Passion. It was a power force. It was able to move mountains, achieve dreams, even heal the sick. For someone like Agnes Nicholas, who was sick in the heart, passion was the one thing she knew could balm her pains. Passion was what motivated her body, was what caused her to explode into a flurry of kisses and touches that were all-together inappropriate considering the individual she had been with. It wasn’t the woman whom she had promised her hand to – it was to the one whom she had already given her heart and simply never retrieved it.

The night had been an interesting one. She had gone out with River to Gina’s birthday party in hopes of re-integrating her life with her sister. It was shameful how she had managed to miss so much of her sister’s life. If anything, she had hope for the two of them. She loved her dearly but her actions made it seem like the opposite. She had let their wither. Last night was supposed to change all that but it only ended up causing her even more misery; well, the misery hadn’t started yet.

As the morning sun peeked in through the wide, elegant windows of the Slate Hotel, Agnes slowly began to stir awake as the rays of the sun glared across her closed eyes. It took a few moments before this harsh assault ended and the young bug queen found herself beginning to stir. Before her eyes opened, Agnes stretched in bed, feeling the soft, silky covers of the sheets dancing under her fingertips and against her bare skin. This was familiar, but unlike the last time, Agnes had a pretty clear understanding of the events of last night…and the choices she made.

Very slowly she turned her head and dared to open her eyes. She found what she had expected…the sweetest and most seductive redhead that she had ever met, or would ever meet. She was still fast asleep, quiet and unheard except for the smallest breath of air. There was the smallest pang of sadness in her heart as she watched her, yet she was such a vision that it still brought a smile to her lips.

What the **** is wrong with me? She thought to herself?

Not wanting to awaken the beauty, Agnes very carefully climbed out of bed, pulling the covers off, only stopping whenever Rebecca would twitch or groan and roll over. Finally she managed to step out of bed and straighten out her nude body. Quietly she grabbed her phone from the nightstand and made her way towards the bathroom. She decided then to check her messages and found the text string she had shared with River last night – particularly the last couple messages.

Hey just checking in.

I’m fine. Tired.

Yeah. Me too...

I can imagine. Dancing with your EX all night?

River, please...

Whatever. You coming home?

That last message made Agnes blush. Not because of anything River said, but because of the memory attached to it. She was fairly certainly at that point in the evening, Rebecca’s tongue had found a way into her ear. Though there was plenty to spur on her choice to make the events that followed happen, that was a big selling point.

That’s why I’m messaging. It’s late and Gina and I are still catching up. I’m spending the night on her couch.

Oh.

I’ll message in the morning. Promise.

The messages ended there. Agnes never received a message back; honestly she wasn’t surprised. It definitely didn’t sound right. River probably spent the whole night re-packing all her stuff. Agnes tried to shake the thoughts out and turned to look at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She could practicall6 see every square inch Rebecca had kissed…could anyone else? With a shake of her head, and leaving the bathroom door open, she leaned door and turned the know on the overly large shower and tub. She needed to bathe. She needed to feel clean…

It felt different. Rebecca and Agnes had spent the night before drinking, but neither imbibed as much as the other members of the party. They were still thinking very clearly when one thing led to another. When they kissed at her apartment, or made love again at Agnes’s, they were dealing with conflicts about what was right and what they wanted. From the moment they were sharing space on the dancefloor, Rebecca knew exactly what she wanted now, and it led them into this new bed. It felt different, but it was the good kind of different.

There should have been some conflict. Things with Nessa were still murky, because the last thing Rebecca wanted to do was drop a breakup bomb on her girlfriend while she was drunk at a party. She was committed to ending things, and for that reason, maybe Rebecca should have waited until that happened before rekindling with Agnes. It would have been right to feel guilty, but the redhead could not bring herself to do it. Being with Agnes felt too right to let guilt plague her any further.

Sunbeams started breaking through the floor-to-ceiling windows that lead out to their balcony, but Rebecca was undeterred. Her still sleeping body simply turned and buried her face in a pillow so she could rest a while longer; she had been up late the night before, after all. Much like Agnes, the mattress embraced her body and the sheets felt like they melted into her skin. She considered looking into buying the set when they checked out; she liked the idea of recreating the last night every night, because their night together was perfect.

Now Rebecca had to make sure Agnes felt the same. It would be more of a challenge for her; River was not some relationship of four months. They were engaged, and there had to be a reason for that, even if Becca had yet to see the side of River worth marrying. She was terrible for willingly and actively trying to steal Agnes away from the harpist. Rebecca knew that, acknowledged it, and could not care less. If she was not going to end up with Agnes, she would learn to deal with that, but she was done playing half-committed. If it was not going to work, Rebecca had to know it was because she put in everything she could to make it happen, and it did not work. Any half-measures, and she would always have doubts of whether she could have tried harder.

