Nightmares. Most people had them--some more than others.

Twyla Ashby was one of the lucky people who had frequent nightmares caused by (in her opinion) all of her stupid decisions in life. They were a penance, in a way, of doing something risky and taking others down with her. Since they were a penance they couldn't be complained about--not that she would have anyway, it would make her friends think her weaker than she already thought she did. SHe was a coward after all.

It was bad to be a coward. It was worse to be a crybaby coward.

So the girl was helping herself deal with the nightmares brought on by a recent trip to a certain scary house by medicating herself with copious amounts of dairy products. Tonight it was in the form of mint chocolate chip ice cream. The green treat in her bowl was delicious, but she couldn't help the rough movements of her wrist as it jabbed the spoon into the bottom of her bowl, making an obnoxious clanging sound on contact. She was angry, more angry than she'd been in a long time.

"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid." She muttered to the clock on the stove that read that it was some time after midnight. Much too late for anyone to be up and much too early to go back to bed. Or was it the other way around? The girl didn't really know at this point--nor did she care. All that mattered was that she was tired and every time she closed her eyes she realized she was alone in a hall of mirrors.

Being alone with the twins in her head was almost as bad as being a crybaby coward. Almost.

Nightmares were never a good experience for anyone.

Especially not after a person was forced to face thier greatest fears all in some terrible nightmarish fun house made by two messed up twins who enjoy torturing people for fun. For Emerald, it wasnt a great feeling to wake up in the middle of the night drenched in a cold sweat covering her athletic body. The young wolf girl's eyes darted downwards to her stomach and to her legs to see if there was any wounds in them, when she didn't see any she let out a breathy sigh, her tense body relaxing a little. Em dragged herself out of bed, pulling her denim jacket off of the floor and tieing it to her sweat pants clad waist. She wore a tanktop over it and really didn't pay any mind to the long ropey scars that littered her back. Figuring she wouldn't see anyone in the kitchen this late at night the wolf girl went down the hallway into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

The young woman looked like she hadn't been getting any sleep and the way the cool sweat clung to her body made her look even more exhausted. Once she made it into the kitchen, she was surprised that Twyla was there too, from what she assumed to be nightmares. Her keen hearing noted her muttering and she shook her head a little at the girl.

"You arent stupid you know, those twins were just assholes." The wolf girl told Twyla, making her way to get a glass of water. "You having Nighmtares too, huh?"

Twyla jumped when she heard the padded footsteps behind her and her head whipped around in time to see Emerald standing in the doorway. The blond didn't say anything at first, just shoved her loaded spoon into her mouth and watched as the wolf girl got herself a glass and went over to the sink. Not stupid, eh? Twyla highly doubted it. Stupid people made stupid choices.

Did she really have to spell it out for people?

Twyla didn't argue right away with the comment about stupidity. "Well, you look like you are." Emmy looked tired and like she'd been sweating. Twyla could relate to this look as it was what her nights resulted in, more often than not. It was really a terrible look for most women. Clank! The spoon hit the bottom of the bowl again. She really didn't want to admit to them, but if someone as bad@$$ as Emerald Lupin could...

"I've been having nightmares for a while." She took another cool bite. "This is the best remedy." Possibly not the healthiest remedy (some therapy or at least a general discussion would probably be the healthiest) but it kept the girl occupied enough so that she wasn't totally focused on the sleep she was missing or the cold giggle that echoed through her--

And mint chocolate chip ice cream was her favorite, that helped too.

Em had a weird feeling that Twyla didnt believe her but she didnt mention anything. She figured it would be best to tread a little lightly around that whole subject. Hell, she still thought she was still a monster in her eyes and her older sisters last visit didn't help matters too much. It was just something she would have to learn to get over after a while, though Gawain/Maya's pep talks helped a lot.

"Yeah, its pretty damn obvious isnt it?" Emerald sighed, an irritable tone creeping into her voice as if she was mad at herself. She ran her hand through her crimsion hair then taking a drink of the water, allowing the coolness to wash its way down her raw throat. Nightmares tended to do that to her, especially ones as violent as hers.

