The second attempt seemed to go better. Verdigris had started to get there but then focused on the nothing rather than just letting it happen. “Good,” Hunter praised with a smile, “And you are quite right. You can’t focus on the nothing as the mere act of doing so will put something there. Instead you just keep going, reciting fact after fact in your head and linking it all together. Marvellous as the mind is it has its limits and seeing the endless links between everything in the universe is one of them.”

“You can practise this technique in your spare time and soon it will start taking less time for your mind to begin to empty,” he assured her. “Let’s take a break. You’ve got a lot of information to process. Would you like some tea?” he asked as he rose, motioning for her to remain seated. While he went and prepared some tea she would have a chance to think things over in the comforting silence of the meditation room.

“Tea would be lovely, thankyou.”

She stretched out her legs and re-crossed them under her as he made his way out of the room. The fact still remained that she had to make a choice, and leaving it until the next time she saw her boss was not only cowardly, it was foolish, encouraging her to make the decision on the spur of the moment, and perhaps regret it later.

Her fingers linked and unlinked, she played with the space of her missing fingernail, but still the answer didn’t come to her. It would be braver, to be sure, to admit the feelings, and then she would be all out, cards on the table, and a whole number of other metaphors that made as little sense. If she did tell him, or make it known to him in whatever way, then she would be able to work with no feelings of mistrust, or that she was lying. Was the risk of rejection worth it?

Tea would help her to decide. She didn’t believe in the power of tealeaves predicting the future. She did, however, believe that a nice hot cup of tea could calm the mind and help make clear decisions. Also kill colds, but that wasn’t the current dilemma.

Hunter nodded and headed up stairs. He still had the ingredients to make Tibetan butter tea. The batch that he’d made earlier today was gone so he set about making another. Once up stairs he put brick tea on to boil and then went to get a slim wooden cylinder with a piston in it. Adding the yak butter and salt followed by the tea once it was boiled he churned for a minute or two before pouring it into a large kettle. It had taken him quite a while to arrange a regular delivery of brick tea and yak butter. He’d tried making it with other teas and normal butter but it wasn’t the same.

Butter tea was a staple drink in Tibet that up in the mountains would keep one warm, alley hunger, aid digestion, promote a healthy cardiovascular system, cleanse the body of lactic acid, rejuvenate inner strength and increase stamina. While it would taste different to regular tea it was a wonderful drink. For Hunter it also had another use. It was a liquid meal, a drink that would provided sustenance for you. Like you will often find smokers who have quite chewing toothpicks to simulate a cigarette the butter tea acted as a substitute for blood in a similar way. It made coping with the cravings a little easier. Grabbing the traditional small drinking bowls he headed back downstairs.

“This is Tibetan butter tea,” he said as he poured her a bowl, “tradition dictates that you cannot refuse it.” He smiled and slid the bowl towards Verdigris. Tradition also dictated that you had to drink at least three bowls before leaving, drink it slowly and tell the host how wonderful it was and leave a little in the bowl when you left. He wouldn’t press those parts of tradition. They weren’t in Tibet and she wasn’t preparing for a day’s work in the Himalayas. He poured himself a bowl and set the kettle on a stand over some candles to keep it warm before taking a seat in front of Verdigris again. Taking a sip Hunter watched her to see if she liked it.

After a loop of decisions swirling in her mind and no conclusions forming she decided to think on it more later, mainly when she had access to a pen and some paper to scribble out her options and the consequences of each. Trying to outline those sort of things in her head was a daunting task. Closing her eyes she wriggled until she was in the same position Hunter had been in when she arrived.

Breathe in. Hold. And out. Repeat.

She had slowed her nerves to a quiet buzz and her heart beat steady and calm- not jumping around in a fit of fear as it had been while she was contemplating telling Slate- when Hunter returned. The door opening, while quiet, was not silent and she opened her eyes to meet those of the silver-eyed man offering her a small bowl.

“Well, if its tradition.”

