Saphirus bit his lip. He bit it hard. He bit it so hard that there was no way, no way at all a laugh could escape from his mouth. What else could the poor man do? He'd just seen his girlfriend sprint out of a store while being shown an item that crushed her innocence, charge head on into a men's restroom on accident, scream at the top of her lungs along with the man who had to have been peeing when she entered.

He held his ground, a general fighting against impossible odds. The corner of his mouth started to lift, and he forced it down. No! No laughy! He was an adult, damnit, and he had to be compassionate, and supportive of her in this trying and embarrassing moment! He would stand tall as a pillar of support, awesomeness, and abs!

"....T-that... was the men's restroom..." "BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" S#*@! "Ahem! Y- yeah it was... So... um... Not sure what to say... You wanna try a store we know will be safe" He pointed out of the bathroom hallway to a large entrance to an even larger store. "Gracy's... Can't go wrong with Gracy's." He reached his hand out to the fallen little lady. It was probably about time for them to finally have a normal shopping experience.

He...

He laughed at her!

Her face grew hot, and she resisted the urge to kick weakly at him. It wasn't funny, darnit! Not funny at all!

With a huff, the Greek sent him a very cross look... but accepted the hand up. Though she was unappreciative of the laughter, she knew he didn't mean her any ill with it. Her eyes fell on the bag she had tossed from the bathroom, and she felt a wave of sheepish embarrassment wash over her. It didn't help at all with the blushing.

"...Yeah.. I guess we really should." Leaving him temporarily, she gathered the abandoned things, taking care to place everything back in the bag as it had been. "...I am sorry I...um.. freaked out. I have never...well... um..."

She had never been assaulted with such improper, vile things in all of her life... was what she was trying to say... but, looking at him, she just couldn't manage the words. He always made everything better... even things as horrible as what had just happened.

The sheepish feeling was replaced with a sudden, overwhelming fluttery feeling in her stomach, and she was on cloud nine again. (whatever that meant) "Oh, you know what I mean."

She rejoined him, still brown faced, and walked along side him as they headed for the store he had pointed out. It was thankfully one she had been in before, so she knew that there were no surprises laying in wait.

While they walked, she made sure to reach for his hand again.

...The butterflies only got worse.

Ahh, Gracy's... It was... well, it was kinda mid-high class... Nothing really risque about it, It was, to be honest, kinda boring... BUT! This was the deal sealer, here...

It was safe. Nothing embarrassing, odd, or frightening could happen at a Gracy's right? He smiled as her hand reached for his, and he gently slid his fingers into hers. "So... wachu wanna look at?" He scanned the front of the store somewhat hesitantly... To tell the truth, he'd never put any effort into shopping before; he always just grabbed what ever was either kinda funny, or plain, and dragged it to the counter... Or, well... most of the time, actually, he stole it. Not anymore, though!

To tell the truth, he hadn't bought new close since... well, the last time they'd shopped together, and before that, it was when he was much younger... That was the perk about staying in pretty good shape; you really didn't grow out of much. That, and you could look in the mirror, and say things like, 'Nice abs, bro. Oh wait, you're me.' ... not that he'd ever done that.

Not. At. All.

"You wanna look at stuff for you, first? I don't mind..." He eyed the women's department, and then the men's department... honestly, it was mostly sweaters and button ups in the men's department... not his kinda style... The women's stuff would prolly suit her, though, right? Modest, but not medieval.

"You wanna look at stuff for you, first? I don't mind..."

"Well... I already kinda know what I want to get." She started, her eyes casting about nervously just in case any sales associates were lurking nearby, waiting to pounce upon her like in the last two stores. Tugging on his hand, she led the way into the women's department to get started. The first thing that caught her eye was a clearance rack, and (thankfully) after a few minutes of rifling through it she found a few articles of clothing that would work for her. (After a few brief tug-o-war matches with Saph over things he didn't want her wearing, of course.) Like baggy, comfortable looking sweaters. Hmph! The shirts she found would fit her new shape decently enough though, as well as a few blouses that were more than work appropriate, if a little showy when it came to the bust. She managed to snag two skirts, as she'd been instructed to purchase, that she was sure would make it hard to walk. How did women get around in heels when their cloths clung to their hips and knees so tightly like that? She was sure she'd never really be able to figure out the answer to that question, surely.

But! Within a few minutes she was completely done shopping, and she'd even found two pairs of new shoes! "I think I shall buy this for myself, if you don't mind..." With a smile, she folded her armful of clothing into a cart, and all but dragged Saph over to the mens section. She had a lot of ideas that she wanted to try out on him... but, was concerned about seeming too pushy. He didn't have the same taste in clothing that she did. "Now it's your turn to model some clothing." She grinned, and poked him in the chest gently.

