Notes. So he was taking secret information and duplicating it which made it less secure. Hell. Even she was a potential duplicate, if they went that route. No one would believe they'd gone for as long as they had and not done a thing to risk it. But they hadn't done anything because this was a can of worms. They'd just been kicking that can down the road.

He was a really, earnestly good person and Noel was doing her damndest not to screw that up. Was the notes thing a screw up? Surely he wouldn't do it if it was a bad thing...

"You make a good point about the pills. I-I have a list of other things I tested." She had it on her phone and had read it through each point several times. It was worth revisiting the detailed list. "Moonshine. I'm not sure if it was because it was spicy or a lot of it, but... obviously that's not-" She had her notes up on her phone now and skimming through she saw that there had been later repercussions that made spicy moonshine an especially poor life choice. Her eyebrows rose and she moved on. "Boiling water was only spotty by way of success. There's a chemical from pineapple that did okay, but this said it felt "buzzy" until it wore off..."

Okay. She could fully admit that any of this every time before a kiss would kind of ruin the mood. If nothing else it killed every chance for spontaneity. She let her wrist limp and her phone drooped.

"First date, you said psychics made you jumpy." So she'd never gone into detail. And he'd never asked. Now, it seemed, was the moment to share. Noel rubbed at her eyebrows. Headaches were common enough. Just, not usually when she was running on continuous memories.

"If I go into your memory, I can find anything you have stored away. I can be specific. I can look in specific years or by specific themes. Or something around a topic, I guess. I usually go by topic looking for a specific answer, y'know? Sort of like every brain's a magic 8 ball I just shake it until the answer surfaces." She chewed her lip. Maybe that was a bad example.

"If I see these secrets, I can take them for myself and, normally, I'd shuffle through them on fast forward. Or, if it's a skill, I might play it over and over again to help know what it should feel like. Because it's a memory that came from a person, I'm getting to experience what it's like to think and feel like you in those moments." She was getting specific because all of that was important for context. Because this path they were on might lead her to see a lot of things through his eyes and he needed to know that.

"If I erase something I've taken, as best I can tell that's what goes. So if I know, I can unknow just as easily. The catch is that-" Oh shoot. She'd almost forgotten! "Uh. It'll start to come back to you in an hour or so unless you sleep on it. Same for me. And if something reminds you in the first week or so... I'd just have to do it again. So, it's not permanent either, I guess, if you change your mind."

Noel had a list of other things she had tried to stop her from tasting. The first item was moonshine, which might explain a wild text Ranger received once, “Can did dammit out new”. Sure he knew what she meant but normally her texts are mostly correct.

The list also contained boiling water, which must have been awful to apply to the tongue, and pineapple. Ranger had heard something about pineapple reducing or eliminating taste temporarily, but had never experienced it. It seemed Noel had thrown everything except the kitchen sink at trying to eliminate her sense of taste.

And even if one of them worked, it would be a lot of work. And leaving to go brush your tongue with pineapple would likely be a major mood killer.

Then, Noel got to a more detailed explanation of how her power worked. Ranger nodded to her bringing up that he had said psychics make him jumpy. It was true, it was the one thing he couldn’t defend himself against. Between his skill and his power he could stand toe to toe with anyone… but not a psychic. He was at the mercy of anyone who could just bypass his physical resistances.

”They still do… Anyone but you.” Ranger said quietly.

She walked through the power. She began with how she sifted through to find memories; Years, themes, topics. To Ranger this meant she could jump in and guide her way to the memories she was looking for. Limiting what she took.

From there she moved on to what she did once she found the memories. Play through them in fast forward of watch them over and over, depending. Either way she would be experiencing the memory. From how he understood it, the Ranger assumed this meant she experienced it like it was her own memory. Though, being able to alter the temporal perception of the memory likely helped discern what was hers or not.

And what Ranger needed to know, to the best of her knowledge she would lose what she took if she wiped those same memories from him. That was good. If it wasn’t the case then the whole plan was a bust… Except there was a catch.

”So… If I can provide y’ a list of exactly what t’ find an’ erase, y’ can get just those moments? Seconds in some cases, a few days in others. An’ after it's done it’s time t’ hit the hay.” He could do that, make a list and then once she had the memories, destroy it. Not because it would have classified information, it wouldn’t need them just where to look for them. It would be destroyed to not remind them once they memories are erased.

Ranger got up and moved to his desk. There he opened a laptop and once the screen lit up, center aligned at the top, was a box with a green border that read “UNCLASSIFIED”. He then slid out a sheet of paper and a pencil.

”My notes’re in JWICS. Only accessible with a TS clearance. They’ll be no less secure tomorrow than today if y’ are able to wipe them completely from us both.” Ranger said, mostly to help maintain his nerve. He clicked around and then entered a very long password and the box at the top changed to a red border that read "Classified".

"I can get your list." She confirmed. And that seemed to be enough. Noel didn't dare move from her spot on the couch to follow, not that she could easily get up with half a mountain flopped over one leg. This crazy plan was actually in motion and Michael was motivated enough to sit down right here and now to get it sorted out.

