((OCC: This is taking place on the 11th of January))

Kate sunk to the ground with her back pressed to the newly closed door of her bedroom. She had rushed in the room just to get away from the looks and quite whispers. She could still feel the judging eyes on her skin. After she had gotten back from England the teachers had been informed of her accident and as a result so had the students. It only took one of them hearing a whispered conversation for the entire student body to find out.

Kate pressed her knees to her chest and hid her face in them. She was starting to wonder if her mother was right. Was the world really as judgmental and cruel as she had told her it was? This place was supposed to be a safe haven and right now it felt like she was on trial for her stupidity. All she had done was go outside to feel the rain. Sure it was stupid to do it in December but she hadn’t really been thinking about the temperature outside. She had only been thinking about the fact that she didn’t want to be like her mother. She didn’t want to spend her life trapped inside, never feeling or experiencing anything.

So, she had gone out into the rain. She had felt the drops fall on her bare skin like daggers of ice and it was invigorating. If she had died it would have been a good way to go out. Finally feeling something other than worry and fear of every move she made. Not living through books and movies and stories, but living for real. Living as a person and not a thing. She was more than just her mutation.

Sure, everyone thought that she had tried to kill herself, but at first it was worth it. That was until the looks became sharper and the whispers became louder. Until the people around her started to penetrate her euphoric little bubble.

So, just as she had done many times since her mother died, she broke down and cried.

It had been less than four hours since he and Gawain and Maya had returned from their little ‘vacation’ and as far as Sam could tell he wasn’t in any better position than he was before. Amanda and T.A.T.M.A.H. still had him back into a corner and things needed to be handled effectively or he would end up loosing control of the situation. At least what little control he had left. However he was in more danger than everyone else at least for now and his well-being was one of his minor concerns compared to the elephant of a concern that was waiting for him down the hall.

A slight limp in his right leg, his left arms in a sling and some make shift bandages still wrapped around his lower torso where two cracked ribs resided. This was no ordinary mission so when he came back with only so few and minor injuries he was relatively surprised. Knowing that Doc could heal him at any time he decided the first thing on his ‘Stuff that needs handling list’ was Kate. He had only been back for a short while but seeing as the first thing he had heard not only from the students but the faculty as well. Well, Sam just hopped what was being said was just rumors.

Two boxes of pizza floated at his waist suspended by a hand made of ice, which was quickly melting from under the heat of the center of the box. Not needing the hand of ice for long Sam knocked on the door with his non-slung arm and then grabbed the two boxes of pizza with his good hand. The scent attracted a few stragglers from the girls hallway and when they saw who had it they were all surprised to see Sam what more see him in a sling. Giving a few of them a smile Sam waited for a moment then turned back to the door. ”Open up Kate, I come all the way from around the world to see you and you don’t even come say hello?”

All right so it wasn’t the best approach to get a teenage girl to open the door but if his pizza trap was working she would be wondering where the scent of the food was coming from and at least one of the boxes in his hand had her name on it.

Now re thinking everything that had happened to her recently he understood or at least had an idea in how much pain she could be in. Sam never really had much time with his parents or remembered anything about them but he knew if the just disappeared from his life he’d be hurting as well. Suicidal? Probably not but then again he never knew his parents long enough. He knew it was hard on her and if she was anything like Sam other than mutation she wouldn’t want to talk to just anyone. Above all she’d just want some company.

Kate cried silently into her knees, shakily gasping for air between sobs, when there was a knock at the door.

>> Open up Kate, I come all the way from around the world to see you and you don’t even come say hello?

Kate gasped in surprise at the familiar sound of her teacher’s voice. Everyone had been talking about her, yes, but they had also all been avoiding her as if she had the plague. So, the last thing she expected was a knock on her door with someone asking to come in.

Her first impulse was to tell him to go away so she could wallow in, solitude but if she had learned anything about Samuel Johnson, it was that he was as stubborn as a mule, and if he wanted her to let him in he would stand outside of her door talking at her until she did. And normally she would have yelled at him until one of them gave in, she tended to be just as stubborn as he was which made their daily danger room sessions very interesting some times, but lately she hadn’t had much fight left in her. Everything that had happened over the past month had beaten her into submission and she was no more than a walking shell of her normal self, only going through the motions out of a need to seem fine. Sure there was a lot of her that wanted to experience life and seize each day, but there was more that was lost and confused. She had no idea how to keep going the same way let alone change things.

