Her mother had taken Delilah to Michigan to visit family, leaving Xavia alone with great reluctance and Xavia shooing her out the door. Xavia needed to decompress after all that had happened, to not think about the things and beat herself up. The first few days, she spent mostly sleeping, though there were plenty of hours where she lay awake and many nightmares to be had thanks to everything. She called Artair after not talking to, or even texting him, which he surely understood why, and she told him, "I miss you..." That was after a long pause of silence.

Things had shifted. It was the look on his face when he thought she was going to die that made her topple over the edge between love and infatuation. That had scared her, but she hadn't run away again, merely just... took time to think about it and came to the conclusion that it was just the way she felt and she would have to deal with it if he didn't feel the same, not that she was going to tell him yet. She invited him over during that phone call, said she was ready to see people again even if she wasn't okay with going outside.

She cooked spaghetti with red sauce, using the vegetarian version of Italian Sausage as the "meat," set a bottle of sparkling grape juice to chill in a bucket of ice, set the table for the two of them with candlelight and everything, Basically, it her way of redoing what was messed up.

She had picked out a movie for them to watch together, something funny, rather than manly or girly, setting that up in the den upstairs since there was no tv in the living room. She had told him just to come in when he got there, then went to get dressed... She did a light make up, wore a casual skirt and top, and walked around bare foot. He didn't need her all dolled up to impress him, she knew.

Right before the appointed time, she stuck the recording of the song she had written for him into the tape deck, not turning it on but just getting it ready, and then curled up on one of the couches in the living room.

Not getting contacted by Xavia for a few days chafed at him, he could understand why but it didn't stop it making him snippy with friends and a little grumpier than usual so when the call came through he was pleased to say the least. "Same lass, it's really good to hear from you again," the warmth in his voice was obvious. Frankly he was just glad she was unhurt and still wanting to talk to him after what had happen. Logically he knew she wouldn't blame him for not being there to protect her but an evil little voice in his head kept whispering to him.

Getting invited over for a relaxed meal sound like the perfect way for them to meet again, even if she was scared of the wider world. That would take time but she'd get there, she was stronger than most people he knew. That and the idea of a home made meal was mouth watering. The girl could cook, that was clear. 

Knowing that she had chosen him to come visit did strike a chord with the Scot, he was kind of amazed he was that important to her. Sure he'd caught glimpses that she cared a great deal about him but this was pretty solid evidence. For once though, in a long time that idea wasn't scary. Artair had already been thinking he was going to ask her if she wanted to make, whatever they were official but more pressing matters had come up. Like stopping her dying for instance. After getting her patched up and everything that went on after, the time hadn't felt right. Now he was staring at a golden opportunity.

Choosing pretty casual clothes they were still a decent quality. Jeans, a plain t-shirt and fitted shirt over was plenty enough to meet her, he'd even rolled up the sleeves to help cool down on the journey over.

Arriving and looking up at her house, he felt butterflies in his stomach. Wow, that was new. Not unpleasant but, weird. Kind of cool. The thoughts occupied his mind as he made he was in, looking up as he entered the main room to be greeted by her. God it was good to see her again. "Evenin' Xavia, really good to see you." Just a tad of an understatement.

She moved to stand up, hesitating only for a moment. It wasn't him, it was... things... She needed to be able to let him in again, though, because she couldn't stand another day without him there. She wrapped her arms around him as soon as she got to him, immediately comforted by the feeling of him against her. She pressed her forehead against his neck for several moments before her mouth met his in a kiss of greeting AND of that emotion she had recently just figured out. When she broke said kiss, she said in an emotional voice, "And you, Artair. I am sorry I didn't call you or anything... I..." But she didn't really need to finish that... She knew he already knew.

Then she pulled away, and he would see the still fresh scars on her lips, still pink but not anything like that awful day. She guided him toward the kitchen, "I just need to get t'e noodles cooked and we're set for dinner." She turned the burner to high, it had been on medium to at least get the water warmed and ready to boil a lot faster. Then she pulled the lid off of the pot with the sauce in it and gave a stir. She pulled the spoon out and offered him a taste. The sauce was delicious, made home made, not from a jar... Of course there were tomatoes, but there were also onions, green peppers, that sausage, oregano, basil, parsley, fennel seed, salt, pepper, honey and a pinch of red pepper flakes... And because it had been on the stove all day, he would probably have a hard time picking out each nuance unless his pallet was trained.