Now worried for her friend, she thought a little about the events at the house on apple street and what could make her have those nightmares. She wondered if it was maybe that Cthulu monster she kept hearing about from everyone. It seemed like a pretty good guess that it was the cause of Twyla's strife, considering it was a giant evil god thing. "That cthulu thing right? I heard about it from Ruby who tends to eavesdrop on people. Man, Im sorry I wasn't there to help you guys...I was out of the mansion when that call came in and sorta got into a bit of trouble on my own." What Emerald didn't say was that she was mascarading as a bad ass vigilante who nearly got herself cut in half by a messed up mutant.

Em ran her hand through her hair again, another sigh escaping her lips. "Ya know, I have been having nightmares for a while, sorta similar to what you saw during that illusion. You would think me being away from the labs for three years would make the nightmares stop, guess PTSD doesn't work that way." Emerald shrugged her shoulders a little, subconciussly rubbing the denim jacket wrapped around her waist.

Twyla didn't to heart Emerald's slightly abrupt tone--she probably wasn't mad at the blond with the ice cream if her thoughts were similar to Twyla's at all. Well, Twyla was mad at the blond girl with the ice cream but that didn't really matter at the moment. "You've just got that look about you..." Twyla was pretty sure that if she hadn't brushed her hair and washed her face before she came downstairs she'd look worse than the wolf girl.

The girl blinked. Once. Twice. Had she really just hit the nail on the head? "That--That's most of it..." Twyla murmured, not wanting to go into much more detail than that. "I shouldn't have been there--neither should've Henri and she wouldn't have gone if I hadn't convinced her it was what we needed to do." There was some bitterness in her tired tone and more than enough self loathing for the both of them in the kitchen.Twyla had never used this tone with someone at the mansion before and it probably sounded strange coming from a mouth that was usually giggling or smiling.

What kind of trouble was Emmy talking about? Eyebrows crinkled in the middle of her forehead and the girl frowned down at the melting green mass in her bowl. She wanted to ask...but at the same time there were things she didn't want to talk about as well. "Well, I hope that your trouble wasn't the nightmare giving kind." There, maybe Em would explain herself and maybe she wouldn't--no trouble for the unexpected conversation either way.

"Memory doesn't work like that either." It was news to the blond that her friend had PTSD--yet another thing to ask about that she was hesitant to voice. "I've been having mine since after Christmas..." The ice cream needed something so Twyla stood up and propped the fridge open, resting it on a jutting hip.

It was apparant to the wolf girl that she had just hit the nail on the head with Twyla, a fact she was a bit surprised about. She didn't think she was that good with people and finding out their problems but she was somehow with Twyla. As for the cthullu incident it was obvious Twyla was beating herself up about it, a road that wasn't a wise one to go on. Emerald had been there for a long time and it just lead to bitter self loathing, a feeling Em didn't like in the slightest.

"You shouldn't keep beating yourself up over that, Twyla, everyone makes mistakes," Emerald explained, her voice even and smooth. Her tail rest on her leg, making no movement whatsoever, which was odd because typically it was moving a mile a minute. Blue eyes looked down for a moment then back up at Twyla, feeling it would be best to tell her what exactly she was doing.

"Like me for instance, on the night you guys were off fighting Cthulu, I was at a local dinner trying to get leads on a string of dissaperances that had been happening at that time. I ended up questioning the wrong guy and he suddenly grew some mega claws and managed to slice open my stomach. It didnt scar or anything,the healer that was in the Dinner made sure of that, but I ended up loosing my only lead."In her voice crept a tone of self loathing that only a few people had heard. It was mainly guilt in that voice of hers that echoed above everything else. Similar to that of Twyla's but for diffrent reasons.

The wolf girl had a strong feeling that Twyla may be suffering from the same thing she was, though not nearly as jarring but still quite terrifying. It was something she had grown to live with over the years since her escape from the labs, but it didnt make things any easier. It still hurt just as bad to wake up in the middle of the night, thinking she was about to die, when it was really all just some horrible nightmare.