Awww man...

He hated shopping.

Seriously...

Hated.

Still... Having a certain someone around made it... tolerable... That was saying a lot, because as he stood, in a wife beater, an upside down golf visor, cargo pants, and exposed boxers, he noted that without her there, he may have opted to jump off of something really high, and not land on the right side.

"Uh... Next? Please god, next."

Next it was!

This one wasn't much better... A black turtle neck, gold chain, and leather pants... Jesus... The shades only made it look worse. He stood, looking at the mirror, and back to Andy... Was this some harsh way of paying him back for the first store?

"It would be a mercy killing."

He couldn't help but smile a little, though... He had to admit, deep down inside... he was probably having as much fun with this as she was. Next!

Letterman Jacket, aviators, jeans. He waggled his eyebrows at her, and pretend tossed a football. Turning to her afterwards. "Eh..? Eh?" Nope.

Next!

Red leather suit ala a certain comedian... He attempted the signature eddy laugh, and kinda got close to it. Not even close!

Next!

A black shirt that said "I'm with no one." with a forever alone face on it, and jeans... He felt rather comfortable on it. "Well, wacha think? Clothing set number one?"

First outfit; a no-go.

Second... meh.

Third... why had she chosen that again?

Fourth; Dear lord! When had he sneaked THAT into the pile?!

The last one was by far the most acceptable, and also something he'd picked out. She didn't understand the saying, nor the face... and got the odd, paranoid impression that it had something to do with relationships...

...wait, had she just been dumped or something?!... No.. no that couldn't be. Maybe it was like those shirts with the arrows and the "I'm with stupid" sayings.

... Wait, did that mean Saph thought ill of her in some manner? "It is...lovely." She mumbled, managing not to look as distressed on the outside as she was on the inside. She felt like asking him what it meant, to calm the flood of panicked thoughts... but also didn't want to seem like an idiot.

...or maybe he'd buy one of those shirts next, too.

"You should get more like that." She needed a topic change, something... something different. He needed to get his hair cut, it was wild. That was the perfect distraction.

"We should find someplace to get you cleaned up. You look like a wild man." Grinning, she snagged his clothing choices as well, and piled them into the cart.

Hmmm... Something was wrong. She kept a straight enough face, but she kinda mumbled a little bit. He looked down at the shirt for a second, and then back at her...

Three... Two...One... aaaaaaand sinking feeling. "Oh, no! It's nothing like that... It's a joke. Um... From a website. There's these stick figures, and one of them is always all sad and alone. Heh. He's called forever alone." It wasn't exactly an accurate depiction, but it was the best he could think up on the spot.

He quickly walked on over to her, and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, turning to wake a few steps before he realized that he was wearing clothes that weren't his.

A short change and a purchase later, they were walking toward the nearest haircut place; he could get the rest of his clothes later, and there were plenty of other shops to go to! For now, she seemed to like the idea of him getting cleaned up.

"A wild man, huh? I dunno... I thought it lent a more manly air to me. No? How about we go to that place right..." Flex, flex, point while flexing, being sure to hold muscle near girlfriend's face. "over there?" It was a Omega-cuts. A small, crappy haircut chain. Right next to it was a nice salon.

He explained the shirt... but the explanation didn't appease her. "How can you be alone... if you are not?" She was confused all over again, until he put an arm around her and turned to lead them to the register. Whatever the case, they were done shopping for now. Andrea was more than willing to drop her misunderstanding and move on.

... It helped that he was holding her close, too.

"A wild man, huh? I dunno... I thought it lent a more manly air to me. No? How about we go to that place right..."

"... I cannot see anything, your arm is in the way." Standing on tip-toe, while hefting her bag along behind her, she spotted the place he meant. She also spotted the place next to him, which looked far cleaner and more professional, and slid a sidelong glance his way.

....then promptly dragged him toward the fancier place, where they were greeted by a woman behind a counter, with multicolored vibrant hair. "Here for an appointment?" She questioned, barely bothering to look up from the crossword she was plucking away at.

"No, not yet.. We would like to set one up, however."

The woman glanced up, caught sight of Andrea and all of her snake-hair glory, and blinked. "We... aren't equipped to handle...erm... that type of hair."

Holding back a sigh, Andrea pointed at her companion. "For him, actually." The lady's gaze slipped to Saph, eyed him from top to bottom quickly, before she grinned. A few moments later, they were waiting for the next available seat, while the woman who'd penned the appointment in cast bedroom eyes in Saph's direction every now and then.