Kate took a deep breath and tried to hide the tears and sadness in her voice from the man on the other side of the door, “Just a minute.”

She stood and whipped her eyes as she walked over to the vanity to check her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were puffy and her face was red from crying. She quickly tried to cover it up with press powder in an attempt to seem okay before returning to the doorway.

She took a deep breath and put on a fake smile before opening the door, “Hello Sam.” Sure it wasn’t hard to figure out that she was faking it all, since she still had traces of tears in her eyes but she was going to try her damnedest to seem fine for this man that seemed to understand her so well. He had worked so hard to make her life at the school livable that she didn’t want him to think that any part of her didn’t want to be here.

The voice of Kate was muffled and revealed the strain in her voice and his fears came forward. Masked by his usual smile however he didn’t reveal his fears, he kept them to himself and distracted himself by adjusting the pizza with his uninjured arm waiting on one of his students that he had come to appreciate over the last few months. Wondering if things would have been different if he had been by her side when she found out about her mother Sam exhaled and then pushed the thoughts away. It was like one of his teachers said as a kid, ‘time wishing or wondering is time wasted. Focus on the present and prepare for the future’.

The sound of movement from inside the room snapped Sam’s attention back to the present and he tapped his thumb on the pizza box while waiting, ”Food is getting cold, even told them to make sure it was just out of the oven!” Sam said hoping it would motivate Kate to move faster and open the door. The door opened and Sam smiled, ”Making me wait?” Sam said with a smile mirroring hers as his good eye focused on her eyes, which were still red despite the attempt to play it off.

Choosing not to let her know she was faking her current mood Sam lifted the pizza boxes with his good hand and asked, ”Mind if I come in? Haven’t seen you in a while and I felt like having some company for my first meal back state side. Two birds with one stone you know?” not really waiting for the invitation in Sam walked in and got hit by the warmth of the room coming from the heater he had put in when he first found out she was moving into the mansion.

Not really affected by the heat Sam limped his way into the room and found a chair for him to sit in and worked his way over to it while starting up again, ”Hope you like meat lovers and banana peppers on your pizza because I got them both.” Sam said setting the pizza down by the chair. ”You have anything to drink in here?” Sam asked curiously looking around the room before his lone eye fixed on Kate ”Really good to be back, Germany was a bit too cold… even for my liking.” Sam said flashing a smile towards the firemancer before him.

>>Food is getting cold, even told them to make sure it was just out of the oven! Making me wait?

“It wasn’t personal. I had only just gotten back from class. I wasn’t expecting you to show up so abruptly.”

>>Mind if I come in? Haven’t seen you in a while and I felt like having some company for my first meal back state side. Two birds with one stone you know?

Kate moved out of the way so the injured man in front of her could enter.

>>Hope you like meat lovers and banana peppers on your pizza because I got them both. You have anything to drink in here?

Kate walked over to the small fridge in the corner of the room and pulled out a bottle of water.

>>Really good to be back, Germany was a bit too cold… even for my liking.

She walked over to hand him the bottle and almost didn’t even react to his statement she was so lost in her own world that she hasn’t even noticed how hurt Sam was until now, “What happened to you? I mean I know you were on something x-men related but you’re a bit of a mess.” It wasn’t until the words left her mouth that Kate realized that there was no concern in them. She was only really commenting but she could have tried and faked it at least. She really wasn’t doing a very good job of seeming normal.

Nodding his head Sam questioned, ”Did you go to class?” Now moving the pizza onto the desk as he sat back in the chair letting his aching body rest for the most part. Cracking the box open with his good hand Sam waited a few moments before grabbing a slice, the purpose of this was to make the smell spread throughout the room. Given the situation and the way people have been talking about her he wouldn’t have been surprised if she didn’t go to class. In fact he would have understood it if Kate hadn’t left her room since the incident, which was the main reason he was here. She needed someone right now and given the similarities they shared before and now share Sam figured he’d be better than most.