Emerald leaned against the counter more relaxing ever so slightly. The tenseness in her muscles were still there but they seemed to relax some after talking a little bit.

"It lessens after a while, the nightmares. May take a bit, though." Emerald paused for a moment. "Ruby still has her nightmares about the labs, and she looks far worse than either of us when she wakes up. She usually just wakes up crying and screaming." Emerald ran her hand through her hair absent mindedly. "I'm always the one that comforts her. Thing is, its far worse when you want to cry so bad and scream, but ya cant, 'cause if you do, you think youre gonna be weak." Emerald looked down at her feet as the angusih made its way into her voice. She hated being like this, but it was hard, sometimes, to live with such trauma and really having no one to tell it to until recently.

Twyla didn't argue with Emerald when she told her not to beat herself up about Christmas Eve--she'd learned it was easier not to argue. Maybe she'd feel differently later, but until the girl could prove that she had the ability to make decisions that weren't totally stupid she was probably going to dwell on all the dumb stuff she'd done that had put her friends in jeopardy.

Emerald proceeded to tell Twyla what she had been doing Christmas Eve. Disappearances? Lead? What? What kind of life was Emmy living when she wasn't at the Mansion? There was strong emotion in the other girl's voice as she spoke but it didn't register with the blond. She was still stuck on the fact that Emerald was apparently prowling the streets that night doing something that local authorities or the X-men should have been dealing with. Had she been working with the X-men? It seemed like the wolf girl was on a roll, so she'd wait to ask that little question for a better chance.

Twyla paused in her fridge digging when something was said about Em's little sister, Ruby. That's so sad. She bit her lip in worry and then frowned at the leftovers and healthy snacks and pushed them aside to search for her object of desire once more. The fox girl was just so...cute and innocent; it was not a good image, thinking about her crying. At the mention of weakness blond and pink hair whipped around at Twyla stuck her head out from behind the fridge door. "It is weak though, isn't it?" Brown eyes stared intently at the other girl who was looking down, waiting for her response.

Once Emerald heard Twyla mentioning weakness the wolf girl smacked herself on the forehead inwardly. It was different for everyone really and truly, before the mansion she had always believed herself weak when she showed any sign of sad emotion making her a stoic presence in the mansion. She hadn’t meant to push people away, unfortunately though this was what ended up happening.

“Crap I’m not that great with words sometimes,” Emerald stated sheepishly, trying to figure out a better way to word it. “Alright, you feel weak right? For showing your emotions the way you do? You expect yourself to be stronger than that, right?” Emerald paused for a moment before continuing. “But in truth, Twyla, the fact you can show your fear the way you do isn’t weakness at all, it’s a sign of strength. People like me, we wont show it because not only are we scared of what lies before us, but what people think of us.”

Emerald took time to allow that to set into her friends head, letting the whole thing process, it was a lot to take in. The fact that Twyla thought she was weak made her nearly laugh out loud, sure Twyla didn’t have super strength or know how to fight, but that wasn’t all strength was.

“You see, I do get scared believe it or not. Not often mind you but it does happen,” Emerald took a swig of her water. “Problem is my own personal fear is me failing at protecting the people I care about, members of my pack, like you and Gawain or Maya, depending on the day.” Em smirked a little at that before her facial expression turned into a more of a far away look, the haunted look that made its way on her face when she thought of things as they were all those years ago. “Thing is, I feel that if I show anyone when I’m not confident or when I'm scared they will use it against me, mainly because in the past I have been betrayed by so many people…my older sister included.” Emerald looked down for a moment, before dark blue eyes focused on Twyla. “But, lately at the mansion you guys have been proving me wrong. I'm starting to learn how to trust people and that letting someone know you are scared isn’t gonna mean they are gonna exploit it later on, and I have you as well as some of the other students to thank for that.” Emerald smiled a little at the blonde, leaning a bit more against the countertop. She hadn’t meant to get all sappy on the girl, it’s just it meant a lot to her that they were so kind to her, instead of being afraid.

