Noel was stretched out across the couch, likely to block it off from Dammit. Not a bad strategy, for the next couple months. Dammit was nearly bigger than she was and it wouldn’t be long until the puppies were pushing Ranger size. Soon they could be large enough for Ranger and Noel to go as Chess of Crowns characters for Halloween with properly sized dogs in tow.

"Honeybadger don't care." Noel said as she put her hands behind her head. She was trying to play it off like Hufflepuffs were cool. "But Lions are cool too, I guess." Ranger shook his head. It was like dealing with guys back in his military days, carrying on about honey badgers.

"What're the American houses?" Noel asked and used her phone. Ranger didn’t doubt she was looking them up. Ranger took his time retrieving his phone. He wanted her to have enough time to at least see that there were supposedly four houses.

Phone in hand Ranger sat. On top of Noel.

Plopping himself down on her midsection, Ranger had his phone looking up the American houses. ”Horned Serpent, Wampus, Thunderbird, an’ Pukwudgie.” Ranger read before leaning over to his side a little and looking at Noel. ”Y’ can get sorted there too.” Ranger was cracking a smile, ”I didn’t get sorted int’ any of them.”

She had scooted to the side. Granted, it wasn't a ton of room, but there was more than enough space for Michael's gluteal cleft to rest on the couch instead of on Noel's belly. So of course, he sat on her. She fumbled her phone in the wake of the Ranger butt and very nearly lost it a second time when Dammit imitated the Ranger and came to sit on her legs.

"You are such a sack of butts." Cursing never had come naturally to her so a sack of butts was about the best she could do. Especially since, when she'd entered the apartment, she'd felt weird and out of place. Now Noel was trapped. Sort of. She squeezed and squiggled until she was on her side and she curled around Michael's back rather than supporting the whole of him. Dammit found her favorite place in the whole world, the spot behind Noel's knees, and curled up as she had back when she weight 10 pounds instead of 80 plus.

She could get used to this. Especially when he leaned around to make sure she was paying attention. The movie's previews were over and the starting credit scene was rolling on without them. That was fine. Noel came for the movies, but she stayed for the Ranger.

He was far too... happy? Interested? Tickled, maybe. She put down her phone. There was no way she could read through what a puckwudgie was when he was grinning like that.

"Okay, okay. I'll bite. Why didn't you get sorted into any of the four American houses?"

Ranger laughed at Noel’s insult. He couldn’t say that someone had ever before called him, “a sack of butts.” Watching someone else sit upon her master must have let Dammit know it was time to jump up and claim her spot. When it was all said and done, Noel was wrapped around Ranger and Dammit had worked herself between Noel’s legs. Reveille sat up and looked at them all before deciding she wouldn’t fit and just lay her head down on an unused corner of the couch.

She just wanted to be involved.

"Okay, okay. I'll bite. Why didn't you get sorted into any of the four American houses?"

Ranger clicked around on his phone for a few more moments. He’d wanted Noel to spend a little time exploring the houses first. Her having set her phone down meant he’d just have to reveal the greatest secret in all of the Hotterverse. When he found what he was looking for he handed his phone to Noel.

The phone was clearly open to Hottermore and everything was as it should be, but the sigil was different. The house was not one of the four. There was text explaining this strange house.

There is a group of students who the other houses would have no idea what to do with. This group of students use to be their own thing and told the rest of the American wizarding world it could go to hell. Well these students and their children came back to Ilvermorny one day.

The other houses had no idea what to do with them. The school administration had no idea what to do with them. So these students again told Ilvermorny it could go to hell. They were very proud and willing to handle things themselves in their own way.

They created a new house for themselves. They needed something to represent themselves, something strong. They needed something that showed they had durability. So...

Armadillo House was born. They live in a cabin outside of the school and only Texans are allowed. There is a sign outside someone brought one year that read "No Girls Rest of Yall Allowed" [sic]

It then had the title before continuing on to expand upon the history and infamy of Armadillo House.

”That’s the house I was sorted into. A house of only Texans. An’ it’s canon!”

At first Noel thought Michael was ignoring her on purpose. Trapped as she was, there wasn't a whole lot she could do besides start pinching. She was just deciding where to start when he offered his phone to her.

"What...?" But his face said it all. He wanted her to read it for herself. So she did. And two sentences from where she blurted, "Oh my god," in disbelief was where Michael cut back in with his explanation.

A house. Only for Texans.