She pat the couch and asked Revvie to snuggle on the other side. There was no point in leaving anybody out and it seemed the Ranger needed a minute at the computer alone.

"It's probably worth noting— I don't know how to turn it off. So... it's an every single time sort of thing."

Once upon a time she'd met a person who was also paranoid about psychics. He'd taken care of her, fed her pizza, braided her hair, and tried to kill her. She probably should have discounted his opinion, but it was one of the few she had a difficult time forgetting, in part because of the attempted murder.

He'd suggested that it wasn't that she couldn't stop reading memories at every taste. It was that she wouldn't stop. That there was some part of her that was eternally suspicious, and if she trusted someone, reeeally trusted them, then maybe she would learn to stop.

The puppies were getting the pet of a lifetime as Noel processed that hypothesis again. If it was true, maybe this wasn't as stupidly selfish she it seemed. If she could learn to turn it off, Noel wouldn't be slowly replacing her experiences with the Ranger's non-classified ones. In the meantime, she had to come up with a strategy. Stick to recent stuff? Go for the same memory over and over again? Then maybe she could tune it out and stay more in the moment...

She jumped when the basilisk on screen roared up out of the water, not realizing that she'd zoned out and had been reviewing memories and potential options.

"Do you have a plan for going to sleep right away?" Or maybe it was that military adage that he could do it on command in any place at any time. She, however, could not. "Allergy medicine?"

With Noel’s confirmation, Ranger set to work. Navigating through documents on the Department of Defense’s Top Secret intranet Ranger pulled up old mission reports to be able to provide Noel the most precise information. As for Noel, she had Perry Hotter playing and a pair of bears to keep her company for a few minutes. Ranger was doing this before he changed his mind.

"It's probably worth noting— I don't know how to turn it off. So... it's an every single time sort of thing."

Ranger had known that was likely how it would be. It was certainly less than ideal. So instead of Noel learning secrets that could land them both in jail for decades and slowly replace her with him it was just her slowly being replaced by him. Though… If she could remove memories from herself after the fact that could be mitigated…

One problem at a time.

Aside from the secrets he had to keep, Ranger didn’t tend to be a very secretive person. Noel being able to see his comings and goings and all details of his life wasn’t a major issue. It was still unsettling to a degree, but Ranger trusted Noel and anything she could find in his head was something he would tell her if asked. There were weird moments she could stumble across though…

”If it is all the time… Are there ways t’ protect y’rself from endin’ up with nothin’ but my memories over time?” Ranger asked as he wrote places, dates, and brief details on his list of memories

It was a list of a decent length. Ranger worked to be as precise as possible so the least amount of memory had to taken and removed. Some were as small as memories of an individual in a place. Some were as large as the entire first time he used his power. Which in itself was a major blow for Ranger to have to lose. Ranger actually stopped and thought about how to keep as much of it as possible. While he thought about it, Ranger looked to the tv and then to a spaced out Noel and her dog pile.

As he wound down on the notes Noel asked, "Do you have a plan for going to sleep right away? Allergy medicine?"

”I can sleep anywhere at any time, perk of army experience. Do y’ need anythin’? I have allergy medicine an’ whisky… Might have some ketamine lyin’ around.”

Eventually Ranger closed everything on the computer and the screen indicated “UNCLASSIFIED” again. He shut the laptop and made his way back to the couch with the few pages of his list.

”A lot of detail t’ have t’ remove the least.” Ranger said and passed the sheets to Noel, ”it’s all within the span of a few years. I started as sixty on, sixty off. When the registration nonsense hit I was deployed indefinitely t’ keep me out of the country.”

> "Are there ways t’ protect y’rself from endin’ up with nothin’ but my memories over time?”

"Probably." She admitted. "But I haven't been in a position where I'd need to. If I'm revisiting someone, that's rare." And always from a need like 'I forgot how to English.' This potential serial repeat situation was new. Meaning, she'd considered a relationship impossible and just sidestepped all romance all together.

> "perk of army experience."

She had predicted that. But whiskey? Ketamine? Allergy meds? "The addict's buffet? I'll have one of each." She was kidding. Mostly. "Probably leave off the ketamine, that sounds too serious." Noel nudged one, then the other puppy off of her lap so that she could stand and stretch. Just in time for the Ranger to return with a stack of papers. He promised it was mostly a lot of detail, probably because her eyebrows had reached their peak.

The registration was something she'd had to read about, alongside any other historical event from more than a few years back. Noel skimmed and made a bullet list in her head. She'd probably have to do this one at a time, then. And a final wipe just for clean up.

"Take a seat, this may take a minute." Plus, she had to pound a shot of whiskey, apparently, as soon as they wanted to start the clock. This part, at least, was all business. Business was what Noel was used to using her lips for.

Noel wasn’t certain she could protect herself, but that could be a problem for a later date. And she said she had never needed to. As necessity is the mother of invention, perhaps now with a reason to she could find a way.Ranger nodded and gave and grunted.

Ranger chuckled at the joke, it really was like an addict’s buffet. Just add in a few other choice drugs and they could open the ’Hibernation Station’, a place where people pass in to pass out. With the paper’s passed to Noel, Ranger went to round up the allergy medicine and the whiskey. ”Whiskey an’ allergy medicine it is.”

