Everyone saw it. It was a public place. Why were they doing that? It was awkward for everyone around. If it had been normal, maybe... but as it was. How did they think people would react to two people standing several feet apart, tongue-kissing?

It just wasn't right.

How did tongues stretch that long?

This was the sort of thing that seemed like it would require... police investigation. She would call them.

... Just as soon as they stopped doing whatever it was they were up to.

Now, how did those tongues dance?

Behind the woman looking on, a frustrated human eyed the couple. So rude, they were. Parading their mutations like that. Like they were hot stuff. Oh yeah?! Well, he could get that sort of power. He had the capability. To become stronger. Faster. Better. All it took was a little help from his friends. He popped a pill. That's when the crazy stuff started to get crazier.

Saph wasn't quite sure what he was looking at. He scratched his head in confusion as he looked down to the tiny "bob's book of Law" once again... He couldn't see any real they were breaking... Public displays of affection were not illegal... But this was a whole other level. He wondered if there was such thing as a super public display of affection. He nodded to himself slowly and flipped to the S section. No luck. Huh... Still, he could see that other people in the area weren't enjoying this as much as them.

He decided to stop it. He stepped out from his bush cover, showing his awesome new Masochist suit... Made by that broad who made all of the other X's costumes. He had to admit it was better than he ever could have done. Still... His Judge costume was more combat effective... But he couldn't think about that now... Right now he was the Masochist- Friendly neighborhood X-man who upheld the law, didn't kill men who deserved it, and acted as the man's lapdog. He took a deep breath, now wasn't the time to think about his dissagreances with the X-men and the cops being buddy buddy. He had an act of civil service to take care of.

The valiant super hero walked on up to the kissing mutant couple and tapped one on the shoulder. The long tounged person turned and blinked a few times, looking him up and down as he retracted his tongue. "...Yes?"

"Good afternoon, Citizen. I have come to humbly ask that you cease your display of public affection. No disrespect, but it seems to be causing a sort of scene."

The man stared at him for a second, and then turned and continued making out with his girlfriend. Saph stood in place for a moment. He then looked about nervously. He couldn't hit them. They weren't breaking the law... What should he do? His nervous looking paid off, though, because he caught sight of someone walking up... This particular person looked angry, but you could hardly tell because you were probably too distracted looking up at the giant mushroom growing from the top of his head.

The man stopped in front of the couple, who stopped and looked at him, and then leaned his head forward, and wiggled his shroom. With a PWOOF! A yellowish cloud shot out. Saph just happened to be standing a little too close to that cloud.

"Woah!..... Wo..... Woaaaaaaaahhhhh."

Things suddenly got... how do you say...crazier.

Bang bang! Bang! Bang!

This is usually how things start. A bang. Or, in the world of police, how they end.

Shin had been spending an awful lot of time learning how to be a police officer, by the book. He was taking classes. he was doing everything it took to become official, rather than honorary, or whatever the X-men were to the police. He was trying hard. This involved learning to use guns.

His power was always a huge offensive option. That was certain. But technically, for an officer of the law this power was not always an option. Even for MRC. Actually. He didn't know about for MRC. He'd have to research that. He'd definitely want to be MRC, if that were the case. For now, guns. That's what he was learning.

Guns were hard to fire. They were loud. You had to wear head gear. He was a lousy shot. He wanted to be a better one, though... he wanted to be better. Because of what had happened to Ghost. He had motivation. Motivation, with no skill.

Shin looked around. There were so many people who were better shots. Headphones still on, he made a simple request that nobody would likely hear.

"Um... heeeeelp?"

Because he needed help, definitely... and right now, he had no self-respect.

Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. The Sig-226 barked with each pull on the 12lb trigger. It was rhythmic. That’s how it started and ended on the shooting range. At least for Quin. She’d passed her first proficiency training with flying colors, but her bi-annual was coming up and she wanted to do even better. Statistics said that the common person who carried a handgun could shoot better than the average police officer. Quin wasn’t average, she made sure of it. She practiced on the range, a lot. It was almost therapeutic.

