Mischief took over and his smile cranked up a notch as he felt his power settle down.

Her power was subtle. Very subtle. But it felt immediately workable.

"We're mutants, Rhia." Not every single one of them, but all the big players were. "And I, for one, think your power is gloriously karmic. I'll be borrowing a copy for a bit, if you don't mind."

Jude released her hand and turned and pointed to Jonas Gerhart, aka Whirlwind. "Mister two dates, you should take a lesson from your elders." He really wasn't sure how it happened, but Jude pointed at a grandpa who was stooped at a table, holding the hand of his equally decrepit wheelchair-bound wife.

The pointing was probably unneeded, but it was best to be careful when directing new powers.

The old man jerked in his seat, looking around in absolute bewilderment. Jude craned his neck to check on gramps in Gerhart's body. He'd been dancing with one of those dates and seemed to pause momentarily.

Did it work? That meant it worked, right?

---

Just because he wasn't in direct line of the spray didn't mean that Noel wasn't collateral damage.

> "Uh... Party foul."

"Are y'—" "Okay" wasn't really going to cut it. And he wasn't even sure which person he meant to ask. Michael was in her body and her body did not look so hot. Noel grabbed the napkins Michael shoved their way to help mop up Tedward and himself. Noel was mostly just misted. Tedward had actual drips dripping from his nose and cheeks. Which also fell into the "not really okay" category.

"She's not- uh... She's not feelin' too well."

"Is that whiskey?" He was obviously trying not to judge while actually judging.

And that's what made it sink in for Noel. Pregnant ladies didn't drink.

"And she ain't preggo. Don' worry." Noel pat Tedward on the shoulder a bit awkwardly. Wait. Was he supposed to joke about the pregnancy thing? Noel was doing a terrible job at being Michael.

Michael turned a few colors, but Noel couldn't care less about the dress. She mostly just wanted the toasts to happen so this night could end. Michael not-so-subtly indicated that Noel should follow her to the restroom and he sighed at Tedward's cackle.

"Looks like you're in trouble. You'd better go, man."

He got a fist bump for solidarity and followed.

Zaid enjoyed the spit-take, and then noticed as Boots (Texas) was heading toward the bathroom. There was a moment when the little solo giraffe was wandering through the floor barefoot, and Zaid felt his ears tilt with the impending sense of foreshadowing. Then, she wandered into the bathroom. Oh, the men's bathroom. Clearly, Texas was too drunk to remember he was a she right now.

Zaid paused for a second, and watched as Texas (Boots) also went that direction. This body got waylaid by another BlacTac employee, and Zaid realized the Boots' body was still stuck in the men's bathroom unsupervised.

After a moment's consideration, he wandered that way. He was torn between helping, and watching the fiasco.

His conscious was spared when Boots (body) exited the bathroom, in the process of pawing at their dress with a glob of toilet paper. He felt his eyes widen in surprise. "Stars! What are you doing? You're leaving toilet paper lint all over your dress!" He glanced around, wondering if there was a rag he should get her or not. "Don't wipe at it more you'll make it....Oh...Your make-up." He paused again, now having a good look at her. Drunk and whisky spit-takes did not mix. "I, uh. did you bring anything extra to touch up with? You may want to fix your...eyeliner...lipstick, just...oh stars, everything."

He wanted to laugh, but this punishment looked a lot more painful up close. She was going to look like a panda if she didn't do something. Or, he would look like a panda.

Although, with Zaid suggesting Ranger touch up the make-up while tipsy, this could get even worse.

In answer to Rhia’s question, Jude held out his hand. Rhia cocked her head to the side and looked at it. Thinking that Jude simply had a flair for the dramatic, she set her hand in his. She looked at Jude’s face with a look that both questioned while showing anticipation. When he gave his answer… SHe didn’t understand why he would want her hand.

Until she did.

Her eyebrows shot up and her mouth made an O. Jude had copied her power! She had never heard of another mutant doing that! Her surprise resolved back to an open mouthed smile. ”Well that is certainly something interesting.” She was going to ask why Jude had copied her power but Jude had already released her hand and was pointing to the man who had both of his girlfriends show up.

Jude was getting into Rhia’s own brand of karmic justice. She laughed as she watched Jude try to use her power. Only when he said ‘elder’ did she realize that he was pointing at an old man. ”Oh no! Not him!” It was too late though.

The old man jerked and then looked around in confusion. Rhia looked from the old man to mister two dates. He was standing on the dance floor looking around completely befuddled. Rhia then turned her eyes to Jude. He jovial attitude evaporated.

