It was a couple days before the pretrial was set up. A test run as Sam had put it, to make sure he had his story straight. Before that Sam had taken care of telling the lawyers the changes in his story. Which of course made the team scrabble. At least from what Alex had heard, they didn't sound too pleased about it. The trial was a mess as it was, with the last minuet lawyer switch and the AMA chat with Alex that accidentally went viral. Not to mention, gathering a jury that was fair.

He had been told that everybody was here to help but he was sure that the wait was some sort of punishment. He tried working off the nervous energy, purposely pushing himself in hopes that his body would just relax. It wasn't working. He felt like a rabbit caught in a snare. All frantic struggle with nowhere to go. Knowing that if he didn't get out soon, the jaws of some predator was liable to snap him up.

God he wanted to sleep, maybe eat something but he didn't trust his stomach to keep it down. His constructs were no better, even the normally quiet Pick and Pocket were restless. It felt like only Ace was at least somewhat stable, but even he felt the need for flight.

They removed the ankle bracelet, finally, and he was packed into a car and driven to the courthouse. It was there that the lawyers had set up a temporary office and were ready to do the dry run of the trial. Alex wasn't so ready, in fact the only thing he was ready for was puking. Closing his eyes and leaning back against the headrest he hoped he didn’t look as bad as he felt.

Who the hell was he kidding, of course he did...

Sam met with the three lawyers before they went back into the office to meet with Alex. Sam had hit on the one female lawyer a few times already, which she politely shot him down. Sam guessed it was because of them working together but he could see her occasionally looking at him when his back was turned. Got to love the heat sense. Sam also discussed with them about the defense and how things were going to go. At first they wanted to see what they were shooting for and after some convincing Sam managed for them to agree that not only that Alex was innocent but also he was indeed just a kid that needed help. When they walked into the office all three lawyers were looking very professional as if they were heading to actual court. One by one they entered with Sam walking in behind them a flask now removed from his pocket once the door was shut.

Taking a swig Sam pointed to the three lawyers starting with the taller older gentleman who had silver skin to match his hair, he was obviously a mutant but they way he carried himself he was no different from the other two sitting in the room. ”Alex, this Connor Costello, Jack Wayne, and this lovely lady is…” the woman chimed in sounding irritated, ”My name is Julia Mae, we are here to help you Alex, we are all very good at what we do. We all have won numerous cases and made big strides for mutant and human equality.” Sam smirked and then looked to Alex, ”Great isn’t she?”

Walking to the back of the room and reaching into a backpack Sam had brought earlier he pulled out a ginger soda for Alex and set it down in front of the kid. ”Relax, you look like you’re gonna be sick. I’d rather not clean anything up today.” Sam was about to continue but then Julia walked over and patted Alex on the back while glaring at Sam. “He has been through a lot, be nice.” She said as she continued to pat Alex. ”Well we still have some work to do. But if you cooperate with us Alex I’m sure we can take care of this little misunderstanding.” said Jack he pulled out a small rag and started to rub his balding head of the sweat.

Connor remained quite but just kept staring at Alex as if he was trying to see something hidden. The longer he looked the sterner he seemed to be. ”Any who, I took the liberty to get you a suit, and I got a ride for you to the trial, we are all gonna be with you every step of the way.” Sam took a swig of his flask and then looked to Connor, ”Connor, didn’t you want to ask him some questions?”

Connor stopped staring and finally blinked then looked at Sam, ”Mr. Johnson I asked you a dozen times to stop drinking in the court house. Sam took one last long swig before putting his flask in his pocket. Julia, Connor and Jack all sat down across from Alex and then started writing down some questions they thought would come up in the courtroom. ”Alex you have any questions for them before they start?”

Alex had to wait in the meeting room while Sam talked to the lawyers. About what he wasn't entirely sure. He had assumed that they were on board with helping him, they wouldn't have come if they weren't. At least that's what he hoped. He couldn't know the minds of other people, not really. Inferences via body language and tones of voice only said so much. And in this case he had neither. Only the information Sam had given him.

