If Xavier thought he was confused, juniper was even more confused.

"Okay, everyone just @#$%in' hold up for a minute!" She reached out to snag the weapon from the small blonde woman before she could damage the... um... hostage? Was he a hostage now?

She kept a grip on the taser as she rubbed her other hand on her face for a moment and tried to think about what to do. "No more electrocuting the assassin until I figure this out."

After a beat she decided to deal with the girl first. Was Adonis safe to talk around? "Absolutely not. He is the exact opposite of safe to talk around." She wagged the self defense weapon at the blonde, "And no, he's not a naked man servant, I... don't know why he's naked."

She blinked at the boy, entirely unfazed by his glorious nudeness. "Why are you naked??"

Shaking herself, she tried to move back onto more important things.

"How the heck did you even find me, though? I never told you my full name before you ghosted me." She glanced down at the weeping man on the floor literally at her feet. "Though, I guess whoever this is found me, so that must be easier than I thought."

Hm. She'd have to think on that one, wouldn't she?

Anyway, back to the important stuff!

"Xavier! Go put clothes on before you get eaten alive by her eyes. Sheesh!" She stepped over the man on the floor and started pushing and gently shoving the taller boy toward their shared wall.

She also tried to ignore the fact that even though he desperately tried to cover up his front, his ass was going to be seared into her brain forever now.

"Don't come back until you are clothed!"

Once he was safely on the other side of the wall, she headed back over to join the other Blonde and handed her taser back. She'd been angry at seeing her smug little face at first, but she had mentioned that she had brought her payment from the last job... so bygones could be bygones.

"The whole $1500?" She asked, crossing her arms and none-too-gently kicking the foot of her would be assassin to make sure he was still living. "What's this other job? More blackmail kissing? Oh, right, how did the last job turn out, did you get your leverage on that guy?"

L was told not to taze. She pouted visibly, throwing out an, "awh!"

Xavier blanched and spit out the word. "Assassin?!" before looking at both of them confused again, and then turned to Juniper as she asked why he was naked. "Uh, my powers sometimes-"

He was cut off by Juniper asking L something. L shrugged. "I have pictures and... a lot of people know you! Like, lots of guys. Oh! The ice cream man pointed out the building though. He's a pretty cool guy."

Xavier's eyes were spinning like they'd been replaced by @ symbols as they talked, and he wavered in place. Was this a nightmare of some sort? It had to be, right? He wasn't wearing pants. Juni shooed him away, and he looked down at the guy on the floor for a second, and then nodded sheepishly, wandering out toward his apartment in a haze.

L smiled smugly as she held out the envelope. "Told ya, Tater, 1500 bucks!" She crossed her arms, and waggled her eyebrows, looking down to the assassin. "I mean, this guy didn't drop by for no reason. Didn't think he'd try and get rid of you, though. You cool with that?" She shrugged. "Anyway, How do you feel about cults?"

With the tall, beefy blond gone they were down to just two blondes.

"I am seriously going to seriously have to stop bringing people over to my apartment if they are out there actively giving directions to strangers. Like... for reals, who does that?" Matteo she could see pointing out the general direction of where she lived. That man didn't have a mean bone in his body and probably couldn't resist helping out another little blonde girl.

Tater? That was a new one. "Thanks." Taking the offered envelope, Juniper opened it and counted out the money quickly. Indeed, there was 1500 in there. She was pleased, even if it had come a little later than expected. Tucking it back in the envelope, she dropped it on her coffee table to deal with later and turned a questioning look back at the shorter Blonde woman.

"Other than him destroying any hopes of me ever getting my security deposit back for this apartment, or accidentally hurting my cat, i'm not bothered." She lied straight through her teeth. She was definitely shaken up being someone coming to her home to try and murder her. That wasn't an every day occurrence, after all... but like hell was she gonna show it in front of the blonde.

Jesus, she didn't even know the girls name yet!

Juniper squinted slightly at the mention of cults. "...I'm not terribly fond of them.... Why? Also, what the hell is your name, because I am getting tired of calling you 'Blondie' in my head."

"Jees, that man's thighs could crush cocrete... and yet his @$% looked like it was as soft and supple as a georgia peach. Did you order that sumbitch online or something?"