”Hey! You can’t just do that!” Rhia worked to keep her voice down but her ,just on the mad side of the irritated angry county line, displeasure came through. ”You can’t just swap around the elderly! That old man did nothing to deserve two-dates-Magoo almost having a heart attack for him!” Rhia set her drink down and put her hands on her hips. Rhia locked eyes with jude and in an instant decided that if he wanted to have her power he needed to know how it worked. ”Look. If you want to play around with my power you need to understand it and be careful”

As soon as she finished speaking her power triggered and she had a familiar feeling. In the instant that her power took to work Rhia felt her consciousness exit her body and float toward Jude’s. It felt like it took several seconds to cross the distance to his body, but she knew that it was effectively instantaneous.

Now staring at herself, Rhia continued, ”It can be jarring the first time it happens and I don’t know what would happen if someone had a heart attack and died while swapped.” Rhia’s anger began to fade. The old man was fine for then and Rhia had exacted a form of education vengeance on Jude.

---

Ranger walked to the bathroom barefoot. Halfway across the floor she realized that she was not wearing heels anymore. She spun around, mistake, looking to see where she had lost them. She didn’t see them. She stumbled back to walking forward. Maybe they were at the table? She didn’t remember taking them off… or launching them into anyone.

It didn’t matter though. She could deal with that later. At that moment she had two things to deal with. One, the whiskey on the dress. Two, she had to pee!

Stumbling into the bathroom Ranger made her way to a urinal. While it may have been a busy party, there was no line. In fact other than someone in a stall she was alone in the bathroom. Standing at the urinal she reached to undo a belt before remembering she wasn’t wearing one. So she hiked up the dress… And realized she was in the mens room! Not that being in the mens room was abnormal for Ranger, but normally Ranger was differently equipped. She stepped away from the urinal. Okay. She could wait to pee. She looked to the sinks… No paper towels, just the useless air dryers. She resisted the urge to groan in frustration and went to a stall. There was toilet paper. That would work… After she did her business.

Ranger walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper in hand and was wiping at the whiskey on the dress. It was fairly dry by then, just the spots that received the largest drops still wet.

Ranger snapped her head up from her own chest when she heard Zaid exclaiming about the lint being left on the dress. Moving the clearly incorrect tool for the job away from her chest, Ranger wide eyed stared at Zaid. Jude’s boyfriend who had just seen Noel come out of a mens room wiping her dress with toilet paper. Not the best look. And to top it all off… It was leaving a mess on the dress. Oh! And her makeup was a mess.

”Yeah… I brought...” Ranger opened the small purse she had on her wrist. ID, phone, credit card, and ”...lipstick.” Ranger pulled the lipstick and phone from her purse. ”Thank y’ f’r lettin’ me know.” Ranger phone up to use as a mirror and had the lipstick uncapped and ready to use. It couldn’t be that hard right? Just like chapstick… but with a little more precision required. She touched the lipstick to her lips and tried to follow where he thought the lipstick should go… It went. Not super well though. Ranger’s eyes narrowed as she tried to focus but only seemed to slide the lipstick further off course. The odd clown makeup Ranger was making almost fit with the… everything else being wrong appearance that her face had.

Oh no not him? Why not? Jude pouted. Grandpa looked like he deserved a day to be young again.

> "That old man did nothing to deserve two-dates-Magoo almost having a heart attack for him!”

Jude opened his mouth and then shut it again. He clearly hadn't thought of it from that direction. "I wanted to give him a reward. Look how happy he is." Already, Whirlwind's body was back to dancing. Whirlwind, however, was having trouble standing up.

And then the most odd sensation overcame him. Like he was lifting up or changing perspectives. It was almost dizzying. In fact, it was downright disorienting to be suddenly looking at himself as his lips said Rhia's words.

"Point taken." She pouted further until she realized that Rhia now had his power as well as her own. "Wait. You have two now! No... I just swapped. Should be okay for a minute." Her sudden alarm, and slight return of her native French accent, melted away as her brain fully caught up to the situation.

"My power is like an excited puppy. It wants new things all the time. It's why I asked for your hand, so I could point it in the right direction instead of everywhere or anywhere." In fact, Rhia could now look around the room and feel more than see an indication for every mutant. Jude could point out who did and who did not have an active x-gene. Staying where she was and having recently swapped powers, Jude knew the power would be at its most dormant instead of its usual tugging at the reigns. Every power read to him like a bundle of rubber bands. He just... sort of sometimes borrowed one.

"I... I guess you might have some experience with other mutations if you swap bodies yourself." Huh. He'd never actually met someone else with experience in handling more than their own.

---

Michael lost her shoes. Noel was just about done with all of everything as he stopped to scoop the shoes out of the way of the dancers at the edge of the dance floor. She could have broken someone else's ankle.

Noel thought he might break something worse when he was once again waylaid.

"She got'chu whipped." Noel couldn't identify this person. Had he ever been told his name? He wasn't even sure.