She could deny it, but Rebecca was awake. Even without the light hitting her eyes, she could feel the warmth of the sun against her bare back. It was a welcomed, gentle way to start the morning, but it would have been better if there was still a body next to her. When her eyes fluttered open, the confirmed that Agnes had stepped away. There was no reason to jump to conclusions yet or worry, but she did regardless. After their last tryst, she worried Agnes might have already moved into the “questioning what happened” stage. Rebecca slowly climbed out of bed, not planning to let Agnes stew in that stage alone.

Before heading to the washroom, Rebecca checked her phone. Nessa, unlike River, had sent no texts the night before, possibly due to how drunk she ended up getting. (Rebecca hoped Gina was able to take care of her and keep her safe for the night after they parted ways.) The lack of messages allowed Rebecca to be a distraction while River reached out. She did her best not to look at the conversation, choosing instead to focus on Agnes’s neck and ears.

There was one new message from Nessa sent in the morning, likely after she finally woke up with a possible hangover.

I think we need to talk today.

There was a pit in Rebecca’s stomach that formed, even when she knew Nessa was right. If the brunette had not said it, her redheaded girlfriend would have had to; it was unavoidable. Rebecca liked Nessa, and she hoped there was some way the conversation could go smoothly and they could still salvage a friendship. She also realized she had been incredibly selfish, and if it went poorly, she had to accept that as a consequence.

She left the phone on the nightstand, returning to what mattered in the moment. She stood bare in the doorway to the washroom, watching from behind Agnes as she turned the knob of the tub, allowing water to pour forth. For a moment, she was silent, just appreciating her lover’s beauty.

Silence was not her friend now, as it invited over-thinking, so Rebecca eventually spoke. ”Ye know, Ah’m nae sure abit banana pancakes, but Ah know thes place has room service. Breakfest in bed soonds divine, ye think?”

Agnes tried to contemplate how else to respond to her fiancée. She knew one thing, she couldn’t go on like this. River was trying, in some ways, but it was clear that there was a block that was keeping them from becoming the true loving couple that the ring she wore on her finger was supposed to represent. The unfortunate thing was that blocked was shaped like a lovely redhead that Agnes simply didn’t know how to quit, no matter how much she wanted to. Then again, did she really want to say farewell to her ex-lover? The fact of the matter was that Rebecca was too important in her life, clearly too important to just be a friend? The real question was whether or not Agnes wanted to say goodbye to the Scot forever.



Deep down, she knew that time was what she needed. Time and a clear head. The problem was that whenever she was with River, her thoughts were too preoccupied with how to fix or maintain their relationship, while with Rebecca it was cluttered with thoughts of the past and the real struggle of keeping her libido in check. It seemed that both women in Agnes’ life were exhausting but for exactly different reasons. What was she even to do?



As she left her phone on the bathroom sink, she had turned the shower on with hopes that a sudden epiphany will come to mind as she was buffeted by the warm, pressurized droplets of water. But her solitude was interrupted by the sweet, siren-like call of the freckled Scot who was standing in the doorway. Agnes dipped her head down, hiding her soft smile as she turned around to face her. Already she was being drawn in by the lovely, bare image of her former (at this point, current) lover.



>> ”Ye know, Ah’m nae sure abit banana pancakes, but Ah know thes place has room service. Breakfest in bed soonds divine, ye think?”



Her smile widened as she stepped closed to the redhead. Her hands were drawn like magnets to the Scot’s waist. Fingers brushing across her bare skin, moving to the small of her back and bringing her closer as she bit her bottom lip. Leaning in, she gave a small kiss to Rebecca’s cheek, then onto her neck and she sighed.



”Yeah. I think I can go for some room service. I’m...just a bit wore,” she teased. ”I don’t think I have it in me to cook anything all day.”



It was only begrudgingly that she pried her hands loose from Rebecca’s for, but not before she reached down and gave her a rather complimentary squeeze. She had to giggle at that because one of things she remembered was how self-conscious Rebecca used to be about her posterior, but judging from the firmness she felt now, Rebecca had done some work. A comment was inevitable, and it would help her to not have to think about River or the fact that she was now ACTIVELY HAVING AN AFFAIR.



”So…” with a light smack, she turned and headed towards the shower. ”I noticed you’ve been working out back there. I have to say, it’s done you wonders.” She winked as she slipped into the shower, sighing as she felt the warm water pelt her from above. She loved hotel showers, it was the best way to judge the quality of the establishment. The fact that this shower head hung down from the ceiling and rained upon her body made it all the more exquisite. Eyeing her ex, she smirked as she stepped back to allow her access into the shower. Not that she would have been able to stop her.

Rebecca was certain her lover had reservations or concerns, but when she turned and offered a wide smile, it was hard to believe it. Agnes was still in love with her, as well, and when they were alone, she could not deny that. The way she walked toward Rebecca and the way she pulled her in close… they were both too familiar. It all felt right, and Rebecca was convinced it was right.

