Great. His underwear was being held hostage. Normally Hugh didn’t mind an incident or two or public nudity on his record, but given that SUPER was in the midst of rebranding, it was probably better that this situation was rectified as quickly as possible. He had no problem diving into the blondes sweatshirt to grab his property but such an incident of manhandling out in public would probably earn him a few scowls back at the office.

Le sigh. It seemed he was going to have to improvise yet again.

He shrugged to the blonde. ”Feel free to keep dem, cher,” he sighed. ”Though you should know they sat on da floor of a cheap stripper's apartment for several hours.” Also, it touched both of their faces. May the odds be ever in their favor.

His gaze swept back to the male and his funnel cake. He joked about wanting to see the leopard print back at Hugh’s place. The soldier smirked, his head tilted as he watched the younger guy give him the once over. Unashamed, Hugh stood there, waiting until their eyes met again -- at which point he winked.

”If you wanted an invitation to my place, you had to just ax,” he said with a laugh.

However, he moved past the younger man and approached a street vendor that was selling tourist clothing of New York. He had been in the process of opening up his stand when the commotion happened. He only snapped back to it when he saw a very nude Hugh Manning approach. After a quick interaction, Hugh produced some money from his wallet, took a pair of sweatpants and slipped them on rather haphazardly as he approached the duo once again.

The guy figured the vampire to be dead anyways (vampire and all) and Hugh rolled his eyes. ”Dere is no such thing at actual vampires. She was just a mutant having a shitty morning.”

Then again, she did put the public at risk so a trip to the police was probably in order. A doughnut was offered. Hugh lit up.

”Oh! Thank you. Haven't eaten all morning und I burned beauxcoup of calories back dere.” Taking up one of the chocolate twist doughnuts, he bit into it with satisfaction. Lissen,” he said with a mouthful of doughnut. ”If dat mutant is still alive, I need to take her into custody. She was disturbing da peace und put beauxcoup of lives at risk. Can you produce her again?” He asked and then waggled his brows with a wicked smile. ”Cooperate und you may get to see dat leopard print after all.”

"OoOoOoo, pre-seasoned boxers." Yep, they were definitely her's now. Going in the pile with all of the other interesting articles of clothing she'd stolen over the years.

But, oh, the fun wasn't done yet.

Juniper stood slightly off to the side with her new funnel cake in hand, shifting her eyes back and forth between Zek and Happytrails. Was.... was that blatant sexual tension? Was... was this a real like Yaoi instance about to go down?!

She gulped down a bite of cake, loudly, and continued watching the both of them as they sized each other up.

Happy trails ruined it all though, at least temporarily, by heading off to buy pants. Pants that she had the immediate urge to steal, and then hightail it for the hills while she still had her funnel cake in hand.

"I mean, vampires of myth could have just been really horny mutants, right?" Cuz, like... they were always hunting sexy ladies and junk.

Oh, lord, the flirting was back on. Was it getting hot out here? She kept her mouth clamped around her own food, just watching as slyly as she could. She wasn't about to muck up getting himself some fine buff booty if he wanted to.

Zek smirked at Juniper as she unabashedly kept her purloined boxers. He figured they’d feel right at home in her apartment by her stripper pole, then.

And then Shia Le Buff was talking to him. “Oh. I would like an invitation to your place, then,” Zek said with a shrug. Who knew what was there? Worth taking? Or worth rescuing from the icy clutches of a freezer? What if this man had abandoned ice cream there?! It would be Zek’s solemn duty to investigate.

Then Shia in Le Buff walked away for a bit. Okay, so that was over. Zek held his hand up to his face and inspected his nails. Hmmm. He could really use a good manicure.

Oh, Nipples Galore was back and once again nearly poking Zek’s eyes out with those things. At least he’d put his dinglehopper hopper away. Honestly, what kind of a model didn’t wear clothes? Did this guy think he was an emperor or something? Zek tsked tsked.

And a donut was taken. Zek snag chocolate covered creme-filled one and took a massive bite out of it. “So what you’re saying is,” he said as he licked some of the white creme off his face with his very blue tongue. “My wooden stakes wouldn’t have been effective against her then?” No, that couldn’t be right. Sharp pointy objects were effective against just about everything. “No, that can’t be right. Sharp pointy objects are effective against just about anything.”

He paused. “Well, maybe not dogs.” Of course he hadn’t been able to try it yet, and the last time he’d suggested it Catbird had suggested using the food kind instead, but he figured those demons were harder to kill than vampires anyways.

The way this guy was talking made Zek suspect he was a total amateur. Yeah, he had some moves, but who fought vampires naked? Zek leaned in and sniffed real quick. Yep. Not even garlic cologne. He rolled his eyes.

“Again, pretty sure she’s not alive, but whatever, potato, tomahto. I’ll take her down to the precinct later.” And maybe there was a bounty on her. Or at least a wanted poster. Weren’t vampires still considered dangers to society? Or were they sex symbols? Eh, he could never keep that straight. And Juniper’s well-researched advice from the sidelines didn’t help whatsoever.

