It wasn’t every day that someone told Shin that someone told someone that someone said somebody’s friend’s friend said, someone said, that someone wanted an X-man trainee mission. Okay. It wasn’t that day, either. But it sure felt like it was, after the mansion student with the lilting valley girl accent had finished filling him in on how someone had, like totally said, that their best friend’s girlfriend’s best buddy Luke wanted to get some action. Like, some x-man mission action? Don’t be gross! Like, Gag me with a spoon!

For the moment, Shin had compartmentalized the incredibly dated comments and ancient accent from the 90s. He’d set it aside as unimportant, even if it was a little strange a west coast accent had made its way all the way through time and space, onto the east coast and into his ears. He’d scratched his ear and told the student she probably shouldn’t talk about other students wanting action, even if it was mission action. Phrasing and all that Jazz. Someone might misunderstand her meaning.

She had said “Chah!”

He’d taken that to mean “I agree with you,” and nodded his head.

Shin had told her she also could have summarized that whole game of telephone as “I heard Luke wanted to go on an x man mission.”

She’d told him that was what she’d said.

After he’d finished sighing heavily, Shin had thanked her and mentally penciled talking to Luke in for later.

—Later—

There was a rap, rap, rapping on Luke’s chamber door. It was just after 10:00AM on a Saturday, and Shin hoped the wolf man had nothing better to do. Because he was being surprised with a mission. Unless he was out somewhere, due to having a life. In which case Shin could always come back later, as he seemed to lack one of those.

”Hey Luke! Mission time! Game face, on!” He called through the closed door. ”I know we haven’t met, or, like, done a mission together before, but that just means you are overdue!” Gods, he hoped the valley girl accent hadn’t rubbed off on him.

Technically Luke was present, but he wasn't all 'there' so to speak; he had only been awake for about 20 minutes and had just flopped down on his desk, squinting at the still-strong sunlight making it hard to read his emails. Shin was lucky, if anything; Luke would have slept in a lot more if he could have, but he'd been kind of restless and unable to lay still so he'd gotten up, still a bit tired.

Though he heard the teacher's approach down the hall, he was surprised that he'd knocked on Luke's door. "One sec." Luke stood and opened the door, a little confused by the sudden offer. It wasn't that it made no sense; he'd definitely mentioned once or twice that he was hoping to do more hands-on mission training. He wanted to do his part, and the sooner he was ready the better. He didn't like the idea of people around him rushing into a dangerous situation and him waiting for them to maybe not come back. That sounded awful.

He hadn't mentioned it to any faculty though. Either someone had brought it up--he had no idea who--or mind-reading of him or someone he'd talked to was involved. Luke...definitely preferred the former, and he was pretty sure the staff weren't gonna do that kind of thing just for the heck of it. And course it could just be completely unrelated and he got pulled out of a hat. It wasn't worth worrying about.

Opening the door brought Luke face to face--well, metaphorically, he had a whole foot on Shin--with the math teacher. To be fair he was also on the team, to some extent, and from what Luke had seen of his powers, he had some really cool stuff going for him. He was also kind of a dork, but in a good way, and Luke was also kind of a dork, so he enjoyed the off reference in class that other people didn't catch. It helped Luke was decent at math himself.

"Okay, I'm..." He'd at least gotten dressed in like, actual clothes, but being ready to like, get breakfast was not quite the same as being ready for combat. Then again, if it was at all important he didn't want to try to hold them up. "Yeah, let me get my uniform. Where to?"

As he finished his last sentence, he started letting the door close slightly, stepping back so he could go grab his gear once Shin had answered.

”No need for a costume,” Shin cut in, with a wave and a smile. His foot slid into the doorway to catch the door before it swung shut.

He himself wasn’t wearing an x man uniform. He was wearing blue jeans and an unzipped green and black track jacket over a white and purple porygon Pokemon t-shirt that said “I choose you, harglefarglebzzt.” It was fan-made, with a lot of yellow and red splotches to simulate the famous flashes from that episode that had given all the kids in Japan seizures. The Pokémon porygon, the polygon Pokemon, was sailing across the field of white and seizure-inducing red and yellow chaos, cute as the day is long.

He gestured down at himself. ”We are going incognito. Though you can pin one of these to your shirt.”

Shin dug his hand into a pocket and came up with two X-man badges. They were red with a black X across the center. He pinned one to his jacket, and offered the other to the wolf man with an amused smile.

