Lee was quiet until Tarin apologized and then she pulled back slightly in his arms. Even in the dark he could see the tears on her face and Tarin unwrapped one of his arms so he could wipe them away with his thumb, repeating the action with his other hand before wrapping his arms back around her.

It probably had been easier to deal with when she hadn’t known him, Tarin thought. He couldn’t imagine what it had been like for Lee, having to fight the body and face of someone she cared for. The fight had been brutal too, and the aftermath. It was just another thing about Lee’s past that was sad…Tarin didn’t feel pity though, he was just sad that she’d had to go through it.

Lee pointed out that she had known it was him when the spirit had left because of his eyes. ”Really?” Tarin said, confusion clear in his voice.

Tarin could remember trying to look anywhere but at Lee as she had pinned him to the floor that night in the shop. He’d been absolutely shocked by how she could be so small and so strong…but she’d known from his eyes.

”Never again.” Tarin said, knowing he would probably not promise things he wasn’t completely sure he could accomplish, but if that spirit and ones like it were smart and strong, he’d just have to be smarter and stronger.

Lee just sat there as Tarin wiped the tears off first one cheek, then the other. Normally Lee wouldn't have wanted anyone to see her cry nevermind have them wipe the tears away. But tears seemed to have been more common for her recently.

And she found she really didn't' mind Tarin doing it.

Tarin seemed genuinely confused by how she had been able to tell from his eyes that the spirit had left. "Yeah," Lee replied as she looked up at Tarin. "I was sure enough to almost stop siphoning."

"The pure hatred it was looking at me with was just suddenly gone." Lee explained. Lee lifted a hand to Tarin's cheek as she continued. "Then I noticed your eyes were green. Which makes me think that they didn't look quite the same."

Tarin then went on, though very simply with only two words, to tell her that it wasn't going to happen again. That she wasn't going to have to do, or go through, anything like that again.

At first, Lee only nodded. Tarin had told her this before. "I know," Lee whispered. She believed him. She was sure that it wasn't going to happen again.

Lee explained how she had known the spirit was gone and Tarin tensed a bit at the mention of how the spirit had looked at her. By this point Tarin was mostly able to separate the spirit and himself in his head. Most of the time he was able to differentiate between himself and the entity that had essentially been wearing him as a meat suit and gallivanting around the city at night.

For whatever reason, Tarin just loathed the idea of his face looking at Lee like that. Lee put a hand to his cheek and Tarin leaned into it, trying and mostly succeeding to shake off the ick of that mental picture. Of Lee pinning him to the floor while he glared up at her with pure hatred

Something else she said stuck out to Tarin though and he frowned slightly as he looked down at Lee. She’d mentioned before that she’d realized that night that his eyes were green, but the other part was something new to Tarin.

”Different how?” he asked.

Lee really believed him when he said that it wouldn’t ever happen again and that kind of faith was kind of intimidating. What if he was wrong? He wasn’t wrong…but what if he was?

”Thank you.

Lee frowned slightly when Tarin asked how the eyes were different when the spirit had been in control as opposed to him. It was weird, but Lee really wasn't exactly sure. Well, other than the emotions she was seeing in the eyes. The emotions were so vastly different between Tarin and the spirit that Lee thought anyone and everyone should have been able to see the difference.

But it had only been after the spirit was gone that Lee had realized what colour Tarin's eyes were.

Taking a breath as she sat there, Lee thought back. Lee could vividly remember looking down at Tarin when she was pretty certain that the spirit was gone but was just waiting for him to confirm that.

Lee did not remember nearly as clearly what Tarin's face, his eyes, had looked like seconds before that.

She had been looking at him, watching his eyes for signs the spirit had left, arms and shoulders for any sort of sign he was about to try something. But she hadn't noticed this eyes. "I think they looked darker, maybe?" Lee finally answered. "I'm not really sure. But something changed enough that I noticed."

Lee knew that the possibility of another merge was, well, possible. But Lee truly did not think that it would happen again. Even with the newly found realization that a full merge might be possible even though it had never happened to Tarin before.

But she, the woman who worried and tried to plan for everything, was not worried about another merge.

So when Tarin thanked her, Lee just gave him a slight smile. "Of course," Lee said softly. "Though I'm just telling you something I've believed since the day we went to the Empire State Building."

Lee was thinking hard about how she’d been able to tell when the spirit had left. Tarin knew when he’d known. He’d blinked. He’d blinked and his eyes had responded. Lee had been there, looking down at him, confused and had asked if the spirit had gone.

Then she’d let him go. Almost immediately. At the time, Tarin had been too focused on what had happened, too horrified about everything to think about that. But Lee had immediately let him up and let down her guard. Just like that.

