Recent Posts

Kendra stared at him for a long moment. The cigarette between her fingers dropped to her side and hung there. Her mouth was a twisted expression of bottled up emotion. Her eyes softened and her tough girl, the world hasn't changed me attitude; faded away. Kendra was afraid. She was afraid to face everything she was feeling. She would much rather turn away from the pain and sweep it neatly under the rug.

He seemed intent on getting her to admit that she was struggling. It wasn't easy for her, to show weakness. Weakness is what she hated. She had her quirks sure, but she had never seen herself as a weak person. Shy, and timid, a bit out of her element when it came to navigating social conventions....

Those were her flaws, but not weakness. She saw herself as strong. She was strong enough to weather the storm of her father's life time of abuse. She was strong enough to forge ahead in the world without the guidance of a sweet and loving mother, or a family for that matter. She was strong enough to push past the heartache of rejection from the first girl she ever admitted that she loved.... Libby. She thought quietly as the tears welled in her eyes.

Deep pools of brown began to shimmer. Her hand absentmindedly and without realizing reached over and put the cigarette out in an ash try. Kendra was trying to keep the damn from flooding. She didn't want to break down, not in front of someone she looked up to. Artair was courageous and brave, caring in his own way. 

Kendra had come to admire his stance on being a model of what a mutant should be within the community. A pillar of strength and conservation. She was the complete opposite, she was brash and show boaty. She was immature and stubborn. She helped the mutant cause in her own small way, with her magainze, but she wasn't the model of citizenship.

Is this what he wanted? To see me break down and wither? To crumple under the stress of what I've been through and not be able to stand on my own two feet? She thought. The thought of even asking for help seemed like bitter poison in the back of her mouth. She was prideful, and stupid. She didn't like to admit that the world could break her. She had fought her entire life to be independent and that was the one thing that no one could take from her until now.

Kendra leaned forward and buried her face in her hands and began to sob. Her face turned red with embarrassment. Her shoulders lurched with every sob, and she just wanted to shrink away and disappear. What would the viewers of her blog think to see her this pathetic way.

 The truth was she was sinking. Everything she tried to accomplish lately seemed to backfire. She tried to help; tried to take a bigger role in making a difference in the world. It was ill advice. She wasn't cut out for hero'ing. Kendra was just a simple girl from Georgia in over her head. She nearly broke her ribs her first night as a vigilante. She had gotten herself shot on another excursion. For what? For someone she looked up to judge her, to think of her as a child.  That only made her sob harder. The way she saw herself, the way others saw her.... That mattered to her. Though she wasn't likely to admit it.

Kendra felt as if cosmic justice put it's boot on the back of her head and pushed her below the surface. She could feel her lungs slowly filling up with water as she struggled for breathe. She felt like she was falling apart on the inside, and through this meeting. This whole time she had ben trying to keep a brave face for Artair. To show him that she could be strong like him, but the mask was so heavy. It slipped when her grip weakened. All it took was a few stern words and some steady disappointment. Kendra was ashamed at how easily she was broken. She felt cheated, she felt small. She didn't want to ask for help. Deep down, she knew she needed it. 

Kendra continued to sob uncontrollably.  For the first time in her life she actually found herself wishing she was invisible. The one time she needed it, she couldn't turn it on. Kendra was just looking for herself, trying to carve out her identity.  She was trying to figure out how she fit into this new world she found herself thrust into. A world where mutants helped people and didn't have to hide who they were. It was exciting and scary and confusing and strange. She didn't know if she belonged in this world. Her thoughts took a turn for the morbid as she wondered if she belonged in this world at all.

Kendra had the perfect lighting. The sun was high in the sky. Kendra directed Derek where she wanted him to stand. "Let's start off wit'a few just regular shots of ya." Kendra said taking a few photos of him just standing in the woods with his arms crossed.  It was probably going to be a 2 to three page article. She would have to ask him for something that seemed like an interview later. Myabe find out more about his life and his powers in detail.

Kendra kept snapping a few more photos. It didn't matter if they were good or not. She snapped them quick and got as many as she could and she would choose through them later. It was her process. She never looked at photos until later that night.  She liked to discover the magic and pick out the diamonds in the rough.  When she photographed she liked to be in the moment and not get bogged down or discouraged by bad photos.

"Alright move over in front of that tree and umm... Well call some animals or somethang." She said cheerfuly. She watched as some birds came to rest on hi shoulders.  She blinked a few times.  He acted like that was a totally normal thing.  She took a few more photos.  He reminded her of a Disney princess in a way.  All that was missing was a beautiful lyrical song. 