”I’m really hoping we won’t need to fight. But wearing one of these will let people know we’re there to help, if it comes down to that.” He said. Vaguely.

"Oh, okay then." Luke opened the door, double-checking his pockets that he had his phone and wallet on him, then stepped out and accepted the badge. He was wearing a loose red t-shirt and jeans, so he was about as incognito as he got. It wasn't exactly easy for him to blend in though. Hopefully if he was being singled out it wouldn't require being completely inconspicuous. That would be some bad decision-making.

He did appreciate Shin's shirt reference, though. That made him smile. He pinned the badge onto his shirt, center-left of his sternum. Pausing for a moment to admire the insignia, Luke scuffed his left shoe on the ground. "So what's the situation?"

Hopefully no fighting was a good sign? He wasn't sure what else he might get pulled into though. His mutation wasn't so great at non-physical stuff. Search-and-rescue maybe? That he could do.

”If I were lame, I’d draw it out and not tell you until we were there. Just leave you guessing.” Shin said. He started down the hall, and gestured at Luke to follow. He kept talking as he walked.

”Central Park has a blight on it. A plague,” He said. His mind focused on image. ”Its up to us to help.”

They rounded a corner, headed towards the entrance of the mansion. Down a flight of stairs. Then they detoured, towards staff offices.

"A plague?"

Well, that sounded pretty bad. Luke scratched the back his head, not sure how to take that. He turned it around in his head for a moment. He figured it wasn't literally, like, a disease outbreak, since that was definitely outside his expected skillset.

Plague like, rats, rat attack? But a blight was for plants. The latter was kind of weird for him as well, unless it was time for some gardening. He wasn't exactly a botany expert, but he could probably dig pretty well. It could be frogs. Locusts? Locusts would make sense for a plague and a plant-destroying thing. What was he supposed to do with locusts, though? Also, if a huge swarm of vermin was the problem, wouldn't this be a bigger issue than just two people?

Okay, he was overthinking it. The anticipation quickly outpaced Luke's slightly sheepish concern he was just dumb, so he asked, "What kind of plague?"

They stopped outside an office. The plate on the door said Tetsuya Shinbo. Momentarily ignoring Luke’s question, shin bent to unlock the door. Then he stepped inside. He was in the room for only a second. There was rustling and crunching. When he came out, he had an orange box under one arm and two silver... things... in each hand.

The Asian held one of the silver things out towards Luke proudly.

”Littering.” He announced, like a show man. ”Only you can save the environment, young Planeteer. The power is yours!”

It was a silvery rod several feet long, with a telescoping body, left unfurled. At its tip, there was the three-pronged point of a trident. He thrust the pronged silver trident into the wolf man’s hands.

”It’s a trash lance,” he beamed. ”For all your trash lancing needs. Sorry I couldn’t rustle up an iron giant or a kaijuu on such short notice. It isn’t like Godzillas grow on trees.”

Upon closer inspection, one would find the orange and black box under the Asian man’s arm was a box of hefty trash bags. Big ones, for large scale yard work or contracting. Ones that could hold a lot of trash.

Oh, well.

Well it wasn't fighting a movie monster or anything, but it was still something helpful and productive and important too. And it was pretty nice outside, and Luke appreciated the fresh air. And he didn't get punched or shot at! This was fine.

Luke shrugged and smiled, taking a look at the trash lance. "This won't be too bad, then. Not as rough as getting bashed by robots, I bet."


He twirled the pole on his fingers like a baton. "So, to the park?" Luke caught the pole, lance-y point down, then looked back to Shin, shuffling slightly in place.

“Speaking from personal experience,” Shin noted. “Trash pick up duty is far preferable to getting bashed by robots. And way better for our public image, too!”

The Asian grabbed his own pole, nodded, and locked up his office on the way out. They stopped by the front lawn, on a footpath. Shin snapped.

A red and black motorcycle with a side car appeared, as if by magic. Magic, if pressed, would have been the Asian’s inspiration for the vehicle. Or rather, some movie about magic. But that didn’t stop the motorcycle from being practical as any other mode of transportation... and more practical than some of his shard creations. ((I’m looking at you, Porygon.))

Shin motioned for Luke to hop into the side car of the motorcycle, and stowed the bags and the trash lances in a container built into the back of the vehicle. The whole thing had been plotted out in graphs and charts, to maximize carrying potential as well as comfort, accounting for every practically. Even large wolf men. It would have taken several minutes to form the entire construct, if Shin hadn’t started prep work long before they’d reached the front path.