”Mmm,” she purred, feeling the soft morning greeting of lips at her neck. Agnes appreciated the suggestion, but she was appreciating her partner more, reflecting on their night together. The first time it happened at Agnes’s apartment, they were relearning one another and rekindling a fire. Now, making love felt like a continuation of everything they had together. Sex with Nessa was great, but Agnes was… something different. There was a pull between them that was, (to forgive the pun,) magnetic. Giving affection was not just something cute; it was a need when they were together.

The idea of cooking sounded like more work than Rebecca had the energy for, and why spend time cooking when she still had Agnes with her. ”Aye, Ah dornt have energy fur anythin’ besides y—OOP!” Her tone jumped into a squeak when her bottom was surprised with a firm squeeze, followed by a playful smack.

The compliment immediately led to a blush filling Rebecca’s cheeks (ON HER FACE.) Agnes knew Rebecca’s main physical insecurity, and over the years, squats had become a regular part of her workout regimen in an effort to address it. She still found herself lacking, but it was nice to be recognized for the progress she did make. ”Happy ye appreciate th’ hard work.” Agnes was, after all, the one who would now be reaping the benefits of Rebecca’s active lifestyle.

Agnes jumped into the shower, but Rebecca watched as body language clearly invited her to follow. Taking a careful step, (not looking to slip and injure herself to ruin the mood,) Rebecca embraced the rainforest shower head as it left her feeling as though she had been caught naked in a tropical storm. Moving copper hair out of her face so it was not plastered there, she looked over Agnes. Her hand had already found the narrow, once-scarred waist to give her stability and connect them.

The scene made her remember a conversation from earlier in the evening at the party. ”Ye know, Eh'd loove tae tak' ye somewhaur tropical. Sparklin' sands, blue oceans,” she proposed, painting the image of the two lovers on a beach, far from the hustle and bustle of the city. ”Jist a trip, ay coorse; Ah know hoo ye a’ays look forward tae comin' haem.” It was a feeling Rebecca hoped the dark-haired insect queen still associated with her: home.

Agnes had to laugh at the little squeak and jump that Rebecca gave her when she had gave her that loving little grope. Truth was that Agnes was rarely that aggressive with anyone. Even with River, Agnes had always been the quieter one, nuzzling and sharing so little touches and kisses. With Rebecca it was as if a flip had been switched and everything was charged with electricity, and energy that was bursting to get out between the two of them it was a state of being that Agnes could hardly understand but one with which she was more than willing to reap the rewards.



After she had stepped away, she commented on the firmer posterior that she noticed from her ex-lover. That brought a blush to match her freckled cheeks as Rebecca nodded, happy that she was appeased with the hard work she had put into it. The idea made Agnes chuckle, remembering when they were first together and how quickly the redhead would hide that certain asset she was embarrassed by. To Agnes she didn’t care, and her actions more than proved that. But to see how much work Rebecca put into herself made the former runaway almost proud of her.



Slipping into the shower, she let the water run down over her hair, pulling it back and away from her face as she sighed. It wasn’t too hot, just warm enough to pull any tension from her body as it rained down upon her head. Of course, tension was the last thing her body was undergoing. She was as loose and limp as a noodle considering their night of activities. With a deep sigh she glanced over to Rebecca and smirked as she stepped back to allow her access to the shower. When was the last time they had shared a shower together?



Agnes smiled sweetly to Rebecca as the young redhead joined her. She reached over, grinning as she helped her to pull some of her wet hair behind her ear, stealing a kiss as she did so. It was such a sweet and intimate moment, the exact thing that she needed to help distract her from the reality that she still wasn’t willing to face, but was looming on the horizon.



>> ”Ye know, Eh'd loove tae tak' ye somewhaur tropical. Sparklin' sands, blue oceans,” she proposed, painting the image of the two lovers on a beach, far from the hustle and bustle of the city. ”Jist a trip, ay coorse; Ah know hoo ye a’ays look forward tae comin' haem.”



It was the sweetest gesture. It painted a picture of relaxation and carnality that the young woman simply couldn’t wait to behold. But therein lay the problem, it was in the future and the future was something that Agnes was still very uncertain of. She loved Rebecca, she truly and deeply did, but she had made a promise to River. River had been there in Agnes’ life when she was alone, had managed to find a spot in her heart that Agnes didn’t think would ever be filled again. How could she just throw all that away?



One look at Rebecca was all she needed to show that she was stupid for considering letting her go again, but as much as she wanted to convince herself of that, the problem was still there. What was she to do? Did she love both of them? Was she in love with River just because of a promise she made? Was she in love with Rebecca just because she still hadn’t gotten over the past? The thoughts jumbled in her head as she gave the redhead a smaller smile. Reality was seeping in.



”Y-Yeah…” she said softly. ”That…sounds nice.” Her eyes darted away for a second before they closed and she let the water fall upon her face, refreshing her. Even in that blanket of silence, she knew that she couldn’t stay there long. So she squared her shoulders as she returned her gaze to Rebecca. ”Rebecca…” she didn’t know how to start this. ”Is…Is this real?” she asked cautiously. ”Are we really…you know…doing this?”