She’d practiced at all the test ranges. 9 ft, 21ft, 45 ft. The redhead had toyed around with the idea of backing the target up to 100 ft, but that was a little ridiculous, even if she did feel like showing off. It wasn’t even necessary.

She’d ran through almost all of her target ammo and it was probably time for her to go. Emptying her clip, Quin holstered her weapon and made for the exit, just in time to see a few face unmistakably asking for help. She stopped, and stared. ”Rookie?” she yelled.

OOC - All of the gun knowledge in this post gets credited to Ranger. It's all from his brain. Not mine.

Hop. Hop. Hop.

He was almost there.

Hop. Hop. Hop.

He had to hop; that made it slower.

Hop. Hop. Lean, lose balance, steady, STEADY!

If he fell over he would touch the lava. Lava wasn't good to fall in- he'd learned that before he'd dropped out. Also, it was kinda common sense.

"HEE HEE HEE!" The great super hero Saph spun in place, careful not to fall in the lava, which looked a lot like grass, but that was only because it was particularly sneaky lava. He placed a hand horizontal against his head, as if blocking out the sunlight, even though it was overcast. He then looked upon a couple of kissy faced buffoons standing in the lava!.

Just.

Standing there.

Didn't they know it was against the rules not to be on fire right now?! They two long tongued people were busy making faces at each other, and laughing way too loud, especially considering they were sitting in lava grass.

He immediately forgot about the lava, and turned to see his buddy, his pal, his best friend in the world... Whatshisface the mushroom head.
"Hey whatshisfaaaace... Wachu doiinnnn?" He didn't answer. His mouth was gone. Turned into another mushroom prolly. Everything on him seemed to be... huh, he wondered if-ANYWAY- he was too busy poofing people in the nostrils with the funny dust that turned the grass into lava... Wait, what lava? Oh well. He strolled out onto the grass, and took a deep breath of the fresh city air... And then he was suddenly a giant monster! He had to rampage in the grass city!

He walked like godzilla and made the closest sounds to that of a giant lizard he could make as he rampaged. Other people were prancing about around him- obstacles. He knocked them over as he walked, and breathed fire into their faces.

It was rude, yes, but they didn't seem to mind.

He paused when he reached the street, and stared up a lamp pole... Woah... It was the highest part of the city! He had to climb onto it and hit planes down! Awesome!

The Monster Masochist started climbing.

Oh, hey. Help came. It came in the form of a redhead with a gun.

"Yeah!" Shin roared. They were both wearing eye protection and ear muffs. It was hard to hear from inches away. So. Roaring was the way. "CAN. YOU. HELP. ME?" And shouting.

He needed help.

Even if guns were scary, he needed to learn to use them. He was still a rookie. He could use all the help he could get.

~*~

Meanwhile, across town. Chaos. It was still happening. One woman ran because her head was on fire. Or at least, she thought it was!

Could she…help him? Quin stared at the rookie for a few moments, then shook her head with a laugh and pointed at the target. ”You’ve got to help yourself, kid.” she shouted. This guy was definitely going to be one of the negative statistics, if he made it through proficiency training.

She wasn’t without pity though, “You point the end the bullet comes out of at the thing you want to shoot, and pull the trigger.” she offered helpfully (and loudly), then sighed. The kid had been desperate enough to ask for help, who was she to deny him?

”Do you mind?” she yelled, gesturing towards the target once more while already reloading her weapon for a demonstration.

--

The chaos grew as more and more people sought out the oddity that was developing. Strange things happened a lot, but the behavior of the people today was drawing quite an audience. After all, it wasn't every day a mushroom headed person started making other people do insane things. The problem with a crowd is that wind carries spores, and one by one...the observers started to become the observed.

"BWAAAAAHHHHH!" It was a party! Why was he up on a pole? Where did his shirt go? Wait, he wasn't ever wearing a shirt! Duh! It was more like a stretchy one piece... A sexy superman ballerina uniform of doooooom. With a big M on it! Also an X.... What did they stand for again?

