((ooc: This thread is closed until after the actual thievin' deed is done; Order members can feel free to give chase after we get rollin' with our shiny prizes. Any X's who are interested should look for their cue after Slade and Calley deposit their gift at the Mansion. Yay, meaningless brawls! Let's knock us out some teeth!

Thread cleared with Syn, Isabel, Neena, and Tricity. )

The pair staking out New York's most infamous homeless shelter was on odd matching. If one could look through the tinted glass of the black van, one would find something best described... as another car. A rather human-shaped car. And sitting next to it, scratching idly at the place where its baggy T-shirt started chaffing against its stiff feathers, was a raven. A rather human-shaped raven. The skeletal frame was clearly Homo sapiens; the full-body black feathers, the beak the matching black eyes that twinkled out over a short beak, and the way that its legs gave way to scaled gray feet that curved into talons instead of toes elevated it clearly into the Homo superior category. Tonight, it was going by the name of Chimera. 'Calley' was a bit too well-known.

The thing about blatant thievery was this: it was best done in style. Style demanded a target ripe with symbolic value. Style demanded visibility. Most of all, style demanded that it wasn't about the money--it was about the theft.

That's why after Chimera and Slade stole the Sanctuary's famed golden doors, they weren't going to keep them--they were going to tastefully deliver them to the Mansion. It didn't hurt style if you gleefully put the blame on someone else. The Order and the X-Men had both been lacking in missions of late, it seemed to him--therefore, Chimera was doing his little part to keep all of his friends in both factions entertained. That, friends, wasn't just style--it was outright philanthropy.

They had staked out the Sanctuary for awhile now. How exactly Chimera had convinced his fellow Kabal member to join him in this philanthropically stylish endeavor was a matter best left to the imagination. It involved promises about heart-warming teammate bonding, and the line "...ever been in trouble with three Factions?" had probably come up at some point. On that note: it was safe to say that Chimera had neglected to tell Hunter about this little plan. The man was mildly AWOL anyway, and a curious multi-shifter could hardly be blamed if an ancient vampiric overlord couldn't keep his own loyal minions in line.

Heh.

In any case, there were the doors, standing as proudly and invitingly and shiny as ever. The building itself had been quiet for quite some time now. It was a good a time as any. With a grin--or rather, with a slight parting of his beak--Chimera turned to his co-conspirator. "Shall we?" He cawed, in a voice every bit as unrecognizable as the rest of him.

The street in front of the Sanctuary was clear. The place was equipped with video cameras, but that was hardly at issue--or rather, hardly a deterrent. They just needed to move quickly. Get the doors off, toss them into the back of the nice black van that they'd borrowed from the Mondragon Labs parking garage, and hightail it to the Mansion. The point of this wasn't to escape pursuit. The point of this was to move quickly enough that pursuit arrived at the Mansion after they'd made a half-hearted attempt to frame the X-fools for their deed. It would be an easy enough act to see through. But Calley was willing to bet that the Order wasn't going to politely say, 'Please pardon our intrusion, but a pair of thieves may have passed through your Den of Ineptitude...' anymore than the X's were going to reply with 'Is something the matter, Our Emo Enemies--Emonemies, if you will? Why, these are your doors! We are as surprised as we are innocent!' An excuse for a brawl was an excuse for a brawl.

Besides, there was nothing more stylish than stealing from a homeless shelter.

The halls of the Sanctuary had been rather peacefully lately with nothing more than a small scuffle every now and then between residents over who got the top bunk. Shade had been spending this quiet down time sitting in his room. He had newly installed a large plank of wood to his wall and skillfully drawn a target on it. Using it for practice and as a means to pass the time, Shade was casually throwing those jet black daggers of his at the target, waiting lazily as the knife whisped into smoke three seconds after impacting the wood plank. He breathed a heavy sigh as he threw another dagger. It stuck to the board with a twang before quickly disapperating.

Yawning, he slowly rolled himself off his bed. Sliding the grey sweater over his head, he began to make his way to the front of the room to hit the lights and vanish into the darkness. Maybe he'd teleport down to the cafeteria, see what funny character they had dragged in from the night before.

ooc - if anything fluffs up your plans for the thread just pm me n ill change it

ic - Slade yawned ever so obviously in the dim, claustrophobic interior of the vehicle he and "Chimaera" were inhabiting. When Chimaera had promised endless fun and giggles Slade had hoped the boring prep could've taken a day off... but then how could such a devious and cunningly hilarious prank create such mirth and violence without the good old (but boring) stake out? Slade's chest rumbled softly with anticipation, his motor purring with the definite angst of a toddler waiting for santa. As far as he could remember the plan was to grab the doors, make a shoddy getaway (involving Slade firing out of the back windows. Talk about a drive-by to entice the inner gangster!) and plant the 'evidence' at the mutant school, after that it would be sitting somewhere near sipping on well deserved fuel and watching the ensuing mayhem between two groups of arch-enemies.

