Iris sat on the edge of one of the many large ponds scattered around Central Park, feeding a small flock of ducks that had wandered over. Several uneventful excursions to the mini forest in the center of New York had restored, at least partially, her confidence that not every day had to hold some sort of confrontation. She couldn’t say she was calmer, or that she didn’t flinch at every shadow that crossed her path. But she did feel a bit more.... peaceful.

Then again, several other ‘outside factors’ might have been helping with that area, including her meditation sessions with Garrett.

A slight frown crossed her face. She still wasn’t sure of the extent of his mutation; she hadn’t worked up the nerve to ask him yet, possibly because of the unease her own caused. But she knew it included pain, and that he’d lost control at the Mansion not long ago. According to the assistant Headmistress, it sounded like another Haywire attack. He seemed to have recovered all right, just as she had. Physically, anyway. And while she didn’t really know him all that well, she could tell something had changed.

Now she just had to work up the nerve to ask him about it. If he came. She’d visited a couple of times at the Mansion, but this would be their first meditation session since he’d been declared well enough to leave the Infirmary. She wasn’t even sure if he’d show up. When she’d been in the same position, nearly a year ago, she’d run from her friends. She wouldn’t blame him if he did as well. It appeared Haywire had more aftershocks than a nine-point-oh earthquake.

She sighed, and flicked several pellets at the flock, watching the ripples in the water. Ripples and aftershocks. One deadly, one peaceful, yet both the result of a disturbance in the flow of life. She snorted mentally. No doubt Garrett would find some lesson for her in that thought, some word of wisdom to endeavor to live by.

Maybe she’d keep that little thought to herself for the time being.....

Garrett had saved money for some time, even prior to the incident. He spent a good portion of it before arriving to meet Iris. He had stopped at a tailor and had a suit fitted. Grey. Black leather shoes, polished to match. He had done his best to avoid all black, seeing that as an offset in his personal balance. He had picked up a small pair of dark round wire rimmed sunglasses and a fantastically pristine black fedora from a thrift shop. Topping it off with a lovely gray tie and shirt from the tailor, he went to meet her. He was as comfortable in these clothes as he was in a training gi.

He rounded the bend, finding her near the water. This was not surprising. The environment calmed her and apparently she also calmed the environment. It was pleasing to see that Iris had come so far so fast. She really was something special. He walked closer and stood near her looking at the water. When she glanced at him, taking the moment to recognize him, he tipped his hat. " Iris. Good to see you again."

" Iris. Good to see you again."

Her head snapped around, and she reached out a hand to balance herself from falling over. She repressed the urge to run, though. She'd been trying to work on that 'flight or fight' response. She blinked for a moment, not at first recognizing the man addressing her.

"Garrett!" she finally got out. "Hi! Wow. You look...." Nice? Dressed up? Businesslike? Gangster-ish? Gray? Stiff? "..... different."

She dropped the rest of the duck food into the water and got to her feet, wiping her hands on her jeans. She regarded him for a moment, obviously confused at the change in appearance. Then she realized she was staring, and cleared her throat.

"Sorry. So.... um, good to see you on your feet again." She did not ask if he was okay. That question always sounded.... insincere.

He had obviously startled her. His actual nervous sensitivity seemed to be heightened while his emotional sensitivity had taken a vacation. Something had to go while he recovered though. If he ever truly did. " I apologize if I startled you." She mentioned his different look. He looked down at himself smoothing the jacket out and removing his hat, placing it in the crook of his arm." Yes. I just felt like I should dress for the occasion. Of course, there's nothing wrong with casual attire. I just haven't been feeling very casual since the event."

She stood up and regarded him with a look. It was the same look many had recently, regardless of his clothing choices. There was something different in his voice and in his eyes. He was very aware of its presence, so it was natural that others would as well. She voiced that she was glad to see him on his feet. He was as well. It had taken him some time to get the strength back after such a beating. " Yes, I am getting stronger every day, my friend. You are looking quite well yourself. I suppose I am having some kind of effect on you. I am glad it is a positive one." A genuine smile appeared on his lips. It was an odd sensation.

"I apolgize if I startled you."

Iris shook her head. "No need to apologize. Everything startles me, remember?" She made an attempt at levity, to regain her balance.

"Yes. I just felt like I should dress for the occasion."

Occasion? Since when was a meditation session an 'occasion'?

"Of course, there's nothing wrong with casual attire. I just haven't been feeling very casual since the event."

Ah. No wonder. She nodded, and her hand habitually went to her shoulder. "I can imagine," she remarked quietly.

" Yes, I am getting stronger every day, my friend. You are looking quite well yourself. I suppose I am having some kind of effect on you. I am glad it is a positive one."

She sighed at his last statement. "Okay, now you're starting to sound like me. Like you're expecting something to go wrong. I'm supposed to be the negative one, remember?"