”Thanks,” Sam said taking the offered water and cracking it open and blowing on it briefly to make the water colder. Taking a sip and placing the water on the desk next to the opened box of pizza, Sam’s attention drifted from the boxes of pizza and his empty stomach to Kate who questioned what happened to him.

Smirking now at the tone of voice she had asked Sam replied, ”You asking because you care or your curious?” there was a tone of jest in his voice when he asked this due to the lack of emotion that was coming from Kate. He noticed it might have been not the best time to joke with her but he was trying to lift her mood up a bit. Lightening the mood was something Sam took pride in he had been doing after all since he was a child.

”It turned from an X-men mission into something a little more personal,” Sam said looking down with his good eye to his arm in the sling due to the recently replaced relocated shoulder. ”Some things went wrong but in the end they turned out manageable.” Sam said not really replying any of the details over in his mind for obvious reasons. He wanted no company in his mind today. ”It seems when things get personal I have a tendency to go a little over board.” Sam said laughing a bit.

Once his laughter died down he took another sip of water and then added, ”Sides it will take about five minutes for Doc to patch me up, physical wounds are always the easiest to heal…” he trailed off letting him know he was aware how she currently felt or at least knew she was feeling broken. ”Now how about you take a seat?”

”How about a slice of pizza? Bet your hungry,” Sam said reaching for an opened box of the meat lovers pizza and offered it to her, ”It’s tastes great and the best part, it’s free.” Sam said with a smile on her face. Pizza always made things better.

>>Did you go to class?

“Of course I went to class. Why wouldn’t I?” The smell wafted into Kate’s nostrils, she was far hungry then she had realized. That had been happening to her a lot lately and it was really not a good thing.

She looked over at the Pizza and wondered what it would taste like. It wasn’t something that was cooked very much in the average British household and since Kate had never been allowed to watch television she had never even seen one until she came to the mansion.

>>Thanks. You asking because you care or your curious?

“I’m terribly sorry. I have been a little distracted as of late. I really am concerned for your general well being but I am sure it is nothing you can’t handle. Otherwise why would you be here?” The corners of Kate’s mouth turned up in an attempt to smile and kind of failed.

>>It turned from an X-men mission into something a little more personal. Some things went wrong but in the end they turned out manageable. It seems when things get personal I have a tendency to go a little over board.

“I think I understand that more then you know.” Kate almost mumbled to the air more then to Sam.

>>Sides it will take about five minutes for Doc to patch me up, physical wounds are always the easiest to heal… Now how about you take a seat? How about a slice of pizza? Bet your hungry It’s tastes great and the best part, it’s free.

Kate moved over to her bed and sat down, eying the pizza once more. It sure smelled good but could something so greasy even be appetizing, "I think I will be fine until I go down stairs and make something. Did you come to talk about anything specific? I can assure you I have been keeping up with my practice and regulating my powers while you were gone. There is really nothing to worry about."

She hoped and prayed that maybe, just maybe, he was there for a different reason then the one she knew he was. If she had been in his shoes she probably would have done the same thing and come to make sure a young girl like her wasn't about to slit her own wrists in her bathroom tub. She heard people talking about her and it was like they thought she was a cracked porcelain doll about to shatter.

Sam shook his head and laughed, ”Relax Kate, I’m only joking!” Sam waved his free hand dismissively taking another bite of his pizza. Yeah, she seemed to be out of it still and the fact that she seemed so distant made Sam worry a bit more especially seeing as she was as he remembered before her… before this all started.

”Eat!” Sam said again this time making it come off like a command more than a request his voice was still kind but his eye were stern, she looked hungry and from the way she had been acting he was sure food would have been one of the last things on his mind if the ice manipulator was in her shoes. She was hurting still that much was obvious and considering that everyone thought she was trying to kill herself… it only made her priorities all scrambled you treat someone like they are broken they will in turn start to feel that way. It was counterproductive to her grieving process so much so it made Sam sad.