He tried not to let that train of thought go on for too long.

By the time the adults arrived in the room, he was ready to duck under the table and attempt to sleep off his unrest. It was better than sitting in silence while his head felt like it was in a tumble dryer with how restless the constructs were. At least they were quieter now, knew that help was on the way. They didn't trust it but they didn't have very many options.

Connor, Jack, and Julia were introduced, all were impressive looking and perhaps intimidating. Julia introduced herself, seemingly irritated with Sam. What the man did to earn her ire he couldn't say, but the flask probably wasn't helping. He was getting the feeling that Sam had a problem when it came to alcohol. There wasn't a time that he could recall when the man hadn't had the scent of it on him. Connor however was the one who made him the most uneasy. The man was staring him down with ever increasing intensity. Almost as if the man was trying to see through him or read his mind. Whatever the case, he hoped the silver man wouldn’t be too harsh towards him.

He murmured a thank you for the soda and the kindness Julia showed. Jack seemed assured that this would clear up as a misunderstanding rather quickly. The adults in the room all seemed so sure, he wished he had half their confidence. A dose to douse the nervous bile in his gut. He didn’t know how much of it was from him and how much he could blame on the constructs but it felt like an echo chamber, a feedback loop of worried thoughts.

“Anywho, I took the liberty to get you a suit, and I got a ride for you to the trial, we are all gonna be with you every step of the way. Connor, didn’t you want to ask him some questions?”

He looked from Sam to Connor, who seemed to be shaken out of his staring, only to turn his glare on the X-Team leader, “Mr. Johnson I asked you a dozen times to stop drinking in the courthouse.”

Flask put away, the three lawyers sat across from him, he could feel the constructs cringe. They felt like a wall, to that animal part of them, and thus him, it felt like they were being cornered. He knew that this seating arrangement meant no harm, that it was merely so they could all talk to him, that was the logic of it. But animals weren’t logical and as stressed as he was he could feel their fear seep into him.

“Alex, you have any questions for them before they start?”

He glanced at Sam before returning his gaze to the can, where he was plucking at the tab of the soda can. “A couple, I guess...What are the steps of a trial? I mean I’ve watched a few shows with trials in them but are they like that? Do you know if they’re going to be any witness? Or is it just going to be me versus whatever evidence they can twist? Will I have to talk about my past or will the trial only stay with this event? What are my chances, anyway? The news is making me out to be a monster, do you think that will affect the jury? Will I have to wear something to suppress my mutation, like the collars? They made me wear one at the hospital and I really don’t want that to happen again.”

Okay, not just a couple, a billion times two. But no one could blame him, information was the only thing he could hold onto.

Sam looked around for a chair then decided to create his own as Alex started to ask the question. He had a feeling that it was going to be a long day so with a simply show of his powers a small ice chair formed and turned into a recliner as he sat down to look at the other four. ”Bum Bum!” Sam continued on with the law and order notes until Julia shot him a glare, ”Stop that!” Sam did then looked to Connor who was trying to answer the best question first, or rather the answer Alex would like first. ”You’ll have a collar.” Sam said trying to relive some of the tension in the room.

”You’re a mutant and this is a murder trial. Even though it was self-defense they will want to make sure you can’t do anything to escape or hurt anyone else. Maybe throw one of those people who can cancel out powers like Gemma.” Sam looked to Connor then raised an eyebrow. Connor clearly had more experience in cases such as this so it would make more sense coming from him seeing as he was the lawyer. Connor stared at Sam then looked to Alex and stared at him a second clearly chewing over his words. ”Like any normal trial both sides will try to convince the jury and judge one thing or another. This case however isn’t your typical case so we, the defense will try to prove to the jury that you were indeed acting in self defense and the prosecutors will try and convince the jury that you weren’t in any real danger and that you killed knowing full well what you were doing.” Sam waited for Connor to continue as he looked from Alex to Julia who was busy writing things down.

