“Catbird, I need your help!” Zek yelled as he leaped out of the solid white disk that appeared in midair. The disk was edged in orange, showing Zek was emerging from Zekworld.

He was dressed in his customary trench coat, stylishly ripped jeans, t-shirt, and newly added combat boots. He had more blood on him than usual, or was it hot sauce? It had been a busy several days and/or nights.

“The Moontians are on the loose and they’ve taken Big Betty! We need to get her back now or else Tuesday will take on sinister tones!” Zek said frantically as his gaze landed on the coffee maker. “Egads! It’s already started! Cover your creamers and turn your shirts inside out! Or else!”

Zek immediately shucked his trench coat (causing a small avalanche of chocolate -covered raisins to spill out on the floor) and stripped off his shirt so he could invert it. As he slithered back into it and then his coat again, he pulled a pocket watch out of the portal and the portal vanished. “There’s no time to lose!” he cried, his eyes beginning to glow solid white. “Hurry!”

Then some other things started to register for Zek.

“Oh. You’re not Featherbutt. This isn’t his office either. Dang, that’s the fourteenth time today!”

Sometimes it just wasn’t your day.

You wake up several times at night thanks to your daughter having an ear infection. Then you are out of coffee. When you get coffee a guy on a bike hits it with the tube on his back that’s carrying documents. Then you get the call that a government office has been taken over by a mutant terrorist who wants NASA’s budget zeroes out and that money instead spent on mutant related programs. What’s the point of going to the moon if mutants are still being victimized.

That is how Ranger found himself in the middle of a break room, reloading his pistol, when an orange disk popped into existence and a crazy man jumped out of it calling for a catbird.

Ranger’s eyes darted from the man to the door and back.

”No, I’m not featherbutt.” Ranger said confusedly before sniffing the air. Purple! ”Down!” Ranger reached out with his left hand and pulled the newcomer down as a wave of rainbow light rippled through the space they had just been standing. ”If you smell purple… duck… Y’ll understand.” Ranger looked at the plant that was behind him. Where the wave had hit it was deformed and looked like what could only be described as ‘melted pancake’.

“YIPE!” Zek squeaked as Cowboy Man grabbed him and pulled him down. “Oi! Hands off the merchandise! Look but don’t touch, at least until the second date!” he sniped as he slapped the guy’s hand.

Then there were a ton of colors and something about food. “What’s this about purple ducks?” he asked. “Oh, is that for lunch? You know, I guess I could stick around for a bit. I’ll find Carter eventually but he can’t wait a bit.” He checked the pocket watch. Yup. It was still at 2:38, just as it had been for the last several hours. Good. There was still time.

With his free arm, he pulled a fork out of a pocket. “So where’s these purple ducks and will there be dessert?”

Then he blinked and one solid white eye started glowing blue instead. “Y’know, y’all should really fire your interior decorator,” he commented. “Potted slag is so 32 years from now.”

The strange guy swatted at Ranger’s hand and chittered away senselessly. No good deed goes unpunished afterall. And was that a fork? And the guy kept on word vomiting. Ranger gave him an odd look as he questioned the man’s sanity.

Ranger let the man go and stood up. ”There’s a mutant in the building who releases those… rainbow waves. Anythin’ organic they touch wilts into… Whatever that is. It sounds crazy, but when y’ smell purple y’ know the wave is comin’, it travels at half the speed o’ smell.”

Moving to the door, Ranger slid against the wall. He cracked the door open and carefully looked out from the breakroom into the large office space. The cubicles were not full height so he could just see a few heads moving around above them.

”Y’ need t’ get outta here. It idn’t safe.” Ranger brought his SIG pistol up to his chest in a high ready, ”I don’t know what all they can do, but I know I could bring this whole place down on ‘em if it gets bad enough.”