Specific? The question she had asked and the way she had said it was a poor attempt at convincing. ‘How about the little rain incident, or your mother?’ those were some pretty specific thoughts he could have voiced but didn’t for obvious reasons. Being he wasn’t the best with heart to hearts however he did feel he should not only be there because he was obligated under his own promise to her recently deceased mother but because he wanted to be there for her.

”I never said that I was worried about anything, I’m just here to visit with one of my students, I would have come to see you even if I wasn’t worried about you.” Sam said as he took another bite of his pizza letting the taste sit before he opened his mouth again to take another bite again.

”Your studies wasn’t a major concern, I know you take your mutation and the exercises I have given you seriously…” Sam took another bite swallowed and stared at her, ”More worried about you in general Kate, mainly because I heard you were injured recently.” Sam said touching the subject softly alluding to the fact he meant the rain, but also meaning to touch on the subject of her mother.

>>Relax Kate, I’m only joking!...Eat!

Kate sat down at the command, and tentatively picked up a piece of pizza. She look at it for a moment before taking a bite. It was actually quite good and before she knew it it was gone. Another sign she was hungrier than she had thought.

>>I never said that I was worried about anything, I’m just here to visit with one of my students, I would have come to see you even if I wasn’t worried about you.

“Which tells me you are worried about me.” Kate mumbled under her breath looking away from Sam. She was waiting for him to tell her that he would be there if she needed to talk and that she didn’t need to deal with this alone. Kate was actually getting quite tired of hearing about how the adults in her life would be there for her. She knew very well that they were only saying that so they could check on her mental state, since they all thought she was out of her mind suicidal.

>>[i]Your studies weren’t a major concern, I know you take your mutation and the exercises I have given you seriously… More worried about you in general Kate, mainly because I heard you were injured recently.”[/i][/color]

“And there it is.” Kate looked at Sam for a moment before standing and walking about the room, “The only reason anyone comes to see me these days it to make sure that I’m not going to slit my wrists.” She turned quickly and looked straight into Sam’s eyes. She was angry and wasn’t going to hide it anymore, “I am NOT this fragile broken thing that everyone should tread lightly around. I promise you I’m not going to break if you ask me a direct question or make me do something hard. All I want to do is live outside of this tiny little box where I am afraid to do anything.” Kate looked down trying to hold back her emotions once more.

She went through a traumatic experience, most students would have taken a few weeks off from their usual life, and it was only natural when Sam expected her to miss a few classes. However it was obvious Kate was putting on a tougher front than most kids her age (even if Sam was considered to be close to her age, a fact he never really gave much thought to).

When the fire elemental took a bite of the pizza Sam smiled and nodded his head, “It’s good right? Eat up!” the first slice she consumed vanished in thin air and Sam was relieved she was eating again, things like eating and drinking weren’t that much of a priority when something was eating away at your thoughts. It was clear she was hurting.

Sam’s lone blue eye fixed on Kate as she jumped from her spot and started to pace about the room, snapping back at his question arguing that she was indeed fine. She was stubborn any blind man could have seen that. “Kate, you are fragile.” Sam said correcting her statement that she was trying so hard to demonstrate. Before she could argue more Sam added quickly taking another bite of his pizza, “Everyone is fragile, I’m even fragile.” the words rolled of his tongue and Sam thought hard on the words that he just spat out and smirked.

“Physically were fit, you and me. We are strong. Emotionally however?” Sam sighed and set his pizza down and looked at his student who he now felt obligated and willing to keep his only on her making sure she could pull through this. “I’d feel down if I lost my mother,”[/color] Sam said his tone sounding sincere, “Never easy when you lose a loved one and you’d have to be crazy not to feel any different about it.” a lone image popped into his head momentarily of the rocky-mountains and a small log cabin by a riverfront. A big stocky figure standing next to his brother Dom, a warm shadow standing next to him. He looked up and the shadow melted away and he was drawn back to the present.