”They have witnesses and so do we, some were witness to the murder others will be character witnesses to both parties involved, the deceased and you.” Connor shifted his eyes over to Sam who was now staring at the ceiling pretending that he hadn’t volunteered to be a character witness. Jack at this point chimed in as he was writing down a few questions, ”They will most certainly ask you what had happened in your own words, then they will ask everyone else what they saw then they will show everyone the footage that was leaked onto the internet.” he didn’t look up the entire time but he was smiling as if he was discussing something else in hopes he could try and put Alex somewhat at ease.

“Not everyone thinks mutants are monsters.” Chimed Julia as she continued to elaborate, “Part of our job is to help pick a unbiased jury, people with friends or family members as mutants. We discussed with the prosecutors and they agree that to adequately determine if you are indeed a killer, which we know you aren’t we will have to discuss your history a bit.” Julia was actually looking at Alex with light hazel eyes as she smiled, “Don’t worry though, we think your history will help gain a little sympathy.” Sam scoffed, ”Kids an orphan and a runaway who had been terrified.” Sam’s eye was closed as his hands were behind his head, ”They are gonna eat it up.”

Connor cleared his throat and looked from Sam back to Alex and then proceeded to stare at him again.”Now these questions are going to be asked during the trial by both parties, we want to ask them now so we can figure out how you are going to respond. Stay away from words like ‘maybe’ and ‘I think’ remember the truth is what we are portraying here so to make you credible you have to be honest with the responses.” Connor paused to let the words sink in then he asked, ”Do you know the name of the boy you killed? Have you met this boy before?” Sam sat up and stared daggers at Connor. ”Let’s not ease into this?”

"You’ll have a collar. You’re a mutant and this is a murder trial. Even though it was self-defense they will want to make sure you can’t do anything to escape or hurt anyone else. Maybe throw one of those people who can cancel out powers like Gemma."

Alex flinched at the blunt reply and immediately shook his head. "They can't do that, I can't think when those things lock out my power. Someone like Miss T, might be okay for a while, but longer than an hour or two...You can ask the nurses at the hospital, I was completely out of it. I don't know if it'll cause lasting damage but I don't want to find out. Put a gun to my head if that will make everybody else feel safer but I won't wear those things." There had to some rule that could protect him from a potentially damaging device right. His powers were directly linked to his brain, shutting them off that long might end up doing permanent damage or even kill him.

He listened to them explain the trial proceedings, all it fairly logical. He really couldn’t argue with any of it, not that he would want to. The jury would at the very least be fair given that at least most, if not all of them, would have a connection to a mutant or the mutant community. Though when the thought of discussing his past came up, he couldn’t help but sink further into his seat. It wasn’t something he looked forward to.

“We discussed with the prosecutors and they agree that to adequately determine if you are indeed a killer, which we know you aren’t, we will have to discuss your history a bit. Don’t worry though, we think your history will help gain a little sympathy.” Julia seemed like a very kind person, that she genuinely believed what she was saying.

Sam’s scoff seemed pretty assured too, “Kids an orphan and a runaway who had been terrified. They are gonna eat it up.”

That might be true, but it might not be. There was no telling how sympathetic the jury would be. There was no telling if they would think him blameless child with a tragic backstory or a monster in the making, something that needed to be contained. He could see either coming up because he saw that in himself. If he could think that of himself, surely others would too.

“Now these questions are going to be asked during the trial by both parties, we want to ask them now so we can figure out how you are going to respond. Stay away from words like ‘maybe’ and ‘I think’. Remember the truth is what we are portraying here so to make you credible you have to be honest with the responses.”

Again he nodded, the truth or as much as he could tell anyway. He was still going to try to keep Hades out of it. He didn’t want to risk the man to whatever danger such a watched trial would bring. The man had selflessly helped him, the least he could do was protect him from a media attack.

“Do you know the name of the boy you killed? Have you met this boy before?”

He shifted uneasily in his seat while Sam glared at Connor for the question. But it was straightforward enough that he wouldn’t have to dance around it. “No I don’t, or at least I didn’t. The media has been bringing up his name a lot. But I have met him before. He and his friends attacked me at a park at night. I was able to fight them off and escape.” There, the truth, or at least most of it. Hopefully nobody would question the details of a fight like that.

