Agnes…was going to throw up. She could feel it. Strolling down the sidewalk, her arms feeling like they would fall off, her legs feeling like noodles, her head absolutely swimming, Agnes was sure that at this very moment she was going to die. She was dressed in a simply, deep purple, turtle neck sweater, jeans, and sneakers. Not really the attire of someone applying to a prestigious school but, with some arguing, Agnes convinced Gina and Rebecca that if she was going to the audition, she was going to go dressed comfortably. But, even in the comfort of semi-casual clothing, she still felt terrified. And it was all the fault of that stupid application that she had sent to Julliard. She had never really thought that she would get in for the audition. It seemed so completely out there because who was she to these people? They didn’t know a single thing about her or her schooling so why would she even be given a chance? It was ridiculous.

But she had gotten the response letter. They wanted to give her the audition. Agnes felt like she was going to die at that moment. She had not even entertained the possibility that they would want to give her a shot! And now here she was, heading to Julliard in order to perform in front of them, to prove her worth to actually go to this prestigious school!

Agnes was sure that she was going to pass out. And she knew damn sure that this was a journey that she never would have been able to take by herself. So, as much as she wanted to do things on her own, she needed her partner with this. The only girl who had gone through hell and back with her, in order to support her on this endeavor…

With a sigh she adjusted her fingers holding her violin case as she glanced off to the side. Walking down the sidewalk with her, of course, was her girlfriend Rebecca Grey. She gave her a nervous smile before she turned back to looking at the oh-so-interesting concrete she walked on. Rebecca had taken the bus ride with her, all the way to busstop nearest Julliard and now the pair of them were walking together.

Agnes heart felt like a jackhammer in her chest. With every step she was beginning to more and more feel like this was something that she simply could not accomplish. All she could imagine were the number of missteps, musical notes she could forget, slips of her fingers or bow, or simply just passing out from the sheer pressure of this whole ordeal.

But, in silence, Agnes trudged onward. It was too late to turn back now. They were already nearing the building. On top of that, she couldn’t disappoint Rebecca by turning into a coward now.

Though deep, in the pit of her stomach, she could feel those nerves growing and latching onto her insides. She did not know if she would be okay…

Rebecca could feel Agnes's nervousness emanating from the poor girl. Rebecca rubbed her girlfriend's back, trying futilely to calm Agnes down, or at least keep her well, Rebecca thought, eyeing Agnes for any peckish green in her face.

Although Rebecca would never add to her girlfriend's worries, she had to admit that she understood them. Rebecca already applied to Columbia University and her interview was nerve-wracking enough, but at least the Scot did not have to perform on the spot in her interview. Agnes would have to display her talents in front of the pretentious musical minds of Juliard.

Looking her girlfriend up and down, Agnes was beautiful as always, but her clothing choice felt so... casual to Rebecca. When it came down to it, though, it was Agnes's choice and she wanted to feel comfortable to some degree. Rebecca had no interview, so she was a little more casual, in jeans and a light blue and white argyle sweater.

Rebecca was already impressed by Agnes; in her position, Rebecca would have most likely fainted two blocks earlier. The silence was discouraging, so she opened her mouth for a stupid question, but at least it was sound. "Sae, hoo are ye feeling?"

Agnes could still feel her heart fluttering madly inside of her chest. She needed to herself under control or she was going to inadvertently release her swarm. The last thing that she needed, or wanted, was to make an embarrassing scene like that out in the streets of New York, or worse, in front the Julliard panel. Her insects would not be able to decipher friend from foe, only knowing that their queen was stressed out (which translated to ‘in danger’), they would attack anything perceived as a threat. To prevent this, Agnes needed to control her breathing and calm her heart.

She was fine. She. Was. Fine!

Another shaky breath and Agnes continued to walk in, trying to take her mind off of what she was about to put herself through. She was both irritated and happy that she was going through this. She was mad because she really doubted that she was going to accomplish being successful enough in order to get admitted. But she was happy, and a little intrigued, at this huge opportunity.

In reality, Agnes had never played for anyone of importance such as a teacher or anything. She only played for the people she cared about and loved or in those private moments where she needed to release her pent up emotions. But she had never played in order to be graded before. This was going to be something entirely new for her and the young runaway simply didn’t know what to expect.

