The One Comic to Rule Them All Shop...

“Oh, woooow that’s totally him!” a ten year old gawked as he stood in the back of a comic shop, holding a bagged and boarded comic that he had just purchased. His friend next to him also gawked but quickly shook his head.

“Naw that can’t be him. Why would he work here?” he asked.

The two ten year olds stood, watching as Akshay was jabbering on his cell phone, trying to calm whoever it was that was on the other end of the line. The phone he held to his ear was screaming at him to the point that he had to wince, but he refused to hang up the line. The semi-tall, tan skinned, twenty-something grumbled as he shook his head over and over again.

Thankfully the boys were not close enough to hear his rather…inappropriate conversation…

“Ginger! No, Ginger! How was I supposed to know that your parents talking to your parents on Skype?” He said as he could feel the rolling tickle in the back of his mind. He knew what his body wanted to do but he struggled to maintain it, as well as defend his position with Ginger over the phone. “So…what? They’ve never seen a pantless Zorro before? Awww baby don’t….No!...Yes I think the birthmark is very….Hun…Sug…Ba…”

He sighed the second the phone went dead. Shaking his head he shoved the phone back into his pocket and turned back to the latest comics that he needed to place on the shelves.

As he slipped out from the counter he looked over to see the pair of ten year olds had finally decided to walk up to him, mouths a gap with wonder…

Akshay smirked.

“Sup little guys? Everything cool?”

“A-A-A-Are you….”

He craned his head down closer to see the comics that they had in hand, “Slaggathor” issues #10. Hot off the presses. He didn’t know he had such young fans…

But seeing their face he had to nod. “Yup, I wrote and drew those.”

“Coooooooooool!!” Came the chorus from both of them. He winced then as suddenly he was bombarded by a barrage of questions that ranged from ‘How he drew it’ to ‘What’s going to happen next?’. Behind his eyes he could feel the pull. Same as he usually did when he spoke too much. His…gift…wanted to activate and it took everything for him to stop…

With a grateful grin to his fans he continued his work as they followed him around and continued their questions. Gah! That’s what he gets for being successful…

Christmas shopping.

The time of the year when you realize you have more friends and realtives than you have ever thought. And you need to find a gift for all of them.

Well, in terms of friends and family, Muse was not nearly overloaded. But she did take the time to find something special for the people she treasured: Bo, Jude... and Agnes, who had been so patient with her in training with her powers. And suffered for it too.

Sveta vaguely recalled that Agnes liked comics. That was something very American. She had managed to live through the American expecience for years without actually setting foot into a comic book store... it was time she changed that. For the greater good, and the Christmas shopping.

When she walked into this one, she could see kids. Were those comics even for kids this young? Some of them must have been, otherwise they would not be following the clerk around. Sveta stood in the doorway, fuly aware that her aura will make the little ones sugar-crazy. For a moment, she even thought about leaving.

Akshay smirked and nodded and felt himself getting dizzier and dizzier! These kids, they were just chatting up a storm and would leave him alone! They went over absolutely everything in his comicbooks, everything that he had written and drew and dissected each and every single bit of it, as if testing him to see if he were actually who he claimed he was. Even though his name tag clearly said “AKSHAY” they were still grilling him. It was cute though, at least they were not so easily won over.

“And then, in issue three when Slaggathor is charing at the Orc-Man, how come she did just blast him with a fire spell like she did to the Skeleton Armadillo in issue two?”

“Yeah and in number eight, how could she couldn’t fly with the wings of the Fly-Monkey like she could in issue six? Did she lose them?”

“Yeah, and--!”

“Whoa, guys! Whooooa!” Akshay said with an exhausted sigh and a laugh. “Uh, just, you know, whenever you notice a discrepancy like that, uhhh...a wizard did it…” he said with a sly voice.

“A wizard? But—“ they started to say in unison.

“A wizard!” he quickly announced and tried to return to his work. Where the hell did kids get so much energy like that?

He shook his head as he turned towards the front of the store and spied that there was a woman there, an absolutely B-E-A-UTIFUL woman! Day-UM. Akshay would have bitten his knuckle if it were appropriate to do so in public. Adjusting his trusty nametag, after all she should know the name of her future husband, he casually began to make his way over to her.

But before he even got a few feet, he winced as the sensation he always feared flared up behind his eyes and in the back of his skull. Reaching up, he tried to rub the tension from his shoulder but found himself unable to relieve that sensation. What the hell descended on him? And why now when a goddess herself walked into his shop?