“I would have come to see you even if there wasn’t a problem, you should know that by now.” Sam paused momentarily to let Kate absorb the words and even added her thoughts in. The last thing he wanted to do was break her down, he just wanted to make sure she was handling this better than from what he had heard. “Now tell me about the rain incident…” Sam said his eyes fixed on her his stomach no longer growling as it was before hand.

>>Kate, you are fragile.

Kate tried to open her mouth and speak but was cut off quickly.

>>Everyone is fragile, I’m even fragile. Physically were fit, you and me. We are strong. Emotionally however? I’d feel down if I lost my mother.

Kate wanted to cut him off and yell that this wasn’t about her mother, but deep down she knew that was all it was about. She wouldn’t have done any of what she did if it hadn’t been for her mother. Even now the woman was controlling her every action from the wings. Kate desperately just want be free.

>>Never easy when you lose a loved one and you’d have to be crazy not to feel any different about it. I would have come to see you even if there wasn’t a problem, you should know that by now.


Sam paused and Kate looked down again. He was right. Sam had become more then just her teacher over the months she had been living in the mansion. He was more like an older brother these days and she knew that no matter what he would be there for her even if he had never said such a thing. Even if she hadn’t looked like she tried to commit suicide he would have still been there making sure she wasn’t headed in that direction.

>>Now tell me about the rain incident…

Kate didn’t talk for a long time as she tried to collect her words. She wasn’t sure how to explain what happened exactly. In her mind it was all so simple but it seemed like no one understood just how simple it really was. To everyone else it was complicated and confusing, but maybe, just maybe, Sam have lived enough of his life like she had that he would actually understand.

“When my mom died, I… I lost myself in it. She was such a huge part of my world that I was shaken. I found myself thinking about all the things that I hadn’t before. Going through my life with a magnifying glass. And when I did that… I saw how isolated I was. I had lived my entire life inside of a gilded cage. Never touching anything or feeling anything unless it was safe. My entire life was planed around my mutation. My mother didn’t want me to turn into my father… but in turn she made me into something so much worse.” Kate paused to collect herself. She desperately didn’t want to show the sadness inside so she took a deep breath and continue, “Sam did you know that I don’t eat anything frozen unless it is prepared for me because it may be to cold for me to touch. I don’t’ know if it is to cold, but it might be and that’s enough. I mean I don’t’ even go into the fridge without gloves on…” Kate took a deep shaky breath. She looked into Sam’s eyes in search of acceptance, but her vision started to blur as the tears welled up in her eyes, “All I wanted to do was feel the rain drops.” And that was the end. The tears started to silently fall and she looked away in hopes he wouldn’t see.

Sam seemed to hit the nail on the head, he knew why she was acting the way she was and now what caused her to want to experience the rain. Nodding his head at her explanation Sam did his best not to interrupt her even though it looked like she was about tot cry. He wasn’t good with tears never had been good with them. Any other emotion or reaction would have been fine and familiar enough for him to handle, those other emotions he had experience the need to cry wasn’t something he experienced often.

Kate paced and turned her body away from him as tears broke through the surface and Sam scratched near his bad eye and he stood. Setting down the half eaten slice of meat lovers back onto the box where the other slices remained. Wiping the hand down that once held the greasy food he placed his hand on Kate’s shoulder the heat from her body was warm to the touch maybe warmer than most people could handle but Sam wasn’t most people.

Giving her shoulder a small tug he turned her around and pulled her in close wrapped his arms around her in a hug. It was the only way he knew how to handle the situation when a girl was crying, hug her and comfort her words wouldn’t be as effective as actions. That didn’t stop him from adding a few words after the hug. ”You know, you should count yourself lucky…” Sam said as he gave her a little squeeze and loosened his hug so he could back up a bit and look at her face.

”Handful of kids here, myself included would have loved to have lived the life you been privileged too.” he paused again to let his sincere words set in, ”You had a family, a mother who cared for you, someone to help you understand your mutation as much as you knew before you came here. Most kids aren’t so lucky, they learn the hard way. So you had to be extra careful, it made you who you are.” Sam included himself in this remembering the frozen body inches from his own when his mutation was first activated, it to was something that made him who he was.

