Tarin didn't say anything when she explained how she felt about the spirits. Didn't say anything, but also didn't question it, just nodded.

Spirits in general weren't important at that moment anyway. One particular spirit and what they had done while in control of Tarin's body were what was important, what they were dealing with at that moment.

At least Tarin opened his eyes to look at her when her hands touched his face, and Lee looked steadily back up at him. "No," Lee told him, her voice still gentle, but with a firmness behind it. "You did not. That asshole of a spirit did all of that. And had at least two other times before you even had an idea that this world existed."

Keeping her hands on his face, Lee stretched up and gave Tarin a soft kiss. "None of that was your fault. It was him. I just wish I had put the pieces together sooner."

Tarin knew that on a basic level Lee was right. When it came down to it he hadn’t had any control over what that spirit had done once it had gotten into his head. Tarin also knew that the spirit had known what it was doing on a level incomparable to anything Tarin had ever experienced from a spirit. From what Lee had said it almost seemed like the things purpose, the thing that kept it tethered to the Earth was getting inside a body, his body, to continue its murderous sprees.

Practically speaking though…

Lee kissed him and somehow the self-loathing he was currently feeling just seemed to increase and coil down deeper inside of him.

“Do you think that the people who just left this shop would care?” he whispered. “Any of those people?”

Tarin knew the answer and that was the reason why he had spent so long just not digging into this. Every single time he started to do so, he came to the same conclusion.

“I just don’t know how to fix this or make it better Lee. I just have to not think about it because when I do I just realize over and over again how wrong it is that so many good things keep happening to me.”

He took a deep breath, ”And this makes it even worse. You’ve got more than plenty on your plate, and don’t know how to listen to anything you’re telling me.”

Lee frowned slightly when Tarin spoke. No, they probably wouldn't care about that distinction. But that didn't mean the distinction wasn't there. Didn't mean that that then made Tarin responsible for what another entity did.

It made sense that Tarin didn't know how to make things better, though. There wasn't a whole lot that could be done to make what had already happened better. But there were still things that could be done.

Except that Tarin continued talking.

This was making things harder? She was making things harder?

Lee's arms dropped to her sides as she continued looking up at Tarin. "Because I have a lot 'on my plate'?" Lee asked quietly. "So I can't, or shouldn't help you? I guess I should head home by myself then, since you now have all this to deal with."

This was a disaster. This was exactly why Tarin had worked so hard for the last several months to just keep all of this locked away where it couldn’t do this. Letting it out, acknowledging it, trying to deal with it meant facing all of this and putting it all into words and it was so hard to do. Now he’d said something he’d never intended to say and Tarin had no idea how to walk it back.

Lee wasn’t hugging him anymore. Instead she was suggesting that she should probably just head home on her own. The thought made Tarin panic even more internally but he just looked at Lee across the small distance between them that suddenly felt way larger.

“That’s not what I meant…” Tarin said, heaving a sigh and running a hand through his hair as he tried to figure out how to fix this whole disaster that he had managed to whip up for himself over the last few seconds.

Dropping his hand uselessly to his side, Tarin looked at Lee again, mentally pleading with her to understand, “I don’t know what to do, or how to say what I want to say.” he said, “I didn’t mean you were making things worse…”

More than anything Tarin just wanted to reach out and pull Lee back, but she had let go, and she was upset with him, and he didn’t want to make things worse. How did she not know by now that she always made things better for him?

“I just don’t know what to do…” he said. Again.

That hadn't been what Tarin had meant. Well. Good. There was going to have to be a talk, later, if it had been what he had meant because Lee did not like what else that implied.

Rather than answer right away, Lee grabbed Tarin's hand to lead him to sit on the edge of the bed.

Once they were sitting, Lee only far enough away so that she could turn slightly to face Tarin, Lee grabbed his other hand. "I'm not what to do to make what happened better," Lee replied. "I'm not sure if there is anything. But what we can do is find a way to get rid of him permanently so it can never happen again, with you or anyone else he manages to find that he can take over."

Because Lee had thought she'd destroyed the spirit that first time. When she had siphoned until the spirit had disappeared and the merge had ended. Kevin's father had confirmed that the spirit just kind of shrunk until it was gone, it didn't let go and leave the merge

And yes, he was gone for 15 years, but the spirit had come back.