Zek scrabbled to his feet behind McGunman, his eyes literally shining with glee. “Ooo, that sounds fun!” he said, completely ignoring the guy's expression. Forget Carlisle - in fact, Zek couldn’t even remember what he needed Casey for - this was bound to be far more exciting. Rainbow waves of destruction? Zek wanted the person’s autograph! “I want their autograph!” he said.

The dude seemed all serious and intent on stuff, so Zek happily slid along the wall beside him. When the guy opened the door, Zek could hear the mild din of an office. “I’m so scawed,” he said with a titter. “Maybe one of the office workers will give us a papercut!”

He grinned. “Dude, you don’t have to keep upselling me - I’m not going anywhere. You had me at rainbow waves!”

So then Zek just barged into the room. “Hey, any of you see any rainbows? Not the gay kind. Well, maybe the gay kind. I dunno. Not that that’s bad. I’m not a homophobe. My friend might be, might not be. I dunno either. Just met the bloke. But if any of you have seen any rainbows will you please raise your hand?” Zek held up his own hand, a shining white ball of light peeking through his fingers. “Anyone?”

Ranger couldn’t understand what was going on with the portal jumper. The guy was being incredibly cavalier about the whole situation. So much in fact that he just up and sauntered out of the room.

And announced his presence.

A groan escaped Ranger’s mouth as he stepped out the door, smelling purple. ”Duck!” Ranger rolled to the ground before a wave of rainbow passed above him.

“He’s that way! And he found a friend.” A voice called from further along inside the office.

“I’ saw them. They’re mine.” A voice said in reply. The sound moving as the man walked though the cubicle maze.

”One of ‘em manifests echoes of people he can see. Has their powers.” Ranger said to the portal dude. The parking garage under the building was a mess of cars wrapped around concrete from Ranger having to handle an echo of himself. ”Only… different.”

Getting to his feet, Ranger saw a man step around the corner wearing paramilitary garb. He stuck his hand into the cubicle wall beside him and the hand reached out of the wall beside Ranger. Ranger hit the arm and snapped it before shooting at the man it belonged to.

The stench of purple ducks filled the air. “Yowza!” Zek shrieked before dropping flat to the floor again. The rainbow wave washed through the space where his chest and handsome head had been. “I said raise your hand, not raise a ruckus!” he yelled from the floor. “Pay better attention!”

Zek raised the white ball several inches above himself and flattened his palm. The white orb flashed and a three foot wide, one-side white disk appeared above him. He sat up, his torso immediately entering Zekworld and then pulled himself to his feet and stepped firmly onto first base of his personal Yankee Stadium.

The portal vanished and Zek stepped back about a dozen feet, thinking that was about the right orientation to land him in the break room again. He opened another portal and stepped through, appearing (correctly for once) where he wanted to go. Poking his incredibly twisty neck out of the doorway, he shouted as Mr. Military, “Whaddya mean, echoes but different? Separate but equal ain’t the same thing!” He raised his voice louder. “Sorry for my racist friend here! Er, maybe not my friend, but still racist! I think! Just in case stop shooting rainbows! Not that there’s anything wrong with rainbows!”

The man Ranger shot slumped forward. The arm fell free from the wall it had protruded from.

”They seem like they’re you but over time they become unlike you.” Ranger called back to the man who had portaled back to the break room. ”An’ can it with the virtue signallin’.”

Ranger listened for moment and then moved. The cubicle he had been next to flipped over in his direction and then bounced off the floor and rocketed into the drop ceiling. The sudden blast of momentum accompanied by what almost sounded like a cheer from the cubicle. Ranger grabbed a chair from the next cubicle over and spun it like a shot put and with his power’s assistance hurled it through the opening at the mutant who’d launched the cubicle.

There was an audible “Meep!” and the sound of someone hitting the ground. Then the smell of purple.

Zek grinned and his smile just about split his face in two. “Virtue signaling? I’m sure I have no idea what you mean!” he shouted. “I’m not the one with problems about people with colors!” He started snickering until the office furniture was violently rearranged. Then he started clapping. “Hey, do that again!” he shouted.