Her eyes went to the ground as she tried to find the right wording for the question she wanted to ask. It took several tries, and she still wasn't happy with the result, but at least her sincerity came out the way she meant it to.

"Are you.... I mean, how bad..... mmm, how do I say this? Um.... Do you need to talk? About it?"

Iris understood him. Of all the people in the world, she could actually know what happened when the poison had been in the stream. He could see the sad knowing in her eyes. She sighed at his comment about being a positive effect on her. Her reasoning was sound. He still seemed to have a problem attaching it to his emotions. Everything was out of sorts.

"Are you.... I mean, how bad..... mmm, how do I say this? Um.... Do you need to talk? About it?"

He looked down at the ground himself. He removed the sunglasses, folded them and put them in his breast pocket. He nodded in reply. " Everything is different now, Iris. I became something. Something...sinister. I hurt the people I cared about. But it wasn't really me. There's no way they can ever understand that though. Maya believes in me, though. That is more than enough. But it doesn't solve my problem. I ..."

He looked back at her, emotion sizzling behind his eyes. " I ..don't feel like myself anymore. I had to fuse that sinister aspect in with myself to save my friends. To save myself. Now I must pay the consequences. My mind isn't fractured. It just...doesn't seem to be mine anymore. That bad part and my self prior to the event are no longer here. Now I am something else. I don't know what I am. I don't know who I am." Tears slipped from his eyes. He sighed. " I don't know if anyone can help me, either. Everything seems wrong. I can tell I am not acting like myself, but it's like...it's like I don't care. The passion that drove me is gone, yet something else sizzles and pops in my core in its place."

Iris knew that Garrett hadn't been around when she had attacked the Mansion under Haywire's influence, or even the months afterward. Yet, what he described feeling and seeing was so similar to her own reaction, it was almost unnerving. And it seemed that once the gates opened, there was no stopping the flood of emotion. She felt sympathetic tears prick her own eyes.

" I don't know if anyone can help me, either. Everything seems wrong. I can tell I am not acting like myself, but it's like...it's like I don't care. The passion that drove me is gone, yet something else sizzles and pops in my core in its place."

She looked around for someplace to sit, his attire not really suitable to sit on the grass. Besides, attempting to meditate at that point seemed inappropriate. Spotting a bench, she motioned in that direction, and sat down.

"It's a scary feeling, isn't it? Not knowing and not caring." She sighed and slouched down in the seat, and leaned back to stare up at the sky. "Kind of like looking into a cracked mirror. You know you're looking at yourself, but the image is messed up. And there's nothing you can do to fix it."

She turned her head to look at him. "Could you see what was happening? Or feel it, inside?" She winced, remembering the pain in her head, like being stabbed, just before the poison kicked in fully.

Then since she didn't want him to think her prying or intrusive, she added, "Everything I saw was warped. I knew something was wrong, but.... I couldn't figure out what. My mind kept telling me that I was in danger, but I guess the signals got crossed about where the danger was."

Garrett followed Iris to the bench and joined her there. he could feel her sympathy. It meant lot to him. The roles were changing now and he could be the student for a change."It's a scary feeling, isn't it? Not knowing and not caring." She sighed and slouched down in the seat, and leaned back to stare up at the sky. "Kind of like looking into a cracked mirror. You know you're looking at yourself, but the image is messed up. And there's nothing you can do to fix it."
It was a very apt analogy. He liked her way of seeing things clearly. She was rather eloquent when she could manage to get her thoughts out. " I can see that. Though I am not scared either. My situation must have been different. I suppose every situation is different with it except that the broken pieces afterward look similar."

She turned her head to look at him. "Could you see what was happening? Or feel it, inside?" He had been clear and honest with her so far. There was no longer any reason to hold back. Were he the teacher in this case, he would know it was futile and only retarded the healing process." In a way. It's best that I explain things fully. When I was in the camps, I was used as a living torture device on other mutants. The things I saw and the things I did defy even the definition of horror. It was all too real so my brain apparently suppressed most of it. Unconsciously, I splintered, creating a wicked persona to do the dirty work. When I was overtaken with the virus, that entity had full control over me and did alot of nasty things. I was locked in my mind, a forced witness to the terror I unleashed."

He sat his hat down on his lap and rubbed his eyes. It felt good to say these things out loud. " At the height of the virus' peak, I was rendered unconscious by Maya. The virus turned on me, having no outlet. I almost died. This demonic visage I had created in the camps turned on me, wanting to kill me. I used the power of the virus to reintegrate it into myself all at once. This was like slapping my mind together with crazy glue, emphasis on crazy. So now here I am. Or here he is. Here we are. It is no longer a present danger, yet it is no longer an imaginary vision. We are combined into the man you see before you."

Garrett started to speak again but held his tongue. It was quite a bit to unleash on her all at once. He shrugged at her and stopped talking.