Lee spoke and Tarin pulled back from the memory to look at her as she explained that she couldn’t quite put a finger on what had been different, but it had been enough that she had known. Something had changed.

Tarin nodded. That made sense.

That little smile made Tarin really happy, it was vastly preferable to Lee crying and she assured him that she had believed that it wasn’t going to happen again ever since the day at the Empire State Building.

Now Tarin looked surprised. ”So soon?” he questioned.

”How could you have possibly felt that way then? I was a mess that day…” That was the day he’d almost gotten Lee to leave him at the shop. He’d learned about the other kind of merge that day. He’d had the first nightmare that night…and Lee had already believed that another merge wouldn’t happen?

Lee nodded when Tarin first questioned that she'd believed that about him and merges so soon after they really 'met'.

Tarin went on, asking how she could have possibly known, especially since he had been a mess. Lee just looked back at Tarin levelly.

"You had only had one other merge in your entire life," Lee pointed out, letting that hang in the air before she continued. "There had been multiple merges in just the first year that I knew Kevin's father."

Not all of them had been close to as bad as the merges involving that one particular spirit, but none of them had been good.

"When your second ever merge was because of that spirit, why in the world would I think it wouldn't be the last one?"

Because he’d only had one other merge with a spirit in his whole life? He’d been lucky. He’d been so lucky. If there had been any likely spirits around after the beating he’d taken and dreamed about tonight, if there’d been any likely spirits around during or after that first test…he’d have been easy pickings and he’d be dead.

Tarin didn’t argue though. Who did that sort of thing, arguing when someone had faith in you.

Apparently there had been more than two merges in just the first year Lee had known the other Tarin. It was always strange to think about how the other Tarin hadn’t known, been able, or thought to simply keep the spirits far enough away to minimize contact when contact wasn’t wanted. Tarin didn’t mention that either though, because he didn’t really fancy talking about Lee’s ex right now no matter how long ago that had been.

Lee had faith though, and some of it had to do with the fact that it had taken that particular spirit to bring on a second merge…”I still wonder how long it waited…my guard was only down for a few seconds.” he said, not really wanting to talk about it, but not sure how to avoid the topic. “I learned too though…” And he had, the whole experience, he’d been learning, even if he hadn’t planned to ever need the skills.

It wasn’t ever going to happen again, but if it did, Tarin had at least part of a plan for what he would do.

Letting that hang in the air for a few moments, Tarin squinted a bit into the dark, ”What time is it anyway?”

How long had the spirit been waiting for Tarin's guard to drop? That was a very good question, and unfortunately one they were not going to get.

The other question that they weren't going to get an answer for, at least not for years, was whether or not the spirit would be able to come back again. Could her siphoning actually 'destroy' spirits when she took enough energy during a merge, or did it just deplete their strength to the point that it took years before they were able to link up with Tarin again?

Tarin also said that he had learned, which was good. Not that it was going to happen again, but the more that he knew, that they knew, the more that could be done to prevent things.

And that went beyond just the merges.

When Tarin asked the time, Lee finally pulled away from him and reached out for her phone on the night table. "It's six. Did you want to get up, or stay in bed?"

Lee didn’t say anything when Tarin pointed out that he had learned too, that now he thought he knew what to look for. Tarin couldn’t test out that theory without it actually happening though, so he would hopefully never know if he was right.

When he asked what time it was, Lee pulled away and Tarin grumbled mildly at how cold it suddenly was even if he didn’t know how she was supposed to check the time without moving. He’d tried to check his watch, but along with the shower this was pretty much the only time he didn’t have it on.

Six in the morning. Heaving a bit of a sigh, Tarin ran his hand through his hair. It had been a rather late night, but he was wide awake. He almost asked Lee if she needed any more sleep, but it was finally starting to permeate his thick skull that sleep didn’t work the same way for Lee that it did for him so he took a moment to decide what he wanted to do.

”Might as well get up I guess.” he said, shaking his head. “I could use a shower. Or a run. Or a drink.” Tarin didn’t know what he wanted.

Even though he had been the one to ask what time it was, Lee heard Tarin grumbling a bit when she pulled away so she could check her phone.

Lee was feeling pretty awake thanks to the hugs they'd had since Tarin had woken up, but when she heard Tarin sigh, she realized that he hadn't really gotten all that much sleep. At least not as much as he normally would. They had stayed up later than normal, then the nightmare ended up waking earlier.

"Well, while you decide," Lee said as she slipped out of bed and pulled some clothing on. ''I'm going to go start some coffee. Are you going to want some this morning?"

Lee was doing pretty well. As soon as Tarin said he was gonna get up, she was out of the bed and putting clothes on. What on Earth had possessed him to say he wanted to get out of the bed with Lee? That was a definite tick mark in the bad decision column.