Kendra smiled over her camera and lowered it.  "Thank we could get a few more? Maybe something a bit bigger to really pop in the photo? Can you like sense animals that are near by? It'd be crazy if we could get a bear in here or something.  Guess'n there's not to many bears running round New York though.  Surprise me!"  Kendra said laughing at little.  She was having fun.  It was nice to be in her element with a camera in her hand.  She loved taking pictures.  Her life was normally so filled with stress and anxiety it was nice to disconnect from the stress and just focus on capturing an honest moment in a single second that would stand still forever to be immortalized.

Kendra watched as she scribbled a little number on her notepad. The act seemed so cool and deliberate that Kendra started to blush for a moment. The blood rushed to her pale cheeks and she struggled hard to keep the smile off her face.  Well... Looks like someone's a fan of trouble. Kendra thought with a bit of cockiness to her otherwise shy demeanor. 

Then Becca said that if she ever wanted to train again to give her a call. The smile disappeared instantly. It was replaced with a stunned stupid look. Oh jeez and I thought.... Kendra was blushing again. Still, a tiny smile resurfaced. She liked Becca, she honestly did. She had turned out to be a lot more interesting then Kendra had originally thought. She wasn't sure what had possessed her to follow the woman down the hallway and into the danger room, but she's glad she did.

Becca gave her a bit of advice about being dangerous and reckless. Kendra had to fight the urge to roll her eyes. She had heard this speech a bunch of times already from Emily. Honestly she could recite it back to her word for word at this point. Still it came from a good place, much like this advice did. Becca was worried about her, as a friend. Kendra didn't have a great many friends here yet in the mansion. She knew that her and Becca would become good friends. "Ok." was all she managed to squeak out.

Kendra crossed the room over to the desk. She had to make a conscious effort not to let her legs give out from under hear as she took brisk purposeful strides. She wanted to seem as cool and collected as Becca. Inside she was trying not to crumble. Kendra looked at the note a moment. She then looked back at Becca. "I will, just'a no more dragons? Please?" Kendra smiled a bit, but she was kinda serious about it too.

She knew the girl would be exhausted. She hadn't been sleeping all night like Kendra. Though, Kendra was quite exhausted herself. Kendra hugged the woman lightly again and for the briefest of moments enjoyed the smell of her hair that had brushed up against her nose. Kendra's nose itched a bit and she wiggled her nose while embraced in the hug. The way a rabbit might twitch it's nose. Kendra stepped back and smiled again. "Go get'chu some sleep. You earned some winks." Kendra said. Honestly she was ready to crash herself. Sleeping all night had done nothing to rest her and her body felt like it had been in a car wreck, though she wouldn't let Becca see that.

Artair thought she needed help. Hell, maybe she did. She hadn't really processed anything. Mostly she just tried to shut the emotional pain out and just wallow in the physical pain. The pain she thought she deserved, but that wasn't healthy. It wasn't healthy for her body or her mind. Kendra had never been shot before. She was handling it the best she could. 

Kendra took another puff of her cigarette and moved back over to the couch as he said he wanted to tell her another story. Why does he want to help me so bad? She wondered. He was nice enough she supposed. He had a temper. She could attest to that. She honestly hadn't been sure if he was here to yell at her or check on her when she first came downstairs. Now it seemed more he was intent on trying to save her. From what though? Herself? Kendra had never been one for making great choices. 

She lowered herself down on the couch. The way her body twisted caused her shoulder to jostle and she winced in pain. Gritting her teeth her eyes squeezed shut instinctively. Like that would somehow lessen the pain she was in. Kendra honestly wished he would blow up on her. Just scream in her face, call her a child. She much preferred that side of him than this caring 'save you' nonsense. At least yelling she was used to.

Her mind started to wander a bit.  She didn't catch the first part of his story. She accidentally tuned it out when she thought about her father. He was a rough uncouth man with the perpetual smell of drink about him. He was never really a kind man.

 Thinking back, she couldn't remember a single happy memory shared with her father. He hated her from the day she was born. Her mother died during childbirth. If that wasn't bad enough, her father despised the fact that he lost his wife giving birth to a mutant. She knew emotional pain..... She knew plenty of physical pain too for that matter.  The abuses of a drunk hateful father.

Kendra grew up mostly making her own choices and staying out of his way as much as possible. She never had guidance in her life.  So when someone offered her advice and she turned her nose up at it, it wasn't her being bratty. It was the only thing that she knew. She thought she knew better. Then again, thinking she knew better is what got her shot.

Kendra looked up when she realized that Artair had started talking, and had been for a while. She had been staring at him the whole time her mind shut off and checked out. He probably thought she was listening intently. She felt bad that he was spending so much time trying to reach her. She wasn't sure she wanted to be reached. All my choices, all my life.... I have been alone.  What a strange feeling to suddenly have people who care. She thought quietly as she actually did begin to listen to what he was saying.