Aww, man... No blush? Maybe he would have to take his shirt off again. Quick! Find an excuse! Nope, they were already headed toward the hair cut place... But... what was this? They were diverting toward the high-class place next door? But! But! The other place had sports magazines you could read while they cut your hair! How was that not the better option?

He squeezed her hand a little as the woman behind the counter addressed her hair... He had the odd urge to punch her. He didn't. That would be bad. But seriously... where did she get off? Huh?

Apparently on him. That was apparently when he felt her undressing him with her eyes. "Ahem."

They went to their seat, and he looked at Andrea helplessly as he stirred nervously in his seat. "I dunno if I like this place, Baby... Kinda feel a bit underclassed for it, ya know?" He looked over to the girl at the counter, who promptly found another place to look.

Greaaaaat.

"Maybe we should go next door. I hear they serve buffalo wings while you wait!" Just saying it made him realize it wasn't gonna happen. Women never liked man things... Who made a man themed haircut place anyway? Prolly took quite the odd guy.

"...baby..."

She didn't hear the rest of what he said. She was too busy marveling over this new nickname. Baby...? She wasn't sure if she liked that. She'd heard a lot of guys call girls that before, and it usually ended with slapping, or drinks being poured into laps.

But, looking over at him, she noticed that he looked uncomfortable. Why, she didn't know. Maybe it was the girly design of the place... Saph always seemed into 'manly' things.

She'd been about to open her mouth and try to calm him, when the woman who'd signed them in wandered over.

"The gal who was going to take you is all tied up at the moment. I can handle you though, hon." She intentionally quirked an eyebrow, and crossed her arms in front of her waist, hoping he'd catch a glimpse of bosom.

Andrea blinked, didn't notice the fact that she was clearly coming onto her boyfriend, but did notice the increase tension in the air... perhaps it was best to move, like he'd asked.

"Actually, I just remembered. We have another appointment to keep... really must be going..."

Grabbing Saph's hand, she hauled him out while slinging apologies over her shoulder, and dragged him into the shop next door.

Not bothering to try and hide the switch at all.

Inside... it was definitely better suited to Saph, even if Andrea was now the one feeling uncomfortable. She waited for him to make an appointment this time, while clinging to one of his arms selfconsciously.

What? Seriously? They didn't have to get a haircut at the poshy place where the lady cutting his hair was going to stare at him similarly to how a cowboy stared down a rack of ribs?

Hah! Awesome! He was sure the place next door would be better for both of them, anyways! Who wanted to spend a chunk of change on a stupid little haircut anyway? Walking into the other place, he stumbled a little as he saw the prices coming in, his head turning toward the sign as they walked past. It was even more expensive that the place next door!

He caught the scent of wings, though, and his stomach rumbled rudely. They seriously served wings to the people waiting here... Maybe that's why it was so expensive? Also, it probably explained why it was so crowded. He looked around at the crowd of men, sitting in seats, some eating wings, some reading magazines... Cool!

... But... Wait. One thing he didn't see was... Well, a single woman, present company excluded. Oh, right... He imagined this place's atmosphere prolly didn't pique the interest of the average girl. They arrived at the front counter, and a beefy looking man wearing sunglasses swiveled around in his hair. "How can I hel- Hellooooo." He tilted his head forward and scanned the green girl up and down, lingering just a little too long on certain areas.

Saphirus didn't miss a step in turning them around and steering them right out, leaving a confused man in shades behind to help the next person in line.

"So, eh... Maybe I can get a haircut later. You hungry?"

Before Saph had even bothered to ask about an appointment, and without even talking to the man behind the counter, he'd turned on his heel and marched the both of them back out into the mall. "Hey! Saphirus, what are you do-"

"So, eh... Maybe I can get a haircut later. You hungry?"

Her stomach growled. Of course she was hungry, when was she not hungry? "Yes, a little... but.. well, okay." What was that term people had used on her before? Oh, yeah... pushover. She really needed to learn how to stick to her guns on some things.

...also, she really needed to learn what the meaning of that expression was, since she didn't have any guns on her person to stick too.

Anyway, she'd just have to make sure he remembered later. Being an x-man meant always having to look your best. Being as scruffy as he was, she knew he could use some work. One brisk walk later, they had arrived at the food court. A few sit down places stood out to her immediately, as well as a hot-dog stand that captured her attention with a large, delicious looking picture of her favorite snack on display. Before she could drag Saph in that direction, she was led in another. A cozy little sit down place that smelled of noodles and sauces. Her stomach was more than willing to eat just about anything in most cases... but she managed to whine a little about missing out on chili-cheese dogs while they entered.