Sharing a shower with Agnes was a welcomed bit of nostalgia. The showers in their dorms and their apartment had never been quite as fancy or accommodating, but Rebecca always enjoyed the intimacy of incorporating each other into that part of a daily routine. The water was soothing and cut them off from the world so they could just enjoy the embrace of droplets splashing against their bodies, and warm, wet skin pressed close.

As luxurious as the rainforest shower was, it must have lacked the inherent magic of cutting the lovers off from the outside world. It was probably doing its best, but there was too much reality to ignore. Evidently, this would be a conversation they would be starting in the simulated rainfall, and that was something Rebecca would just have to brace herself to handle.

Agnes wanted to be with her, or at least part of her did; it came through in everything she did. The way she looked at Rebecca, and the ways she avoided looking at Rebecca both made it clear where she wanted to be, but that did not mean it was an easy choice. It would have been wonderful to know the two were on the exact same page, but that would be unrealistic and unfair when they began at two different starting points.

”Aggie…” Rebecca ran her fingers through the woman’s dark locks of hair, letting the water saturate and fill the spaces between strands. ”Ah want tae dae this. Thes is real. Ah cannae act loch ye arenae th' one Ah want tae be wi'.” Rebecca came to that decision the night before, and she was ready to stand by it, regardless of what came next.

Rebecca grabbed the nearby bottle of mandarin-and-mint scented soap, rubbing it first into Agnes’s shoulders and chest before she considered cleaning herself. She enjoyed the way it glided across her skin, leaving her soapy and shiny and new. ”Ah’m... Ah’m endin' things wi' Vanessa. It isnae reit, an' Ah want ye tae know hoo committed Ah am tae thes.” She was not going to pressure Agnes to do the same, since the situations were different, but she quietly hoped this would encourage the decision regardless.

Agnes was confused, to say the least. She was a girl that knew what she wanted but she wasn’t exactly sure how to go about achieving it. She loved Rebecca, deeply, but she was angry that she didn’t quite feel like she could have her. Admittedly the both of them had plenty of one another last night but she wanted more than the physical – she wanted to be with her again. But how could she do that in good conscious? How could she break up her relationship with Nessa and then damage her own relationship with River like this? Admittedly River wasn’t perfect but something about her made the violinist fall for her, did it?



She sighed, feeling herself begin to get a little anxious about the whole ordeal. She just didn’t know what to think. Any other time, to any other person, she would have said that all this was wrong, that the guilty party needed to come forward, end things with their engaged, and move on with their lives. After all, what was the point of denying yourself happiness and ruining another person’s? It was ridiculous. But there was a difference when it was yourself who was suffering from these instances.



What could she do? She looked over to Rebecca, her gaze fleeting as the water poured over her shoulders. This was wrong, wasn’t it? So many people were going to get hurt and she was already pulling Gina into her lies. That wasn’t right? Since she wasn’t entirely sure, she decided to put on a bold face and just asked – were they doing this?



Rebecca, seemingly struck by the question, laid out her cards on the table. She brushed the dark hair from her eyes, smiled with earnestness, and spoke.


>> ”Aggie…Ah want tae dae this. Thes is real. Ah cannae act loch ye arenae th' one Ah want tae be wi'.”



Agnes felt a swell in her heart. Rebecca was saying absolutely everything that Agnes didn’t know how to saw. She wanted this too, she wanted to be with her because, in the end, there was no one else for her? But was that just more nostalgia talking? Agnes had been able to move on once and she thought that she was happy? Had she really been fooling herself this whole time? Was that even possible? She gulped as the inevitable name appeared on her lips.



”But…Nessa…” she started to say. She was interrupted when Rebecca plucked up the bottle of complimentary soap, poured some into her hands and lathered it up before smeared a bit of it onto Agnes’ shoulders, bringing a small smile to her lips.



>> ”Ah’m... Ah’m endin' things wi' Vanessa. It isnae reit, an' Ah want ye tae know hoo committed Ah am tae thes.”



She gulped. Rebecca was actually going to end things with Nessa. She was going to end her relationship with another woman just for her? Agnes was touched, to be honest, but she was also just the tiniest bit guilty. It was her fault that Nessa was going to suffer a blow like this. Agnes had already experienced that kind of pain before and she saw it in the face of her own ex, Jasmine, when she had broken up with her just to be with Rebecca. Now she was going to be responsible for another broken heart? The thought actually made her feel giddy…and just a tiny bit sick.



”Rebecca…” she started to say. ”I…I love you…” she said softly, her hand reaching up to cup her cheek. ”Are you sure…you want to do this?” she asked firmly. After a moment she clarified. ”I just..want to be sure that this is actually what we want…and not just us trying to relive the past.”

