There was an emotion that Astrid couldn’t say that she’d felt… well, ever. Guilt wasn’t really something that crossed her mind very often, and it certainly didn’t boil and bubble in her stomach like it was doing right then. She felt like her digestive system was doing backflips as she looked at Alice.

Here was this girl; so good and perfect, and there was Astrid, marred by her mistakes and choices. She shouldn’t have been sitting on that blanket, eating that lovely french food, talking to a lovely girl. She didn’t deserve it. Of all the things that she’d done in her life that were only now starting to cause her anguish, that one made her feel the worst.

How could she just sit there and let this girl talk about hope and good things when Astrid was none of those? So, she’d admitted that she was dangerous. She needed to deal with whatever fallout that caused. If Alice hated her, then so be it. Maybe it would make that awful feeling go away.

Instead of running for cover, though, Alice began to talk about big ideas and how mutants were all seen as dangerous. Astrid simply hung her head and let the words go in one ear and out the other. She didn’t understand. How could she understand? She wasn’t part of Astrid’s world. They were miles apart; why couldn’t she see it before? Alice was far too good for her. Astrid needed to make her see that.

The winged teen had become good at seeing what her public persona was like on the internet. With a deep sigh, she motioned to Alice’s phone and mimicked a typing action. ”Valkyrie, New York,” she told her. It would pull up results of articles written about Astrid’s various escapades around New York City. She had no doubt that that would get her point across to Alice.

While she let that sink it, Astrid gathered herself up and stood up from the picnic blanket. She couldn’t think of much good coming from her staying there, so she turned to leave.

Alice wasn't an outdoor person. At all. But this was nice, reclining on a blanket with a pretty girl on a nice day just relaxing. Maybe the outside world didn't suck quite so much. At least when taken in small doses with plenty of gaming in between. 

Raising an eyebrow at the sudden statement from Astrid, she raised the phone and quickly typed out the words. The results, well they were more than mildly disturbing. Article after article detailing the winged girls activities around the city. Statements form victims, descriptions from people left scared or family members without a loved one. It was, horrific. Who the hell was this girl? Why, why had she done this!?

Worse it started to but some things in perspective. The looks in the bar, the fear in the bouncers eyes. It wasn't anything to do with prejudiced, nothing to do with anti-mutant sentiments. They'd been terrified of the french girl. Her too probably, since she'd been with the angelic looking teen. What had she done, to make them that afraid to even be in the same room as her? What damage had those crystal wings caused. Oh god how close had she been to getting hurt?

Breathing hard, Alice could barely look at the person with her. She was literally everything that the Brit was afraid of. A mutant, who didn't just abuse their power but apparently reveled in it. A person who took their mutation and used it to hurt others. To kill.

Forcing her eyes up, tears coming unbidden she managed to choke out a single word. "Why?" Why do this? Why lie until now, why suddenly tell her the truth?

Gathering up the various plates and cups she'd brought with her and packing them away, the idea of taking the leftover food with her left a sick feeling in her stomach. "Just, keep whatever you want. Eat it, throw it away, I don't care." Turning to leave and wiping the tears away she took one last look at the girl.

The choice had been for the best. Alice was too good for her, and she needed to see that. The longer things went, the harder they would be, and Alice would hurt more if she heard it somewhere else. Even if she wasn’t intentionally lying, there was only so long she could stay in the dark, and from the way that she acted, it was going to be a big shock for her.

Astrid wasn’t wrong.

She had turned her back to the girl, so she could only hear the word that came from her lips. Why? Why indeed. She couldn’t give an exact answer for that or trace back in her life exactly when she decided that this was the best path for her. Nor could she tell her why she didn’t just tell her right off the bat. There had been one person that she hadn’t wanted to hurt, and that was exactly what she had done.

The teen drooped her head backward and let her dark hair fall between her shoulderblades while she thought through the question. She had no answers for her, so she remained silent.

Astrid turned back to look at the blue-haired girl when she heard Alice speak again. She didn’t want anything to do with her or their date. It hurt, but she understood. No one really wanted anything to do with her. No one that didn’t have some use for her, anyway. No matter what, she ended up out on her own with no one to blame but herself. It was a vicious cycle of violence that only begot loneliness.

”I am sorry,” she whispered dumbly, as if that could have any impact on the girl after what she’d just shown her. She wasn’t sorry for what she’d done, because she’d needed to do that, but she was sorry that it had hurt Alice. She was sorry that she couldn’t have been good enough for her.