November 19th, 23:57

Noel was feeling... stupid. Stupider than usual, but not in an intelligence sort of way: in a "where has my brain gone?" sort of way. The number of sticky notes around the BlacTac apartment had quadrupled in the last 24 hours in preparation for the inevitable. Because this baby, like it or not, was inevitable. She paced a bit in the kitchen, stopping to sip some mega cold water and feel the kidlet squirm.

She couldn't do this... her body didn't feel like her own. There was a freaking watermelon in the way, her calves and ankles were swollen for no apparent reason, she felt simultaneously heavy and droopy and out of energy, but also twitchy. Like she couldn't sit down. Lord knew she wasn't sleeping well these days. Laying down meant the dance party in her belly would kick into high gear.

Noel's phone ticked over to midnight and a slew of reminders started making her phone buzz in her hand. Most of it she remembered, but there was one that stood out from the rest.

Text Ria. Ask if the deal's still on.

---

November 24th, 13:00

She was gonna throw up. They'd finally decided on a name and now Noel had someone to curse directly in her head. But she preferred to think of their baby girl as the spawn of Satan himself when she was doing something unholy to her ribs. Like she was now.

The doctor said that the baby hadn't "engaged" yet and Noel was ready to get out a rolling pin and make her. Was there a trampoline she could jump on? A carnival game that might spin her around and centrifuge a baby out?

Noel was going crazy since she'd started her maternity leave and had nothing to do but suffer. Sometimes, she could see the whole rotund mountain of her belly tighten up after she indulged in the urge to scrub the nooks and crannies of the apartment with a toothbrush. Other times, she was terrified that she was somehow messing this up. Had the kid moved in a while? Noel gave her belly a nudge and when nothing happened back, she gave it a more forceful shove.

She got an punch straight down by way of reply.

---

November 25th, 20:00

She couldn't be sure it was time. They had to be sure, first.

Noel paced the length of their kitchen again with her sunglasses on despite the fact that the sun had already gone down. She was still breathing fine, but did have to take a break every once in a while to let a wave of discomfort pass. Michael was hovering, and sure... that was valid.

Was it go time?

"I'mma take a shower, first. Maybe they'll stop." So far, the contractions had stopped every other time they'd started. Did things feel different this time? Only because everyone around her was acting like she'd explode soon.

She secreted a text to Ria and by the end of the shower, she absolutely didn't feel any better.

With sunglasses still dripping water, Noel finally acquiesced. They could go to the hospital and let a doctor tell them they were both overreacting.

"It's fine. We're allowed to overreact. It's our first kid."

---

November 26th, 0:00


There were fresh humiliations around every corner. And, also, contractions. After observation, they were admitted to a room. THE room where IT was going to happen.

For days Ranger had been ready. At even the slightest indication that it might possibly be time to go soon, he was ready to grab a go bag and get Noel to the hospital. The concern was not that he would forget the go bag but rather that he would grab the wrong one. A bug out bag would not be so helpful in the delivery of his child.

The excitement and nervousness made Ranger less effective at running BlacTac. It was a good thing that the business had been slowly restructured to where it could operate with Ranger being MIA as that seemed to happen more frequently than it probably should. At least that time it was understandable.

Finally, one night, it was go time. Noel had taken a shower to see if the contractions would stop. While she did, Ranger found himself getting ready to go for the umptenth time. However, that time was different. When Noel stepped out of the shower, her sunglasses still dripping with water, she said it was go time. Well, she had said they could overreact, but the effect was the same.

Operation baby torpedoing was a go.

”Y’ head down t’ the car. I’ll get the bag.” Ranger hit the remote start on the hellcat tamer and grabbed the bag before heading down to meet Noel in the car.

Several hours later, Noel had been checked out and, yes it was go time. Noel was moved to the delivery room. The room was one that was waiting for Noel.reflective surfaces were replaced or covered by something more matte. The staff had been informed that they shouldn’t look Noel in the eyes. The sunglasses were a good idea, but delivery likely was like battle. No plan survives first contact with the enemy, or in this case the delivery.

Only a couple minutes after Noel was set up on the table, there came a knock at the door. Ranger turned to see it open and his eyes widened.

”Howdy, yall.” Rhia took a step into the room and smiled at Ranger and Noel, ”A little birdie told me this was your doing, Mikey. Only fair you… see it through to the end.” Rhia said it with a laugh before she called up her power.

”Oh no.” As Ranger spoke he had a moment where time seemed to stretch as he felt like he was flowing out of his body and toward Noel. The sensation was immediately replaced by the pain of a contraction, ”Oh God. Oh no. No no no.” Ranger then looked to Noel with an unspoken question, had he called Rhia to meet them at the hospital? Then she looked away, remembering she had agreed to this when they first learned Noel was pregnant.

Ria arrived and Noel did her best to keep the squiggling to a minimum.

Best. Decision. Ever. Noel closed her eyes and relaxed into the swap. It wasn't that she was used to it, but that literally anything was better than how she was feeling before. She'd felt trapped and tired and sore and so intolerably miserable before. Now...

"Have I ever mentioned you're my favorite person, Ria? You're my favorite person. New best friend." And by golly Noel felt so light. Michael's body twirled around and bounced from one leg to the other, entirely missing a wave of contractions that the real Michael was enduring in her usual body. "Look! I can even, like- fit places!" Michael's body squeezed between two pieces of equipment to stand near the head of the bed that her own body was writhing against.

Ugh. Fine. It was probably time to get serious, even if Noel-in-Michael's-body could not stop smiling.

"Aren't you glad we both went to those classes?" Noel put his man hand out and held onto the real Michael's Noel!hand. "Squeeze my hand if ya wanna. If you wanna get up and move around y' can. I bet rubbing your back between waves would not go amiss either." Since he knew just what was wrong, he was absolutely the best person to suggest a fix.

"Ria, would you be a dear and see if they're calling that anesthesiologist?" Because Noel knew Michael's strength, and he knew his own, and he wouldn't be surprised if things were ramping up quickly based on the terrible bone grinding crush happening to his hand. Not that he would complain. Anything was better than what Noel's body was doing.

"Doing great, sweety." Noel secretly resolved to take a nap soon. A nap with no watermelon acrobatics to distract.

Rhia smiled at Noel, ”You haven’t and I think you might be my favorite person. Calling on me to use my power for such a noble endeavour.”

The joy of the moment was lost on Ranger. She was writhing on the bed as Noel was testing out his non baby laden body. Ranger tried to remember the breathing techniques from the classes she and Noel had attended. Ranger’s job was supposed to be to help keep Noel remembering to breathe. Suddenly needing to be the one birthing the child, Ranger had to actively try to recall the technique.

Ranger nodded while blowing out a long exhale and taking Noel’s man hand. Had Ranger not gone to the classes with Noel the experience might have been worse. Maybe. Ranger had nothing to compare it to. She would follow Noel’s advice though and squeezed on Noel’s hand to help her through the pain. She didn’t hold back, Noel’s manhand could take it. Ranger was well aware of how much punishment that body could take.

”Yes. Drugs… Bring the… Epidural! I don’t want to torpedo this thing sober.”

”On it coach!” Rhia turned and slipped out of the room.

”I feel like I should say, y’ owe me f’r this.” She said knowing that Rhia was right. In a world where Rhia existed, Ranger should bookend the experience. The fun at the front, the pain at the end. ”Besides, jus’ a few hours o’ drugged up then it’s over, yeah?” Some labors went quickly. Ranger hoped this was one of those some.