Rebecca was glad she asked about late check-out when they checked in the night earlier. She needed time to be with Agnes, both to talk things out and to enjoy each other uninterrupted. They were not in apartments often shared with others, found easily at a moment’s notice. The hotel was hidden and anonymous; only Rebecca, Agnes, and the front desk knew that room fifty-forty-one was theirs. A secret space for them overlooking New York.

It was not that Rebecca was unaware of how selfish her decisions had been. In retrospect, she wished she had done things differently. Hurting Nessa was never her intention, because they never should have started. She did not like making Agnes a cheater, but she needed to be honest about her feelings, and honestly led them into a shower where Rebecca’s hands were gliding across Agnes’s waist, water running down her body. All her mistakes came from lying to herself and not telling Agnes the truth, and for better or worse, that was her plan going forward.

Dropping the bomb that she was leaving Nessa left an impact, but not the one Rebecca necessarily expected. The news seemed to make Agnes more nervous than excited. There was a hand at her cheek, and it felt like Agnes was cautioning her to think about her decision carefully. She was still hesitant, possibly looking back at their recent “almost” and how quickly they recanted what they wanted.

”Aggie,” she began, confident of everything she wanted to say. ”Ah’m through playin’ careful coz ay th’ risks.” She knew going into this decision that things might not work out and she would be left with nothing. It was a choice she had to make; there was already too much she had done to Nessa to let that relationship continue anyway.

There were obviously aspects of their relationship steeped in nostalgia. Worrying that they were falling in love with ghosts was a real concern, but not one Rebecca would burden herself with. ”Uir pest is one hin'... Ah want tae know if we can hae a future together. Ah’m sick ay wonderin'.”

The one elephant in the room had gone unacknowledged so far, but Rebecca knew it was on her to bring it up. ”Ah know… mebbe ye choose tae stay wi’ River. If that happens… Ah git it.” The very thought of it sat uneasily in her stomach, but she was not going to force Agnes to make the choice she was making. ”Ah jist cannae pretend, an' Ah want ye tae know Ah’m committed tae makin' thes wark. If that’s still possible,” she added, hoping they were not beyond redemption.

Her hand found the knob, intending to turn it, but stopped herself. Instead, Rebecca kissed Agnes’s soft lips and stepped out of the shower. ”Ah’m gorna call fur breakfast. Ah’ll be waiting,” she purred playfully, hiding the fact that she was walking away to give Agnes some time for herself to think. When she emerged, they could keep talking, or they could return to their carefree fun; Rebecca would be ready for either.

She was scared. Why shouldn’t she be? The last time the two of them were together, they had both agreed (even if it was a bit reluctantly) that their reunion had been a mistake. The pair of them had seemingly come their senses, trying to remember that they were supposed to be ex-lovers. How could they be that after they had just finished making love. And now it happened again so it was of little surprise that Agnes was a little gun shy about all this. There was another factor of this, one that she still wasn’t quite sure how to voice.



She loved Rebecca. She cared about her utterly. But she also didn’t trust her. Maybe that was too harsh to truly voice, but it was certainly something that bounced around in the back of her mind. How could she trust Rebecca again? The Scot had up and left her when she went to Oxford. She was never asked to come along and the sense of abandonment that filled the young woman was all-together impossible to comprehend. Even now Agnes didn’t realize that was what was making her hesitant, all she knew was that there was a reason that they weren’t together and all this felt so much like playing with fire.



So she asked. She wanted to know, was this really what Rebecca wanted? They were both in relationships already so were they both willing to end what they knew was supposed to work for a shot at something that could fail again? Agnes couldn’t take it if they broke up again. What if Rebecca realized that this was a mistake after all? That only was what made her suck in her breath and just ask.



>> ”Aggie….Ah’m through playin’ careful coz ay th’ risks.”



She held Rebecca’s gaze. The Scot sounded so absolutely sure of herself that the ex-runaway didn’t know what to think. Admitted Rebecca was speaking to a part of her that she truly understood. She wanted so badly to just say “screw it” to every and just embrace the young woman and not care if everything worked out or not. But, as much as she wanted to be that kind of girl…she wasn’t. Her early life had taught her that there were some things that she always needed to fight her and home and stability were two of them.



But where did “Love” fit on that list?



>> ”Uir pest is one hin'... Ah want tae know if we can hae a future together. Ah’m sick ay wonderin'.”



Agnes sniffled, feeling as if her heart had been touched by that simple sentence. She nodded. ”So do I…” she said somewhat weakly.



But as much as she wanted to know what their future could be like, she also had to remember the one roadblock that was still in her way – River. River Red Fish, a girl she had fallen in love with on a bus, a girl whom she had promised her hand in marriage to, now the only thing that was keeping Agnes from the sheer and utter bliss that the picture of she and Rebecca promised her. But how could she just chuck another woman aside for the redhead? She had already done that once and look what had happened. Was it destined to repeat all over again?