He twitched but tried to keep his composure as he walked up to her.

“Hello and welcome to One Ring to Rule Them All! How may I hel—“ he paused. Looked up above her head as the letters R-I-N-G began to form. What the…

Sveta was about to leave; but watching the guy deal with the kids was just too much fun. They seemed to know more about the comics than he did, and he was clearly overwhelmed. Sveta chuckled to herself, and watched, until he noticed her.
Even with her non-American cultural background she could guess a girl her age in a comic shop was not something they saw often around here.

>>“Hello and welcome to One Ring to Rule Them All! How may I hel—“

He stopped abruptly mid-sentence, staring. Sveta tilted her head. Maybe her coffee buzz just hit him...

"Um... hi? Nice shop..."

Dumbfoudned Akshay continued to look just slightly above the blonde’s head as the four lettered word began to material in front of it. It started with the black border and was gradually filled in with the streaks of iridescent color. But Akshay knew better than this! He knew he was not doing that on purpose, he was supposed to have a better control over his powers! But this! What was going on here?

The word solidified and tittered as if balanced in thin air. The smallest breeze would send it crashing into the ground and shatter. While normally he was fine with it, it was a different story since the extremely pretty blonde would be the one to get nailed on the back of the head. He didn’t want that, obvious…

>> "Um... hi? Nice shop..."

He blinked.

She spoke to him…success! It surely must have been because of his Axe Body Spray! But his face remained simply friendly as he turned to face her with a with a grin…only to have it evaporate. The word “RING” had been nearly fully form. Uh, no. He was not going to let her get hurt because of a stray word!

That was why, despite how comical it looked and despite how psychotic he may look as well, Akshay suddeny flung himself at the woman, hands flailing in the air above her head.

The word began to vanish…

…But not without the cost of him looking silly and probably scaring the hell out of the beautiful blonde.

When he was done swiping the word away, he turned back to the blonde and beamed a winning smile.

“Thanks!” he finally added with flourish. God he hoped she wasn’t too freaked out from that “smooooooooooth” work he did trying to make that word vanish…

Sveta blinked and took a few cautious steps back as the guy started to flail over her head. Was that some comic book nerd greeting? Or was he just that excited to see a girl walk in? Was he okay?... He didn't look dangerous, so no matter how the kids were giggling in the background, Sveta resisted the urge to bolt.

The guy rewarded her with a smile and a flourish. That was... weird. And cute, in a weird way. Sveta strted to see the whole comic book thing the Americans were all hyped up about...

>>“Thanks!”

"Um... you are welcome?" she glanced up above her head, but could see nothing "Is everything okay?... I could come back another time..."

Akshay had that winning smile on his face but he was still terrified on the inside. He would feel that pull at both behind his eyes and at the back of his head. Why were his powers so active right now?! He always had such a stalwart control over them but for whatever reason, right now he was completely lacking! He couldn’t sooth the sensation in his head and of course it had to be right now in front of this bombshell of a young woman! What. Was. The. DEAL?!

But, he took a mental break. The incident would pass. He knew it would. He only had to breathe and remain calm.

Taking a breath he smirked at the woman…who looked as if she wanted to bolt from the comic shop.

No woman should ever have to run into him on an off day.

>> "Um... you are welcome? Is everything okay?... I could come back another time..."

He was about to respond when he suddenly saw the word “TIME” flutter out between her lips, those magnificent lips, and gently dance off into the air above her head. Thankfully he knew from experience that she couldn’t see her own words, only those that he spoke if they fully formed. But it was still a distraction.

He trailed the tiny word, apparently spoken very delicately, as it lazily floated upward, black boarded but with a tinge of light blue where there was normally white. Occasionally some people spoke in their own personal color around him, but it was a rare instance. She really must have been special.

Then he blinked and shook his head. Leave? She said leave, right?

“Oh! No, no, no! Not busy at all and all is well!” he said with a wide grin. “So, how can this magnificent person help you?”

P-E-R-S…

The letters began to form in the air to the right of the blonde’s pretty head. He bit his lip, grabbed a board from the counter and shook it at the air that was directly next to where the woman was, just out of her line of sight. He grinned awkwardly as he waved the word away.

“Heh…sorry…bug…”

B-U-…

He cursed himself and swiped the air, again out of the blondes immediately line of sight to banish another word.

Totally. Not. COOL!

>>“Oh! No, no, no! Not busy at all and all is well! So, how can this magnificent person help you?”