" I can see that. Though I am not scared either. My situation must have been different. I suppose every situation is different with it except that the broken pieces afterward look similar."

She nodded. She wished fear hadn't been part of her reaction, but was glad he didn't have to deal with it. Plus, a large chunk of her fear had other origins; Haywire had simply been the catalyst.

Iris straightened up slowly as he began describing his experience in the Registration Camps. Her facial expressions ran the gambit between surprise, sorrow, anger, shock, confusion, sympathy, and a few other random emotions. She'd had an inside look at the Church of Humanity, a major driving force behind the Camps. But suddenly she felt as if she'd gone through the whole experience with blinders on.

He seemed suddenly weary, and rubbed his eyes. She reached out and hesitantly squeezed his shoulder.

"Garrett, I'm sorry. I.... I didn't realize you had that much to deal with." She bit her lip, and went quiet again as he continued.

"At the height of the virus' peak, I was rendered unconscious by Maya. The virus turned on me, having no outlet. I almost died. This demonic visage I had created in the camps turned on me, wanting to kill me. I used the power of the virus to reintegrate it into myself all at once. This was like slapping my mind together with crazy glue, emphasis on crazy."

"Heh. Now that I can totally sympathize with," she sighed dolefully.

"So now here I am. Or here he is. Here we are. It is no longer a present danger, yet it is no longer an imaginary vision. We are combined into the man you see before you."

She turned her gaze forward again, toward the lake this time. "And now you have to figure out who you are all over again. All the time wondering if you were always this person before, and was just fooling yourself into thinking otherwise." A quiet pause. "Was it really Haywire, or was it me all along?"

"So.... can you feel him still? Or is it more like..... um, I dunno. I'm sorry," she apologized. "Never mind. It's not my place to pry."

Garrett felt Iris' hand on his shoulder. In a brief moment, she was a sketch of nerves again, just for the moment they made contact. He appreciated her sympathy, it was what he had needed most at the time. he hoped that they would make for good friends as time went by. They certainly were past things in common. Once he finished his little monologue, he remained silent for a moment. The lake was serene. He tried to remember about being like water, but the glass was now permanently stained red.

"And now you have to figure out who you are all over again. All the time wondering if you were always this person before, and was just fooling yourself into thinking otherwise." A quiet pause. "Was it really Haywire, or was it me all along?"

Another valid and piercing question. Was the man in black, the cruel manipulator the real one? Or was the peaceful man, full of meditation and good feelings the one? He remembered the night in Central Park with Petunia. He enjoyed every moment of taking the courier's money. Had he even enjoyed make her seize? His days at the Mansion had softened him up a good deal. They had also made him feel normal again. There was also the point that had he never gone there, he would have never been injected, though. He thought on his Taoist roots. The present is the important part.

"So.... can you feel him still? Or is it more like..... um, I dunno. I'm sorry," she apologized. "Never mind. It's not my place to pry." He looked over at Iris, quizzically. " If it is anyone's place to pry, it is yours, Iris. That is half the reason why we are here, isn't it? To share in our common burden? I know we haven't known each other long, but I want you to be able to trust me as I wish to be able to trust you. As far as his presence, yes. It is more like a general feeling of spite and a slight desire to do harm. I just need to redirect it to those responsible."

"If it is anyone's place to pry, it is yours, Iris. That is half the reason why we are here, isn't it? To share in our common burden? I know we haven't known each other long, but I want you to be able to trust me as I wish to be able to trust you.”

A small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. ”Well, you certainly sound like a couple of my friends.” Although they hadn’t used Garrett’s exact wording, she could almost hear Virote’s and Neena’s voice speaking them.

”As far as his presence, yes. It is more like a general feeling of spite and a slight desire to do harm. I just need to redirect it to those responsible."

”Just a slight desire?” Without moving her head, she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. ”You don’t think, given the opportunity, you would kill them?”

Coming from Iris, such a statement might have sounded harshly out of character, what with her constant anxiety that she might hurt someone. Yet, that thought had crossed her mind many times in the months after her attack. When she had come across Syn during Registration, had the proper gem activated, she might have tried. If the circumstances were right in the future, she couldn’t completely trust herself not to follow through with her desires. She’d felt similar urges regarding Kaz, up until their paths had crossed recently. She was still coming to terms with that conversation, actually. And Hunter? That was just complicated....

A slight breeze blew an early-changing leaf from it’s tree perch, and dropped it onto the lake, sending out a new wave of ripples across the clear surface.

”Have you ever killed anyone before?” She wasn’t sure why, but that question just seemed a natural continuance of their conversation. A discontent frown settled onto her face as she watched the ripples spread.

”Just a slight desire?” Without moving her head, she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. ”You don’t think, given the opportunity, you would kill them?”