She smiled and accepted the tea into her little cup-bowl. It didn’t smell quite like the normal black tea-bag tea constantly available in the mansion kitchen, but it wasn’t a bad smell, just different. She looked at it, the milkless clear liquid swirling mystically, almost like smoke. After a quick glance at Hunter to ensure tradition didn’t dictate that she do anything else but accept it she raised it to her lips and took a small sip.

Hot, but not scalding. Salty, but not unpleasant. Tea, but not tea.

“It’s interesting, nice… I think I like it. Thankyou.”

Nothing like what she had tasted before, but after a few years scrounging scraps from dumpsters, or trying to stretch what few small coins people appeasing their conscious deigned to give her on the days hunger forced her to beg, to get something that had some form of nutrition tastes were formed quickly. This tea had the kick of something that would keep you going for a few hours at least, and she took another sip. How useful this could have been on cold days on the street. Although, if it was from Tibet, it was probably very expensive.

“Tradition was right, it would be silly to reject this.”

Rejection. What a word loaded with meanings, all of which she wished to avoid.

Hunter smiled approvingly at Verdigris as she sampled the butter tea. It was an acquired taste but one that he was now quite partial to. Taking a few sips from his own bowl he eventually set it down. “So,” he asked, “Have you thought more about your decision?”

He would be surprised if she had. This wasn’t like deciding what to have for breakfast. Her decision would have serious ramifications throughout almost all aspects of her life. As he had said it wasn’t something to be decided at the drop of a hat. This was something she would need to thoroughly think through. He would be here to help he as best he could but ultimately it would come down to her choice and her decision.

Ah yes, the decision. In her contemplation of just what made up the unique flavour she was sampling she had almost forgotten that she had a decision to make. Yeah. Right. Her heart made a few whump-thumps that were abnormal and the tea did a strange dance somewhere in her stomach. Taking her next sip slowly she closed her eyes and thought about it, what she had been avoiding so skilfully. She let the bowl rest in her hands which she placed in her lap.

“I have thought about it, but not really decided. I think that I would have to sketch out all the possible consequences of both.”

She hesitated and took another sip of the tea, she was right, its warmth had cleared her head to a degree, allowing her to see what it was that she truly wanted. It wasn’t just a protective, providing, paternal figure, as she had feared it might be. While she missed James and her old life with a dull ache, she could never replace them, and trying was futile. Friends were friends, but at newly twenty, it was reasonable that she wanted someone to be more than that.

“I think I have realised what it is that I want, and why too I guess, but I haven’t decided what I’m going to do about it.”

After all, what twenty-year old could possibly want someone with a grand total of three years worldly experience? She was fairly certain that, although cute, she wasn’t pining after having children of her own. Not for a good long time, five, ten years at least, if ever.

“Then you have already made a big step,” he told Verdigris with a smile, “You now know what you want. That should help with the dreams. Now that you know what you want your subconscious should stop trying to tell you.”

“Whatever you decide, and whatever the consequences of that decision are, I will always be here,” Hunter assured her, “As someone to offer advice or just to talk to.” Or to be a shoulder to cry on should it come to that. He hoped for the best and that Verdigris would get to have what she wanted but he knew that life didn’t always give you what you wanted.

If she stopped dreaming, perhaps she would get a good nights sleep and be able to make an informed decision, looking at all the possibilities and weighing up consequence and possible gain. Both of which Hunter would support her in. She could feel her insides crunching up in what, in some situations, would have resulted in spontaneous hugs. She was holding a bowl of tea, however, and attempting to be something along the lines of dignified.

“Thankyou, that really means a lot to me.”

She grinned into her tea-bowl, as subtly as she could, the awkward grin of a child when a parent declares unfailing love no matter what they have done. It was grin or burst into tears, and smiling always seemed the better of the two. Cleaner as well. Even if everything went to pot he would be there for her, it was a comforting thought, even in the face of possible rejection.

Hunter didn’t miss Verdgris’s smile nor could he help but smile back. Maybe she wasn’t use to having someone to be there for her. While at times it seemed like his quest for redemption was hopeless there were times when it felt like he was making a real difference for people. He had relearned the simple value of a smile.