>> ”Ah know… mebbe ye choose tae stay wi’ River. If that happens… Ah git it. Ah jist cannae pretend, an' Ah want ye tae know Ah’m committed tae makin' thes wark. If that’s still possible,”



It was as if Rebecca could read her thoughts. Her expression reflected her sadness at the thought of River and at the thought of breaking her heart. It wasn’t right. River didn’t deserve that, even if she has been a pain-in-the-butt lately. Then again, wasn’t Agnes herself the cause of all that pain? Part of her wanted to believe that breaking up with her would be a mercy. She could be free to move on, but really, which side of her brain was saying that? The logical or the side that just wanted the freckled redhead she was currently sharing a shower with?



Rebecca reached passed her for the shower knob, but stopped, catching Agnes’ eye. Suddenly she leaned forward, pushing her lips against her. Agnes felt her breath be sucked away, her went hands wrapped around the slick, but cleaned form of her lover. One hand reached up, fingers slipping through her soaking wet hair. In that instantly passion was reignited but it was cut off when Rebecca turned away and climbed out of the shower.



>> ”Ah’m gorna call fur breakfast. Ah’ll be waiting,”



She teased. Despite the real talk that had just happened, Agnes was smiling as she watched her slip away and out of the bathroom. She sighed deeply, watching the doorway she disappeared through. She could hear her voice in the other room, calling for room service. Agnes herself turned back around to face the torrent of water, sighing as the warm cascaded across her body. She would finish her shower in silence as she had a lot to think about.

After drying herself off with a towel, she grabbed one of the complimentary robes from the closet. There was something to be said about the little luxuries in a hotel. Her robe was plush, and more comfortable than most blankets she had known. The bed and the shower were both carefully designed and engineered to promote rest and relaxation. With a quick call down to the hotel restaurant, Rebecca had placed an order for eggs, bacon, French toast, pancakes (blueberry, not banana, sadly,) coffee, milk, and juice. She had already splurged on a room, so what was the harm in splurging on breakfast? They had burnt a lot of calories the night before, (and she hoped they might burn a few more before check out.) Everything was so convenient and welcoming; if she could afford it, she would stay all week.

At the very least she had a few more hours to spare before she returned to her apartment, where she was expected to cook for herself like a barbarian. In that time, she wanted things to go well with Agnes. Until she knew exactly which decision her still-technically-ex girlfriend would make, Rebecca was essentially competing with another woman for her affection. This meant she had to commit to trying harder, and doing what she could to remind Agnes of why they worked. River had the advantage; they had lived together for a while. Then again, with the way River had been acting lately, maybe that was no longer much of a benefit.

Rebecca had a lot to make up for, and if she wanted another chance, she had to learn lessons from her past self, as well as River. They had to talk things out when trouble arose, which seemed to be a flaw in their first relationship. Rebecca could not be pushy or suspicious or controlling, because those were the very traits that pushed Agnes away from her fiancée. Most importantly, she could not take anything for granted and let Agnes go as long as she was willing to be hers. This was her last chance and she knew that.

The food arrived promptly, and Rebecca led the employee to place the large tray on a nearby table. She looked it over, feeling her mouth water a little after a night of spent energy leaving her stomach wanting. Luckily, Agnes’s reappearance followed soon after, prompting the Scot to stop politely waiting and grab a crispy piece of bacon from the plate. ”Mm, welcome back. Ah present breakfast, loovingly made by strangers.”

Becca eyed the brunette, trying to cautiously probe for the results of her thinking time. ”Sae… hae a guid shower wi’out me?” She was still unsure if they were going to continue discussing things or just enjoy each other’s company in the remaining time they had that day.

Agnes was left with her thoughts, a state of being that wasn’t always the best for her. Whenever she was alone, Agnes tended to overthink things. She didn’t like to admit it, but it was a truth about her. She didn’t want to over think she and Rebecca but it was a bit too late for that now. She needed to overthink things because of how complicated everything else became. She didn’t want her world to get overly complicated but she couldn’t think of what else to do. She loved Rebecca and at some point she loved and made a promise to River, how could she just step back from any of that?



Resting under the shower head, Agnes just sighed as she closed her eyes and let the water drip down over her. She needed this chance to breathe, to let her mind wander and not think about any possible relationships. Ironically all this was so much easier when she was younger and now she was finding herself unable to really think straight. What was she to do?



Agnes tried to not think about it but, more often than not, her thoughts kept drifting back to her ex-lover in the next room. It felt silly to keep referring to her as that, especially since the two of them were still carrying on together. The first time may have been accidental (whatever that means) but a second time was purely intentional. River was being a pill, Rebecca confessed her feelings to her, and Agnes was absolutely swept off of her feet.



Huh. It was funny. However much she tried to push the redhead out of her head, the woman kept popping back in. In all honesty, it was one of those signs that, really, she just needed to take it for what it was. Her heart belonged to Rebecca, it always had. River had been there when she needed her but Rebecca, well, the woman always held a majority of her love. Now that there was a chance to reclaim that, how could she deny it?