Assuming he took the sample, she feigned like he had sauce on the corner of his mouth, leaned in and kissed the imaginary sauce off. She had missed him so much, she felt happy again after days of wallowing in her own world of darkness... Just to even see his face. Hell, the sight of him caused the babies to start moving excitedly within her, he might even feel it as she pressed to him.

The hug felt good, his own arms wrapping around her gently, glad to be back here again. She was so small now, so fragile and yet he couldn't even be angry anymore, he was just so happy she was OK. And then the kiss, Gods the woman had the power to steal his breath and scramble his brain. Sometimes just being near her made it hard to think. "It's fine, I'm just happy to see you again. Don't worry about it." A slight twinge of guilt touched him upon seeing the scars again. She already had so many, worse still if he hadn't been late, if he'd left earlier things would have been different. Why did good people have to suffer? When would pain finally stop controlling his life?

"Dinner sounds like a great idea, smells gorgeous as well," which wasn't exactly the only thing he could smell, her familiar rose scent couldn't be ignored. Thanks to it he nearly missed the offered taste, nearly. Tasting the sauce, it was amazing! Definitely not some pre-bought one, it was delicately seasoned and while he couldn't take out individual flavours the result was hard to argue with. One day he really had to learn to cook proper food, not the simple student fare he was used too and this was proof why. Being treated to a hand made meal was awesome, only seemed fair he tried to do the same for Xavia. "OK, you have to teach me your secrets, this is seriously tasty." A little flattery never hurt either.

Oh and another kiss! With added baby excitement added in. "Ha, I don't think I'm the only one happy right now. Those two are certainly very active." One kicking baby could be distracting enough, two seemed like one hell of a way to lose any chance at concentrating. "How've they been doing? And how's you other little'un as well?" He wasn't sure how much the wee lassie had been told, or how much she had puzzled together. Kids were smart, a lot smarter than he used to think they were, they could figure adult stuff out quick.

She gave a laugh as he felt the kiddos kicking. "T'e twins have bounced back, but I have been cramping a lot since...
uh... t'at... Delilah went wit' my mom to Michigan to visit my siblings. I do not t'ink I want her to see me freaking out. Wit' her special needs, it is hard for me to know what she notices and what she doesn't and what she will t'row a fit over or not..." She glanced over and noticed the water was already boiling, so she dropped in angel hair pasta and stirred. She stuck the loaf of garlic bread under the broiler after a few minutes, and then leaned against the counter.

"How have you been?" She kept peeking at the bread to make sure it wasn't burning, pulled it out as soon is was just barely browned on top, and then set that aside. After another few minutes, she tested a noodle, then drained them, reserving some pasta water for the sauce. Once she had everything done, she put everything onto the table and sat down.

She served the food family style because that was how it worked in her household. The table was set up for several people as opposed to a small family, reflecting her desires to have made the place a boarding house. With all that had happened, she didn't think she could do it anymore... She was probably going to get a smaller table at some point and maybe even sell the house she had worked so hard to rebuild... Her thoughts reflected upon her expression some, but she didn't speak them aloud because it was just contemplation for the moment. Thing was, she didn't want to keep moving Delilah around and she had already started setting up for the twins, it would be a shame to have wasted her time.

Xavia got a large plate of food because the twins dictated a large meal from her. She would work all those extra pounds off later, she was already huge and uncomfortable, and still had several months left before this was over. Hell, she felt all fat already, all those insecurities a pregnant woman gets about midway through. "Ugh, I feel fat, but t'is is good. I am glad you like t'e sauce, it is really easy... Next time I have you over, I can show you. I mean... if you don't mind coming here for now... I still... can't go outside."

"Aye, I can understand that." Again Xavia was being a mum first, protecting her little girl before thinking about herself. She was such a good person and yet life seemed to want to beat all the fight out of her, for no other reason than it could. "Honestly? I don't know. I've spent all of my time since then training," and drinking far too much. More than one night ended in a black haze. "Haven't really had the time, or the inclination to unpack how I feel and for now, until i know you're OK that's how it's going to stay." No point lying to her, she'd long since earned nothing but the truth from him.

Giving her a hand getting the food laid out and on the table, he really needed this. He hadn't felt like eating much in the past few days so the fact he had an appetite was enough to make him want to stuff his face with as much as he could. Not that it would hurt him, he'd been needing to up his calorie intake for a while to keep up with the muscle growth he'd been doing. That took a lot of energy. His plate plied with enough food, he was surprised it was only a wee bit smaller than Xavia's own one. OK, maybe he was going a little overboard but frankly he didn't care. Good food was good food.