Drinking up his bowl he poured himself another. “So what does this job of yours entail?” he asked. She’d had enough deep probing questions for one day. For now small talk over butter tea seemed more appropriate.

He smiled back, so she felt less than awkward. If he was smiling too that meant she hadn’t been too creepy in her tea-sipping grin. He wanted to know about her job. Either wanted to know, or wanted to talk about something other than the heavy subjects of the previous while.

“I’m a receptionist. At the moment I’m mainly organising files and papers, the little things. I’m still learning, but soon I should be able to answer the phones too.”

It sounded quite a small when she put it like that, but it really felt like more. The pay-check alone suggested that her role was more important than an alphabetically-sorting desk sitter. She was looking forward to answering the phone, having something to write in the ‘client’ notebook.

“Many of the world’s biggest firms would collapse without good receptionist,” Hunter replied, “Take Ellie for instance. She makes sure I don’t double book people and that I’m not off wandering and contemplating things when I should be here waiting for a client. Also for those who book over the phone they speak to her first and so she must convey what Spiritual Balance is all about. Without her I wouldn’t be able to help as many people as I could.”

In truth Ellie had been simply marvellous. She kept the administrative side of things running smoothly and almost unnoticeably. One of the downsides of being a good receptionist or secretary was that if you were doing your job right few would notice as everything appeared to run smoothly. Only when you did your job wrong would people notice. That was why some people would take their receptionist or secretary from granted. At Mondragon Labs he had. Here he didn’t.

Hunter didn’t seem to think that her job was small, or silly, in fact he seemed to appreciate how important it was even more than she did. Although, who knew how long he had been supported by a receptionist, it made sense that he would understand. She was still figuring things out, like the complicated route to the staff room from the reception desk.

The Labs, while clean and respectable, often reminded her of a rabbit warren, or a hallway from an episode of Scooby-doo, door after door, corridor after endless, unrecognisable corridor. Eventually she would figure out how many turns she had to make and be able to make them by herself, but until she did merely visiting the bathroom was a quest which could easily wind up with her asking every staff member she passed for directions.

“It is a good job, the staff are nice, the pay is good and so far I haven’t been asked to do anything I don’t understand or have the skills for.”

Sorting miscellaneous paperwork was hardly a difficult job, and since her glasses had been repaired she was progressing quite quickly and smoothly through each stack.

Hunter nodded. Sounded like Verdigris had managed to land herself a good gig. When you didn’t have a century or two of savings on several fortunes that you’ve accumulated and tucked away for a rainy day having a good income job was always something to try and aspire too, so long as it didn’t make you miserable.

“What about outside of work?” he asked, “Friends, family?” He didn’t ask for boyfriend, he already knew the answer. But it was nice just having a pleasant conversation with someone over tea and small talk was a skill Hunter had well refined.

“I have a good friend, my roommate, we get along really well, and I know some other people in the same hallway who I’m friends with.”

Did the general count as a friend? For all his ranting and kicking her out of the room she was fairly sure he was. Others who she had met and re-met counted probably more as acquaintances, than friends.

“My family are still living in Hawaii, and I haven’t really had much contact with them since I moved here three years ago.”

Moved, yes, onto the streets of NYC, without their knowledge or permission. She had left behind her best friend, James, when she fled. He was the person she had missed the most, over the years, but the less she thought about it, the less things reminded her of their friendship. Things could never again be what they were.

“And you? What do you do when you’re not supporting total strangers?”

Hunter nodded and sipped his tea as Verdigris told him a little of her social life. He knew there was almost certainly more that she wasn’t telling him but he wasn’t about to pry. She’d already opened up about the crush on her boss. He didn’t want or need to know all of her secrets.

“Truthfully I’ve only been back in New York for a little over a week,” he said, “And most of that time has been spent trying to get this place up and running. However that doesn’t mean I’m all work and no play. I like to play music, read and work on my chess game.” Now he’d found and opponent. Though Juka would need a lot more practise before Hunter would actually be improving his game.