It was amusing, yeah, but made her flop her face into the leathery couch cushion because of course Texans would want to secede into their own house and "OF COURSE, there's a Texas house!" She held his phone back up to him, as far as she could reach which was maybe 2 inches higher than it was when in her hand. It was the thought that counted.

"I guess this means we're not in the same house. Again." Not that it mattered since all of this was make-believe. On screen a bit of snake hissing caught her attention for a moment. Sibilance like that just wasn't used in common conversation and the sound was distracting.

"So there's this one." Noel poked the Ranger in his side once they were back to something more mundane on screen. "The Hall of Redacted Information. And the next one, that's tThe Cellmate of Gulagban. Which, that one might just be my favorite because time travel." The more outlandish, the better. Her absolute favorite movie, according to notes, involved Dolphins in Space. "I mean, how far do you want to watch tonight? I dunno if I want to get into The Mug of Flames with all the sexting and the nude scenes."

The reaction was all Ranger could have hoped for. Not only was there an, “Oh my God,” there was burying of face into cushion. From there she exclaimed, "OF COURSE, there's a Texas house!" and held out the phone. Ranger retrieved it, laughing. It was a treat to share the house with non Texans. Noel’s reaction was by far the best though.

”It wouldn’t be believable otherwise.” Ranger said through laughter at Noel’s reaction.

"I guess this means we're not in the same house. Again."

”It also means y’ wouldn’t get lassoed on the way t’ the school an’ drug off t’ a cabin.” Among other wild experiences unique to Armadillo house.

Noel poked Ranger in the side as she diverted the conversation, mentioning the current movie and the one following. She shared a very popular opinion, that the Cellmate of Gulagaban was her favorite book. Ranger nodded, it was one of his favorite books in the series. Though, he had a hard time picking a single favorite.

”We can just watch until one of us cain’t keep awake anymore, maybe we make it through…” Ranger stopped mid sentence and and screwed up his face as he processed what Noel had said. ”Sexting and nude scenes?”

Ranger looked from the movie to Noel and stated, ”There’s no sexting in the books… They don’t even have phones.”

Lassoed and drug off...? Yeah. Noel wasn't touching that one with a ten foot wand.

> ”There’s no sexting in the books… They don’t even have phones.”

"Well, I mean yeah. Not at school. Most of it happened before they got there, remember?" Now she was getting flustered. If anyone had reason to question their memory, it was Noel. She struggled in her spot to get back to some kind of sitting up because this was important. She wasn't just making things up.

"It's not too long after Vernon Dursley jumps off that building."

From the look on his face, Michael was lost. Why was he so lost?

"I just finished that book, like, yesterday." In fact, she could bring it up on her phone because they were ebooks. She struggled around until she had both her hands and her phone free so she could navigate there. "The ebooks were all checked out at the library so I pirated an omnibus copy from Pen Island Ebooks."

Most of it happened before they got there? Most of what? There were a fe chapter, sure but most took place after they left for school. ”No.” Ranger drug out the ‘o’ as he moved a little so Noel could extricate herself some. The books were set in the 90s an’ there’s only a few references t’ landlines. Definatly no sextin’.”

"It's not too long after Vernon Dursley jumps off that building."

”Off… That buildin’? Vernon doesn’t jump off a buildin’...” Ranger was speaking slow, well slower than usual. Nothing Noel was saying now was from the books..

"I just finished that book, like, yesterday.” Noel pulled out her phone and worked to get both hands on it. "The ebooks were all checked out at the library so I pirated an omnibus copy from Pen Island Ebooks."

Pen Island… Ebooks… Ranger’s eyes got wide. ”Y’ sure it was Pen Island? Not somthin’ else?” Ranger asked before also asking her to, ”Show me the site…”

Pirated ebooks from Pen Island Ebooks. Ranger was worried about what was actually there.

She was embarrassed now and typically it took more than a few dumb words to embarrass Noel. Her memory wasn't that bad. She'd literally just read all this. She wouldn't have said it if she hadn't thought it wasn't true. In fact, she wasn't cringing through any of it. Her words tasted neutral and true. She believed.

And that was the biggest downfall of her power. If she believed it was true, her truth sense could backfire... like it apparently was now.

"It's Pen Island." And she was bringing it up now. The header said Pen Island. It even had an island with a tree and two beach balls for a logo and she was already on bringing it up on her phone. "I don't get how the rocketship ties in to the island theme, but... here."

