It was only when she saw Tarin sitting down beside her that Lee realized that she was in the floor. When had that happened?

"I killed him."

Lee just stared at Tarin as he continued, something about Tony and Larry. Tarin had left after her nightmare. He had left to find Anton. And Tarin had managed to actually find the man. Something that the police hadn't managed to do in 14 years. Something that Kevin's father and the X-Men hadn't managed either when she was missing or after she was found.

"He's dead?" Lee asked, shocked. "He's actually gone?" As she sat there and her mind started to actually process everything Tarin had said since he got home, Lee felt a weight lifting off of her that she hadn't even realized was there.

But then she frowned slightly hearing Tarin's voice again. "Hate you? How could I ever hate you?"

”He’s dead? He’s actually gone?”

Tarin nodded, ”He’s dead. I’m sure. I. Made. Sure.” for a moment Tarin’s hands clenched again where they were on his legs. ”I couldn’t stand the thought of him walking around, sharing the same air as you for another second. I don’t care what that makes me…”

Lee was shocked, of course she was. Tarin had just told her that he’d been directly responsible for killing a man. Surely that was a lot to take in.

Tarin knew it was a lot to take in, but he also needed her to say something…to give some indication if he needed to be packing his bags..if she could stand to be in the room with him.

Then Lee spoke again and despite the pounding in his head, in spite of the exhaustion making him want to just lie down on the floor he pulled back and frowned.

”Why did you say that?” he asked, a few pieces coming together in his head, even as it throbbed.

Tony and Larry, and some other spirits, had killed Anton. Tarin had made sure of that. He had made sure that Anton was dead because Tarin hadn't been able to stand the thought of him sharing the same air as her.

No matter what that might have made him. Yes, it was a lot to take in, especially with how suddenly it had happened after so many years of nothing. But it was also such a relief to know that he was gone. That he would never come anywhere near her again.

"Thank you," Lee breathed.

But when Tarin spoke again, Lee's frown deepened. He had asked for her to not hate him, and when she replied that she never could, he was confused? Had Tarin been hit in the head or something while he was out there? Is that why he had looked so bad when he came in, why he still didn't look in good shape?

"I said it because you said 'please don't hate me'. Of course I don't hate you, Tarin. I never could."

She thanked him. Lee actually thanked him and Tarin sagged where he sat, hands bracing on the floor as relief coursed through him.

There was too much to feel, too much to think. Tarin didn’t know how to process it all as he sat there and Lee thanked him for doing the most impulsive and wrong thing that he had ever done.

Tarin had asked a question somewhere in there, something weird was going on but Tarin’s head hurt so bad he was struggling to put it all together.

”I didn’t say that though…I didn’t say it.” he managed to say, running his hand through his hair as he sat there, confused and trying to figure out what was going on.

Doesn't matter, she’s safe, it’s over. She doesn’t hate me…

The way Tarin sagged in relief when she said thank you…It just brought into sharper focus how rough shape Tarin was in as they sat there on the floor, still in the entrance way of their apartment.

Lee frowned more when Tarin repeated that he hadn't said what she had been replying to. Lee had very clearly heard Tarin's voice saying 'please don't hate me'. That was why she had told him she didn't hate him.

"But if you didn't say it, how did I hear it?" Lee asked, growing confused again.

A moment later, Lee shook her head. "You know what? We can figure it out later," Lee said as she got ready to push herself up off the floor. "Lets get you some…"

Doesn't matter, she’s safe, it’s over. She doesn’t hate me…

Lee's words trailed off as she distinctly heard Tarin's voice. But this time, Lee knew for sure,she did not see his mouth move as she heard the words.

"I think this might matter a whole lot," Lee whispered as she stared at Tarin. "Because this…I heard you…"

If he hadn’t said it, how had she heard it?

That’s what Tarin was trying to figure out. That’s why he was so confused. But he was also relieved, so so relieved that Lee didn’t even seem angry.

It made him want to laugh and cry and do all sorts of somewhat ridiculous things.

They could figure it out later. Lee was right. It wasn’t important now. They could just worry about it…

But Lee was getting up, wanted to take care of him after everything that had happened.
”I’m fine…” he started to say, waving Lee off as she moved to get to her feet, ”I just used a lot of my powers…it’s been a long time. I’ve got a headache.”