She hoped that, if she did get in, they would not stamp out her joy of the violin. But what was the point in thinking such thoughts? They were not going to let her in away! Some street rat mutant that was abused by her parents and could summon a swarm of insects in plague-like proportions? It would be rather ridiculous of them.

And yet she still trudged on. Feeling Rebecca’s hand on the small of her back helped a little but her it was taking all her concentration to keep her not only herself from fainting, but to keep her swarm at bay.

>> "Sae, hoo are ye feeling?"[/color]

Agnes gave her another nervous smile as she lowered her gaze to the concrete below her feet. There was really no point in sugar-coating it.

“Like I’m out of my goddamn mind,” she muttered, a tiny tear stinging the corner of her eyes. It was then that the floodgates opened and Agnes just paused in her walking, shaking her head. “I…I don’t even know why I’m going to this. I mean, I should have just stuck some community college or something! Julliard! THE[/b] Julliard?! What…I…mean…gah! Babe...w-what am I doing here?”[/color] she pleaded with eyes that were mixed with fear, nervousness, and confusion.

She paused as he placed her hand on her hip, the violin case feeling all the heavier in her white knuckled hand. While she ranted, an audible buzzing could be heard emanating from her chest and drowning out the sounds around her. Though Agnes was vaguely aware of it, she was still concerned with the beehive buzzing around of her own thoughts to take notice of the same sound in her chest. Already, from a nearby gutter and alley, roaches and flies began to creep closer to her.

On top of all that, Agnes paid little attention to the fact that down the street, Julliard loomed…

>> “Like I’m out of my goddamn mind. I…I don’t even know why I’m going to this. I mean, I should have just stuck some community college or something! Julliard! THE Julliard?! What…I…mean…gah! Babe...w-what am I doing here?”

Rebecca was pleased with Agnes's ability to be honest with her, and it would seem that honestly, Agnes was in panic mode. Hearing her girlfriend doubt herself was almost as upsetting as hearing the buzzing in Agnes's chest increase in volume. Hoping to bring some peace to the warring body she loved--

Woah. There was that word again. Okay, moving on for the moment.

To bring peace to Agnes's body and mind, Rebecca rested her hand on Agnes's chest, over her heart. "Yoo're here coz yoo're an amazing violinist. Th' worst tha' can happen es they say no, sae ye hae nothing tae lose."

She met the crystal blue's wide with anxiety. "An' they arenae gorna say nae. Ah hae faith in ye." She planted a kiss on Agnes's cheek. "Sae calm tha' buzzin' time bomb in yer chest, kay?"

Agnes would find a peaceful place and she would show those Juliard people what she could do, Rebecca was sure of it. Agnes really amazed her with everything she did. The girl was sweet, she was strong, and she was so talented. Rebecca remembered what Lexi told her: that this girl she was so amazed by loved Rebecca. Could that be true?

What Rebecca finally realized was that, however Agnes felt, Rebecca loved her. She would catch herself thinking the word "love" when she thought about Agnes. The one thing she was scared by was putting that word into action. Was this the time to take a chance and admit her feelings? The girl contemplated the big decision as the school came into sight.

Agnes was in full blown crisis mode! She was panicking at what was surely going to be one of the toughest things in her life. Sure she was a mutant with a disgusting ability, and of course she had nearly died at the hands of her parents that tried to exorcize her, but this was going to be for school! For her future! Though she knew, in the back of her mind, that there were options ready for her if she didn’t get in, deep down, in her heart of hearts, she really wanted this. Though Agnes would never admit it, she really did want to, one day, maybe, be a concert violinist.

But who knew if she would ever get that chance. Julliard was her best bet but it was still a terrifying thing to stand on the threshold of one’s dreams. There were a plethora of possibilities in which she could fail, and try as she might to not think of them, she simply couldn’t stay away from it.

Her palms were sweaty, her heart was racing, she felt herself world tilting and lurching as her chest felt close to erupting into a deafening cacophony. But it was the tender sweet sounds of a young woman’s voice that slowly calmed her enough. Blue eyes lowering, she looked into Rebecca’s eyes and found sympathy and tenderness waiting for her there…

>> "Yoo're here coz yoo're an amazing violinist. Th' worst tha' can happen es they say no, sae ye hae nothing tae lose." [/color]

And with that, Agnes took a calming breath. That…actually started to make her feel just a tad better. She took a quick, calming breath as she locked eyes with her girlfriend…

>> "An' they arenae gorna say nae. Ah hae faith in ye…Sae calm tha' buzzin' time bomb in yer chest, kay?"[/color]

Agnes soon found herself smiling without really meaning to. Just listening to Rebecca’s sweet voice calmed her enough to let the girl’s words sink in. Though she was not one hundred percent confident in her own skills as Rebecca was, she was still thankful for the sentiment. She sighed, closed her eyes, and pressed her cheek against Rebecca’s cool hand. It felt so nice to have her touch right now. She was glad that she had come with her.