Kendra's eyes were soft and pitiful.  Docprofessor, her girlfriend Emily, now Artair.  All of them were trying to reach her, trying to change her mind about being so reckless.  It was what would eventually probably get her killed.  Somehow though, the thought of disappointing Emily was all she could think about.  She didn't care that she might've been killed.  She didn't care that she got shot and her shoulder hurt like a bugger.  All she cared about was that disappointment on Emily's face.

Kendra could listen to a thousand more lectures and not feel as bad as she did when she saw that.  Kendra cared about Emily.  Maybe more than she cared about her own safety.  Emily was the one person in her life that loved her.  Not concern, that was different.  Honest love, pure and beautiful.  Emily was disappointed because Kendra put herself in danger and she was worried not out of guilt, but love.  Kendra wondered what reasons Artair had for wanting to reach her.  He said some things that hinted at redemption or guilt, but what was the real reason he cared?  Kendra wondered as she listened to his story....

Moving through the halls with Derek Kendra was mostly quite. She just listened and smiled as he talked about good old southern home cooking. Kendra was never a fan really. She didn't get great home cooked meal growing up. Her home was broken. Her dad mostly bought what he liked and she had to make her own meals, when she could sneak into the kitchen without getting yelled at that was. Her dad was mostly a bastard, and a drunk. He blamed her for killing her mother who died in childbirth. Kendra didn't have fond memories of sitting around the dinner table like most people from the south. She couldn't wait to get away from Georgia and everything it stood for.

Kendra thought about her life before she got here. She thought about the fear, the sadness.  Kendra thought about her ex girlfriend back in Georgia. Libby was a sweet girl. Kind, compassionate; or at least she had thought she was. Kendra had no one that even cared about her until Libby had come along and Libby broke up with her when she found out she was a mutant. Kendra was crushed. It was the reason she fled Georgia to begin with. She just wanted to get as far away from all the pain as possible. What Kendra never knew was that Libby was a mutant herself. She just couldn't handle it and she pushed Kendra away when Kendra revealed herself to be a mutant.

Kendra never found out that Libby was also a mutant. Libby kept her shame a secret as she shoved Kendra out the door.  It seemed like a lifetime ago, but in the end Kendra mostly wished she could thank Libby.  Not for her cold heartless act of ditching the mutant freak.  But because her breaking up with her caused her to make the best change of her life.  She had friends now, family even.  She had a girlfriend who really cared about her in Emily and she felt for the first time like she wasn't alone.  Kendra admittedly zoned out on what Derek was talking about.  She had bad habit of getting lost in her own thoughts.

Looking Kendra just said yes to whatever Derek had said last.  She wasn't even sure what she had just agreed to, but they had walked a good bit already.  They were standing by the edge of a wooded area.  They were in a little clearing at the edge of the mansion grounds.  Kendra looked at Derek with curious eyes.  Why'd he bring me to the woods?  She wondered.  Oh hell it'll just ask she thought.  "So....  We're go'in over the river and through the woods to grandma's house then?"  She asked with a slight sarcastic tone.  She had her camera hanging from around her neck.  She didn't realize that he was bringing her to a spot where he could have access to a bunch of different animals.  The thought hadn't even dawned on her that he might be trying to show off his ability.

Kendra smiled shyly. She nodded and sort of blushed. She wasn't great at meeting people in the flesh, but she supposed it wasn't so bad. Derek seemed to be a really nice guy from what she could tell of him so far. Kendra hadn't been seen until now.

  Her astral form was invisible except for in reflections. If he had seen her, he would have seen she was wearing a light beige willowy sweater that was just a little two long on the sleeves. They engulfed her hands completely, but she loved that sweater. She was wearing a pair of jeans with rips at the thighs and a pair of heavy boots. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail.

Kendra's astral form existed exactly as her body did. If she fell asleep with her phone in her pocket, she would bring an invisible phone with her into her dream, the same was true for her clothes, her camera and anything else she fell asleep physically touching. It made those things and extension of herself as she entered astral form. That was good though. At least she wouldn't wander around in her astral form naked and barefoot avoiding any and all mirrors like the plague.

Kendra looked at Derek a moment more before she finally spoke. "Well... These papers can wait til later tonight. I'd love some fresh air if'n you don't mind taking a colleague out for a walk." She suggested. Truthfully she was feeling a little couped up in here and she would love for a chance for Derek to demonstrate his power to her.  Though she wouldn't ask outright. She didn't want him to feel like a preforming monkey doing party tricks. Kendra smiled brightly at him before she added "I'd love to stop by my room upstairs, get my camera first."

  She was hoping he said yes. Though in her head she wasn't sure if her straight forward asking of him to go for a walk was considered weird. Social cue, and socially acceptable behavior just eluded her, she always felt like an outsider looking in on something she just wasn't a part of. It was much easier to get to know someone in her astral form and then meet them afterwards.