He tried to remember just how he'd been persuaded to do this, normally he was a straight up business to business kind of guy. However, Chimaera seemed to awaken that inner joy-riding youth that he'd once been all those years before he learnt how to act like a grown up. I mean what a pitch that had been!
"Hey Slade, fancy stealing a pair of golden doors and getting the x-men and the order to kill each other?" The guy should be in sales...
Slade was definitely looking forward to the getaway; he was already considering the getaway music, which of course was far more important than paying attention to the stake out! So far he'd been torn between 'breaking the law' by judas priest and 'PO-lice on my back' by lethal bizzle, as lethal bizzle was way more ghetto than the priests could ever be Slade was leaning that-a-way but until they started driving he'd leave that decision to fate.

He glanced over at the bird-man Chimaera, who seemed as restless as he was. Finally, Chimaera gave the green lights in his 'partner's in crime' kind of way Slade grinned, shifting uncomfortably he moved towards the doors.
"Not a moment too soon! This van's been getting smaller all day...either that or this plan's making me bigger. Let's get the fat cat's golden cat flaps shall we?"
Stepping out into the empty street he waited for Chimaera to step out, checking he had the relevant, door-napping, gear he began to lumber over towards the golden doors. This was gonna be swee-et!

((ooc: *grins* I rather like the sound of your own plans, Mister Inner Gangster.

PS: Syn, hope you don't mind a certain something I'm about to do to a certain someone. But she's had it coming for a certain time.))

>> "Not a moment too soon! This van's been getting smaller all day...either that or this plan's making me bigger. Let's get the fat cat's golden cat flaps shall we?"

Chimera could only tip back his head at that, a hearty craw! of a laugh crackling out past his vocal chords. He was liking his choice of crime partners more and more. With the flick of a door handle and a hop, he alighted from his perch in the van, and hit the street with black taloned feet. Slade had gotten out ahead of him. Two guesses on which exit had tested the van's shock system more heartily.

Just outside the doors, he held up a hand. "Give me thirty seconds, then get to work. I'm gonna go take out their first line of defense." And with those dastardly words, a nefarious crow man slipped inside of the Sanctuary's doors, being careful not to open them fully enough for a certain werecar bearing the Holy Grail of Door Disassembling tools to be seen.

Inside, as expected, sat Lisa. Her desk was immaculate as always. She looked up at his shining new face--his shining, clearly-a-mutant face--and smiled. "Welcome to the Sanctuary."

The crow gave a nervous shuffle of his feet as he stopped in front of the desk, accidentally putting a few scratches into their floor tiles. Oops. How careless of him. "Hello," he crowed softly; "I'd heard that you accept mutants. I..." He trailed off, letting the eerily perfect woman do his work for him.

"You heard correctly." Her smile managed to brighten without widening. It was like watching a waxed apple suddenly started to glow. And then the magic words came out of her mouth: "Would you like a tour?"

Chimera gave a short bop of his feathered head. The woman stood up from behind her desk, and came around with a follow-me motion. He obediently moved after her down the hall, staying a scuffling step behind, his head swinging nervously from side to side as his black eyes blinked at all the wonderful new sights this marvelous hobo home had to offer. "We'll start at the cafeteria first. For some reason, that seems to be one of the most popular places with our--"

And that's about the time he clapped the rag over her mouth. That's right, Lisa: chloroformed. The Receptionator struggled more fiercely than he'd expected from a woman whose only exercise seemed to come on these tours--she got in a backwards kick that came about two inches too close for comfort, and more than a few of his feathers ended up violently swirling into the air--but chloroform really was a handy substance. He could tell the exact moment her brain switched off: her eyes rolled back into her head, and her breath left her in an apathetic meh. The crow man gave a soft craw of laughter as he propped her up at her desk, like she was committing the grave crime of sleeping at work. The woman rarely left her station across from those golden cat flaps; it had to be done. The fact that he'd been wanting to do it for a long, long time clearly played no part in the matter. And really, let's face it: this was as close as Lisa came to taking a vacation.