Why would he mind? This place had a great feel to it and the prospect of coming over had made him smile over the past few hours. "Course I don't mind Xavia, you take as much time as you think you need, there's no rush. We're all here when you need us, seriously even if it's the middle of the night and you're freaking out just call. Also I get a lot of women feel that way but you can't be anything but beautiful to me." It was also a good sign that she was still putting on some weight with all the stress recently. She still looked really healthy for a woman having twins, which was the main thing to him. Doctor mode was hard to turn off but in this case it helped put his mind at ease over certain things.

Taking a few mouthfuls and enjoying the flavour, he considered how tactful he needed to be. Artair wasn't a subtle man but barreling into certain topics would do more harm than good. Maybe just a simple question left open ended? "How are you feeling lass?" Yeah, simple. Gave plenty of wiggle room for how much a person wanted to share.

How WAS she feeling...? Tired. Very tired, she thought, not answering the question right away as her hand was kept in his. He did make her smile, even though it was hard to let him in right then. "I don't know... All kinds of t'ings... Overwhelmed." She turned her hand over, palm up against his. "I will tell you later, I don't want to t'ink about him right now... Just you... Us... I... Artair, I..." And then it blurted out before she could stop it, "I am in love wit' you." Oh god, abort! Abort!! He could see her wince at herself for having blurted it out... But there it was. He might see the panic in her eyes for what she said.

But then in good, Xavia fashion, she forced herself to speak and explain, "It happened on t'e way to t'a mansion. T'e way you saved me... I saw t'e look and heard you tell me to hold on and... I don't know, t'at is what I held onto I guess. I know it's really soon and trust me, it scares me, but..." She trailed off. It wasn't hard to see that she meant every word she said, that it even tormented her a little because she didn't want him to feel like she was all up in there like some love sick fool, it wasn't supposed to have happened so fast but staring death in the face makes people realize things faster.

She let out a breath, causing her hair to fly out of her face, and then she let her gaze drift to his face, hoping beyond hopes that she didn't just mess the whole thing up by admitting her feels like that. She hadn't meant to! She wanted to wait until she thought he was on the same page as her!

The first things he could understand, he was there when she was ready and having an evening being normal was probably the more useful use of their time. No, that wasn't what threw him, it was the sudden admission of her feelings, half way through a mouthful of food. Couldn't say Xavia didn't have amazing timing, the lass had a knack for doing just the right thing, at just the right time to scramble his brain. Coughing a bit and struggling to swallow to food, he eventually manged to get it down before he could open his mouth the respond. So a brilliant first impression to the news. "First off, you've got to chose a better moment, I know you take my breathe away but that was a little more literal than usual." It might be a serious topic, but if this had happened at any other time he'd have cracked a joke to start with and acting normal around her was kind of important.

Well, he was going to have this talk with her sooner or later and he had been planning on doing it after dinner but since it had been brought up, "I'm sorry if that seemed like a bad reaction, it wasn't. Just a wee bit surprised is all. Xavia, before all this happened I did have doubts about how I felt and I can't lie and say they're all gone, but I do know that I'm in this for really. I really do care about you and the idea of not being in your life, or losing you, is more than I can imagine." He'd been very careful say he was in love, he wasn't quite there yet but pretending would have been cruel.

"On our second date I had been wanting to ask you something but with everything that happened there never seemed a good time." Reaching over to take her hand very gently, looking her straight in the eyes, "plus there's no way to say this without coming off as corny so might as well be blunt. Do you want to be my girlfriend Xavia?" God he sounded like a teenager. Seriously was there no decent way to ask a person this?

"I didn't mean to blurt it out," she said softly. "I wasn't even going to say it to you today, I was going to wait until you said it first. But it just came out. I am sorry t'at I am so nervous." She took a deep breath and then she cocked her head as he officially asked her to be in a relationship, and she said, "Formality? I am already your girl, Artair." She squeezed his hand and gave him one of her smiles, even if it wasn't as bright as usual. It was still genuine.

"You're the only man I have cooked for... And... And I tend to run away when t'ings get serious, because I get frightened. But you're different... I feel safe wit' you, protected. So t'ere is your answer. I'm your girl." Xavia got up, making sure there was no food in his mouth when she moved over to him and wrapped her arms around him. "T'anks for not freaking out." She reluctantly pulled away, she still had half a plate full of food and the twins were hungry.

Dinner went on and it was quiet and contemplative for the most part. Sure, there would be some conversation, but the comfortable quiet was more prevalent. She put leftovers away, not that there were many leftover noodles, it was just mostly sauce and bread and would be there for a snack. She was too full for dessert, so she was going to wait to serve it later. At some point, she had to brace her hands on the counter as she was moving to put dishes in the sink. The cramping did like to rear it's ugly head at random thanks to all the stress she had gone through. She took several minutes to breathe and then returned to what she was doing: washing dishes and cleaning the stove real quick, which only took a few minutes since there were less than ten dishes... That is, unless Artair made her sit down and did it himself.