She turned the phone around to show the site. It was subtle for what it was... And a legitimate source of pirated ebooks, it certainly was not.

Those were not rocket ships. But what reason did Noel have to think otherwise? She'd never seen anything like it in her working memory.

Pen Island. Noel confirmed that was the name. Ranger had a sinking suspicion that was just a clever play on another name. And why would a site called Pen Island have rocket ships? Noel showed him her phone’s screen. Ranger’s eye got wide and he held back a laugh.

Not rocket ships. Very much not rocket ships.

”Noel,” Ranger began as he looked from the phone to her, ”Those’re penises.”

Everything started to make sense. She found ebooks from Penisland and those ebooks were erotic fanfiction. Sexting and nude scenes seemed like they would be the M.O. of somewhere called Penisland. It did raise the question… Had Noel never seen a penis before or had she just forgotten what a penis looked like?

”I think… I think y’ve been readin’ fanfiction, not the actual books… An’... Uh… Do y’ not know what a penis looks like?”

> ”Noel”

One words and she was pretty sure she was in trouble.

> ”Those’re penises.”

"What!?" She might have been embarrassed at first, but now she was tomato red and sputtering. "No! I- it- I was-" Noel whipped her phone back to give it a better look. Oh hell. She had no idea what she was or wasn't looking at anyway.

So of course that's what the Ranger zeroed in on.

Fanfiction. The word felt like a nail in her coffin. Her eyes zipped up to Michael's a mix of panic and desperation in them and back to the phone. She was so mad to be tricked and so embarrassed that she could hardly focus on what was apparently a decorative tessellation of penises. Dammit made a soft whine and Noel put the phone down before she did something stupid like throw it. Instead she put her hand in Dammit's scruff.

> "...Do y’ not know what a penis looks like?”

"No. I don't— have—" It was like pulling teeth here to get words out. And there was zero chance of eye contact. It was cloudy with a hefty chance of denial, though. Noel tried a different tack. The opportunity to create her own personal memories was half the reason why she'd joined Haven. "I have male memories, but nothing remotely that personal. There's no reason to go there. And-and no personal experience of— that I know of. Maybe. Ever?" For goodness sakes, they hadn't even kissed! Not that Noel had never kissed anyone, but there was a definite difference between business and pleasure. She would kiss an enemy faster than she might kiss an ally. She'd have to live with the ally later...

Noel had turned bright red. Range continued to hold back his laughter but couldn’t keep the smile from his eyes. The exchange had left Noel unable to complete sentences for a short time. And while she might not see it as funny now, Ranger was finding the whole situation ever more amusing as it continued. Hopefully Noel would be able to look back on it and laugh about it.

"I have male memories, but nothing remotely that personal. There's no reason to go there. And-and no personal experience of— that I know of. Maybe. Ever?"

”Not even a class from high schoo-…” Ranger trailed off. Of course she wouldn’t have memories of high school Health. That was something that was likely long ago lost. ”Well… Now y’ do know.” He chuckled. ”Don’t feel too bad about it. I’d be willin’ t’ bet y’re not the first person t’ have this happen t’ ‘em.” He set a comforting hand on her leg.

”Nothin’ wrong with not havin’ had those kinds of experiences or memories.”

At least one of them was enjoying this.

No. She did not even remember high school. Noel hardly remembered more than their first date which was why she'd been putting off showing up again. It felt "too soon" even though months had passed after their first date and weeks after their last. Time was tricky. Besides. If movies were anything to go by, everyone wanted to forget their high school health class.

Michael figured that one out on his own.

> ”Don’t feel too bad about it. I’d be willin’ t’ bet y’re not the first person t’ have this happen t’ ‘em.”

"Yeah, for people who are, like, ten. Or eleven." Her grumbling was short-lived, however, since Michael set his hand on her leg just perfectly over the small bottle in her cargo pockets. They rattled in an unmistakable shuffle of individual pills.

"No." She drew the "o" in no out long, buying time as she tried to think up any way to explain anything but the answer to the question in his eyes. What was in her pocket? "Nothing wrong with never ever, ever, ever—" Okay was the stalling that obvious? It was, wasn't it? Why did she even bother trying to hide things?

"It's altitude sickness medicine." And despite the prickling in her hairline that meant she was embarrassed again, Noel tried her best not to be embarrassed about it. Oh hey! Wasn't there a movie to look at? She was pretty lost on where they were and even now, facing the screen was about as much as was happening. "The side effects include losing one's taste, otherwise it's pretty much harmless. I, er, hadn't had a chance to try it."