Once everyone was boarded and comfortable, the motorcycle took to the skies. It was a flying motorcycle. It even got good gas mileage. A short drive later, as the crow flies, they arrived in Central Park.

They touched down in an area with benches and plenty of footpaths for pedestrians. They were a few chess boards, and a lot of foot traffic from joggers, children playing on skates and skateboards, and anything else you could imagine. In short, it was Central Park. And it was also a whole lot less clean than it should have been. Some people have no respect for a beautiful place people can play and communities, gather.

Shin stepped free of the motorcycle , gathered their things, and made it vanish once Luke was clear. He passed Luke the trash lance and a black plastic bag the size of a large dog. Then, he nodded at the nearest discarded bit of detritus. A paper soda cup and a scattering of torn up brown paper napkins. He didn’t say it, but the message was clear. ‘Get to work.’

The Asian moved forward and started gathering his own spear full of litter.

Luke nodded and gave a fairly convincing grin. Yeah, sure, no fighting or dramatic heroism. But he'd probably have just lazed around all day otherwise. And there were lots of worse things he could do for community service.

Luke whistled appreciatively as Shin summoned a motorcycle. He wasn't sure exactly how he made such an elaborate construct thing so quickly, but it was cool. There was plenty of room, too, which was a pleasant surprise; Luke was having to get used to things not made for people with his size, especially since he still seemed to be growing. Somehow.

On the other hand, something he wasn't used to at all? Flying motorcycles. Luke didn't normally mind heights that much, but it took him a minute to regain his bearings when he was suddenly soaring off into the sky. Admittedly it was pretty cool seeing the small chunk of city they went over from above, but by the time he was really taking it in they were landing. He couldn't complain though.

Once his feet were on the ground, Luke smiled at the greener environment and breathed in deeply. The mansion wasn't so bad about it but the rest of the city was pretty rough on his sensitive nose, and having lots of plants around was a more comfortable.

There were lots of people around, and a few (mostly kids) were definitely staring at the arrival of a slight man and a big wolfman in a flying motorcycle. Luke didn't really blame them, honestly, and he was pretty used to drawing gazes. He just didn't let it bother him.

"Okay, then." Luke said as he took the tools and started wandering around. He figured it would be pretty easy to make his way in one direction and get everything he saw along the way. He started off in the opposite direction Shin was facing, jabbing at plastic bottles and cans as he slowly walked down the path.

They worked like that in silence for about a quarter of an hour. Jab, stab, bag. It was an easy routine. Up until the first paper airplane reared its ugly, pointy head.

The airplane seemed innocuous, at first blush. Just a folded paper construct drifting lazily through the chilly afternoon air space of the park. It was an entirely average paper airplane, constructed from unlined white printer paper. Unadorned, and uninteresting. Why would anyone have thought anything special about a random paper airplane? Some kid had obviously just been having fun.

A man in a black hoodie with a grayscale picture of a UFO and the words “I want to believe” looked up at the flying object, briefly identified it as a paper airplane, and moved on. No big. Then, the paper airplane dive-bombed his head.

The man screamed, and dove for cover behind the nearest tree. The airplane bent it’s ailerons, adjusted itself, and flew after him in an impressive feat of course adjustment on the go.

An elderly man shuffled a walker down a paved footpath, minding his own business. The second paper airplane crashed into the back of his jacket. It crumpled. He glanced over one shoulder. “Huh?” There was a fluttering sound in the air nearby. He looked up... into the aerial armada overhead.

There had to be at least twenty paper airplanes. Unlike the first few, the large group had more variety. B2 bombers flew next to papercraft UFOs and ww1 biplanes. B-wings and X-wings, and even a trio of TIES. Whoever the designer of the fleet had been, they had been nerdy. Their flavor of fetish hadn’t been limited to old war footage and STAR WARS fighters, either. Trek mingled with Firefly and other series. Hell, there was even an improbable rectangular box made from dark blue construction paper. Just because it lacked wings, that apparently didn’t mean it couldn’t fly.

The whole fleet made no noise to draw anyone’s attentions, other than the light fluttering of paper. All the same, the audible gasps of amusement and amazement from the people in the park that happened to look up destroyed any element of stealth it had managed within the first minute.

Shin shielded his eyes from the sun as he glanced up towards the sky, trying to see what it was some skateboarding child had stopped to take a selfie with.

”Huh. Don’t see that every day.” Shin said. His trash lance was buried in the ground by his feet.