A prismatic spray of light caught his attention. “Watch out!” he said as he quickly threw a white ball from his hiding place in Gunner’s direction. Actually, it was just ahead of Senor Shooter. The white ball once again vanished and the one dimensional portal appeared again, just in time to swallow the rainbow wave. For anyone behind the portal, all they would’ve seen was the white ball vanishing and then the rainbow lights disappearing past a certain, invisible point. Meanwhile, the white disc of blue-edged light would hide anyone behind it.

As soon as the lights entered Zekworld, Zek doubled over and nearly fell out of the doorway. “Oh dead gods,” he moaned as nausea washed over him. “What in the name of the Flying Celestial Orb was that?”

Ranger was about to hit the deck when suddenly a portal opened and ate the wave of rainbow energy. Ranger blinked then looked to the other man who went from carefree to doubled over and moaning.

”That… Is the threat.” Ranger called back. ”Well, the biggest one.”

Another Ranger echo jumped over where the portal was and landed in front of Ranger. There was a weird double image like the outline of the echo was delayed. It slammed fist forward toward Ranger who simply shot it center mass.

Then Ranger saw another echo moving around wide, it looked like a distorted version of the new guy. Like the echo hadn’t had time to fully render or was built out of incomplete information

Zek panted and planted his hands on his knees as he waited for the world to stop spinning a bit. "That...is just...wrong," he said in between dry heaves. He wiped his mouth with a colorful handkerchief and then tossed it behind him. Rainbow vomit blasts. That's what Zek was gonna call them. What kinda person had that as a power? "I'm gonna need to scrub my brain after this!"

But then more people appeared. One, in particular, looked extremely handsome. "Hey, now you're a handsome fella!" Zek said with a lecherous grin as he stared at the spitting image of himself. Other than the fact the guy had way palers skin, way darker hair, glowing green eyes instead of the colors Zek was using, and wore a bomber jacket instead of a trench coat. Zek's grin faded when he saw that last bit.

"Abomination!" he yelled as he threw a golden orb at the reverse-Zek. The Kez juked to the side and threw a pixelated red and white ball right back at Zek.

"No fair!" the One True Zek shouted as he ducked. Who was this guy, who had his powers but ruined his fashion sense? It was time for the gloves to come off.

Zek took his fingerless gloves off and stuffed them into pockets.

"It's time for the gloves to come off!" he shouted before pitching forward and falling through a new portal into Zekworld which zipped up tight behind him. He fell up a few feet through the air in his world and then popped open a new portal, appearing right over the Kez. Zek collided with him and as they crashed to the floor, he dragged a hacksaw across the Kez's neck.

Their impact against the floor including a moist squish sound.

It seemed the other man took offense at how the echo appeared. Not only did he verbally make his displeasure known, he portalled around and drew a hacksaw across the echo’s neck. Ranger was stunned by the unbridled ferocity of the attack.

‘Who the hell is this guy?’ Ranger thought to himself, only being. Brought back to them fight by the smell of purple.

Ranger dropped to the floor, but then saw the wave coming and did a kick up followed by a jump forward over the wave. It had been angled down at Ranger.

Recovering from knocking the wind out of himself, Ranger. Looked up and saw Mr. Rainbow-to-Melted-Pancake himself. The. Man’s face was stretched with anger as he slowly raised his arms up, power building around them. Ranger rolled into a cubicle and did another. Kick up just in time. Again he smelled purple. This time, Ranger went up. Climbing on top of the cubicle wall with the first thing he could grab off the desk in the cubicle.

Ranger hurled a stapler at the man. A nice red stapler, like the one from that movie.

The man started moving out of the way but was too slow. Lucky for him though, there was a flash and then a beam of light extending from floor to ceiling had passed through it and was holding it in place. It’s momentum temporarily frozen.