Julia frowned at that, "And what were you doing at the park at night? Did you provoke them?"

Or not..."No, of course not. I was just there to practice by myself, put some distance between me and the city. I wasn't looking for a fight." He explained, sounding more defensive than he intended to. But it was the truth of the matter. Both times he was attacked without provocation, they were looking to hunt him. "I guess they saw me and decided I was worth targeting."

Sam made note of Alex’s protest and his reasoning behind it. The ice-macer knew that even though this trial, the whole concept of it was some kind of a cruel joke he knew that the judges and prosecutors wanted to go with every precaution to make it a fair and safe trial. Meaning if Alex’s head would be cloudy with a collar then it might be better to just have some adapted near by. Though that might be easier said that done. Sam tabled his thoughts as he listened to the interaction between the four of them from the comfort of his frozen recliner.

Instinctively he reached for his flask but found himself stopping when Alex answered his question every time any of this was brought up he could feel the fear and pain in Alex’s voice making Sam even more upset. If Alex didn’t kill the kid Sam might have. Maybe all of them. He kept that to himself though as Julia continued on with the questions and got some answers. Sam kept his mouth shut as he listened occasionally closing his eye and feeling the room instead of seeing it.

”So you went into the city to the park to avoid the city? I thought the mansion grounds had a lot of space for mutants to practice with their powers?” Jack still looked down as he wrote out his thoughts and didn’t even bother looking up. Connor stared Alex down some more as Julia wrote with a warm smile still maintaining focus on Alex.

”Now is that when you ran and hid for a week? Where did you go? Did you try and talk to them?” Connor’s silver skin had a slight glow to it as it reflected some of the sunlight making him a little more intimidating than before. Feeling the heat change from Connor, Sam chimed in with his eye still shut. ”Connor, you’re glowing again.”

They ignored his concerns about the collar, gave no reassurances that he wouldn't have to wear it. Perhaps they only thought that he was being a brat. That the discomfort was something about an inability to just handle it. But he knew on a deep level that being cut off in that way would hurt him. For now though, he would just have to deal with their silence and hoped that there could be some sort of work around.

"So you went into the city to the park to avoid the city? I thought the mansion grounds had a lot of space for mutants to practice with their powers?"

Alex stopped himself from rolling his eyes at the first question. Wouldn't do to get snippy with his own lawyers. "You're automatically assuming I went to Central Park in Manhattan. But there's one north of there called the Van Cortlandt Park. They do, but you can only practice in the same place so much before is starts to feel the same. There's no challenge to it."

"Now is that when you ran and hid for a week? Where did you go? Did you try and talk to them?"

"Yes, I headed further north, crossed a bridge...the Tappa...Tappa something, I don't remember. That night was a rush. All I know is that I kept moving, put as much distance between me and them as possible. So no, I didn't talk to them. It wasn't like I had a cell phone to call them, not that they seemed willing to give their names or numbers anyway." he explained the best he could, wincing as the silver man got brighter. Through the brightness he could see the man's glare on him.

He ducked his head a little, shielding his eyes with his hands. "Could you not do that? Or maybe shut the window?"he asked. Connor was definitely making him more and more uncomfortable, could he read thoughts? Or lies? Did he know or sense that he wasn't telling the whole truth? Or was the man just that good at spotting his bluff? He was already in enough trouble as it was and it wasn't like the added information about Hades changed anything he had done.

None of the lawyers moved to shut the blind, it was Sam that shot up from his recliner and walked over to the blind. He could feel the irritation from Connor but the others didn’t show any objections. This was all about Alex after all. ”Relax Alex, they are here to help, drink the soda.” it wasn’t a command but it might have sounded like one.

”We know there are other parks. We never mentioned central.” his glare continued as he cleared his throat as his brightness started to dim. ”….Where did you hide from the time you ran from them to the time you ran into them?” his tone was a serious one like anything Connor did. Sam turned from the window and gave a mock smirk and tilted his head behind the three of them as he looked to Alex trying to lighten the mode a bit as he pulled out his flask and took a sip. It was Julia who turned to see Sam drinking and mocking Connor and gave a glare in his direction but then smirked as she turned back to Alex.