He would not deck a stranger, he would not deck a stranger, he would not deck a stranger. He absolutely would not make another scene at this wedding. Noel sighed. It was time to embrace the suck.

"Y' know, at firs' the chastity belt chafed a bit, but th' metal undies 'r reeeally startin' to grow on me. 24/7 protection and she don' even have to worry." He was tempted to offer a good hit on those bits to test it out, but did think better of that before it actually happened. He was knife poof-- Noel knew that much-- but was he kick-in-the-balls-proof?

"Dude. Blink twice if you're under duress."

Gobs were smacked. Noses were snorting. And in the befuddled amusement of the situation Noel was laughing his way through the bunch of guys. There did seem to be an inequality of genders considering all the BlacTac employees skewed heavily male.

"I mean, I guess she ran you down across the country. There's no point in trying to escape any more."

"Oh it was furth'r than 'cross country. You think I'd set foot in California unless I had to? Hah. I was on my way to space when she showed up."

Zaid was caught in a moral dilemma. Letting Texas continue with his poor attempt at makeup would certainly up the ante on humor, but walking away while he was so obviously clown faced would make him look bad as a human. With a face-palm, Zaid grabbed the hand fussing with lipstick and gently stopped the attempt.

"Hon, you are making yourself look like a Ringling Bros escapee, I would quit while you're ahead. Just, stay there." With a quick gesture for her (him) to stay, Zaid zipped to a nearby table and grabbed a bottle of water an a clean linen napkin. The laundry person would hate him, but this was a bit more important. Wetting the cloth, he gestured for Noel to look at him. "Not trying to get up close and personal but I don't think you're steady enough to fix this."

Then, Boots' (body) did something...weird. Their eyes met and he swore they like, twitched. Or moved, or what the heck were they doing? Zaid found himself staring for longer than planned, completely drawn in by the motion. He finally blinked, and shook his head, holding out the napkin. "Actually, I think I see your guy walking up. Maybe he can help you. Just, don't try on your own until then."

Still trying to shake the feeling, he walked back to where Jude and Rhia were standing, grabbing a cup of juice in the meantime. He needed something to shake off the strangeness. But when he approached, he found himself staring at the cup, sort of lost on what he was actually doing with it. He opened his mouth, blinked, shut it again. Stars, what was he supposed to do with this?

"Hey, Jude, what are Boots powers again?" He kept staring at the cup trying to figure out how to get the liquid from the container into his mouth. In the end, he did the bunny thing and lapped it with his tongue. Ha. Won.

Rhia could understand wanting to reward the old man. The old man was clearly having a great time making use of his newfound youth. On the other hand, two-dates was likely going to break the old man’s hip for him! If the old man got hurt Rhia would have to come up with some way to punish Jude. Not a hip for a hip, Rhia wasn’t Hammurabi… Maybe Swapurabi. She wasn’t about to break Jude’s hip and swap back though. That would just be too far.

Also… It would really hurt!

Luckily for Rhia Jude took his point. When Jude admitted it, Rhia nodded with a satisfied smile on his face. ”Good.” His voice still carried some of the harsh fire from before.

He was about to end the swap on the men when Jude broke in talking about… Him having two? Saying she just swapped? Well, duh. She had just swapped with Jude. Rhia looked at her funny because she was well aware of the swapping. He had done it. Did Jude have memory issues? That and an accent change. She sounded good with a French accent.

”I think… You’re cut off.” Rhia reached over and took hold of the glass Jude was holding. He sipped the vodka and redbull. It didn’t taste quite the same. Close but not exactly as he knew it to taste. Such was using someone else’s taste buds.

Jude went on to clarify that she was talking about her power, the power Rhia now had. That made the comment about the swapping make more sense and Rhia looked at his drink. He wasn’t about to give it back to Jude though. Instead he looked back at Jude and pondered the power. A power that copies powers that always wants new things. ”I… Think I can feel what you mean.” The sensations he had from other people in the venue. The power indicating who among them were mutants. It was odd.

”I have had my fair share of powers. Not as many as you might think. I haven’t swapped with many people who had powers. Mostly it is just with people who want me to go to the gym for them.” Rhia shrugged. It was a nice way to make some extra cash. ”Good money… But sometimes I swap back to find myself in… Interesting places…” And sometimes in interesting clothes. Some people were just perverts. ”They break the rules... I take more money from them and nix them as a client.” Rhia took a self satisfied sip of his drink.

”What fun powers have you…” Rhia stopped. Zaid had returned and Rhia smiled at Jude before turning to face Zaid. Rhia had planned to try and mess with Zaid… but Zaid went straight in with a question Rhia didn’t know. Well he knew something about it. ”She… Tastes lies…?” His voice went up at the end as he questioned his answer. Not the best way to play at being Jude. Oh well. The fact that there was the muted Texas accent might also give Rhia away.