MEGA XYLOPHONE MAN.(manmanmanmanman) Wait, did he just call himself sexy in his mind? Well, he did have a super eight pack... Also of doom.

From his place in the sky, he looked down, and saw, just below his feet, a yellow cloud, expanding to the left and right... Sweeet. More people could be at the mercy of SAPHZILLA! He made a loud lizard sound down at the people below him, one of which was running around patting her head and screaming. "AHHH FIRE, FIRE!"

Saph leaned back, and allowed his legs to catch on the lightpole as he fell, causing him to hang there. "SILLY! you aren't on fire!"

"I'm not?"

"No! You're covered in ants!"

"ANTS!! AHHH!" She continued her running around in circles as he cackled like a wee schoolgirl.

Wait... why was he laughing? What was going on? He looked about, disoriented for a moment. His eyes slowly drifted to the yellowish air beneath him, and he quickly pulled himself up to a seated position again. What the hell had just happened?

PWOOF! Oh... that was it. He looked over to the mushroom man, who was running around, spewing out way too much of that mist for comfort. His mind felt clearer now... Because he was above the smog? He supposed he was lucky that stuff didn't last very lo-"AAAGH!" Suddenly his head hurt way too much, and he nearly lost his grip on the pole.

"HEY! I'm King Kong, man! I demand that pole!" Saph looked down to a very burly man far beneath him... In a sad twist of fate he kinda looked like the missing link. Saph had to laugh for a second, okay, so maybe the stuff hadn't quite worn off yet... Suddenly the pole began to shake... Aww crap... It looked like King Kong wasn't going to take, "This spot's taken," for an answer.

>>You point the end the bullet comes out of at the thing you want to shoot, and pull the trigger."

That made SENSE. But it was HARD. How could he...? Oh. Maybe if he... threw the gun? No, wait. He wasn't that stupid. Why was she suggesting things for him that sounded like things one would suggest to a stupid person? Weird. He wasn't stupid at all. He just wanted some tips on how to shoot better.

Shin SUPPOSED a demonstration wouldn't hurt.

"GO AHEAD!" He shouted his reply.

Something vibrated on his belt buckle. "HUH?" Oh right. He pulled the X-communicator free and stared at it. The police had their signals now, didn't they? Maybe he should answer this? He looked to the redhead. "HOLD ON. I'VE GOT AN IMPORTANT CALL."

She was a police lady, wasn't she? Maybe she had a call too? Well, he'd have to drag her somewhere less Gun-Rangey if they wanted to check on this, he figured.

Quin was just getting ready to shoot at the target when the rookie started shouting something at her. The redhead turned her head and frowned as he pulled something from his belt and looked at it. That was the weirdest cell phone she’d ever seen.

Wait. Was that a cell phone?

Quin scowled slightly, pursing her lips together. ”WHAT IS THAT?” she shouted, but she sort of kind of had a feeling she knew. She’d seen those before, in the paper, and on the news.

Wobble wobble wobble-
"heh...heh...heh..."

Wait, this wasn't funny at all! He was about to fall into the spore cloud again! He clinged to the pole with all of his might, but his lapse in soberness had taken it's tole. He was shaken until he ended up hanging by one hand- his feet touching the yellowish mist. One more firm shake, and he was on his feet.

"Awwww man!"

"Aw.... maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan." His hand got very interesting, He turned to see King Kong trying to climb the light, but to no avail. That was also super interesting. He realized he was standing in lava. He did a barrel roll. It didn't help much. The lava was cool today, though- perfect for a stroll.

The masochist was walking. Skipping, actually, and licking a stick, which in his mind was a lollipop... A very barky lollipop.

He paused, however, when he saw a man in a blue uniform calling over his radio while waving his gun about wildly. "GIANT MONSTER SPIDERS LOOSE IN THE PARK! NEED BACKUP! NEED BACKUP!" He then started pulling the trigger on his revolver, which wasn't even loaded, and making gun sound effects.