"Is there anything I can do right now?"

Lee took Tarin’s hand and he sighed a deep sigh of relief that he’d at least gotten his point across to Lee that she wasn’t the problem. Following placidly as she pulled him towards the bed, Tarin sat on the edge and looked at Lee as she took his other hands.

She wasn’t going to try to leave on her own. Tarin hadn’t realized how upset that thought had made him. What if she’d done it and something had happened?

That hadn’t happened though, and when Lee spoke, Tarin listened.

Lee didn’t know what to do to make things better either…that was the whole problem. There wasn’t anything to do. There wasn’t any way to fix what had happened. It would always be awful and it would always be there.

Lee did have an idea though. An idea that Tarin somehow hadn’t thought of before. Some of the tension left Tarin as his expression turned thoughtful. Could a spirit be destroyed?

Tarin had seen spirits dissipate when whatever had been tethering them here had been satisfied…but destroyed?

“You think that’s really something I could do?” he asked quietly. The implications were interesting to say the least. ”How would we even….” he paused, ”It doesn’t matter…it’s a place to start.”

Could she do anything right now? Tarin still felt sick to his stomach, the self-loathing was still there like it was every time this came up and he remembered the dreams and what had happened. Could she help?

Tarin shook his head, “You never make things worse, only better.” he said, glancing towards the front of the shop, “I hate that there’s nothing I can do…”

Was this something she thought that Tarin could do? Honestly, Lee wasn't sure if this was something that could be done in general, never mind by Tarin himself.

Lee ended up just shrugging at first. "I'm really not sure," she admitted. "But if it is possible, this spirit needs it. Because I doubt that he'll ever stop trying to find a body so that he can keep killing."

It was a horrible thing to think about, that spirit coming back again, but now that Lee knew her siphoning hadn't permanently gotten rid of it, she knew that it was only a matter of time before he tried again. A decade or two if it took just as long for him to come back, and it didn't mean that he would try to merge with Tarin again, but Lee was sure that he would be back.

"I only make things better?" Lee asked with a small smile. She then leaned in to give Tarin a quick kiss. "I wish I could do more, or had better answers."

Tarin wasn’t sure either. It wasn’t something that Tarin had ever thought about doing. Destroying a spirit would be another line of defense though. It would mean that if spirits were aggressive or dangerous there would be something Tarin could do rather than simply keep them at arm’s length.

It was something to think about. Something to really think about.

What if that spirit came back though? Lee had said multiple times that they’d handle it or any other merge that happened. She had so much faith in him though. Faith that when he said that it wasn’t going to happen again he wasn’t just lying to himself.

Tarin supposed that if Lee could have that much faith in him, he owed it to her to at least try and have that much faith in himself.

She questioned his statement that she only made things better and Tarin nodded even as Lee leaned in to give him a quick kiss. “Always.” Tarin said, squeezing Lee’s hands slightly as they sat there in the back of the shop.

“I think the problem is that there just aren’t any better answers.” Tarin said softly when Lee wished there was more she could do.

“I just have to figure out how to live with it all.”

Lee's smile only widened when she heard Tarin say 'always'. She was glad that she was able to help in that way, at least, since there really wasn't anything else that she was able to do right then.

"Good," Lee murmured. "Because I don't plan on going anywhere. For any reason."

The smile disappeared as Tarin continued speaking. As much as she hated it, Lee thought Tarin was right, there weren't better answers. She hadn't been able to come up with any in the past 5 months, and she hadn't thought of any 15 years earlier.

"And I'll be here with you," Lee repeated. "Are you ready to go home, or do you need a bit more time?"

Lee smiled more widely and it made Tarin warm from head to toe. He hadn’t realized how cold he had been and for a moment he just sat there as it felt like everything returned to baseline and he genuinely started to calm down.

She wasn’t going to go anywhere. Not for any reason. Tarin nodded and closed his eyes for just another moment, the tension and panic slowly starting to recede. They’d need to talk more about the specifics later. Tarin needed to see if the concerns he’d had about the police were valid. The possibilities and implications there were absolutely terrifying though, and there wasn’t any reason to think right now that there was any immediate threat.

For now, he just needed to relax, even if Lee agreed that there weren’t and answers. It simply was what it was, and Lee was going to be there with him.