It feels like my head is splitting in two…just want to sleep…gotta make sure everything is okay…” The thoughts were rapid firing through Tarin’s head now as he tried to take slower breaths so his head would stop hurting so much.

Lee spoke again and Tarin looked up at her.

She’d heard him say that before. But he hadn’t said anything.

”Oh.” he said a bit dumbly, ”Are you okay?”

Tarin used the f-word when she started to say they should get the painkillers for him, and she simply raised her eyebrow at him. She had known the moment she looked at him as he came home that he wasn't doing well, that something was wrong.

Plus, any time that he said that he was fine, he never actually was.

A moment later, Lee heard Tarin's voice again, but when she looked at him again his mouth wasn't moving. How was she hearing him like this without his mouth moving? Without him actually speaking?

Whatever was going on, the second comment she heard did seem to match what she was seeing in Tarin more accurately than that first one where he claimed to be fine.

"But everything isn't okay if you're not…" Lee murmured as she looked over at Tarin.

Was she okay?

Lee took a deep breath, biting her lip as she thought. That was a very loaded question after everything that had happened that night. Was she okay? After the nightmare, no not really. She hadn't been able to fall asleep without seeing that room again. In some ways, she clearly hadn't been okay for 14 years.

Or was Tarin asking whether she was okay after finding out what he had done?

"I'm glad he's gone," Lee said honestly. "I'll grab you some pills and water. We can talk more in bed."

Everything wasn’t okay if he wasn’t okay.

God, Lee was saying every single thing Tarin could have possibly wanted to hear. He knew he wasn’t okay. Knew that he hadn’t even begun to process what had happened that night, what he had done, what it meant.

Lee was also thinking for a long time after he asked her if she was okay. It would have been perfectly understandable if she wasn’t okay. It would have made absolutely sense if she were angry with him, even in her relief that Anton was dead.

So many things would have made sense.

What didn’t make sense was how Lee seemed able to hear him even when he wasn’t saying anything. The headache spiked again and he closed his eyes and clenched his teeth a bit. It really did feel like his brain was trying to crawl out of the front of his head.

They could talk in bed. Again, the relief Tarin was feeling was palpable as Lee said she would get him some painkillers and then they could talk.

Tarin knew he needed to talk. They needed to talk. They needed to get through this now or else it would fester under the surface, he also knew that he desperately wanted a dark, quiet, room.

It didn’t matter though. Not right now.

”I”m okay…” he said again, slowly climbing to his feet from where he’d been seated on the floor and reaching out to Lee where she still sat. ”But that’s probably a good idea.”

This wasn't something, wasn't a situation where you felt happy. Lee was glad that Anton was dead. She was relieved, far more so than even she would have expected. But happy wasn't the right word, emotion.

As it all sunk in more, as Lee actually started to process what Tarin had told her, she was not glad that he was the one who took care of Anton. But Lee also wasn't upset, angry, frightened or horrified by what Tarin had done that night.

Tarin was once again trying to convince her that he was okay, but at least he conceded that painkillers would be a good idea.

Taking Tarin's outstretched hand after he had gotten to his feet, Lee let him help her up. "To crawl back into bed, I'll be right there, okay?"

Lee didn’t say anything more on the subject of Anton, Tarin’s moonlight vigilantism, or the weird thing that seemed to be happening where she could hear things he wasn’t saying out loud.

Lee took his hand and Tarin helped her to her feet, his head pounding anew as all the blood seemed to rush down towards his feet as he stood there.

Had he really just done all of that? It seemed wild, even to Tarin as he stood in the apartment with Lee, talking almost casually about crawling into bed. Tarin nodded to the idea.

Yes…he’d done it. He’d left the apartment. He had hunted a man down. He had used the spirits to kill the same man.

Shuddering slightly at the memory, the sight, the sound, Tarin pushed it all aside for later. It was visceral, but he still didn't’ regret his decision…not even a little.

She would meet him in bed?

”Okay.” he said and started to make his way towards their room.

Getting changed back into proper sleep attire seemed like a gargantuan task, but Tarin managed and then sank down onto the side of the bed to drop his head in his hands. He didn’t lie down, he was too worried he’d fall asleep before Lee was back, so he just waited.