”Hey friend, y’ get stasis boy an’ I’ll get ol’ Rainbow-Mess.” Ranger called out. The man was in the situation now. Might as well see if he could be helpful.

The Kez beneath Zek gasped and then began dissolving into thousands of pixels that drifted away like technicolor dust. "Dang, now that's a nifty way to go," Zek said with a respectful nod. So pretty. Zek knew he could do better though. If he ever died, it was gonna be a night burned into the minds of the entire world forever.

Golden light shone from Zek's eyes as the smell of purple filled the air. "Ah!" he said before ducking under a chair. Rainbow light flashed overhead and suddenly bits of the chair started melting. "Nope!" he said and touched a golden ball to the chair. "Nope nope nope nope nope!"

Now he had a chair in his pocket. A melting chair.

But Zek wasn't gonna worry about that just yet. Office hijinks were in the air. Frozen in the air, to be precise.

"I don't know who you're talking about!" Zek yelled before throwing a red orb in the direction of Roy G. Bivowhack. It turned into a chair that abruptly began falling to the floor.

Rainbow lights were flashing. White lights were strobing and making things not move. Zek himself was flashing with gold and red light. Then he got a terrible, dreadful, wondrous idea.

"Bee are be!" he said and he rolled over and into a portal to Zekworld. Two portals later (he messed up the first one) a hand stuck out of a plate-sized portal and flicked the light switch, shutting off the typical fluorescent harsh office lighting. The hand retracted back into the ring of light and the portal shut behind it. Seconds later anothe portal appeared near Shooty McGee and Zek popped out with a gun of his own.

"Haven't use this since that sewer clown fiasco!" he said, flinging a few lit flares around the office and taking aim with his gun. His paintgun. With balls filled with glow-in-the-dark paint.

"Now it's a party!" he yelled, as he ran out into the darkness and began shooting everything that moved.

Ranger was annoyed. He wasn’t used to people’s complete failure to comply in tense situations. At least, the ones who seemed to be on your side. Maybe it was his failure to communicate, maybe it was this man’s inability to quickly make a tactical assessment of the situation. Didn’t matter.

The man was throwing orbs that produced chairs of melted pancake at Rainbow-trash. Ranger mentally switched targets when the lights went out. Not an expected development but one Ranger was equipped for. His eyes shifted to perceiving the world in the infrared spectrum. Now not only did he see where his targets were but where they had touched. Where they had been.

Ranger started firing at the man who had stasised the stapler when a portal opened near him and the man stepped out.

With a paintball gun.

And flares.

It was then that the man did the unexpected and ran out into, what to him must have been, the darkness. Ranger, his opinion of the man changing, vaulted forward into action. Speed and violence was the answer. They now had the dark on their side.

Ranger fired, his shots ripping from the darkness and pinning down Stasis man, Painbow, and a third mutant who was stumbling into sight. Bullets bounced off of him. Interesting.

Things were starting to get very fun now! In the darkness, colors and lights emerged as Zek's paintballs went flying in every single direction as if fired by a madman with no ability to aim. Within minutes, the office space was starting to look like Jackson Pollock had gone on a murder spree on a herd of unicorns. Glowing rainbow liquids were covering all kinds of things.

Zek stopped firing only when he ran out of paintballs. "Aw," he whined. "I knew Castle didn't reload these things," he complained. "Hey, Gunner! You got any glowy paintballs?"

A flash of rainbow light streamed toward his general direction and Zek ducked down behind a semi-glowing desk as the melting rainbow missed him by yards. "Hey! Cut that out!" Zek said, tossing the now stupid gun overhandedly in the general direction of Chromageddon.

Then a large shape loomed out of the darkness, blocking the light of a flare. It wasn't shooting a gun so Zek figured it wasn't the guy he was currently teaming up with. "Outta my light," he said, thrusting a golden orb at the figure in order to make it go away.