Was he ready to go home? Tarin sighed and let go of Lee’s hand to pull out his phone. There were two more appointments on the schedule. Nobody new, and nothing too wild.

“I really should stay if I can…” Tarin said, heaving a sigh and running his hand through his hair again.

“But yeah…I’m ready to go home…”

After she spoke, Tarin started to look, well not relaxed, but at least he was looking a little better. There was a lot that hadn't been good recently, but at least they had each other.

When Lee asked if he was ready to go home, Tarin let go of one of her hands to pull out his phone.

And he was still saying that he should continue working if he could. Well, Lee could always work on that during the walk and once they got back to the apartment. Or at least see if he was doing better after that walk.

"Alright, let me pack my stuff away and we can go," Lee said, leaning in for another quick kiss before she stood up and made her way over the the table she had been sitting at earlier.

It only took about a minute for Lee to gather up her papers to put away and then sling the bag over her shoulder. "Alright, lets go," she said.

Lee stood and Tarin just watched her as she moved around to gather her stuff. He knew that Lee didn’t particularly love it when he did that, but she really didn’t have any idea how big of a deal it was that she’d just sat there with him like that and said all of those things. Lee didn’t say things if she didn’t mean them, Tarin knew that, and she’d said she wasn’t going anywhere.

14 billion people in two worlds…how? It was a question that tugged at the back of Tarin’s mind more than he wanted to admit. It was also something they’d discussed before and Lee didn’t particularly like to think about in those terms. Tarin knew for sure though that nobody else in either of those worlds could have possibly understood and accepted what he was and what he’d done the way Lee could.

Dropping his eyes for a moment so he wasn’t outright staring, Tarin simply rose when Lee said she was ready to go.

The shop had never been large and it didn’t take very long to cross the short distance to the front, unlock the door, and make their way out onto the street. The apartment was in the opposite direction of where the couple from earlier had turned and Tarin found that somewhat of a relief, at least it wouldn’t turn out they were neighbors or something.

“What did you have planned for the rest of the day…” he asked, simply to fill the space in lieu of walking in silence.

When Lee said that she was ready to go, Tarin stood and they silently made their way out of the shop.

Once the door was locked, Lee reached out for Tarin's hand again as they started walking. Things still weren't great by any means. There was still the adapted out there somewhere who seemed to like hanging around outside their apartment. And there was still a lot for Tarin to deal with about that merge.

But things were better than the majority of the time since that last client. And they had something else to work on to make sure that that particular spirit never hurt anyone again.

It wasn't perfect. It wasn't even good. But it was better.

"Probably just the rest my paperwork and stuff I brought from the bar," Lee replied, looking over at Tarin as they walked. "But it's not urgent, so I'll see how I feel about it when we get home."

They made their way down the street and Lee explained that her plans for the afternoon had included nothing more than finishing her paperwork. It wasn’t urgent paperwork though, and it wasn’t something that she needed to rush into completing.

This time of day the street was pretty crowded as most people made their way home from work. The crowds didn’t usually bother Tarin, but the stress of the day had him anxious as he and Lee made their way hand in hand down the street.

“Well that’s good. “ he said, still working to distract himself as they made their way to the apartment. “Sometimes when I know something is urgent it makes it even harder to do than when there’s no rush.”

It was a silly sentiment, more kind of pointless rambling to keep his mind occupied while they walked, but it was something to talk about.

”If I go back, the last two appointments are only a half an hour and they don’t end late…” he said, still not sure if he was even planning to go back or if he’d just end up rescheduling. That meant a later night later in the week though, or an earlier morning.

Was Tarin starting to ramble? Well, he was talking about random urgent tasks sometimes being harder to do, so it seemed like he was. He hadn't done that in quite a while. But then again, Tarin also hadn't been as freaked out as he had just been in quite a while, thankfully.

So distraction it was, Lee thought. Before she was able to start on that, Tarin continued speaking. Saying that if he went back to the shop that day, he only had two half hour appointments.

That was an improvement over his earlier insistence that he was able to continue working that day. And maybe he could. But it was also possible and likely that he wouldn't be able to once he got back there, alone, and the client was there.

"Maybe we could go visit Kevin this weekend," Lee suggested, choosing for the moment to not verbally acknowledge Tarin's comment about work. "Make sure he's setting in with his classes. And attempt to make sure that he's actually getting his school work done."