Chimera glanced at the clock as he lightly limped his way out. Thirty-two seconds. Not bad. He gave Slade a clawed thumb's up, and a crack of his beak that could only be a satisfied grin.

Slade tapped his metallic foot enigmatically, fingering his tools with an eagerness that would scare passers by had there been any. Where was he to start first? Slade was a techy at heart, he loved putting cars together. Especially the sleek fast and frankly dangerous cars that required no end of intricately complex assemblence! Before he had become one of these said sleek fast and (frankly) dangerous cars he had also loved to drive them.

There were many terms for his need for speed: gearhead, motorhead, rivethead, speedmech... Either way something he loved even more than assembling these cars of mass destruction was to dissassemble them, as he loved to disassemble anything. Pulling something apart, learning what makes it tick right at its heart and then improving it was one of Slade's favourite parts of his job. In the end it all came down to pranks like this, being able to take apart someone else's door and steal it all simply for the amusement of starting a brawl!

Slade began to wonder what Chimaera was upto, what on earth did he need 30 seconds for? Slade's inner toddler was pouting, here he was standing right next to a set of golden doors that were crying out to him to be dismantled and he had to wait! His tapping had begun to echo slightly around the dingy alley, the noise resounding in time to his impatient and excited heartbeat. The door swung open and there stood Chimaera with what Slade could only assume was a grin on his beak... Peering round he saw a secretary, she was fast asleep. After a sudden '2+2' moment Slade grinned back, one order member down, in theory many to go!

"Nice job on the welcome party, hope she wasn't too much to handle."
Slade having seen the thumbs up sprang into action. He immediately pulled out the primary tools and set to dismantling the supports for the door. He didn't want to break it after all, Slade wasn't like that. He likedhis acquisitions to be in tip top condition! As he was doing so his radio clicked over to the tape function, filtering through his speakers came the sound of the great escape. The tape he'd prepared for today's grand scheme had a few great numbers on it; including said great escape, you can't touch this, stir it up, breaking the law and PO-lice on my back. Over the music Slade continued,
"Shouldn't be long... this trip is gonna be sick..! Gawd these doors are gonna look pretty in the mansion..."

Slade was talking as much to himself as he was to Chimaera, he could never be quiet while he worked. It helped him to visualise and implement the job in hand. He hoped Chimaera was keeping a look out, Slade was too focused on the door to concentrate on anything else. If they pulled this off it was going to be so awesome!

>> "Nice job on the welcome party, hope she wasn't too much to handle."

Chimera dramatically stretched out his hands in front of his chest, cracking the knuckles with the crack crack crack of a cement mixer with a screw loose. "Oh, she was brutal. I managed it somehow, though." And his handy bottle of chloroform was back in his pocket, neatly capped, with the rag in a plastic bag next to it.

And then Slade descending upon the doors like a one-man bee swarm on a can of spilled Coke, and the crow man could only back-peddle a few steps and blink his beady eyes in awe. Here was a professional. More than a professional: here was a man with a hobby. Hard core, yo. That door didn't stand a chance.

As the music clicked on from the car man's speakers, Chimera crawed his startled approval. He left the man to his joyful work, and took up a look-out position just outside the doors where he could see both inside to the foyer and out onto the street. So far, so good. And that music had just added +10 Class to this endeavor.

>> "Shouldn't be long... this trip is gonna be sick..! Gawd these doors are gonna look pretty in the mansion..."

"Won't they just?" Chimera graked, appreciating the mental image already. He'd always thought the golden doors would look better on the Mansion than on this home of horded human haters. "Think we can fit them through the Mansion doors, and leave them in the Headmistress' office? Or maybe just in the entryway, standin' there like a work-o'-art..." His clawed hands caught the drift of the music, and started swinging in widely dramatic conductor's strokes. "Would they fit where the Mansion gates are, or could we get them to the roof?" The options here glittered even more than their pretty golden cause; the crow man's taloned feet danced a few steps on the floor just thinking about them.

The disassembling was moving swiftly, and the music was no doubt beginning to attract curious ears from below, though none had yet appeared: the crow's hands kept moving to conduct his invisible orchestra. Chaos and perfection.

Slade heard bits of what Chimaera was saying, inbetween the delights of disassembling the object of his attention. Some of them definitely seemed plausible, not to mention hilarious. He was looking forward to installing the door into its new home, kind of like releasing an injured and cherished animal into the wild after nursing it back to health... except without all the crap. He thought about the epic battle between crow and secretary, that would keep him warm for a long time!