That was it. She wasn’t going to deny it anymore. A firm smile on her lips, she washed out the remaining soap from her hair and body, turned off the water and couldn’t hide the smile on her face. She wasn’t going to cheat herself (sorry, word choice) anymore. Grabbing a towel, Agnes stepped out of the shower, dried herself off, and then proceeded to grab a bathrobe. After appropriate brushing her teeth and drying her hair, Agnes marched out into the room where her lover was already waiting with a plate full of food.



>> ”Mm, welcome back. Ah present breakfast, loovingly made by strangers…Sae… hae a guid shower wi’out me?”



Agnes smiled as she continued to march directly for Rebecca. She didn’t see that she had put the bacon in her mouth and was chewing as she asked how the shower went. Without word, Agnes stepped up to her, cupped her hand behind her head and pulled her in for a deep, passionate kiss. Agnes felt her breath get swept away but also found the oddest sensation of salty, charred bacon bits assaulting her tongue. After inhaling a few of those tiny bits that now poked her throat, Agnes broke the kiss and coughed loudly.



”Ack! S-Sorry,’ she said between coughs. ”T-That was supposed to be way more romantic than that.”

It felt like Rebecca was waiting for the moment of truth when Agnes’s form emerged, refreshed and clad in a matching robe. Either she took her time to think things over in the shower, or she was truly enamored with the hotel soap. Everything between them lately had felt like three steps forward and two steps back; they were making progress with each other, but it was slow, regressive progress marred by hesitation. It would not have been surprising for Agnes to have return from her shower with a renewed sense of devotion to her fiancée, calling for an end to their tryst (again.) It would have been disappointing, but not surprising.

Imagine Rebecca’s join when she was met with a loving smile from her lover. Agnes took confident strides toward her, and was on the redhead before she could swallow or give fair warning for what she was walking into. The kiss would have been intense and sensual, if not for the bacon bits Agnes unwittingly inhaled along the way.

Agnes broke their kiss to enter a coughing fit, which prompted Rebecca to break into a fit of laughter. She felt bad, but it was such a turnaround from the insect queen’s original intent, it was hard not to see the humor. Agnes was speaking, even if it was a struggle, so she was clearly fine. Regardless, the giggling exish-girlfriend offered a few comforting pats on the back. ”Ah dunnae know whit ye mean. 'At was verra romantic. Ah swooned.” she teased, though she was genuinely enamored with Agnes. The kiss did not go the way she hoped, but the whole moment was so… genuine. Love was not perfect. Occasionally there were bacon bits. But they were still in love.

Once Agnes’s coughing calmed down, Rebecca took one of the blueberries from the plate of pancakes and swiped it through a dollop of whipped cream. ”Hoo abit somethin’ a wee bit easier,” she suggested with a smirk, placing the small fruit on the tip of her tongue before pulling Agnes in for a passionate, deep kiss.

This is what she gets for trying to emulate all those clichéd romantic scenes from every movie, television show, and play that the pair of them had watched together. The arts made it look like such a simple thing. Just walk over, confidently, plant lips upon the target, and kiss them as if their life depended on it. It was supposed to be one the most ultimate romantic gestures but for Agnes it simply couldn’t go as planned. No, if that were to ever happen, it would through the universe completely out of alignment. It wasn’t far, but it just happened to be the life that Agnes lived.



Shaking her head at the ridiculousness of it all, the young violinist stood off to the side, coughing her lungs out at the offensive bits of bacon that were currently attacking the inside of her throat. Rebecca was laughing, that much she could tell, but her coughing had drowned out most of what she had said. Thankfully, while she wasn’t sure, it was precisely what she wanted to hear.



>> ”Ah dunnae know whit ye mean. 'At was verra romantic. Ah swooned.”



She smirked, shaking her head as she straightened up, patting her chest to help ease some of the pain from her coughing fit. Her wings wanted to flutter but they were pinned firmly against her back and simply would not be able to budge. But maybe that was a good thing as she could set her wings fluttering and causing more damage than she meant to.



So, heading over to the tray of food, Agnes picked up a glass of complimentary water and slowly started to drink it. She wanted to down it but knew that wouldn’t serve her best. Drinking slow, she swirled the water in her mouth, dislodging whatever bits of the bacon she could before she swallowed. Already she was feeling infinitely better but the look on the face of her lover seemed to bring her the rest of the way.



>> ”Hoo abit somethin’ a wee bit easier,”



Agnes smiled, blushing a little, as Rebecca plucked up a blueberry and swirled it in whipped cream. As she advanced on the violinist, she placed it on the tip of her own tongue before she went in for a much deeper and much more passionate kiss. The cream was sweet on her tongue and the at one point one of them bit the blueberry, sending the juice between them. Everything tasted absolutely electric and Agnes had to admit that Rebecca’s romantic gesture was far more romantic than her own.