She paused as Juniper complained about being found and shrugged, walking over to the couch and leaning over the back to fall onto the cushion, her legs hanging over the back. "I dunno, maybe don't @#^& everything that doesn't look like david @#$%ing letterman? I swear you'd bump in the bushes with a spork if it sang well enough. Probably letterman, too, based on some of the guys I talked to." She sounded casual about it, but honestly, she was super jelly. But not, because cooties, but yes because cooties weren't real.

#@$^ she needed the bottom 75% of puberty so bad. The girl wasn't bothered by the assassin? Really? Damn. Niel Degrasse Tyson eat your heart out, we really did have a bad ass here!

She asked the ever important 'why', "Oh, cause there's a cult. Well, they think it's a cult. Rumor has it they hate mutants, so I was figuring you could pop in with your normal looking self and just take a gandie for me. Another 15 smackers in it for ya!"

She paused, and her head poked up over the couch cushions when the girl asked her name. "... What's wrong with Blondie? I like Blondie. I'm Blondie, you're taterthot. Done."

There was absolutely no way she could have kept the spit take that sprang out of her at the Georgia peach comment, even if she had wanted too. It was too goddamn funny! "Yep. Montana mail order bride." She cackled like a banshee for a full minute, before calming enough to dry her eyes and resume conversation. "Have at him if you want, we're just friends." Though, she supposed looking so young might be a bit of a problem. Meh. "Heck, i'd even pay to see you get through the thick ass barrier he's got up deflecting all of the googly eyes constantly being shot at him."

Juniper blinked at the blonde, heading into her kitchen to get bottle of water for herself. After a moment of thought she grabbed another one for Blondie and headed on over to stand in front of her coffee table. The extra bottle ended up on that table for if Blondie wanted it.

"Sounds easy enough. Sneak into the mutant haters club and... spy on them? What kinda information are you looking for? How many are active in it, what kinda sneakers they wear, what?" She lifted the bottle to her lips for a drink. This job honestly sounded easier than the last one. At least this time around she wasn't going to have to kiss some gross old man.

The phaser snorted, but relented. Blondie it was! "Taterthot. That... is probably the most inventive one I have heard yet. I like it!" She took another sip of water before setting her bottle down.

"When would you need this job done by? I have other priorities i'd have to work around, but... hey, money's money."

She glanced back at her the man attached to her floor and sighed. "... What are we supposed to do with that guy?"

"@#$^, they make them like that in Montana? I thought they only had grass and cows out there." She popped back behind the cushion when Juniper offered her friend... Well, shit, it didn't exactly work like that, did it? She gritted her teeth a little bit, and rolled off of the couch.

"Eh, he's probably just into boys."

She walked around the couch and over to Juniper, her hands on her hips as she looked down at the man stuck to the floor. "Thanks, I like it, too."

She nodded her head about. "Something like that. Just go there, tell me what you see. Make them think you're a human... I dunno. Maybe go a few times if you need to. Then see what they are up to. See if the rumors are true."

The bottle on the table remained completely ignored. She didn't need to drink, after all.

"I dunno... Couple weeks I guess. It can't be a scary as this was, right?" She looked down to the man, who was struggling still. "Good question. Got a hack saw?"

And then the door burst open, and...

A man in a cape walked in. Holy @#$% is was montana. L looked at him with a flat expression, and then eyed the number on his chest.

"That the goin' rate?"

He... was still so confused. He wasn't naked anymore, though, so that was a thing.

All he knew was this. He heard gunshots. He saw a girl tazing a man in the taint. That man was an assassin. He was trying to kill Juni. Juni knew the little girl. The little girl was incredibly inapropriate. They'd both seen him naked.

Oh god, his best friend had seen him naked. Awkward.

They were going to talk business? Oh @#%^, was the little girl Juni's pimp?! Was Juni in some real trouble? Was she so intertwined with the crime networks he so desperately wanted to week out of the city?!

Or did she just need to be in the witness protection program?

He needed answers. So, clothed once more, and confident, he strode into Junipers apartment once more, his hands at his hips, his cape waving.

The little girl asked him how much, and the grimaced. "Uh... no... No, it's my hero name... one in a million. Cause... the odds..." He didn't like this little girl. She was some sore of villain, he was sure.

Well, spending a week trying to get dirty on a place was new territory and not as easy as she had first thought, but... she could just swing by a few times here or there and see what was up. It would still be a relatively easy paycheck. "Deal. We'll have to exchange contact info so you can send me the details for where exactly this place is."