”Sam go sit down and stop drinking in here!” she was about to continue yelling at him but then stopped and then shook her head while taking in a deep breath, ”Alex, can you describe how you felt to everyone and what was going through your head from the minute you first ran into them all the way to now.” Sam smirked, waiting to hear the answer. Clearly Julia was more than looks, the answer to this could mean the difference between Sam grabbing Alex and jumping from the courthouse window and Alex going home with no problems.

"Relax Alex, they are here to help, drink the soda."

Alex glanced at Sam then back at the soda, finally pulling the tab to open it. He leaned back against the seat as he sip it, shoulders hunched as he looked every bit the displeased teen that he was. He was ready to leave already, trial be damned. Thoughts of running returned to him. He knew of a hundred different places he could go, places that would be difficult to find. Back roads, abandoned homes, woods, warehouses. All it would take was the right moment to wriggle free of the snare.

He shoved the thoughts down, silenced the animal mind and banished it to a corner. He had a home here, a territory worth fighting for. There would be no more running. It wasn't worth it to spend so much time looking only to give up at the first sign of a real fight.

The adults were talking again, adding more questions to the pile.

"...Where did you hide from the time you ran from them to the time you ran into them?"

"I can't tell you exactly, I tried to stay away from streets. Headed north, then hitched a ride across the bridge. Once on the other side I stuck to the wooded area around a nearby suburb. I can barely remember the names of the streets. Tweed or south, I think on the other side of the woods was something like Braden or Bruce. I don't know. I wasn't really paying attention to those details. A week passed and I went to a nearby bus stop to head back." Partial truths, they were streets Hades had taken to get to his hide out and near where the bus he had taken had come from.

Sam was drinking again and somehow he was grateful for it. Temporarily taking the attention off of him at least. The lawyers didn't seem pleased but that was fine. They were uptight for his tastes anyway. It made him uneasy, or at least Connor still made him uneasy. The other two were okay, the woman being a little bit snippy though.

"Alex, can you describe how you felt to everyone and what was going through your head from the minute you first ran into them all the way to now?"

He tilted his head at the first part of the question. That was some odd wording. "Well, I can't exactly speak for them. But I got the feeling that they didn't like me very much. When I first saw them I was kind of confused. They just kind of came up to me while I was practicing. I stopped, thinking that it was some sort of neighborhood watch and they didn't like that I was using the park. Even though there was nobody around to bother. But then I noticed the bat and the way they were looking at me...Have you guys ever had the misfortune of running into an animal that thinks of you as prey?" He paused waiting for any indication that they understood.

"That's what it reminded me of. They were looking for a hunt and I was terrified enough to run. I was terrified during the beating, I was terrified while I escaped and hid and didn't sleep a wink, I was less afraid when I thought I had given them enough time to forget about me. Then I was right back to terrified when I woke up to see them looming over me, I was in pain and terrified when the bastard stabbed me, and was dying and terrified when I was trying to fight them off and nobody was helping me." He didn't realize that his voice was escalating, more panicked and tearful. He could feel the phantom pain of the knife wound, mostly healed but somehow still feeling fresh and gaping at odd times.

"And right now I'm terrified because people are calling me a monster in the making. Like I had planned this! And they believe it! Hell I believe it! I killed him and the blood won't come off, everybody can see it! I just want this to end! I want to stop seeing his fucking face every time I close my eyes!" The soda can crush under his hands, contents spilling out and shocking him back into reality. He hadn't even noticed that he was holding the can that way, nor the way his body was trembling or the tears brimming his eyes. He glanced at the people in the room before rushing to correct himself, wiping the tear off on his sleeve and the soda off on his jeans.