When the kiss inevitable ended, Agnes wavered a little, giggling a bit lightheadedly as she placed her hands on Rebecca’s shoulders. As her world settled, she pushed in closely, sharing another kiss with her before her expression turned a little more somber. Chewing on her lip, her expression almost made it look like she was going to change her mind about all this, but the look in her eyes said otherwise. Her voice lowered a little as she spoke.



”I…I won’t let you go again…” she said softly. ”I love you.” she shrugged, feeling a tear sting her eye. ”I always have.” she nudged her nose against Rebecca’s. ”I always will.”

Kissing Agnes was a sensation Rebecca never wanted to give up again. The intermingling of tongues, the warmth of her presence nearby, and the undeniable spark that always roared into a flame when they shared these intimate moments. Agnes was the first to make her feel that spark, and Rebecca was convinced more than ever that she wanted her to be the only one who ever gave her that feeling. The berry and cream added their own sweetness to the playful moment, but Becca did not need anything more than the woman in her arms.

The kiss broke, and Agnes was not alone in giggling. Everything still seemed like a dream, or some mind-impairing fantasy. There was another kiss, less intense, but no less intimate, and suddenly she was being looked to with a serious expression. Rebecca braced herself; if her last loving moment ever with Agnes had ended so abruptly, she might die from a combination of heartbreak and whiplash. She braced herself for what might come next.

The words felt like they echoed in her mind and in her heart, reverberating, making everything real again. This was not a fantasy; Agnes was there, in her arms, professing her love. Her never-ending love. Rebecca’s nose scrunched when nudged with the tip of Agnes’s nose, and she could already feel the tears pooling in her eyes. Happy tears; she had missed happy tears. Another thing she was grateful to Agnes for returning to her.

”That's aw Ah coods hae ever wanted tae hear.” Rebecca brushed away the water from her eyes before returning her arm around the slender waist of the woman she loved. ”Ah loove ye, Aggie. Mair than anyain. Mair than anythin'.” And she was never going to stop proving that to her.

There was still plenty of reality for them to deal with and talk about, but this was not the moment. River’s name would not be present in this memory when she looked back on it fondly years later. Instead, Rebecca cupped Agnes’s cheek in her hand and smiled. ”Come on. Ah want tae shaur breakfest wi' th' loove ay mah life.”

It was the sweetest and most endearing thing that the young violinist had ever experienced. The kiss was everything that she wanted it to be and it on inflamed the passion that she already had in her heart for this woman. All she ever wanted was her and she felt ridiculous for ever giving her up. She never should have done it. She should have gone with Rebecca to Oxford, she should have begged her to stay in New York. But now wasn’t the time for thinking back on the things that should have or would have been. This was the now and this was precisely what they needed to focus on.

Professions of love were made and Rebecca caught a tear in her eye, the same kind that was rolling down Agnes’ cheek. She couldn’t believe that they were actually doing this, but it was happening. They were going to be together again. There was going to be some heartache concerning their own lovers, but that was a detail that would be handled later. Right now, at this moment, this was all that Agnes never wanted from her lover and she was damn thankful for her. She would gladly face the anger of River before she ever decided to let Rebecca go again.

Another kiss and the pair of them turned to enjoy breakfast, and whatever other fun they could have before they were required to leave the hotel. All that matter was the two of them and the immediate future.

---

The rest of the morning had been activity filled. After the two of them had shared breakfast, they couldn’t help but fall into one another’s arms again. All it took was the smallest kiss, the softest touch, and their libidos were enflamed once again. They had at least finished breakfast this time before the two of them found themselves longing for the touch of one another. Their lips met and those coy little touches became far less subtle. Before long, the two found bliss and serenity in their palace of silken sheets and overly fluffy pillows.

The hour to their exit had to eventually draw near but the both were only slightly sadden by it. Of course there was the fear of the coming world that lay just outside that smooth, mahogany door, but Agnes felt particularly empowered that everything was going to be alright. It wasn't like the last time where they would be leaving confusion and fear behind. Today they were leaving this room together and together was how they would stay.

Agnes herself, after some cute whining, finally managed to detach herself from her lover and shower once again. She had a difficult talk ahead with River and the last thing that she wanted was to make matters worse by smelling of the redhead’s perfume. The accusations would already be flying, the last thing she needed was too compound the problem with verification of her presumed unfaithfulness.

Fixing the last but of her hair, Agnes finally returned to the Scottish temptress as she sat in bed. Agnes gave her a soft smile and claimed a seat at the end of the bed an she sought her shoes. She assumed now was the best time to address the elephant in the room.

”After we say goodbye…I’ll message River to meet me somewhere,” her gaze lowered to the ring she had to put back on her finger. ”And I’ll tell her she and I are done.” She took a shaky breath. She wasn’t looking forward to this. At. All.