Either way, when dishes were done, she would lead him upstairs to the third floor. He would figure out soon enough how huge the old house was, it was a small, Victorian mansion after all. She had kept it as close to historical as possible while modernizing it so it was up to code. She led him to the den where there was a flat screen tv that hardly got used by her. There was a couch and some chairs, and a floating island one would find in a kitchen that had a small popcorn machine on the surface, stuff to pop it with, and bowls to put it in. There were also bags of candy and stuff one would find at a movie theater. She ignored that stuff and grabbed for the remote, turning the tv on and then the DVD player.

Once things were going, assuming he sat down on the couch, she lay down with her head on his lap.

So they were a couple, just like that? It was almost underwhelming, shouldn't there be like flowers and fireworks or something? And yet, everything she was telling him, all the little details she gave out made it special to him. They'd been doing this relationship their way for a while, seemed fitting that they kept it up. No amount of s--- that life threw at them should change that, or change how he reacted to it.

When she closed in for the hug, he gave her a squeeze back, "Can't say I'm not the same but we might as well take the journey together and if it does come to end at some point, we'll never be able to say it was a boring road ey?" It was the strangest relationship he'd had and frankly the most interesting and happy one so far. Well, ignoring the obvious issue but even if they were just friends that would have been as big and event. "And don't worry, I've gotten most of the freaking out of my system over the past days. I'm genuinely surprised the hangovers I was getting didn't kill me." Getting near blackout drunk almost every night was rough for the body, sometimes it was a miracle he'd even gotten out of bed at all.

The rest of the meal passed quickly, small bits of talking interlaced with eating plenty of the food and polishing off the garlic bread but when she started to get cramps while tidying up he insisted he do it, after all she was still recovering from a traumatic event and added stress wouldn't do any good. Didn't take long either, with only the two of them there wasn't much mess so they were soon headed up to the movie room and damn, was it nice. Snacks, comfy seats and a decent screen, perfect for a relaxed evening.

Reclining on the sofa and letting Xavia rest, it was nice to do something so nice and normal. Watch a movie with the woman he liked and just let the stress melt away, what could be better. "Tell you what, I could get used to coming over and relaxing like this, there's something to be said for a home made meal and cuddling on the couch."

 

She didn't need flowers, or all that pomp... It was already special... They had shared a huge, traumatic experience and solidified the bond between them despite both of them being against the idea of a relationship. It was poetic, in a way! She hardly even paid attention to the movie, she was looking up at him most of the time, or dozing off every now and then because she was so very tired. Something about his nearness made her feel safe again, like she could go outside and face the world if only he held her hand. It might even have to be that way in the beginning as she worked through what happened.

By the end of the movie, she woke up from a doze and gazed up at him sleepily, then sat up and rubbed her eyes. Hopefully he didn't mind that she was out of it through the movie. She had seen it before so she could at least discuss it, should he desire to. "I guess I slept t'rough it, huh?"

Barely a few minutes into the movie she was drifting in an out of sleep, it was adorable and while a little uncomfortable given his position, there was no way he was making her move if she was managing to get little snippets of rest. With how bad her sleep normally was and given her unfortunate recent trauma letting her get some shut eye was probably the best present he could have gotten her. Instead he just let his body relax and much as it could and let the film wash over him, laughing quietly at some of the better scenes and generally enjoying the atmosphere.

"Looks like it lass, good choice though, enjoyed it." Hard to not enjoy a nice light comedy, he was grumpy, not dead. His mood had been getting better and it was easy to see the movie didn't have much to do with it. "Nae bother though, you seemed like you could do with the sleep and I wasn't disturbing you out of it." What a strange pair they made. They both made it obvious how poor they were at relationships, each had their own share of scars and sleep was something both of them could do with more of and yet, it did work. Somehow. That nasty little voice in his head was quieter than normal. Sure it was still there trying to poison the feeling he had but it was a lot easier to ignore than usual.

Stretching his aching muscles a little now that he could move, he sunk a little deeper down the sofa, "You been able to get much since what happen? Sleep I mean. I know it's hardly easy at the best of times." His own had been technically good, if you could call blacking out good, and he'd hadn't lacked for energy to burn during the day. He'd done some serious damage to more than one training dummy.