He sunk lower in his seat, hood of his hoodie pulled up in a rather childish attempt at hiding his embarrassment. He didn't care though, it was new and soft, courtesy of Miss T since his old hoodie got trashed in the fight. It was a small comfort for him. He didn't know what was worse, the fact that he had lost control like that or that he hadn't noticed that he was loosing control.

A raised eyebrow was directed at Alex as he sat back down in his chair. Alex never mentioned where he was hiding but it sounded a little different this time around. Meaning he was hiding something or he was really clueless, but that seemed out of character to Sam. Alex even though he was terrified seemed to think at least somewhat rational the self-defense killing aside.

It was untimely and a little inappropriate but Sam started to slow clap when he saw the tear run down Alex’s face after his explanation. It was the truth the tear and his voice confirmed it. The kid was innocent of being a killer and guilty of being in the wrong place wrong time. Sam stopped clapping when Julia shot Sam a dirty look. ”That’s enough Sam.” the ice mancer could tell she was satisfied with the answer as she jotted something down on her note pad.

”Kid you answer the question just like that in the court room… Everyone is gonna want to comfort you.” Jack pulled a napkin from his suit jacket and offered it to Alex.

Connor for the first time cracked a small smirk and his glow dimmed a bit more. ”Thank you for telling us the truth Alex. I know how hard this can be. We are going to do everything in our power to help you.” Connor looked to Sam and gave a slight nod before looking back to Alex, ”Now I know questions like that will be tough to answer but not only us but the prosecutors will be asking them. Like I said, they will try to make you trip up but if you keep sticking to the truth you will be fine.” Sam smirked, ”Careful Connor, comments like that might make people think you have a heart.” Sam then looked to Alex and attempted a wink.

Alex took the napkin, wiping his face and hands hurriedly. The slow clap from Sam didn't help, if anything it only served to magnify his embarrassment. They seemed pleased by his lack of control, by how much he was letting this affect him outwardly. He knew they weren't being cruel, that that's just how the jury and judge would work. They needed to see that this event was not orchestrated by some evil mutant but a matter of self-defense by a scared kid.

"Kid you answer the question just like that in the court room…Everyone is gonna want to comfort you."

But he didn't want comfort, he just wanted to be left alone. He was already planning his escape. He would wait till after the trial, after winter, enjoy his time with Jiri, and then disappear. That is...if the trial ended before the holiday period. There was no telling if the trial would be dragged out just to make things more difficult. He really hoped not, he wanted this to be done as quickly as possible. Hell he was ready to leave right now. He could feel the quake in his bones, a tension that wouldn't leave. The pounding pulse of a headache on the rise. He still felt sick.

"Thank you for telling us the truth Alex. I know how hard this can be. We are going to do everything in our power to help you. Now I know questions like that will be tough to answer but not only us but the prosecutors will be asking them. Like I said, they will try to make you trip up but if you keep sticking to the truth you will be fine."

God, if he could barely handle it here how was he supposed to handle it with a crowd watching. He could handle brief interactions with strangers, one on one talks about just about anything, hell he handled the internet chat room pretty easily. But being interrogated about a recent trauma, which had similarities to a past trauma, with people judging his reaction, his words, his every movement to see if he deserved freedom or a life in a cage...it was like his own personal hell.

Sam said something he didn't really catch, he didn't see the wink, not that it would help. None of this was helping, he wanted out, he had to get out, the air felt like it was choking him, squeezing tight around his neck. He stood abruptly, shaking his head frantically and muttering, "I can't," before moving toward the door. All he could think was out, get out, get out before the air chokes him, get out before they can pull him back, before anything can hurt him. Nothing could hurt him if he just keep moving.

Sam saw it before Alex started to move the kid was planning on running. Sam saw it before he had made that look before. Sam stood up lazily after Alex turned towards the door. The muttering under his breath was a sure sign that he was done for today and if the kid had his way done for life however, that wasn’t going to happen. Sam promised the kid he was safe at the mansion when he was around and last he checked Sam was indeed still around, maybe not sober but he was present.