“Okay.”

Honestly, Agnes really didn’t know who else would be more perfect to stand by her side right now. Gina was awesome and Sveta was an absolute dream for a friend, but Rebecca, she touched her heart in a way that Agnes could scarcely explain. Just looking at her mismatched colored eyes, seeing her lips stretch into that understanding smile, and feeling her skin pressed against her own, Agnes felt like the absolute luckiest girl in the world to be in love with something like Rebe—

Wait…did she really just think the word “Love” again? Agnes paused. This had been an issue for the past few…well…a while. Ever since her meeting with Rebecca at the comic shop, she had been struggling with this idea that…could she really be in love with Rebecca? She was definitely attracted to her, and she loved to be around her, but…was that love? Agnes was so terrified that she didn’t really know what love was that she feared thinking it. What if she was wrong? And, worst of all, what if she really did love Rebecca, but the feelings weren’t mutual.

It was then Agnes guessed that that was a just a chance she was going to have to take. Mentally…she said it…she loved Rebecca. And the second she thought it, her heart calmed and her muscles loosened. It felt good to say it. It felt…right.

But still the words didn’t leave her lips. Instead, a still scared and nervous, but slightly less so, Agnes smiled as she leaned forward and kissed Rebecca gently between her eyebrows.

“Heh,” she sniffled as she wiped a nervous tear or two away. “You need to teach me how you do that. Calm me down so easily, that is.”

Rebecca accomplished the calming of the swarm, and the buzzing dissipated until there were no sounds between her and Agnes. Ideally, the insects would take the day off from making noise, because Rebecca was sure it was difficult enough to explain away wings to the school board.

Much to Rebecca's pleasure, Agnes's lips kissed her brow. The gesture was comfort and she could feel the tender warmth. Even the sweet action played into her curiosity, however; was that tenderness love?

>> “Heh. You need to teach me how you do that. Calm me down so easily, that is.”

Rebecca pulled herself in closer to rest her head on Agnes's shoulder. "Ah jist dae what Ah can tae make ye happy." Her fingers found the cuff of Agnes's sleeve and clung lightly. "Ah'd dae anything fer th' lassie Ah--"

Rebecca's eyes widened before she could finish her sentence, instantly changing the subject. "--oh my, Julliard es impressive, huh?"

The building was impressive, as she was sure the school was, but that just the first comment she could come up with that did not use the word "love." This was new to her; she loved her parents, and she loved her friends, but she never loved someone like she loved Agnes.

And she loved Agnes.

Oh my, she definitely loved Agnes.

The realization hit Rebecca and her cheeks pinkened knowing her head was resting against the familiar shoulder of the girl she loved. Was it too early to say it, though? What if Agnes was still not sure about how she felt? It would be awkward to admit love and realize it was not returned.

Then again, what if Agnes did love her and was waiting for Rebecca? What if she was making her girlfriend wait and develop doubts about Rebecca's true feelings? The thought was awful, since she did love Agnes, and she might be causing her pain just by keeping it to herself.

Oh, what troublesome options. At least straight couples could always fall back on the reliable, if not archaic social standard that the guy drops the L-bomb first. Sadly, there was no etiquette between the fairer sex. What to do?

>> "Ah jist dae what Ah can tae make ye happy… Ah'd dae anything fer th' lassie Ah--"[/color]

Agnes had smiled the whole time that Rebecca was talking. She felt so comfortable having the young redhead pressed against her, her head resting gently on her should and the feeling of having her arms wrapped around her. She loved it. She loved her. Agnes knew that, well, at least part of her knew that. It was easy to say it in one’s head but vocalizing it, putting out there into the ether of the universe was far more difficult. Sometimes the voice waivers, the body fights back, the heart beats too fast to hear one’s own words…