A hacksaw? The blonde saw the man on the floor snap back away a little more and snorted again. "Unfortunately, no. I've got a rusty butter knife though."

Aaaand, then Xavier was back. And in his costume.

Uh oh, he was doing that hands-on-his-hip-serious-business thing again.

Thankfully Blondie distracted him before he could launch into it. Juniper barely covered up a laugh with a cough and shifted awkwardly.

"Well." She glanced down in time to see the guy shifting his eyes between the three of them. It was probably weird that he had been overtaken by what looked like three blonde teenagers.

Juniper squatted and reached out to start riffling through his pockets, tossing an extra clip of bullets, a half empty pack of cigarettes, and a lighter over one shoulder while he barked and flailed at her uselessly to stop. His one free arm passed harmlessly through her face, shoulders, chest. There was no where he could get purchase to push her away.

Finally she found a wallet after having to reach around in his the general area of his ass awkwardly.

"Timmy, huh?" He had a basic drivers license from a few years ago, a wad of cash, a few cards with different names on them. Stolen, she assumed. "Or is it Tammy? Michael? Veronica?" She tossed each card over that same shoulder as she went, a little pile of things collecting behind her. She still had no clue what to do with him. It's not like she was going to murder the guy or anything. Maybe... like... she could try and shut him up? She wasn't very intimidating though. Did that mean she needed to involve the police?

.... naaaaah. That sounded like a can of worms she didn't wanna open. If they investigated why this guy had shown up to try and shoot her, what else would they end up investigating?

Asking Xavier to take him in and not say anything also seemed like a no-go, because she didn't think something like that would fly with him. How could she spin this so that this didn't negatively impact her?

Hmmmmmm.

The 12 year old tilted her head at the mention of a rusty butterknife. "It'll take longer..."

Xavier spoiled the fun, and was instantly deflated. Juniper suddenly jumped at the man and stole his wallet "J-Juni, you can't just steal his-" He was swatted by a 12 year old, causing him to flinch away in surprise. "hey!"

L looked at him with an incredulous look. "Look, boyscout, he tried to shoot her, the wallet's fair game."

Xavier regained his composure, and ignored the strange little girl. "Juniper, why is someone trying to kill you?!" He looked down at the man, and then back up at her.

"And why is there a little girl here?!"

As he made his demands, the man suddenly turned around, his pistol in his hands. He yelled while firing a shot at the little girl, hitting her in the head, and throwing her to the ground, he then aimed at Xavier, who deflected the bullet with a swat, and then he aimed a Juni and fired the rest of the clip.

Xavier punched him with a running start.

Juniper shifted through the rest of the wallet aimlessly, trying to ignore the pointed question Xavier had directed at her as long as possible. Thankfully, he gave her something she could answer in a roundabout way. "She's not a kid. She's a fr-"

BAM!

Juniper just about jumped out of her skin at the first gunshot. She'd been focused on everything but the trigger happy maniac fused with her floor. Maybe that had been a mistake?

BAM!

By the time he fired off a second shot she was aware of the situation, and the fact that not only was he putting holes in her walls but he was attempting to put holes in her best friend. Thank @#$%in' Jesus the tall blonde boy was fast though, because by the time he had blocked the shot at him the gun has swiveled her way and all she could think about was sticking it in Timmy's goddamn head.

As it were, the bullets passed through her harmlessly and mauled another portion of innocent drywall behind her. Timmy ultimately realized how absolutely futile attempts were just before Xavier clocked him directly in the head. It was worth all o f the holes she was going to have to fill just getting to see his head bobble around for a bit before he went completely limp on her floor.

"...friend. She's a friend." She started back up, not even bothering to turn and see what the stray bullets that had been for her destroyed in the space behind.

But, now that her thoughts had been scattered by another murder attempt, she couldn't remember where she had bee going with that whole 'friend' thing.

"I work for her." She paused briefly to drop Timmy's wallet and dust her hands off. "As a maid." She blinked and glanced at the blonde, but couldn't really help the words coming out of her mouth. "She pays me to dress up like a maid and clean her house. $1500 a pop."

She pointed at the guy on the floor, dead to the world and unable to protect himself from her lies. "This guys is her ex. Got it in his head that we were a thing and kinda hates me for it. He musta come over to exact revenge or something." She shrugged slightly, and ignored the fact that she was most definitely sweating. Xavier could be a little slow in some ways, same as everyone, but he was sharp as tack in many others. This wasn't the first time she had flat out lied to him about something, but this was definitely the first time she had tired to lie about something this serious.