”Why do you ask, my little bunnyman?” Rhia put his arms around Zaid. Man snug the bun!

---

Ranger kept trying her best. This was clearly too much of a bad sight for Zaid. He grabbed her hand and stopped her. Jude’s boyfriend was going to think Noel couldn’t manage makeup... Ranger was not doing Noel any favors. She would have to apologize later. At that point though, she did as Zaid said and stood there… Not applying lipstick. ”Uh… Okay.”

Zaid ran off to a table. Ranger stood there with lipstick in hand. Zaid came back with a wet napkin. Zaid must be planning to help Ranger fix the mess she made trying to fix her makeup in the first place. Which was incredibly nice. Ranger followed Zaid’s instructions and looked at him. Which was a mistake.

Ranger met Zaid’s eyes… And her eyes began bouncing. They moved in a nystagmus and her vision condensed to a tunnel. She had been thinking about needing to forget about drinking. She knew she was getting drunk and alcohol didn’t seem to want to help out enough with the lie tasting. When the moment ended, Ranger blinked and looked away from Zaid. She immediately knew what she had just done but didn’t know what she had made them forget.

Ranger looked anywhere but Zaid’s face as he spoke. Noel was on his way. Ranger took the wet napkin and said, ”I… Uh, sure… ... Why d’ y’ think… He’d know?” It was already too late. Zaid had used the pause to scamper off as Noel approached.

Noel, who was bringing a drink. Ranger had been thinking about a drink. She knew she shouldn't have more… but even if it didn't help much with the tasting it gave her a better taste at least after.

"Howdy." Ranger said to Noel, Reaching out to take the glass away from him. She was juggling wet cloth, lipstick, phone, and glass. Mostly free kept it all in one hand and the glass in the other. ”What, ‘re y’ here t’ join me?” Ranger waggled her eyebrows at Noel and moved the glass toward her face. She pressed the middle of the glass into her mouth for a moment before realizing she wasn’t sure what she was doing. She tried pressing it into her mouth again like food. That didn’t work. ”I… Um… Don’t remember how t’ use this.” She said before leaning her head down and trying to put her mouth around the whole top of the glass.

Jude watched his body take Rhia’s drink from her hand and… well, this was all quite strange. She felt a low flush and ease, but not at all drunk. And Rhia in his body was now underage drinking. She just had to do a better job explaining.

Rhia seemed to have found a commercial use for her powers. Made sense. Everybody had to eat.

”All the fun, no DOMs. Nice.” And from her vantage point, Jude was able to see Zaid wandering up with juice in hand. Only, he didn’t seem to be able to use it.

> "Hey, Jude, what are Boots powers again?"

She opened her mouth to reply and Rhia cut her off. Because Rhia was Jude only without any of the Jude knowledge.

”Rhia.” Rhia’s body chided Jude’s body for hugging her man. Not at all willing to play along. ”We swapped, Zaid. And don’t worry about it. That’ll just be temporary.” The Noel power. And the swap, honestly.

---

Noel grabbed a drink as he passed through the melee, having a feeling that he’d need it to deal with what was on the other side. He ducked pats, glad handled a few handshakes, before he turned the corner to the bathroom hallway. He didn’t want to be proved right, but there had obviously been an attempt. Michael had tried.

Zaid, the bunboy, was there and Noel considered warning him off, but maybe by bunny instinct he knew that sticking around was not in his best favor. He abandoned her and only then did Noel see her in her full messy “Leave Brittney Alone” makeup glory. He nabbed the damp towel from her hand and replaced it with his drink, not that it helped the juggling act much. An attempt to remove some of the lips had happened. It definitely needed to continue happening. Michael picked up where Zaid had left off.

> “Howdy.”

”Oh honey. Bless your heart.” That was Texan for “you look awful.”

He glanced over his shoulder back at the group and decided that it was best to steer her further away from everything. A firm, abrasive swipe was all that was needed to clear the lipstick off fully under normal circumstances. This being the clownpocalypse, it was going to take a few more than that.

Miachel asked with eyebrows waggling if he was here to join her.

”As if I’d leave y’ alone in the state y’r in.” Her lips were mostly clear now, and Noel took a moment to refold the napkin in order to get some clean cloth to continue the facial reconstruction. Only, the glass wasn’t working for Miachel. ”Ho boy. I think you’ve had more than enough, Noel.”

He used his thumbs to guide her eyelids shut before taking a swipe at cleaning them up, indicating that she should look up afterwards so he could get under her eyes. Ugh. She looked terrible.

“What’s this?” Noel let his head fall forward for a moment, utterly defeated by the sheer number of people he’d had to ward off already. Okay. One more, sure. He could do it.

”’S called social groomin’, Jimbo. Y’see it creates an emotional and animal bond. I don’ care for the lice, but they’re a good source o’ protein.”