And then Sweatbottom did something with his eyebrows and smiled weird. And talked about cooperation. Was that a threat?

Eh.

Zek shrugged. “Sure. Why not?” He figured if this guy wanted to do something, Zek could always sic vampire lady on him. And if he killed her somehow (which zek highly doubted since the guy had done so terribly the first time around), Zek could always unleash the attack demons on him. Especially if the guy’s modeling was bad. Or if he continued failing to keep his clothes on. Like seriously, Zek doubted these pants would last five minutes, based solely on the five minutes since he’d first seen the man.

“Hey Juniper!” he called out with an abrupt ninety degree twist of his neck. “Hear that? Fashion show at Beardy McMuscles’ place. You with?”

Well, for the most part it seemed like his job was done. Though, to be honest, he actually wasn’t out on a job. He had been pulled into a situation that he was forced to finish, or others were forced to finish for him. The vampire mutant had not been an assignment but once she got aggressive and went on the attack, ignoring several warnings for a S.U.P.E.R. official, she made herself an assignment.

Besides, he did the public a service. Destruction of public property, disturbing the peace, threatening innocent lives, the least she needed was to spend some time in a holding cell until she calmed down. Then again, maybe that was what she was already doing in Mr. Blue-Tongue’s pocket.

Hrm. Maybe he’d be interested in joining S.U.P.E.R. They could use a mutant with abilities like that.

But first he had to get the two to cooperate. As it turned out it seemed that his boxers were in no way coming back. Whatever weird fetish the blonde had, more power to her. He wasn’t going to judge. And the other, the guy, he seemed aloof to anything that was really being said. His insistence that they were dealing with a real vampire made things more difficult and Hugh really didn’t feel the need to continue to argue that the vampire was just a mutant.

Do so would probably only dig him deeper into this mire of madness.

At least Zek was cute. Hugh had done worse. An invitation was offered -- return the vampire to the precinct and there could be a little reward in store. At least one of which would be a view of Hugh in his silk, leopard-print boxers. If anything that alone should have been enough of a temptation.

In the end, both Juniper and Zek seemed apparently up for a show. Hugh arched a brow, eyed the two of them, and then shrugged his shoulders. ”Well, not my first threesomw,” he beamed. He then turned and waved down a taxi. As the yellow cab pulled up, he turned to the other two. ”If you both are interested in continue da conversation, please hop in. If not,” he turned back to Zek. ”get dat vampire down to da precinct. She’s going to be need to be held until all dis is cleared up. Got it?”

He then climbed into the cab. Whether they joined him or not, it didn’t matter. To be fair it didn’t really matter what happened to the vampire. Again, she wasn’t on the official S.U.P.E.R. assignment. At the end of the day, all that Hugh knew was that he needed to get home and into a change of clothes.

Juniper glossed over 90% of the conversation to focus on eating and not getting drawn into something she knew very little about. Until Zek spun his head around and asked her about a fashion show.

"Are you kidding? I'm totes in!" She'd never been to a fashion show before. Where was it at? Was it hot models?

Happytrails cut in, mentioned a threesome, and her head whipped around to him fast enough her neck popped audibly. Thankfully it was the good kinda pop, and not the look-like-Zek-but-dead kinda pop. "...We're having a threesome at a fashion show? Those exist?!"

This... was not how she had imagined her day going. What had she even started out doing?

She waited for both of them to climb into the cap and then clambered in on top of them mostly phased to smush her tiny self into the middle. Phased, and sorta sitting inside of various parts of the both of them.

"So you're a cop?" He'd said something about a precinct. She didn't know much more than that. "They should provide underwear with the uniform." or maybe they had, and she now owned a pair of bonafide leopard print cop undies? Neat!

"I'm Juniper, by the way."

Zek rolled his eyes as he climbed over Lame Van Helsing. Did Zek look like an amateur? Bilbro Baggipants was the amateur-sounding one, what with his continual losing every, from his clothes (twice!) to the simple melee with Vanna Vampira. Like, who had actually been effective during all that?

The donut box had vanished again but Zek’s donut was now in his mouth, which was the only reason Zek wasn’t already saying something. However, he couldn’t help biting just a little bit more into the creme-filled center just as he had ducked his head inside the cab (deliberately choosing the entrance that would be the most awkward for Pecsalicious) and glob of creme may or may not have squirted out of the donut onto Major Muscle’s pants.

Then Zek found his seat and not long after that Juniper found both his seat and Shirtless Wonder’s seat as well. Zek mentally shrugged. Least he still had elbow room. Even if the elbow was in her chest area. Or down in her stomach. Or back at her chest.

The one-winged chicken dance was actually pretty fun.

Zek continued to eat his donut handlessly, cleverly guiding the donut into his mouth with his nimble tongue as he re-appeared the donut box in case Juniper wanted one. He didn’t bother opening it because honestly, what would be the point?