Of course he did. He wanted to do much more than that. Killing would be the very last thing he would do . Only when the body literally could take no more and it was no longer amusing. The body was an amazing thing. The amount of pain and suffering it could endure before giving out was really something to witness personally. No end of begging and pleading, cursing and threatening, sobbing and screaming accompanied this masterful symphony. In fact...Wait. was that familiarity in Iris' voice? yes.

Garrett seemed to blink slowly, as if waking from a dream. " Them? It had never occurred to me before. You know who it was, don't you?

" Them? It had never occurred to me before. You know who it was, don't you?"

Though he seemed not to have heard her last question, Garrett's tone of voice answered her first perfectly. Her frown deepened a bit further into a gloomy scowl, and her hand moved to her shoulder.

"I know who did it to me. What happened to you.... It sounds pretty close."

She shifted uncomfortably on the bench, debating what to say. She'd told very few people what had happened to her, and even those few only knew bits and pieces. But never the whole story. But Garrett.... he'd experienced the trauma. And a lot more. 'A common burden', he'd phrased it. He could understand, could sympathize.

"They kidnapped me out of the Park. Not far from here, actually. Me and.... a friend. And several others. I never did find out where we were. I think Neena knows, but she wouldn't tell me, and I didn't press it. I just remember waking up in a cell, like something you see in a sci-fi movie. It felt like being an animal in a zoo."

Her eyes glaze over as she let the long-fought memories flood in.

"Haywire was a mutant. A girl. Named Jack. When she came too close, she made the humans sick, and made us...." She shook her head slowly. "I-I don't really remember what actually happened. Her power made me hallucinate. But I saw the aftermath when I woke up."

She closed her eyes, recalling that dark red stain on the floor of her cell which had greeted her after she woke from the 'test run'.

She took a deep breath and opened her eyes. She couldn't dwell on her thoughts too long. If she did, more than simple guilt and anger began to build, and she couldn't afford that. Instead she turned to look him in the eye, to give herself something else to focus on.

"From what everyone tells me, the second time I lost it Jack was nowhere nearby. I can only imagine that Syn found a way to duplicate the effect remotely. That's what it sounds like happened to you, though I can't say for sure. She was the main one in charge, from what I could tell. I don't know much about 'them'...." she held up her fingers in a 'quote unquote' gesture, ".... or her really. Other than the fact that she has a nasty way of messing with your mind, and enjoys it immensely. I wouldn't be surprised if she would enjoy someone trying to strangle her."

A shudder rippled through Iris's body, sending a wave of goosebumps down her arms.

Garrett listened attentively as Iris explained her own run in with the virus. It was more than a bit unsettling to know that the initial abduction occurred in the same area they were in now, but not enough to make him run screaming. That would only bring him directly to the source instead of investigating. He was interested to find that the original effect came from a mutant. Wasn't so surprising, really. It might even explain why it affected humans so differently and disastrously.

Whoever they were must have somehow extracted the genetic effect via tissue or blood samples from the original mutant to synthesize this virus. He felt sorry for this Jack girl, who was undoubtedly dead or worse at this stage. They were also an organization, a well financed one, one with the resources to orchestrate both attacks as well as formulate a synthetic virus. It was quite a lead.

The biggest lead was the mention of this woman named Syn. She was apparently the leader of said organization as well as a mutant herself, unless the mention of getting into people's heads was just her psychological training. Mutants tended to mingle among themselves, though."This has been very helpful, Iris. You have been a very thoughtful and caring friend so far and I do appreciate it. I really need to find these people. Maybe we could both work together and get some kind of meaningful revenge?"

"This has been very helpful, Iris. You have been a very thoughtful and caring friend so far and I do appreciate it. I really need to find these people. Maybe we could both work together and get some kind of meaningful revenge?"

For a moment Iris though her crystal gem had awakened and shot the rainbow of emotions through her thoughts. Likely he'd be able to see them in her eyes, like watching a slideshow. But they were all hers, not warped in anyway by her mutation.

Revenge would be.... thrilling. To see Syn squirm, to feel the pain she'd imposed returned threefold, or even more?

Another part of her recoiled from the malicious delight that possibility brought forth. Such feelings weren't Iris, weren't her. Yet they were so enticing.

Doubt followed on its heels. What if Syn had some kind of mutation that made her immune to pain and/or suffering of any kind? Or what if she was some kind of psychic, like Hunter? Maybe the whole 'messing with your mind' really was just that. Iris did vaugely remember something about Syn, how persuasive she could be, though her memory was fogged about the details.

Or maybe she was simply paranoid again. Maybe her fear had kept her from doing something that should have been done long ago. Maybe revenge would help her move on. Maybe....

"I-I'm not.... s-sure...." She bit her lip, and looked away. "What were you th-thinking of?"

It appeared that peaceful meditation would not be in the agenda this day.