”Alex…. Come back” Sam interjected, ”I think we are done for today actually. I’ll go talk to him and we can resume tomorrow okay? I think you guys got most of your questions answered as well.” Julia and Jack gave Sam a look like he wasn’t in charge but then Connor chimed in, ”I agree, he does need to be able to talk about this, we can’t have him breaking down on the stand and walking out. He won’t be able to walk out during court.” Sam felt Connor’s gaze and he ignored it. ”I’ll handle it.” Sam said as he stormed out shortly after Alex did.

”Hey!” Sam yelled after Alex who was still walking in what looked like a trance. ”Alex!” Sam yelled as he jogged after him until he caught up to him. The air around them got colder the more Sam had to jog showing some irritation but when Sam reached the Alex he put a hand on his shoulder. ”What did I promise you kid?”

He didn't hear them call out to him, didn't bother to respond. He was done, done with the questions and the looming trial and the panic that accompanied it. He just wanted out, an escape, something to calm the terrifying buzz in his skull. It was a feedback loop, him and his constructs worrying over the same thing over and over. Bouts of calm only did so much to stem the pressure, ease the panic that threatened to take over.

So when Sam placed a hand on his shoulder, he instantly slapped it away, turning and looking back at the man with fear far before the words caught up to him. He had been so caught up in himself that he hadn’t been paying attention. He hadn’t heard him approach, despite how loudly the hall echoed footsteps on tile. Nor had he felt the drop in temperature, when did it get colder?

“What did I promise you kid?”

He blinked, staring at the man a moment before looking away, “Something about making sure I’d be okay...I think…” He couldn’t remember. His head felt too full right now, a pressure that wouldn’t go away. He ran a hand over his face and shook his head, “But I don’t think I am, I’m not going to be okay, the trial isn’t going to be okay, nothing is going to be okay…” He wanted to hide, somewhere, anywhere but here. This felt like dying all over again.

Sam smirked when Alex realized what he had asked him and didn’t mind his hand was slapped away. ”Something like that.” Sam nodded his head, ”More of a you will always have a home at the mansion when I’m there.” he let the words sink in. ”I’ll make an amendment to that promise, the second you don’t feel like it is a home I’ll help you find a new one.” Sam let those words sink in as well.

Crouching a little so he was eye level with Alex he placed both hands on his shoulders. ”I also told you this would be the hardest thing you have ever gone trough in your life. I’ll be there every step of the way though. Us orphans got to look out for each other alright.” his voice sounded a little sterner than he intended but Alex needed to hear him. ”You run and you will never be able to come back here. Get out of your head, focus on why you want to stay here, what makes the mansion a home.” Sam continued to stare at him until he got some kind of indication that Alex had heard him.

”You listen to me, all will be well. Got it?”

"More of a you will always have a home at the mansion when I’m there. I’ll make an amendment to that promise, the second you don’t feel like it is a home I’ll help you find a new one."

Alex could only stare at the man, still feeling sick and exhausted from the questioning. He gave a numb nod, silent for the moment. It was clear he didn't entirely believe it but agreed if only to make the older male happy. In his head, he knew the likeliness of this happening was entirely in the air and had everything to do with whatever events leading up to that need of escape.

Sam's hands were on his shoulders, cold seeping through the warmth of his hoodie, "I also told you this would be the hardest thing you have ever gone trough in your life. I’ll be there every step of the way though. Us orphans got to look out for each other alright."

He shoved down the memory of the desert and the bodies and the man over top of him. Shoved down the need to share that incident, how it crossed over with this one, the guilt that ate at him. The need to tell Sam he had no idea what he had been through on his own, how he'll always end up alone.

"You run and you will never be able to come back here. Get out of your head, focus on why you want to stay here, what makes the mansion a home."

But everything that makes it home could be taken away, could be destroyed, could be changed. There were too many factors he couldn't control, hell he had no right to control. As he stared at Sam, he knew he couldn't stop himself from worrying about things.

"You listen to me, all will be well. Got it?"

How could he possibly know that, how could he even begin to promise that. Still he found himself nodding again, "Okay, yeah, I got it..." His voice felt tight and he couldn't help but look down instead of at Sam.