Tarin helped her to her feet and agreed for her to meet him in bed after she grabbed some painkillers for him.

Waiting and watching as he walked down the hallway, Lee then made her way to the kitchen.

Once there, she stopped, leaning against the counter. Tarin had, at some point over the last couple hours, just killed a man. Yes, that man was Anton, who deserved everything he got and then some. But the fact remained that Tarin had left the apartment and killed a man.

And said that he would do it again.

Yes, Lee had caused the death of people before, had killed people. But she had never purposely gone into a situation with the intention of killing someone.

But could she honestly say she never would? Lee knew that if she ever ran across one of the people who had tortured Tarin as a child claiming it was 'training'...

It was all so messed up. Everything about all of this was.

Taking a deep breath, Lee reached for a glass and a few moments later she was making her way to the bedroom with water and painkillers for Tarin.

"Here," Lee said softly, handing them over to Tarin before sitting down beside him.

"How?" Lee asked after a minute. "No one… 14 years…"

Sitting there on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands as he waited for Lee, Tarin had hoped that he’d finally be able to relax. That wasn’t the case though. The longer he sat, the more he was comfortable and safe and secure, the more the realization of what he had done really started to sink in.

It wasn’t so much the fact that he’d thought of it. It was more the act that he’d acted so quickly and so decisively. He’d made the decision, left the apartment, and carried out the plan in just a few hours. He had said he didn’t care what that made him…but what did that make him?

What kind of person just went out and casually ended someone that way? Tarin didn’t know, but it wasn’t anyone good. The problem was, he hadn’t been lying, he’d have done the same thing again. And again. And again.

It was something he was going to have to live with.

The bed next to him shifted under Lee’s weight and Tarin looked over at her as he offered the water and the pills. Taking them quickly, he held the water glass between his hands and tried to focus while Lee spoke.

Tarin didn’t want to talk, but Lee deserved every single answer she wanted.

”I tried.” he said rather bluntly, ”I tried really really hard.”

That wasn’t a very good explanation and Tarin shook his head a little, rolling the glass between his hands, ”I was telling the truth earlier. I pulled together every spirit I could find and sent them to look. They’d lose interest and wander, but I just kept sending them back out. It didn’t even take very long because I knew what I was looking for.”

Tarin had found every spirit he could and sent them out to search for Anton. And because he knew what the man looked like, because he had ended up in her nightmare, it hadn't taken that long.

It really was smart, when Lee thought about it. She just wished it could have been done years earlier.

"Then Tony and Larry…?" Lee trailed off, not saying the entire question out loud but sure that Tarin would know what she was asking.

He wasn't looking at her anymore, though. His head was down, and if his eyes were open he was looking at the glass in his hands. "You know what?" Lee said as she took the glass from Tarin to set on the nightstand. "Lets lay down. Then we can talk some more."

”And then Tony and Larry…”

Tarin nodded and closed his eyes. ”And several others.” he said quietly by way of explanation. ”They were eager to help…I think you’ve made an impression.”

Or the spirits just tended towards disaster and mayhem and had taken the opportunity to do whatever it was that they wanted to do.

Tarin could feel Lee trying to take the glass and he let her do so, turning his head to watch as she put it on the nightstand. She suggested they lay down and talk and Tarin just nodded, moving over to his side of the bed. Should he even be here?

It would be difficult, if not impossible, for someone to trace what had happened back to him tonight, but if they did…

Tarin took a deep breath, forcing himself to be calm. He wasn’t going to do this. Not tonight.

”Are you sure you want me here?” he asked, ”I’d understand….” he asked as calmly as he could.

Tony and Larry, and other spirits, had been eager to help deal with Anton. Because she had made an impression on the spirits? That made sense with Tony, but the other spirits as well?

Once Lee had set the glass on the night stand, she watched as Tarin moved over in the bed and laid down. Lee was just moving to do the same when Tarin spoke again. Asking if she was sure she wanted him there.

Lee paused where she was for a moment as she looked down at Tarin before she finished laying in bed. Turning toward Tarin, Lee reached her hand out and put it on his cheek, gently turning his head toward her. "Always," Lee whispered as she looked at him. "I'm always going to want you, Tarin. That has not and will not change."