He looked cheerful and helpful (do they teach that to people in America? Or do they just fire them if they don't do it right?...). And he was still waving at something. Sveta winced away from the waving.

>>“Heh…sorry…bug…”

"Dat's okay" she winced away again, hoping he was not going to slap her by accident "I didn't see a bug."

Besides, she was used to bugs. She was best friends with a girl who had a lungful of them. Bugs did not Bother Sveta as much as they used to.
Talking about Agnes...

"I am just looking to buy some comics for a friend. You know. Christmas." she smiled a bit, hoping to distract him from the waving...

The woman was obviously freaking out but for whatever reason she was attempting to keep her composure while in the store. Wow, he would have imagined that a normal person would have run off, screaming into the city after a display like that. People were so prone to not be around weird that they took every chance they could to get away from it. And though Akshay would never consider himself as being in the “Weird” category, he preferred eccentric, even he had to admit that his behavior was odd enough to warrant someone running away.

But she didn’t. His soul mate had decided to stay by his side. He definitely needed to learn her name now.

>> "Dat's okay…I didn't see a bug."

“Um…b-because I scared it away,” he beamed triumphantly.

>> "I am just looking to buy some comics for a friend. You know. Christmas."

So. Many. Nouns! Akshay tried not to appear distracted as he watched the nouns she said fluttered out of her mouth and float towards the ceiling. “Bug”, “comics”, “friend”, “Christmas”, he watched all of those skyblue, black bordered words float upward and drift lazily away from her mouth. Each time she spoke he could feel the pull behind his eyes and try as he might to suppress it, it simply was not working. Once she was gone he was going to have to test his powers to make sure that everything was still in working order.

But for now, he returned to the conversation at hand.

“Oh how sweet of you!” he said with calculated effort. He really needed to try and stop saying any nouns. “Tell me what does your f—“ he paused. Better choice of word, better choice of word!! “Ugh, what do they like? We have all sorts of…” he paused and then simply waved to the rest of the comics in the shop.

This was going to be difficult.

>>“Oh how sweet of you! Tell me what does your f— Ugh, what do they like? We have all sorts of…”

All right, bug gone, and he was willing to help her with finding comics for Agnes. Good. He seemed to be struggling with words... but then again, Sveta did that a lot herself. Maybe it was not his first language? She could relate to that. She smiled patiently, waiting for him to finish his sentence, even though she knew what he was going to say. But after a while, the guy just looked desperate.

"I am not sure" she admitted, looking around. Who makes this many comics?... And who reads them all?...

"I just know she likes reading comics. But I have never read any, so... I don't know what I should choose for her. Can you recommend anything?"

>> "I am not sure"

Poor little lamb looked lost. It tugged at his heartstrings. Despite the headache that wanted to develop because of his abilities, he still managed to give her a friendly smile and nod as he waited for her to finish looking around. She was here for a gift, so that was good, but for who? A boyfriend? A husband? A male friend that had managed to seduce her enough to actually go into a comic book shop for him? He cringed inward, how dare they use her in such a way!

First thing after their wedding, he was going to make sure to have a good sit down chat with her about men like that in her life.

But he returned to reality as the second he saw that next “comics” floating up into the air. He blinked and returned to her talking…

>> "I just know she likes reading comics. But I have never read any, so... I don't know what I should choose for her. Can you recommend anything?"

She? Ooo! Well that was a different story. Then maybe his future bride was not being used by some comic nerd to fetch his issues for him. How. Excellent.

The question turned back to him, but not without a little bit of sadness. Never read a comic before? But…how was that possible? Did she live under a rock? But he had to remember not everyone was as blessed as he was to live amongst the great superheroes, demon slayers, and scantily clad images that he had been priveliaged with. It was okay, so she was a comic virgin (tee hee). He would be more than happy to help expose her to his world.

…

…

Ahem.

He smiled and nodded as he listened, trying to not get distracted by the subtitles that were floating up and into the air.

“Well we do have several…” he sighed as he waved to the comics around. Had to watch his nouns! “Some that are good include…” he wandered over to the wall and began to pull down several issues, including Rat-Man, Ladybug Girl, even the latest issue of his own comic, Slaggathor and handed them over to her. “Do any of these look like comics that she may like?”

C-O-M-I…

He growled, though pretended to clear his there as he waved his hand in the empty space of air to the left of her head and made the forming word vanish.

“Woooow, cooooooool…” one of the two boys that still occupied the store muttered as he watched the letters form and then quickly vanish.