Emerald sounded hesitant when she started answering her question. All fridge searching was forgotten--this was an interesting side of the wolf girl. Twyla quietly closed the fridge and walked to the counter near where Em was standing, leaning her back against it, arms crossed slightly in front of her in a motion that was more hug than defiant.

The girl nodded to all three of the wolf girl's question--she had about summed it up. I'm supposed to be better than that. Emerald's next words threw Twyla for a loop. Emmy thought that Twyla's panicking was a sign of strength? What? They were both silent for a long moment and the blond used that time to think things over. Her lip biting was a sign she was doing such. Maybe it's not all about being scared or not scared...it's about what you do with that fear? I haven't done much good in the fear department...but I could, right? Maybe?

She still hadn't come to a conclusion when Emerald began to speak again. Twyla went from inside her head to focusing on the other girl in an instant. It was interesting and more than a little jarring for Em to be candidly explaining her own issues with fear and nightmares. It was a good kind of jarring though, right? Twyla didn't have the wolf girl pegged as someone who did this often with people, so she made sure to listen carefully to what was being said to her. After a smirk her face went to a darker place and without thinking about it, the blond frowned like she had when Em had talked about Ruby.

That frown soon found itself replaced by a hesitantly, ghostly smile as Emerald told her how some people at the Mansion were helping her trust. The smile became a bit more fleshed out and then she was bridging the gap between them, intent on giving Emerald a hug. "That's good, Em. I'm so glad. That's so good." She squeezed her once, feeling the scars of her back in the process, and then stepped back with a more serious look on her face. Earlier she'd been given some food for thought and now it was finally done being prepared inside her mind. "I think that maybe being afraid of something is a good thing--you just have to have enough of it. Like, I have too much sometimes and you try to suppress yours...What if it's about balance? Acknowledging your fear enough so that it motivates you but not so much that it inhibits you or so little that you lose some of your human qualities..." She blinked slowly, like an owl, wondering if what she was saying was making any sense.

The hug was a bit unexpected, but it was returned by the very hesitant wolf girl. She seemed to be getting a lot of those lately, not that she minded of course. Somehow, they made her feel better. Subconsciously, however, she winced a little when she felt Twyla feel the scars. It was an old habit that was hard to break for her. Em figured that Twyla would never hurt her, but it was unfortunately something she had been having to live with for a while. It felt good, though, that feeling of love and belonging that she was finally getting from others. Maybe this new generation of X-men was a better hope for the future than the current one.

"Yeah that’s about right, Twyla, and believe me, I've been there, where I had so little fear, there was hardly a difference between me in my wolf form and me in my human form." Emerald paused for a moment, her tail starting to wag a little when her mood started to brighten from her thoughts. "So, I guess, if you think about it, we sorta balance each other out. Ya know...if you want, you can talk about your nightmare with me and I'll listen. Or, I could hug you if you start to feel upset or something?" Emerald grinned sheepishly, obviously new at the whole comforting thing. "Sides, you are pretty easy to talk to, so the least I could do is let you talk to me about stuff like your nightmares of the C’thulu monster...maybe I could help out by listening or staying in wolf form in your room if you want? Ruby says I'm a comforting person, despite the whole “big bad wolf” persona or the “renegade X-man” one I have earned from my colleagues."

Hmmm...balance. It was all about balance--with pretty much everything. On a daily basis Twyla had to balance her need to do homework with her need to hang out with people and have fun. Most people tried to balance their meals. You had to balance when you moved so you wouldn't fall over. Why hadn't it occurred to her before? Probably because Twyla hadn't had to think enough on the matter to verbalize her ideas to someone. Sometimes things occurred to you after you had a change in perspective.

Did she want to talk about it? Part of her did and part of her didn't. She hadn't talked about it with Maya after she woke up in a fit and if she couldn't tell someone that...loved her...she'd at least tell Em about the feelings, she'd told Maya about those. "I hate them because they make me feel helpless. That monster from the park made me feel helpless. I hate that feeling." The blond paused and her eyes distractedly glanced at the wolf girl's shoulders that were visible because of her tank top. "And don't go saying I'm not helpless, because I am and that's about all there is to it. I'm not going to be helpless forever though." Something shone through from the back of her brown eyes with these words, something hard and determined.