Slade shook his head slightly, his mind was flitting between thoughts too quickly. He needed to focus, this door was almost off and removing the last components of the door would be the most difficult. He voiced one idea he had for the doors,
"We could simply replace the masion doors with these ones... Then on another day we could put the mansion doors on the order building!"
On this suggestion he plunged back into the task of door-napping. It was intricate, and a few swears escaped from Slade as the great escape began to finish, but he managed to successfully remove the doors. It took a little longer than he had wanted, not to mention the top hinge had a slight knock, but given the time he'd had Slade's happy zone in his brain was throbbing with all-cookie goodness!

As the track on the tape monotonously changed into 'Can't touch this', Slade grabbed the doors and grunted urgently to Chimaera,
"Get the engines running, time to get this mischief on the road!"
Pulling the door to the back of the van he grinned inanely, this was going to be fun!

Unaware of the door-napping taking place at the moment, Shade made his first jump down onto the cool ceramic tile of the Sanctuary's foyer. The place had many nice dark corners that were suitable for the shadow jumper to use to get almost anywhere in this mutant hopeless shelter. Shade's left foot was the first thing to become visible and his body soon followed as he took his first stride into the light. He had that evil smirk planted on his face as he moved across the floor toward his destination, a spot of black near the other wall of the foyer. About halfway through his walk, he stopped abruptly. Something was different. Something that shouldn't be different. Something that shouldn't be different unless something was wrong.

Shade's unseen eyes traveled the room trying to spot the anomaly. His eyes lit upon the desk of Lisa, the secretary. Why of course? That was what was different. He hadn't heard that cheerful, yet somehow stern, tone of "Good day, Mr. Shade. Anything I can do for you?" He heard every time he passed this place. Most of the time he politely ignored the woman, or maybe respond with a harsh "No thank you." However today, she seemed to be sleeping on the job.

Lisa? No.

At first, Shade thought that she might actually be dead as he hastened over to the fallen secretary. Under closer examination, Shade could see her hair move ever so slightly as she breathed. He tried a gentle shake to wake her. Maybe she wasn't as perfect as she appeared to be and had just had a crazy evening the night before. However after several shakes later with no response from the passed out secretary, Shade knew it couldn't be just a simple hang-over. Someone had assaulted Lisa and that also meant someone intended harm to come to the Sanctuary. A second later, Shade's phone was ringing for Lady Syn. She would want to know about this.

"We have a problem." Shade said into the phone as it clicked. He didn't wait for a response as he snapped his phone shut as a strange sound began to fill the hall. It was almost like the pit crew of a Nascar racer were fixing their racer just outside the Great Golden Doors of the Sanctuary. Bewildered, Shade placed a hand in the pocket of his jacket where he instinctively materialized a blackened dagger as he slowly began to make his way toward the doors. The massive golden structures were slightly ajar, but Shade's eyes couldn't make out anything in the piercing sunlight.

Suddenly, the majestic doors seemed to transcend reality as they were lifted magically from their positions. They floated in magical tranquility for a second before they carefully folded onto each other and Shade could see the truth behind the illusion. The sunlight flooded into the darken Sanctuary, allowing Shade to see a large mechanical man holding both the doors in his large, metal hands.

No way. Someone was stealing the golden doors! Shade's face tighten into anger as emotion built up in his body. He clenched his teeth shut as jumped into a sprint across the tile floor after the theft.

((ooc: Any other Order members can feel free to hop in, as well. Looks like we've got a bit of time until Raina's party will start up, so we can have us an Epic Chase, if anyone's interested. Just allow us the honor of ditching you for a little bit towards the end... so that we'll have time to properly deposit our gift on the X-fools' doorstep. ))

>> "We could simply replace the mansion doors with these ones... Then on another day we could put the mansion doors on the order building!"

The crow man tilted its head at the werecar. And then, with all the wonder in the world, it replied; "You, Sir, have a beautiful mind." Agreed.

>> "Get the engines running, time to get this mischief on the road!"

Chimera was way ahead of him. As soon as that last hinge looked like it would soon be seduced by Slade's loving attentions, he flitted over to the van, and revved it up. That's why he didn't notice the first of the little Orderlings peeking out of their nest, until the golden doors were already stowed in back. It was an adorable creature: the hood of its dark sweater flopped around its hidden face like a puppy's ears as it bounded over the tiles of the foyer floor. Aww, was it going to try and chase their car? The crow man kind of wanted one, as a pet. He would feed it, and take it for walks...