Akshay sighed.

>>“Well we do have several… Some that are good include… Do any of these look like comics that she may like?”

She followed him, gathering all the comics in her harms. He handed a bunch of them to her; way, way, waaaaay more than Agnes could read in a million years. Some of them looked interesting, and the rest... well, the rest looked weird. Some even looked familiar. One cannot live in America without running into superheroes every once in a while. That, or mutants...

And the guy was waving at her again.

>>“Woooow, cooooooool…”

She turned to look at the kids. Were they staring at her? Nope, they were staring at the guy. Good. Being checked out by ten-year-olds would have been the last straw in this situation. She couldn't really get what was cool about the weirdly waving guy, but... oh well. Kids. In a comic book shop.
Might as well buy stuff and get this done with. Sveta returned to the bright idea she had just moments before.

"Do you have any about mutants?..."

The kids were snickering…and Akshay wanted to throw something at them. Maybe he could form a nice, large HAM and hurl it into their faces. But he managed to keep calm. Despite the slight jitter he had (Did he drink too much coffee this morning?), he managed to keep his cool. He was not going to lose it around this absolutely beautiful woman. He was far better than that. Still that headache was pounding in the back of his head. Why didn’t that one want to go away?

He sighed though as he looked back to her. She was eyeing all the selections closely, picking out which ones seemed the most interesting to her friend. He wished that he knew at least a little bit of information about exactly who it was that this goddess was buying for. If he knew just one comic that she read then he could definitely set up a proper list for her. At least more options than just blindly running around the store and picking out random titles.

But as he stood back and waited for her to finish going through the rest of the titles he had handed her, and listening to the other two kids who were still watching the scene, as if waiting for more words to appear, suddenly a look seemed to dawn over her face.

It was a look that said, to him anyways, only one thing…

…she had realized that he was her soulmate. How lovely that she had that dawn of inspiration here in the comic store!

>> "Do you have any about mutants?..."

…

Mental grumbling!!!

But his face was all serenity and calm.

“You know, I think we do,” he said with a confident nod. “Follow me!” he said cheerily as he lead her down the rolls and began to pull more comics.

At least now there was a central theme to focus on…mutants. As he walked he began to pull fewer titles including “Muck-Dude”, “The Mini-Skirt Adventures of Old Steal”, and of course “The Buggavenger”. He turned to her with another winning smile.

“Better?”

>>“You know, I think we do. Follow me!”

She followed him. The kids were still giggling but she paid no attention; now that she had a vague idea of what she wanted, she was actually taking some time to flip through the comics that were handed to her.

Buggavenger? Really?...

"Better?"

"Um, yeah" she looked up, smiling "I am still not sure what she likes, but I have a feeling she will like mutant stories."

There was no need to share the reason for that. It was none of his business. But so far he was being helpful, even if a little weird.

"So, which one is your favorite?" she asked with a smile. That was always a useful question to ask. People usually knew their own favorites better than they guessed somebody else's...

Akshay stood expecting, watching the young woman as she poured over the collection of comic books that he had handed to her. He had to admit that they were not his best choices, but given the circumstances, he worked with what he had. Personally he liked the superhero stuff, but he was not going to impose his viewpoints upon her. Instead he merely stood back and let her survey the cornucopia of titles that he had pulled for her. A girl who liked mutant stories, she outta like those.

>> "Better? Um, yeah…I am still not sure what she likes, but I have a feeling she will like mutant stories."

He nodded with a winning smile. She had such pretty words…

Ahem. Anyways, he was sure whoever this person was that the young beauty was buying for would love what he chose. After all, he was the expert in this situation and seeing as how he wanted to impress this absolutely gorgeous woman, he would only display his best.

“Well, if anything, she outta love those,” He said with a grin.

>> "So, which one is your favorite?"

The word “LOVE” began to formulate behind her and quickly he slid around behind her. Not in a creepy way. Oh, Not. At. All. Once he was behind her, he quickly waved away the word that had begun to form and ignored the two boys that were still watching them. They were still looking in awe.

He returned to the last question that she had asked. It was time to bring out the big, impressive guns. With a grin he reached out and very casually plucked out the “Slaggathor” comic that he had given her early.

“Personally…this,” he said with a nod. “And, ahem,” he grinned as he turned the book around to show his picture on the back. Yes, he was the writer and artist behind the comic.

He posed, just as he did in the picture.

She didn’t have a chance of resisting him anymore…