Emerald had said other things, but her little glance had popped a different thought into the blonde's mind. It wasn't very polite, nor was it very nice as a friend, but Twyla suddenly found herself blurting: "Em, where'd you get your scars?"

Hating the feeling of helplessness was something Emerald completely and utterly sympathized with. That was why she hated showing people when was scared, she felt helpless to do anything about it. It was also a fear of hers to be completely and utterly helpless as the world burned around her. There were only a few events when she felt that way, two of those cause some of the scars on her body. Not exactly good experiences for her to think about but the scars did live as a reminder of her mistakes and why she had to learn from them.

Once Twyla asked about the scars, the wolf girl's eyes couldnt help but widen a bit. Here Twyla thought she had no courage at all and she had just asked the wolf girl the most loaded question anyone could really ask her. No one had really dared to ask her about her scars before and the fact Twyla did made Emerald give the girl a small semblance of a smile.

"You are the first person that has ever really asked me that, you know that? And here you say you have no courage, " Emerald laughed dryly at the girl, shaking her head a little. She reached into the pocked of her deniem jacket that was tied loosely around her waist and tied the long crimsion hair back into a pony tail, giving a better view of the scars that marred her back, far more numerous now that one could see the upper part of her back

. "Some are from battles, stupid mistakes of mine and things like that. Most of them were from the punishments back at the labs you saw." Emerald paused for a moment, feeling her body tense up. "Thats why i was so scared back at that damn house, those labs, they did everything and anything they could to a mutant "In the name of science", they changed an 8 year old into a trained assasin within 7 years "In the name of god damn Science.", " Emerald smiled bitterly, her eyes filled with pain from her past coming up after a long time of hiding it.

Her body shook a little and fear filled those blue eyes of hers. An emotion unexpected from the normally strong wolf girl. "The guy, the one the male twin turned into....hes the only person that scares me. He made me feel helpless and weak for the first time in my entire life. Sick Son of a bitch tried to mate with me after he was done playing his sick torture games. Managed to get out before he could but he still scares the hell out of me." Emerald's voice was filled with a mixture between anger and pure fear. She pointed to the large bite mark scar on her right shoulder, making it look like Emerald was mauled by a dog that ripped a huge chunk of skin off of her shoulder. She also lifted up her shirt a bit, to show a large terrible scar on her toned belly, looking as if someone had torn open her stomach

"These are the two physical scars he left on me that the healer couldnt get to before the scared. The bite was a claiming mark to show that he was gonna come back and get me some day, which he already tried once, failing again and the stomach gouge was because he decided to carve me open with his claws and shove his hands inside my gut." Emerald put her shirt down with a shudder, holding herself in a sort of self hug. She looked at Twyla with a weak smile, "Good thing is, now I dont feel as alone as I used to, dealing with this sort of stuff, you and Gawain/Maya are easy to talk to and I'm proud to have you guys as part of of my pack. And now you are the only person who knows the story behind the scars."

Emerald leaned against the counter top breathing a bit heavily, feeling it was better she told someone this, now that they had seen the scars. Twyla was the only person who asked and Emerald felt she owed it to her to tell, considering she saw the hell that was the labs. But now...Ems mind wondered how the girl would react to the rather large bomb she dropped on her.

Emerald kinda smiled at her as Twyla's question caught up with her. Oh my god, that was tactful--'Hey, that looks like an intensely upsetting story, why don't you tell me about it!' Way to be Twyla, way to be. The blond waited with baited breath for the smile to fall and some kind of hammer to be dropped on her from above. She couldn't believe that she'd just asked something like that, no thinking at all...well, actually she could and she felt guilty already for asking it.