Man, reality couldn't make up its mind today.

Luke was getting into the flow of things. It didn't take long, really; he kind of wished he'd brought earbuds with his phone, but it was nice and peaceful, and the monotony was kind of relaxing. He wouldn't have mined sticking at it for longer, honestly.

When the sound of paper got loud enough to draw his notice, Luke found himself staring up at a very large collection of origami aircraft. He definitely recognized a few of them from a variety of shows and movies. He raised his brow, not sure what to make of this.

It was kind of cool, honestly--someone had put a lot of love into these things--but then they started flying at people. That was less cool. "No, definitely not." Luke had almost wanted to accuse Shin of this, some kind of elaborate prank or something, but he doubted that he'd send things divebombing random passersby.

One of the X-Wings shot down at Luke at unexpectedly high speed. He reflexively tried to snatch it out of the air, but it was way more maneuverable than expected. He almost scraped it with his claws, but it darted over his hand and past his head. Anticipating another flyby, Luke turned to watch it.

...But it kept going, making a lazy loop and returning in the direction it came from. There was a mild thud to the back of his head, followed by two more unpleasant jabs to his back as a flying saucer and a pair of B-wings smacked into him from behind. Luke whipped around, but again the planes were able to gain altitude quickly enough that he couldn't quite grab them.

"Hey, come on." He wasn't sure how indignant he was, but it was real rude to just crash stuff into people. "Stop that." Luke, directing his complaints upward at the fleet, realized that the planes probably weren't actually listening. A mutant was messing with them, which was problematic for a couple of reasons. At least it wasn't the worst way to 'attack' them. Still no giant robot.

As if on cue, the moment he thought 'well this isn't so bad' the fleet dropped from the sky, sending the onlookers scattering as they dove onto people. Some with funky shapes got tangled in people's hair and started pulling it in all directions, others bounced off of glasses, knocked things from hands, and orbiting people who tried futilely to swat them away.

Luke looked over at Shin, now a good bit more alarmed by the sudden paper aggression. "This seems not so great." He didn't want to freak out or anything--it was just paper--but it was pretty malicious, and he was getting put on-edge by the swarms of airborne nuisances, which seemed to somehow be growing.

A TIE Fighter whacked him in the side of the head, jarring but not too painful, before firmly settling itself lodged on top his his ear, the two panels seeming to bend to hook onto him like a pincer. "Hey, stop that!" Luke snapped at nobody in particular as the plane started pulling on his head with surprising force, painfully yanking his ear in sudden jolts.

It was with more than a little aggression that he grabbed the thing, crushing in his hand before ripping it apart with his claws. "Seriously?!" This had very quickly gone from kind of quirky and harmless to a real pain in the ass.

‘Paper cuts are painful...’ was the first thought to wander aimlessly in the Asians mind. The second one was ‘Luke sure is getting hit by a lot of paper airplanes ‘, quickly followed by ‘maybe I should help him.’ But then, he suddenly had problems of his own to deal with.

Airplanes rained panic and death. Okay, there was no death. That had just sounded incredibly interesting. But they did rain mild inconveniences. Many a coffee was lost to the lawn, and one person lost their grip on a golden retrievers doggy leash. The dog ran off to jump at the flying papercraft, trying to snag them with paw or jaw. It reminded him of Luke.

He heard Luke say something.

”You’re doing great!” Shin shouted at him, not checking to see the validity of the statement. His eyes were focused on the chaos. ”Keep it up!”

A paper creation shaped like a large moon crashed though the air towards him. Tetsuya Shinbo punched it in its “face.” The “Death Star” exploded. He retroactively gave it the name, only after he’d destroyed it completely.

Tetsuya Shinbo, aka Shard, focused on a mental image. Ten heartbeats. Or seconds. What ever. That’s what it took to drum up the construct. A silvery katana appeared in his hand.

‘Bring on the paper Death Stars,’ Tetsuya thought boldly. Then, he started slashing paper airplanes and Star destroyers apart with a shout of “ike!” Like ee kay. Japanese for something like GO!

After a few moments of dispatching paper airplanes, shin wondered something out loud.

”Who is controlling these things?” He said.

—

Somewhere on the battlefield a person was watching his lovely things get shredded. With jaw clenched, not enjoying it. Also, he was contemplating Voltron for some reason.