…but right now all she felt was calm and serenity. Maybe…maybe it was okay to actually say it outloud? Maybe she really should just risk it all and actually tell Rebecca how she felt? No…that was crazy. Especially right now! Right when she was about to go in for her Julliard audition? It was madness! Besides, she did not want Rebecca to think that she was saying something like out because it was blurted out with nerves. It should be said sweetly, tenderly, and—

…what was Rebecca going to say? It was only a split second but it was enough to catch the runaway’s attention. Unfortunately there was not a lot to go on because quickly Rebecca had switched subjects…

>> "--oh my, Julliard es impressive, huh?"[/color]

Agnes would have thought on Rebecca’s sudden change of topic but glancing around behind her and she soon found herself stunned. Rebecca was right, that school, it certainly was very impressive…and terrifying at the same time. That old fear wanted to creep back in and seize her heart, but the young insect queen managed to hold it back a bit longer. They were here and she couldn’t afford to crack up now.

With a sigh, and thoughts of whatever slip of the tongue that Rebecca hastily avoided vanishing, Agnes did her best to steel herself up. Eyes closed, Agnes took a calming breath and tried her best to keep focused on the good things, such as Rebecca’s touch and that even if she failed, this would not be the end of the world. She could do this; deep down, somewhere in her psyche, she absolutely knew that she could do this.

Squeezing Rebecca’s hand she smiled sweetly, though still nervously at her. “Okay…I…I guess this is it…” she muttered. After a second though…she still had not stepped forward. Head hanging down she glanced to her girlfriend. “Um…C-Can you, you know, just give me a little shove towards the school?”

>> “Okay…I…I guess this is it… Um…C-Can you, you know, just give me a little shove towards the school?”

Rebecca could feel Agnes's grip tighten on her hand, but there was something holding her back. If Agnes went into her audition feeling like this, how could she pass? Rebecca needed to do her duty as a girlfriend. Agnes wanted a shove? She would give her quite a push onstage.

Rebecca took her girlfriend by the shoulders and gave her a kiss. She pulled back and smiled. "Agnes, ye are a brilliant violinist, an' et's not coz of yer skill on th' strings... ye play with heart, an' you hae th' purest heart."

Rebecca placed her hand on Agnes's chest, feeling the soft thump thump of a beating heart. "Yer heart... it sparkles. E'en after th' dark you went through, ye still shine. You were th' light that called out tae th' lost girl an' helped her see what she was.

"Th' first song you played fer me..." Rebecca closed her eyes and lit up remembering their first date. "Ah could hear yer heart in th' notes. It was probably that first night," she took a deep breath, the next words leaving her lips like a soft breeze, "when Ah started loving ye."

Rebecca's body shivered, as though her skin could feel itself passing through into a new world. Rebecca kissed her girlfriend one more time. "There's yer push; gae show those professors that heart Ah love sae much."

Agnes was nervous. Well, that was a bit of an understatement, she was completely and ******* bricks! She really was considering just grabbing Rebecca’s hand and bolting from the large, music school and running all the way back to the mansion without looking back. It was certainly looking like the best option so far simply because Agnes was too scared about what would happen if she had failed in this whole endeavor. She didn’t want to let Rebecca or any of her friends now, but mostly, she didn’t want to let herself down.

But what would let herself down more…trying and failing? Or running away without ever knowing for sure?

Her mind was in turmoil as she stood there, willing herself to either step forward or to run away. That was the worst part of all this because she simply could not make a decision. She could learn to live with either option if she could just do one of them but she really was at a standstill. Then she felt Rebecca move. The young redhead gripped her shoulders and leaned in, giving her a kiss upon her lips.

Agnes kissed back and sighed a little as she felt the real tenderness that was there. It made her heart soar a little to know that Rebecca really did care so much.

>> "Agnes, ye are a brilliant violinist, an' et's not coz of yer skill on th' strings... ye play with heart, an' you hae th' purest heart…Yer heart... it sparkles. E'en after th' dark you went through, ye still shine. You were th' light that called out tae th' lost girl an' helped her see what she was.”[/color]

She could feel her blue eyes welling up with tears. She really was not used to praise but this was even bigger than praise, it was real adoration. Agnes sincerely cared deeply for Rebecca and it was displays like this that made her blush quite fiercely. Pale cheeks flushed a deep red as she tried to keep her embarrassment under control but it was quickly proving to be a lost endeavor.

>> "Th' first song you played fer me...Ah could hear yer heart in th' notes. It was probably that first night… when Ah started loving ye."[/color]

Agnes blinked.