”All you wanted to do was feel raindrops huh?” Sam asked curiously as he grinned slightly trying to cheer her up, ”All you had to do was ask!” Sam was referring to the danger room which once programmed could easily manage a rain warm enough to not harm Kate, heck he could even make a swimming pool for her. ”Even I have to be extra careful with my mutation, gloves a small sacrifice to pay. Just be lucky it is only gloves or a jacket.” Sam reached one hand up and brushed a tear off her face with a warm smile on his own face hoping she would cheer up if he happened to be lucky.

Kate found herself clinging to Sam as he hugged her not really wanting to let go when he pulled away. There was something about him that had felt safe in that moment and she truly wanted to feel safe again.

>>You know, you should count yourself lucky…

She looked up at him and was quite sure she knew what he was going to say. It was something she had heard from her mother when she would ask about why she couldn’t do things like go to school with other children while she was growing up.

>>Handful of kids here, myself included would have loved to have lived the life you been privileged too. You had a family, a mother who cared for you, someone to help you understand your mutation as much as you knew before you came here. Most kids aren’t so lucky, they learn the hard way. So you had to be extra careful, it made you who you are.

“Yes. Some people are more fortunate than others, it’s true. I mean who wouldn’t dream of growing up with the lavish life I did?” Kate looked it CS’s eye, “Not every English Manor is what you’d think… Even a Mansion can be a prison.” Kate moved over to the vanity, sitting down and looking at her red and tear stained face.

>>All you wanted to do was feel raindrops huh? All you had to do was ask! Even I have to be extra careful with my mutation, gloves a small sacrifice to pay. Just be lucky it is only gloves or a jacket.

Kate jerked a little at the touch. People’s hands always felt so cold when they touched her skin, but she was surprised to find that Sam’s didn’t hurt as he brushed the tears from her cheek, “It’s not just the rain you know.”

”Even so, it is still a mansion.” Sam said recalling his dark little cell with the ceiling fan and the lone bookcase and the small bed he had to grow up in when he lived with T.A.T. it was defiantly nothing most people could imagine. Still he understood what Kate was trying to say from what her mother had said Kate was privileged but at the same time very restricted in most of what she did.

Pulling his thumb away from her face after the tear was wiped away he took a step back reading into the body jerk she had seconds before. Once he put a little distance between himself and Kate he took a seat and then folded his hands together and leaned over towards Kate, ”Well Kate, what else other than the rain would you like to experience?” Sam asked curiously as he leaned over and grabbed the box of pizza and took his have eaten slice back.

”How about you start off by experiencing a proper new Yorker diet?” Sam asked as he offered her another few slices of pizza as he sat and waited to hear about what else she wanted to experience.

>>Well Kate, what else other than the rain would you like to experience?”

Kate looked down at her hands in her lap and thought back to all the times she had looked out her window with such longing. There were so many times she had wanted to do what she had done that cold day in December, but never had the courage.

“I think the thing I have always wanted most is the thing that is most likely to kill me very quickly. I mean, I would sit in my window after a fresh snow and just stare out. It was always so beautiful. All I wanted to do was see it up close and in person. Not just from a second story window.” Kate looked up at Sam once again but this time her she had a soft smile on her face, “I used to dream of it you know.” Kate’s smile only grew as she thought of the happy memory, “There’s this lake far into the woods on the grounds of Kirby Hall. And when I was little my mum told me this story about my dad. She said that when they had first started dating he asked her to come to the manor for diner. So, of course she wore her nicest dress and was promptly told that she looked beyond beautiful upon arriving.” Kate’s smile faded slightly as she thought about the other thing she wished she could have, “I believe mum said that his exact words were something along the lines of, ‘You look beautiful darling but you are going to have to change. We’re having a picnic.’ This, of course, caused my mother to remind him that there was foot and a half of snow outside.” Kate giggled slightly, “He took her all the way to that lake. She said it was one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen. He had lit it all around with white lights and lanterns… And right in the center of the ice was this beautiful table. They spent the entire night just talking… and skating,” Kate took a deep breath as she looked at her reflection in the mirror, “I have always imagined what that would look like, but I know out of everything I want to experience that is the one thing I can’t.”