"She only looks like a little girl. She's totally a cougar on the inside. The Lolita thing is her kink."

"Juniper she's been shot!" How could she be so casual about it?!

Xavier rushed toward the little girl who'd just been shot as soon as he finished punching the gunman, his eyes wide in a slight panic. He'd let her die. He'd sworn not to just watch as someone died. Not again. And he hadn't stopped it.

He skid to his knees, lifting her up and looking her up and down. Wait... Hadn't she just been shot in the head.

A slightly confused L looked back up at him and then smirked as she realised what was going on. "You know CPR?"

Xavier's expression went flat, and he dropped her, standing up and looking over to Juniper with a look that told her very clearly he was done with this shit.

"I... Just... I... find all of that very hard to believe. But... I'm going to give this one to you. I'm pretty sure I'm just having a very strange dream at this point anyway."

By now L had climbed to her feet, where she stared at Juniper with her arms crossed making a smoosh face. Really? Timmy here wasn't her type. Clearly not tall, dreamy eyed, or possessing a quiet intelligence that drew people to him. What were they talking about?

Oops. She'd forgotten to mention the whole 'couldn't die' thing. A definite brain fart on Junipers end as she watched him panic and hurry to see if the girl was okay. She felt a stab of guilt at that. She... hadn't thought about how someone like him would react to all of the wacky things that she tended to get into.

"It's okay. She's like me. Nothing can physically hurt her." Fighting back that ugly feeling in the pit of her stomach, she forced a grin. He didn't believe her, but he wasn't gonna press it. He seemed to do that a lot around her.

She stood from her crouch, collecting the gun from the floor where he had dropped it and turning it over in her hands. She knew a bit about some fire arms; her dad had an extensive collection from all of his prep for when society collapsed or the government needed to be taken down a peg. She quickly checked to make sure it was empty this time before turning and setting it on her kitchen counter.

"I should probably call the cops and get this all sorted out now." She may have visibly shivered from the very thought. Thankfully all of her various illegal items were hidden.

"Thanks for jumping to my rescue, Blondie, even if I didn't need it. I'm fine on my own, remember?" She short a look L's way, her grin widening just a bit.

"You should probably try and go get some rest, Adonis. I'm sure with everyone in the complex knowing what your hiney looks like you're gonna need it."

She went to retrieve her phone from where she had left it on the floor, before all of this mess got started.

Xavier watche Juniper. He knew she wasn't happy about something about his response, but he couldn't quite pin it down. What was he supposed to do? Call her out. Force her to explain everything when she didn't want to? No. He had to trust that she was trying to do the right thing. Every piece of evidence he had of her so far told her that was all she wanted.

Even if that meant strange stuff happened as a result. Like, I dunno, a sterotypical looking mob hitman coming after you, and an invincible 12 year old gothic lolita coming to your aid. Sure. He nodded at the thought of her calling the cops.

When she said she was fine on her own, she frowned a bit. "I know, Juni... But you don't have to be." He looked to her nervously as she pushed him toward the door with her words, turning a bit red when she mentioned him being naked again. Sheepishly he followed her instructions, looking back nervously before heading out the door.

As he left, L looked up and Juniper and grinned.

"Y'know I know old, fat mobsters are more your type, but when you gonna tap that greek statue of a man?"

Xavier left and her thumb hovered over that last 1 needed to ring up the police. She was still a little uncertain she wanted too, even if it was the best idea.

Her chin snapped over toward L as the little blonde snapped her out of her thoughts, and she snorted. "He's not like that." She said simply. Xavier was... he was different. She didn't know why for certain he always wanted to try and drag the best out of her, or why he'd deemed her important enough to be best friend material...

But she knew for certain he was better than her in every sense of the word. Aside from the few lingering attempts at flirting that had quickly died off after their first few interactions, he had landed in a weird place where she thought of him as a friend, but also as this weird, un-reachable thing that constantly reminded her of all of her failings in life.

She had to actively fight herself putting him on a pedestal, because it was unfair to him if she did that, but... it was a hard, constant battle.

"He's my best friend, nothing more than that."

She thumbed the last 1 and lifted the phone to her ear.

Yeah, Xavier didn't deserve her trying to pin any of those feelings onto him. He had too much of a bright future for that.

"... Hi, this isn't an emergency but..."

[End]