It only took a minute for Ranger to return with a bottle of benadryl (Because you can’t sneeze if you are in a coma), a bottle of bourbon, and two glasses. He set them on the coffee table and then took a seat at Noel’s prompting. Ranger poured himself a glass and kicked it back. One shot to help keep his nerve.

”I’m ready.”

She had to go find a marker, a big one, able to black out what she shouldn't be seeing. If she'd been out on her own, that kind of thing would be on her person at all times. Here at Haven she hadn't needed it. Not even to write her name on herself.

By the time she was back, Michael was pounding back a shot of his own. It took guts to volunteer for this. And they'd prepared as best as they could. Now they had to trust the process.

Noel knocked back some allergy meds and a shot that had her cringing as she climbed into the Ranger's lap. She put her knees at his hips and her elbows on his shoulders. It was best for controlling the head, if she needed to. Plus she could easily balance the papers on the back of the couch so she could see them and he could not.

"Here." She put his hands at the tops of her hips just so he wouldn't feel weird about what to do with them. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a quick breath because this was what she was used to. This was work. But it was also personal. She wanted to do this as exactly as possible, and she had a list. That was good, but he was probably going to lose more than he'd expected.

"I might boss you around a bit," She warned Michael before moving his head around to tip his face up and put them nose to nose. "but you're in good hands."

A smile, a slight hesitation, and Noel pressed her lips against Michael's. A gentle touch of a closed mouth kiss because their first kiss shouldn't have to be business. In fact, she planted another kiss on each cheek and one on his forehead for good measure. And a hug where she could bury her face in his neck for a moment. Noel had to collect herself and calm her breathing because all of that had felt totally illicit.

"Okay, okay. For real this time." She laughed through her words and grabbed up the list, re-reading the first point. She marked it off thoroughly and put the page down before pulling Michael close and diving right in. Once she had a mental link established, her body went on autopilot while she navigated his memories. He was specific enough that it was quick. But she grabbed up the context and did her best to decide where the cutting needed to happen. What might re-trigger that? What would his mind likely gloss over automatically?

Once she'd decided, Noel pulled back and told him to open his eyes. Her pupils vibrated back and forth in their sockets. As she cut those memories out, both their visions closed down to a tunnel. They could only see the other's eyes until it was done and the fog lifted. It sometimes felt like waking up all over again.

"There's one." Noel went back to her paper, read, marked, kissed, and erased— rinse and repeat— and so their late evening dragged on past the end of the movie and on into the early morning.

Once Noel'd finished the entire list she made sure to shred it, toss it out, and even take the trash to the chute. Even the smell of the permanent marker might be enough to tip them off, otherwise. One last note and Noel settled back on Ranger's lap while rubbing at her eyes. Tired didn't begin to cover it at this point. That list had been longer than she'd initially thought.

"Just one more." That final mental clean up to hide that they'd hidden or destroyed the evidence. Noel put his hands back on her hips, but with a slip of paper beneath his this time. No need for a mental read, she'd been there to help take the trash out and put the bourbon away. So when their vision opened up all that was left was for the Ranger to read his note.

"Kiss me already."

Noel followed him in taking back a shot before she parked herself on his lap. Once positioned she stuck his hand on her hips.

"I might boss you around a bit, but you're in good hands."

Ranger nodded slightly before Noel tipped his head up. And then they kissed. Sure, Ranger had kissed Noel before, but that was always on her head or her cheek. This was the first time they had shared a kiss on the lips. With how long it had been coming Ranger felt like he was in grade school again sharing his first kiss. And then Noel kissed around his face and buried her face in his neck while he laughed.

"Okay, okay. For real this time."

Noel read off the list and marked off an item. And then they shared another kiss. This time when it ended Noel told him to open his eyes. He did, and looked her in her’s as they began to vibrate like a nystagmus. As he starred, his view of everything closed down until it was as if he was looking through a soda straw. It was a feeling reminiscent of the sensory exclusion of the first times he had been in life-or-death situations. Eventually his vision returned.

And so the night progressed. The same procedure over and over, it was all a blur to Ranger. Small bit of the night took root and Ranger would be able to recall them, but not much. Eventually he heard Noel say, “Just one more.” His next memory was opening his eyes with her face there in front of him.

He wasn’t immediately sure of what was happening. He knew him and Noel had been working to alter his memories. Were they done, were they in process? Was there something in his hand? He lifted his hand from Noel’s hip and saw that he was holding a slip of paper in it. Confused, why he was holding a slip of paper, Ranger read it.

"Kiss me already."

Ranger’s eyes went from the note to Noel’s face. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to understand the note. Noel had finished removing memories. And if she was done, there was nothing he had to hide from her anymore. Sure she would still see into his memories, but he trusted Noel.

With a smile on his face Ranger let the note slip from his hand as he brought it up to the side of Noel’s head. His hand still on her hip slid around to her back. Then Ranger leaned forward to kiss Noel. He knew they would need to sleep within the next hour, but that could wait. He finally could kiss Noel without fear, without it being a means to an end. It could simply be.