Did he want coffee though? Generally Tarin didn’t love the stuff, but it was good at what it did.

”Yeah.” he decided, “I might skip the run for now and try to go to the gym later instead.” What was his schedule supposed to be like today? Tarin didn’t know and didn’t want to move enough to check his phone and see. He didn’t feel like running though. It did a lot to clear his head, but he was tired and, he thought with a small self-satisfied smirk, surely he’d gotten a bit of cardio the night before.

”I’m going to take a shower and I’ll meet you out there.” he said, still feeling a bit clammy and gross from the nightmare.

Lee was just pulling a shirt on over her head when Tarin answered her question about coffee. It wasn't common for him to have coffee with her in the mornings, but there were days, like after having a nightmare, when he did have a cup.

Not that Lee even really needed the coffee most mornings anymore. Not when she spent the night sleeping beside Tarin and he was more than happy to give her a boost if she was having trouble waking up.

But it was habit; Lee had been downing coffee in the morning so that she could go and actually get energy for the majority of her life at that point. Plus, even though caffeine wasn't as effective for her as it was for most, the withdrawal if she completely cut it out sucked.

Leaning on the bed, Lee gave Tarin a soft kiss. "Don't rush on my account," she told him. "I won't drink all the coffee on you."

Well. Lee was dressed now, so there was no reason to stay in bed. As she leaned on the bed to give him a quick kiss that he returned, Tarin smiled slightly at Lee while she promised not to drink all the coffee.

When she’d gone, Tarin gave himself a moment to drop his head into his hands and try to sort through everything that had happened. There was really too much, and Lee was dead set on denying how much she’d helped…but he’d been sincere when he’d said that she’d made things far easier. Just the thought that someone was out there who would come for him if he needed…maybe the nightmares wouldn’t be so bad anymore?

Climbing from the bed, Tarin grabbed his clothes and quickly dressed before moving to the closet and getting fresh clothes and heading to the bathroom for that shower.

Lee had said not to hurry and Tarin didn’t, but he didn’t dawdle either. Sometimes a shower felt transformative and invigorating, but today it was just a way to feel less awful after the nightmare and maybe clear his head just a little bit.

Soon enough he was emerging from the bathroom and heading to the kitchen in clean sweats and a t-shirt, his hair damp and curling just slightly at the ends. He needed a haircut.

”Did I make it in time? he asked, approaching Lee where she sat at the table, ”Needed to finish the puzzle, huh?” he asked with a grin before heading into the kitchen to get some of that coffee with plenty of milk and sugar before heading back to sit across from Lee.

After she had kissed Tarin, it didn't take Lee long to make her way out to the kitchen and hit the button to start the coffee maker. If they had woken up at their normal time, the coffee would have already been ready for her.

While she stood there waiting for the coffee, Lee leaned against the counter and thought about what had happened and what they had talked about in the however long it had been since Tarin became aware in his dream.

Lee was well aware that there were plenty of nightmares that would have been worse, visually, to have walked into. She knew there were because she had had some as well. Her brain had put together the bedroom she'd walked into when she'd come back from Toronto all those years ago with the body in Central park a few times in the weeks after the merge.

Coffee finally ready, Lee poured herself a cup and made her way out to the living room. Just standing there for a moment. She really didn't feel like watching something, so Lee sat at the table. Slowly, idly adding pieces to the puzzle as she sipped her coffee.

Until she felt Tarin approaching. She shrugged as she looked over at him. "It gave me something to do," she said. "And yes, there's still plenty of coffee."

Once Tarin was sitting across from her a minute later with his own coffee, Lee looked at him thoughtfully for a moment. "How do you feel?" she asked gently. "Anything you want to talk about?"

Something to do. Tarin nodded, he’d occupied himself with getting clean and feeling human again, it was only fair that Lee had found something to do.

As he sat and looked at the puzzle, trying to decide if he actually wanted to attempt to find pieces, Tarin held his cup between both his hands and took a sip. The sugar and the milk went a long way towards improving the taste, but he wondered if the coffee was something he was ever going to get used to. It wasn’t like he’d been an avid coffee drinker on the other side…

Lee asked how he felt and Tarin shrugged, a tight smile forming on his face as he looked back across the table at her, ”I’m okay. It’s just…though to go through it all. Usually.. it’s everything. Beginning to end.” . He shook his head, “What about you? Is there anything else you want to know or ask about? Sometimes it feels like there aren’t words to talk it out, but tonight has been different…easier.”

Taking another sip of the coffee before he set the cup down, Tarin leaned forward and peered at the puzzle pieces for a moment before sitting back, ”The car might have been the worst. I know you’d think it was the cemetery…but I’m really glad you stepped in.”

He paused for a moment, ”Wonder if I can do it for myself next time…”