“Dance my pretties, dance...” this blonde man muttered. He looked like a rough-hewn surfer dude with a shaggy mop of wheat colored hair and a jaw like granite. And he was wearing a pair of brown cargo pants and a shirt so loud someone, somewhere had called the cops on it for violating noise ordinances.

Luke wasn't sure he was doing 'great', but he appreciated the encouragement a least. Most of these were just bouncing off of him, but more and more seemed to home in on his face, nose and ears, which were his 'weak points' in that they actually kind of hurt.

Shin summoned up a katana, which seemed a bit much, but the more he looked it seemed to Luke like the swarm, which seemed to be shrinking but was still pretty sizable, had mostly concentrated on the two X-Men, with a stray swooping at anyone still hanging around.

It wasn't as easy for Luke to get one, but if he caught one with his claws it was easy to rip into, being paper, so after a while his swipes plus Shin's swordplay were leaving a pile of paper corpses around them.

"I dunno, but someone." The fluttering of paper was getting in his way, making it hard to hear or see outside the cloud. "Let's split up-ow!" One jabbed him in the nostril, and he angrily crushed it. "We split up the cloud, divide their focus?"

Another spherical one bonked off his forehead, annoying but harmless. Luke was at least pretty sure this wasn't an attempt on their lives, at least, but it was pretty rude and definitely criminal mischief, at least. He started moving away from Shin, arms raised over his head and swatting away the flyers that followed him.

A few yards off, there was a guy off by the edge of the part, next to the road, who was glaring at him with the kind of look that told Luke 'i'm using my powers in some manner that requires focus'. Just a hunch. Luke tried not to look at him too obviously, but after another few spiky things bounced off his head, he decided, 'screw it', and went for it.

Unfortunately, his sudden attempt to lunge at the guy was interrupted when he crashed into a wall. Literally; in trying to close the twenty or so yards, Luke found that the entire cloud of planes had amassed into a makeshift wall about five feet in diameter. It was unexpected and much more resilient than it looked, and Luke basically bounced off and landed on his butt.

"Agh!" Luke grunted. He immediately tried to get to his feet, but before he could, the surviving paper planes redoubled their assault on him, forcing him to cover his head as they swarmed him on the ground. "Shin, over he-ghlr!"

Luke gagged as one flew into his mouth and jabbed the back of his throat. He bit down instinctively, ripping the plane out and trying to spit the rest of the paper out of him mouth without exposing himself more. Not easy.

For some, ADHD brain is a distraction. For people like Shin, it was a well-honed Battle Sense(tm). He noted Luke’s divided attention, during a gap in his paper airplane assault.

Luke had wanted them to split up. Shin had sent his katana off to fight paper airplanes on its own for a moment. Focused on his wedding ring, and shot it through some planes like a silver bullet while the katana spun in a whirlwind of paper shredding calamity not too far away. He drew it back to him as Luke charged something, and ran into difficulties.

Yomiko Readman would have been proud of the paper wall that had sprung up. Shin clamped down on the incredibly dated anime references, as he watched Luke flail under pressure. A swarm of airplanes chose that second as a prime opportunity to try and fly up his backside.

Shin leaped about a foot off the ground as paper airplanes tried to goose him. Turning, he slashed so wildly he nearly shaved his ass. He cleaved a ship from Galaga, and one from Gradius, felt like the bad guy in a retro spaceship shooter, then took out a group of fighter jets flying in a sharp V.

The guy controlling the papercraft must’ve gotten a great deal on paper. And so many colors, too. The thought went through his mind, and out the other side as he raced towards Luke.

Without a word, the Asian turned his blade into a fly swatter and went at the swarm like... well, a swarm. Whacking at it with a katana just wouldn’t do. Too easy to hit Luke in the confusion. The shards had slid from one shape to another with practiced smoothness.

A small smile tugged at one corner of the Asian’s mouth as he remembered a scene from a cartoon he’d drawn inspiration from for the fly swatter move.

”Spirit fly swatter...” He said. Or had it been a tennis racket? God, he was old.

—

The surfer dudes eyes narrowed.

“Death by a thousand cuts...” he muttered. “For now, at least. Soon...” The trailing comment was a promise, like the foreshadowing in a book is a promise of things to come.

The brown canvas bag at his feet shifted in anticipation.

Across the park, the paper went wild. It surged around them, trying to cut them. Cut their finger tips, cut their hands, cut their faces, cut anything they could.

Shard fought hard to smash them to crumpled balls. Fought to protect the X trainee.

Who would have thought a simple trip to the park to pick up litter would have escalated into a fight for survival?