...But sadly, this one already had an owner. And her named was Smelly McSynnedMyPants. So really, there was only one thing that an animal lover could do. As Slade joined him in the van, Chimera hit the gas. And hooked one thumb back over his shoulder towards the pup as the van shrieked into motion.

"How's your gun arm, Door Desperado?"

His beak was cracked open again, in that wide, wide smile. Dance, Order puppy. Dance.

ooc - rofl calley!

ic - As Slade finished loading the door into the van he noticed the the first of hopefully many order members to notice the absence of their shiny golden doors.
"Yoink! robbers one, order nil." Slade thought malevolently as a wicked grin shone mockingly from his metallic face. It dazzled momentarily towards the now sprinting order member momentarily, the cruel glint saying more than words ever could. Then Slade sprang into the van, grabbing the roof with his left hand as the tyres screeched into life. That moment would keep Slade warm on the cold winter nights for sure!

Slade began to laugh uncontrollably, this was too good to be true! As they pulled away Chimaera pointed out a little gunfire was required, Slade was more than happy to oblige.
"In need of a little target practice I think." Slade yelled as he deliberately raised his right arm, he wanted the order lackey to see this. His hand began to unravel, metallic matter began to replicate and reassemble whirring and crunching as its form disintegrated into a mass of blurred reforming metal parts. Each part slotted neatly into its new position and began to overlap with others to create the form of a large auto pistol. As the newly transformed weapon clunked into place his elbow jerked lower, his pistol settling into an aimed position towards the sprinting lackey.

Still laughing he fired, chunks of his matter ripping through his forearm before being slugged down the barrel of his pistol and propelling themselves towards the target. He felt the pain but weathered it, this was routine. Whether he hit or not was unimportant, the message was clear. Duck down and call for reinforcements, adding an injury or two was just added bonus. He reflected for a second just how insane he must look, a giant car guffawing while mowing down desperate pursuers... The thought gave him comfort, he usually had to be so reserved and calm in his tasks. What a way to let off a bit of steam! He hoped more would come, he'd been itching for a fight for so long.
"Let's hope he squeals for mummy, the game's really on now!"

Shade feet echoed loudly on the large tile floor of the empty foyer as he ran after the escaping robbers. Making it to the now bare doorway, the hooded pursuer managed to glimpse the flash of a metal grin as one of the robbers had the guts to actually smile back at the shadow assassin. A rare flash of anger shot through Shade's face, causing it to flush a bright, strawberry red, and his usual evil smirk replaced with a snarling sneer.

The van quickly screeched out of its parking spot in front of the Sanctuary. Shade skipped the small flight of stairs that had once led to the bright Golden Doors with a quick leap to the sidewalk below. Hopping over a ill-placed hotdog stand, the hooded mutant hopeless tried to out-run the over-weight van on foot. He ruthlessly smashed through an elderly man, nearly tramping him to death in the process, in his blind rage of revenge on the robbers.

Shade came to a screeching halt as the sidewalk exploded in front of him. Huge metal bullets smashed into the concrete, splintering it to dust. Shade managed to duck behind a moderate-sized sedan as metal smashed into everything visible to the get-a-way van. Tens of seconds ticked by in which Shade knew that the more he had to wait for the hail of gun fire to cease the further the robbers-and doors- were disappearing down the road.

Banging his head against the door of the car in useless frustration, Shade dropped his arms in failure. Instantly, he felt the cool, unmistakable touch of invisible. The under carriage of the car was dark enough for Shade to perform his disappearing act. Rolling under the car, the feeling of invisbility covered his body, and he jumped a block down the road into an alley. The van soon flew by, and Shade again jumped down the road. This time into a darken limosine. That was when the teleporter saw it: a building perfectly aligned to block out the sun. And the robber's van was just about to enter it. Shade would spring his trap when the soon-to-be-dead robbers crossed into the shadow.

The puppy danced, all right. The puppy danced over a hot dog vendor, and through an old man. And that was before Slade had even opened fire. Puppy's face did a little dance when he saw that gun opening up the concrete before him. And then he disappeared behind a car, whimpering.

Really, Chimera had been expecting more out of the Order than one little boy with his hood pulled up.

>> "Let's hope he squeals for mummy, the game's really on now!"