Saphirus ducked for cover, and tried to find a safe spot to hide behind! Those bullets looked suspiciously like lobsters! Lobsters were dangerous, albeit majestic and proud animals! He couldn't afford to be hit by one, as lobster was also very expensive.

Shin put the X-communicator up to his ear. Failed. Hauled it out in front of him and stared at it. Oh yeah. He had ear phones on.

"X-communicator! COME ON!"

Now was the time for him to be bossy and grab hands. To haul ladies out of shooting ranges because they were cops, right? And they could help him with whatever emergency he had to deal with. Shin did just that.

She was a bit resistant to the pulling. What woman wouldn't be? When they didn't know exactly what the hell was going on.

Pull, pull. Shin pulled. Her through the door. And out. Then, he pulled off his ear covers and held up the X-communicator in front of her for a second. "X-man," He said. Then, he pressed a button. That was to hang up. Because he'd answered before and hadn't been able to hear a darned thing. He looked at her. "We need to get to the nearest phone and call it in. There's a situation. But I completely missed the call~"

X….Communicator. The slight scowl went full on, at the words and the redhead fought the urge to turn around and walk away. She was curious though, and the Asian guy was yelling and grabbing her by the arm and Quin was just shocked enough that she followed, albeit a bit reluctantly.

Once they were outside the range, Quin pulled the protective gear off her head and plopped a fist on her hip. ”I should have guessed as much.” she said just a bit meanly and shook her head when he pointed out that they needed to find a phone somewhere because he’d missed the call.

”Stay.” she said, holding up a hand and pulling out her cellphone.

A few moments later, she hung up. ”Some kind of mutant melt down in a park.”

She smirked in the X-Man’s general direction. ”But I guess they’ll have to settle for MRC since the X-Men missed the call.” she said, ”But you can ride along if you promise to stay out of the way.”

This lobster tasted a lot like grass... He took another bite. It wasn't his place to judge the poor creature because it didn't taste as good as it's kin. It didn't look as good, either. It was all green and spiky and stuff, what was up with that?

His chewing slowed to a halt. My god. This wasn't lobster at all...

IT WAS LAVA!

He spit out the lava as fast as he could, and rolled onto a park bench, clinging to the bottom of it and looking down at the lobster grass FREAKING LAVA beneath him! He managed to scurry around to the top of the bench, his private canoe in a sea of lava-ee death, and look around for other survivors.

The cop had found his ammo. He loaded the bullets clumsily, humming a journey song under his breath. He had killed the last of the spiders with his mind rays, and only had one thing left to do. He loaded the last bullet, aimed the gun into the air, and screamed while firing until the revolver was spent... He'd always wanted to do that.

The gunshots echoed through the park, and the Masochist was sure to duck low behind the cover of his pirate ship's wooden railing. He looked to his crew, and shouted commands for them to load the cannons!

His crew was his feet.

His cannons were his boots.

He pulled off his boot and threw it at the cop's head.

It hit hard. He spun in place. He fell on his face. Saph started trying to row his pirate ship toward the skiff he'd just disabled in order to pillage it, or what ever pirates did. He was pretty sure vikings were the ones who pillaged...

All the while, his X-communicator lay forgotten on his pocket, butt dialing everyone and everything an X-communicator could butt dial.

>>”I should have guessed as much.” She said.


”Stay,” she said.

He actually heard her those times. The ear coverings were off his head.

Darn, cellphones were useful. Why didn't the X-men have some of those? It only took a minute. Redhead-lady had the information and a smirk on her face. He looked at her with a hint of disbelief.

"Me get in the way? I'll be going there to help." He pouted. "If you don't take me, I'll just have to fly there myself." Except he didn't know which park. Or where it was. And her car was faster. And... bleh. Manly posturing aside, though. "I would appreciate a ride." He bowed his head respectfully.

As he bowed, his X-communicator lit up with a billion butt-dials. He whipped it out and stared at background noise and confusion. Then he switched it off. "Huh."