Twyla waited and instead of a hammer she got some dry laughter. First person to ask her that question? Was that a good thing? Apparently Emerald thought it made Twyla brave but the girl wasn't convinced. It made her stupid and tactless probably but courageous? Probably not.

The wolf girl pulled her hair back and the blond could see the scars crisscrossing her back. When Emerald started speaking Twyla pulled herself up from behind on to the counter and watched and listened intently to the other girl's story. Brown eyes noted the tenseness at the mention of the labs, she was getting better and better at reading people. Em smiled but her eyes held nothing but the pain of whatever she'd gone through in that place. Her first instinct was to hug the girl again, but Twyla decided it would be best to let her get out what she needed to--it was obviously hard for her. I am such a jerk.

The talk of the guy from the house made Twyla tense up--he sounded like a true monster. She didn't like Em talking about something so terrible, not one bit. It made her angry and sick to her stomach and hopeless all at the same time. The world was such a scary place. Emerald scared was terrifying in itself, her body language almost freaked out the blond more than her words did.

She was the only person who knew the full story? Twyla would guard that information, lock it inside her--there was a lot of trust in the kitchen.

When Em was done talking the other girl hopped off the counter and hugged her for the second time that night. "Exactly, Em, you're not alone--it's better when you're not alone." The smaller girl squeezed with all her might and then went on. "And you were worried about being a monster." Another squeeze and then Twyla had stepped back, just looking at Emerald with a mixture of worry and comfort fighting across her features.

Once again, Emerald was hugged and once again she oddly felt a little bit better, feeling loved. Ruby had been right about this new group of kids that had been coming in, they really did make her feel like she was part of some big old family. She wasnt alone anymore, Gawain/Maya was right, she had a family now, far bigger than it was before but it was a family none the less.

"That means a lot to me that you say that, you and your boyfriend, sometimes girlfriend really can talk some sense into this old brooding Alpha Female. " Emerald replied with a small grin, trying to show she was doing better, not wanting Twyla to worry. She had worried the girl enough as it was and the last thing she thought twyla needed was to worry about her any more. "Alright to change the subject to you my dear camoflouging friend, what do you want to do about this insominia buisness tonight? Cause if you want I can chill with you tonight since Ruby hasnt had a nightmare in a while. But, "Emerald yawned a little, "If you want I'll lay at the foot of your bed in wolf form or something. Though...I would like to know your story if you're willing to tell"

Emerald didn't know if Twyla had some tragic past like a good deal of the mutants around here did, but if she didn't she wouldn't mind hearing it. Besides she just spilt her guts, Twyla might as well spill hers while they were both still cognitive enough to make out words.

Twyla smiled when Em said her words meant a lot to her. "Good." A firm nod was given after this. Hopefully some of what they had said was sticking with the wolf girl, that was all she could ask for. The blond knew she always had to come around to something by herself, so it was good that she and Maya/Gawain had planted the seeds in Emerald's mind--the rest was up to the redhead herself.

"Well, I'm probably not going back to sleep--" A glance at the clock on the stove. "for a while. I can't make myself fall asleep after a nightmare, I just have to tire myself out." She rubbed her face. "We can go up to my room or something and talk if you want though, Em."

She wanted her story?

Twyla could talk about that, it was getting easier. First though, she had to clean up that ice cream mess; she couldn't see it from where she was but she could feel its icy stare boring chocolate chip shaped holes in her back. Pushing off from the counter, she grabbed the bowl and walked to a garbage can. Half of the remaining mass of mint had melted and the rest was on the verge. As she scooped out what she could Twyla began speaking. "I was sixteen and at a party where we were playing Truth or Dare. I got dared to spend some time in this creepy old house we all said was haunted. Some jerks from the football team deiced it would be fun to--" The scrapping done, she headed towards the sink to rinse out the sticky bowl. "Try and scare me."

She paused as the water ran. "It worked and I tried to hide--they came into the room I was in but didn't see me. I looked down and realized why. I ran away the next day. Long and boring story later I ended up here." There wasn't much inflection, it was a lame story but it was hers and she was coming to grips with her fear of her mutation.