"I have been sleeping a lot. I get fits from the ptsd I've always had, but it's easier when you are here wit' me. And don't worry, I watched t'e movie a few times t'is week, partly because I keep falling asleep. So you don't have to worry about revealing t'e ending to me or anyt'ing. It really is a good movie." She rubbed her eyes some more and then stood up. She then tilted her head and gestured with it for him to follow her back downstairs. "Ready for dessert? I made chocolate mousse. Not traditional kind, but really rich still." Yeah, it was the fast and easy kind, with cream cheese, whipped cream, and chocolate. Simple as that. And it was really delicious.

Assuming he followed, she was downstairs and pulling the two cups of the mousse out, then she led him to the main entry where the grand piano sat, setting the cups on the counter where there were bar stools... She moved to her stereo system and hit play on the tape, turned around and watched him quietly for a reaction when he might realize it was her on there. She had finished the song... And she was playing it for him. It was really lovely, with both acoustic guitar and piano, and her husky voice.

The song was somewhat bluesy sound, he had already read the first lyrics so he would know right away, probably... And then the chorus came along; it was about wanting to get closer to him and being afraid to tell him as much.

"Good to know I make a more than acceptable pillow, just call if you need my services again." It was so good to be joking with her again, helped drive away some of his darker thoughts from recent time. Grinning, he was more than ready for some chocolate after the movie and if it was different than normal, he was more than in. New food was always nice. "I would love some mousse, sounds like the perfect way to wrap up a meal."

Following her down from the little home theatre and grabbing the cup she'd pulled out, he was just a little shocked with the sudden music. Didn't take long to hear her familiar tone in the singing and to recognise the lyrics. It was the one she'd written the morning after their first date. She'd finished it, not just that she'd recorded it two. "It's beautiful Xavia, I kind of don't know what to say." So he just listened, reaching out blindly to take her hand in his as he let the sound wash over him. The message was obvious but it was just the the way her voice mixed with the instruments that caught him, the interplay of the music that took away his breathe. No one had ever done something like this for him.

Putting down the dessert and the spoon, he pulled her into a gentle hug. It was, uncharacteristic for him to be at a loss for words but here she went and did it. More than once now actually, she just had that ability. "Thank you, this means a hell of a lot to me. More than I can actually say."

The song was like an anchor, it helped centre him a little, see how bad things were getting, now that there was someone who actually cared about him. "I...I think I'm going down a road I can't escape from. Lass I've done things I can't take back anymore and...." one shuddering breathe follow by another. "Xavia. I'm scared, of who I am."

"I am glad you like it... I hadn't meant for you to read it or even know about it... At least not until I was ready to tell you my feelings... But you saw it and I finished it for you." She didn't say it but all of it was her... The piano, the guitar, and the singing. She had recorded the piano first, and the singing and guitar afterwards before mixing them. That was every bit her. Now he was telling her that he was scared of himself, holding her hand. She moved closer to him and took him into her arms.

"It's okay to be scared," she said, "I am not going anywhere." Her face pressed to his neck for a moment, and her embrace tightened. "We can be scared with each ot'er... And be brave FOR each other." Her face pulled back so she could look into his eyes, searching his gaze with those warm orbs of hers. She lifted a hand to tenderly brush a lock of his bright hair from his forehead, then she said, "My love for you has no demands. I don't care if you are perfect... And you won't scare me away so easily. Look at what we just went t'rough toget'er." She had already seen his anger even if he tried to hide it from her. She knew.

And then she rested her forehead on his, and another song started to play, just her playing the guitar. "I am here wit' you..." She murmured, wrapping her arms around him fully again. Xavia didn't move after that, even when the kids began to move around in her again. She didn't mind if he felt them, especially right now when it might be a comfort to him. He had saved her, saved them... And now she wanted to help him.

Her mouth soon met his, not for one of those uber passionate numbers but something soft and soothing. Her lips met his with a tenderness she had never given to anyone, not even Delilah's father. Was this what it was really like to love deeply? S**t... She really did love him... All of him... Scary parts, funny parts, happy and sad parts... Kind of funny what happens when two very flawed people find each other; they made for a beautiful pairing together. She regretted nothing whatsoever with him and would never do so. Somehow, someway, the two misfits found one another at random and ended up forever entwined, bonding over a common enemy as well as past hurts that somehow acted as a glue to keep them together. She didn't know what she would do without him in her life now, didn't want to imagine what it would be like if things went differently.

For now, she stood there, quietly giving comfort to the one who brought her comfort, not asking him to give more than he could give or silently willing him to say more than he wanted to say at the moment.