"Heh!" His beak clacked. " 'Mummy' is probably going to order up our heads on a platter for this. You lookin' forward to it as much as I am?" Harsh laughter cawed in the back of his throat as he kept the accelerator down, and the wheel turning. They were making good time for the Mansion when they crossed under that shadow.

Chimera suspected the man was a teleporter, from past experiences. But a shadow teleporter? Now now now, if he'd have known that, he'd be expecting very great things from the little puppy ninja. Very great things, indeed. With his heartworm splinters dispersed throughout his body, the crow man felt more than a little invincible. If he had known about the Orderling's powers, he would have three words for him: "Bring. It. On."

Slade smiled contentedly as the lackey learnt his place. Slade frowned as something came back to him.
"I think I've seen that kid once before Chimaera, I'm not sure but I think we crossed paths when a group of us got attacked by a stalker, it shone a light at him? Any particular reason for that?"

Slade was just as concerned by the obvious lack of attention they were drawing, one would have thought that two crazies stealing the prized possession of a group of human-hating maniacs woud have run into far more firepower than one iddy-biddy lackey who failed at the first signs of gunfire... Slade knew he'd be pissed if someone knocked out his secretary and committed the heinous crime of door-knappery on his golden entrance.

As Chimaera commented about heads and platters Slade refocused on the funnier side of life, after all whether or not the order leader was coming or not shereally must be pissed!
Oh my head would look gorgeous on a silver platter, although I don't envy the unlucky f*cker who has to digest my brains!"
There was little left to do but hope that the order members got their asses in gear and started playing the game of cops and robbers.

Shade's evil grin returned to his face when the speeding van crossed into the shadow of the towering building. This would require a precision jump, but it was managable. Drawing some inner-strength along with a presently invisble dagger, Shade took in a deep breath of courage before letting it out slowly, hissing it between his teeth. In the next instant, he had disappeared from the darkened limosine and sat suspended in the air, a foot above the racing van.

Crunch! The invisible 'jumper' smashed into the roof of the van. It hadn't been the perfect jump Shade had been looking for, but at least, he had hit the roof instead of the front bumper. Speeding vehicles usually don't carry passengers on its roof so naturally the current rider was having a hard time looking for a hand-hold as he rapidly slid backwards towards the hard pavement below. In an effort to stop, Shade jammed the dagger into the roof of the car. It sliced through the thin metal roof quite well, too well in fact. As Shade tried to pull himself forward, the weak metal of roof could not bare the weight causing the knife to slice another foot back. The roof rider's legs were now hanging off the back of the van as he franticly tried not to crash to the hard street below.

>> "I think I've seen that kid once before Chimaera, I'm not sure but I think we crossed paths when a group of us got attacked by a stalker, it shone a light at him? Any particular reason for that?"

The faintest red flags of suspicion went up in the crow man's head. Suspected teleporter, always cloaking himself in the shadows of his baggy clothing, and a Stalker knew to put a light on him? Hmm. Hmmm. Hmm, and heh. "Guessin' we'll find out soon enough," Chimera grinned, "unless our little friend disappoints."

>> "Oh my head would look gorgeous on a silver platter, although I don't envy the unlucky f*cker who has to digest my brains!"

"Ha! Man, what would it take to even get that head of yours open?" He joked, as they passed under the shadow of one of New York's famously towering buildings; "Forget a bone saw--try talkin' about the jaws of li--"

Crunch!

Speaking of forcibly tearing cars open. The crow man blinked as a knife stabbed through the roof, between himself and the werecar. It was... very shiny. Blink. Blink blink. He looked to Slade. "Well that's very serial killer-esk," he commented, with surreal calm. "I think the little dog's got a bite, after--"

Sccccreech!

His head cocked to the side and a little back, following the knife as it tore a path of fine metal destruction. Blink, blink. They drove back into the sunlight: another blink. And then the Orderling officially made his day: puppy's little legs started danglin' over their back window, kicking and squirming ever so cutely. The crow man threw back his head, grackling with laughter.

"What do you think, Slade? Ten points if I lose him, twenty if I can throw him into another car, thirty if I can throw him into an old lady with a cane?" When about to start an Order rodeo, one really must agree on the points system.

The crow man took the next turn at sliiiiightly above the speed limit. And if it wasn't for those lovely doors weighting them down, the van would have done a bit more than lurch alarmingly onto two wheels before slamming back down on the road, accelerator pressed to floor.

Puppy wanted a car ride? Puppy was gonna get a car ride.