After being set down, the Greek dropped her bag in the seat and looked around for a menu, still grumbling about her lack of hotdoggy goodness. There... wasn't one. "...What kind of place is this?" She questioned, pinning a curious glance on her boyfriend.

Saph chuckled as she complained about them not stopping for chilli dogs. "Babe, how do you know you won't like this stuff even more? Y'gotta broaden your horizons!" He opened the door for her to walk in first, inviting her into the fairly large restaurant with a dim, and slightly soothing atmosphere, tempered by the sound of metal utensils smacking against a large grill.

"S'called a mongolian grill... You basically load up a bowl full of ingredients and sauce, and they cook it for ya. The best thing? You can bring as many bowls through as you want at once..." He winked at her... Knowing her appetite, this kinda place was perfect for her. "You pick your meats- two please!- and then your vegetables, and even fruits... then you finish with the sauce... You can make it as mild, sweet, spicy, or salty as you want. Basically, it's all up to you!" The waiter seated them as he explained the system to her, and then asked for what they wanted to drink.

"Water please!" He hadn't eaten at a place like this in a while, and he was eager to see if she would like it. Without missing a step, he stood, and waved her toward the food bar, planning in helping her through the process.

She listened to the explanation, her eyes darting around to take everything in as quickly as she could, but then she got stuck on something he said.

"... As many bowls as I want?" Blinking, she absently wondered if a place such as this had been made specifically for people like her. Was this heaven?... She sure hoped so.

Saph led her to the counter which, true to his word, was littered with many different pans, which were filled with tons of different things to choose from. She watched as he went about getting himself a few bowls, and then watched what he was putting in them, all the while attempting to keep herself from drooling all over the floor.

When she knew what to do, she eyed the stacks of black plastic bowls, and hesitantly reached out to grab one...

Minutes later, she set an arm-load of bowls down on the counter next to Saph's two, and flopped against the counter. Seven bowls, each filled to the brim with different things, nearly overtook the entire counter. The chef behind, who had been busy stirring and flipping someone else's order, stared at her like she'd set fire to something.

It had been nearly impossible to choose, what with all of the options present... so she'd decided to get a little bit of everything. Two bowls full of noodles, two bowls full of different kinds of meat, a bowl with a good helping of veggies, and two bowls filled with things she had never tired before, but wanted to. The Greek grinned sheepishly at the cook, then at Saph, and shifted on her feet. "What do I do, now...?"

~~

Unbeknownst to the two, someone had followed them to the restaurant. A certain hairstylist had spotted them leave the other salon, and was more than a little miffed at the green, serpent headed freak who'd dragged that gorgeous hunk of man away from her. Why was he even with someone like that?

She'd assume the girl was slow, or something, and that the man was following her around out of pity.

Still, it was a shame that he was wasted on a mutant like that. She'd decided to take it upon herself to free him from the monster's claws (because she probably totally also had claws), and then steal his heart all for herself. The devious, hateful woman paused outside of the restaurant, studying her reflection in a window. Her hair was perfect, as always, her makeup was flawless... she had a figure to die for, but... it seemed like something was still missing. Hmm. After a moment of gazing at herself, she spotted what was wrong.

A second later, after yanking off the top button on her blouse to allow a little more cleavage to peek through, she waltzed into the eatery.

"We watch them while they cook. See that bowl over there?" He handed her a dollar. "Give em a tip!" He paused as he looked at the man who was taking their bowls... Only one cook? Well... He did have eight arms, so perhaps that helped. A gruff looking octopus man gave them a wave as he poured out the bowls onto the grill, careful to use several rather large metal spatulas to divide up the meals, and putting Andrea's in a big pile in the middle.

"You know, most people who order this much are ten feet tall and just about as wide!" The cook chuckled as he tossed the food about, tossing the sauce on top.

Saph's food was ready first, but he stuck around while hers cooked, watching her reaction to the place... It was pretty fantastic... He remembered the first time he'd come to a place like this, way back when.

It wasn't long before they were back at their seats, and he was trying to teach her how to use chop sticks. "No no no... You hold the first one in your hand like this... see? Okay, and then you take the other one, and you hold it like... this, see? Alright, and you- wait... okay, let's try this again." He laughed as she messed up again, and then turned as someone approached the table "Hey, waitress, can you get her a pair of trainer chopsticks?"

Little did he know, it wasn't a waitress at all...

Not. Even. Close.