…

And then she blinked again.

Did she really just hear what she thought she did?

>> "There's yer push; gae show those professors that heart Ah love sae much."[/color]

The smallest twinges of a smile began to uplift the corners of her lips. Rebecca had actually told her that she loved her? It was at that moment that every bit of tension that had wracked throughout her body began to melt away. Suddenly she was feeling freer, more uplifted, her body was loose and wiggly and it took every effort she had to keep from collapsing into a heap on the ground. It was like receiving the greatest gift that her heart had ever wanted, yet she didn’t know how to express it.

Should fireworks spark out of her heart? Should she leap for joy and bound around in circles? Should she faint? Agnes was at a loss for what to do. And then Rebecca leaned up to kiss her again and Agnes softly wrapped her free arm around Rebecca’s waist and kissed her back just as deeply. When their lips finally parted, Agnes pressed her forehead against Rebecca’s and tried to find her voice.

Eyes closed, comforted by the blackness tinged with red, the young runaway took a shuttering breath before she whispered, as dotted tears began to dot her cheeks.

“I…I…I love you, too,” she finally managed to shake out with a nervous laugh. “I’ve…been trying to say it for so long. But…you beat me too it…”

People often say getting the words off your chest was like removing a weight that was pressing down on you. That did not do it justice. Saying "I love you" did not just remove a weight-- it left Rebecca weightless. Not even the experience of levitating measured up to the feeling of flying she had. Suddenly, she could not remember why she waited so long to share something she knew was clearly true.

Their kiss ended and Agnes's forehead pressed against her own.

>> “I…I…I love you, too. I’ve…been trying to say it for so long. But…you beat me too it…”

Rebecca grinned, unable to stop a giggle. "E'en if ye didnae say it, Ah think Ah already knew, deep down." Agnes always treated her with a sweetness and a passion that Rebecca now clearly recognized as love. How she tricked herself into worrying otherwise was a mystery to her now.

It was all Rebecca could do to keep herself from just standing there with a goofy smile in Agnes's arms, but there were more pressing matters. She pried her girlfriend's hand off of her waist and held it, kissing the soft skin of the back of her hand. "Now go! Ye hae an audience to wow in there."

She released the hand and rubbed the back of her neck, still in a dreamy haze over what just happened. She entered reality just long enough to find the nearest bench. "Ah'll be here waitin' tae celebrate when yoo're done. So go... be amazing."

>> "E'en if ye didnae say it, Ah think Ah already knew, deep down.[/color]

“I guess…heh…I guess I always knew too…” she whispered.

The grin on Agnes’ face was of such a magnitude that she really didn’t think it was possible for her to produce a smile like this. It was like literally hearing the best news ever in her life. And considering the type of life that Agnes had, that said a lot. To really allow herself to feel this happy, this energetic, to have her guard down this much, it was nearly impossible for Agnes to have ever felt like this before. At least not in a very long time; not that any moment that she could particularly remember.

Maybe that really was what love was all about. Was finding those moments with a special someone that truly made you feel as if no other moment in your life could possibly live up to it. It made the most sense because Agnes felt her happiest when she was around Rebecca and that was what love was all about, wasn’t it? Finding someone that made you forget the world.

Agnes was on such a cloud of joy that she feared she would actually drift away if she didn’t keep her hold onto Rebecca. Her heart sang, the world seemed brighter, and suddenly she didn’t feel as afraid about what she was going to go through right now. She had the best thing waiting for her after she was done; whether she succeeded or failed, Rebecca Grey would be waiting for her, a woman that she loved with all her heart.

The leaned away from each other, reluctantly, but the time had come. Agnes felt a small pang of anxiety, but one look at the young redhead was all she needed to keep her wits about her. She smiled took a breath.

>> "Now go! Ye hae an audience to wow in there…Ah'll be here waitin' tae celebrate when yoo're done. So go... be amazing."[/color]

Agnes smirked as he leaned over and gave her another quick kiss.

“You better be waiting,” she said with a small wink.

Tears stung the corners of her eyes but they were not tears of sadness; they were those that only the happiest of moments could be able to conjure up. Quickly she wiped them away as she took one more calming breath, glanced at the school, and then back to Rebecca. Leaning over she kissed her cheek and wrapped her arms around her, hugging her tightly.

As she let go, she sighed and nodded. Turning on her heel she marched to the school…it was time to get this over with…