People who were ten or eleven… or raised in weird cult homes the feds have to bust up all the time. Either way Noel’s grumbling was justified. It wasn’t something people her age would normally not know. That killed some of the mirth.

What was left became surprise as Ranger’s touch had moved a a bottle and he could hear the pills inside.

There wasn’t something inherently wrong or illicit about a bottle of pills. It was just strange to carry around a bottle of pills in your pocket. It didn’t help matters that Noel was clearly trying to by time while speaking. Ranger didn’t ask, but the raised eyebrow must have been question enough. She said it was medicine for altitude sickness. Which was weird, since no part of Manhattan is even 300 feet above sea level. Ranger was about to ask her why when Noel again supplied an answer.

"The side effects include losing one's taste, otherwise it's pretty much harmless. I, er, hadn't had a chance to try it."

Side effects include… losing one’s taste. Taking the pills would mean she couldn’t taste lies, but more importantly it meant she might not lift memories. And that meant that them kissing wouldn’t reveal State secrets to her. Which meant they could kiss.

”Oh!” Ranger said, not sure what to say. His heart had jumped into gear at the thought. It hadn’t just been him thinking about a way around their predicament. ”I, uh… I think I’ve found a way t’ make it were if y’havin’ taste isn’t a giant problem. I mean, y’d still lift memories, but… Y’ liftin’ them wouldn’t be somethin’ I have t’ guard against.”

Noel having been distant the last few weeks had given him the chance to think and prepare for a solution to his problem with her power. He wasn’t completely ready, but he was close.

That was so not at all what he'd been expecting, as evidenced by his "oh!" It ruffled his feathers. Noel chanced a look and saw that she wasn't the only one struggling for how to put things. That had her abandoning the movie, yet again. This whole kiss thing had them both in a twist.

"The only way your secrets aren't a problem is if they're not... there." He'd laid it out and now she was picking up the trail of what he might be thinking. Noel could do that, but she was still suspicious for where this was going. She could solve this problem, but she'd dismissed that option a long time ago as a bad idea. So she hadn't even brought it up.

That was an awful lot of trust for someone to let her go in and muck around in their head.

"Are you sure you don't need those secrets? Like, in case of emergency... or something?" And did he even know how it worked? She took a moment to give Dammit a scratch.

"I could take it out precisely, but that'd mean I'd have to know it first and you'd have to trust that when it goes for you, it goes for me. Or, I could do it blind..." Which had its own risks. "Less precise, but safer. No way to tell what'd go for me."

But she realized that she'd do it if he asked.

Was he actually considering this?

"Could always try pills first... it's less permanent."

Noel knew where Ranger was going. It wouldn’t have been hard as it was the obvious solution. Obvious but also terrifying. It would mean Noel had to go into Ranger’s head and remove the those memories. It meant he would be at the mercy of someone inside his head. To Ranger this was among the worst possible things that could happen to a person.

”Yeah.” Ranger said, the problem goes away if the memories weren’t there. They had been the elephant in the room every time he and Noel had been close.

"Are you sure you don't need those secrets? Like, in case of emergency... or something?"

”I took a page out o’ y’r playbook.” He gestured to his desk across the room, ”Notesotes t’ supplement my mission reports. If I need t’ know it again I can learn it.” It wasn’t the same as remembering it, but it was less mutable than memory and up to fifty pages for each memory he’d need to have wiped would make it workable.

"I could take it out precisely… Or, I could do it blind...No way to tell what'd go for me.”

The second issue for Ranger. Noel could learn about the events to delete exactly what she needed to, or she could go in and do a hatchet job and hope both of them came out okay. Or more importantly, that Noel came out of it okay. The first had the issue of if Noel didn’t completely forget the events too. The second had the risk of one or both of them losing something of themselves.

“Could always try pills first... it's less permanent."

Ranger smiled to her, the pills could work. They could also not work. If they did then for them to so much as kiss Noel would have to be on the pill. Just a different pill. There was also the question of what side-effects those pills would have long term?

”We could… but what if they work now but stop workin’ later? An’ what’re the long term effects of those pills?” Ranger took a breath and continued, ”Removin' the memories removes both problems… If y’ do it precisely, how much do you have t’ sacrifice? Or is removing the memories y’ take from me the only thing y’ lose? “