Had Lee told him this before? Yes, he’d known that she’d been involved in one of the merges in the past, but they hadn’t ever talked about the specifics. It made Tarin want to get up and pace, or go somewhere else. He didn’t want to hear this, didn’t want to know what it was like.

To stop existing? To be something new and different. The phrases resonated on an almost horrifying level. That had been the theme of all of Tarin’s thoughts his whole life when that strange feeling had come on.

As she kept talking, Lee’s expression got more distant and her voice got more and more quiet. Tarin knew what the answer was to the question that Kevin asked, but he still cringed slightly when Lee answered.

Kevin’s eyes got wide as Lee explained what had happened when she’d gotten out of the camps, how she had merged with Kevin’s father. Tarin knew that the aftermath had been terrible.

Even after all of that, Lee gave Tarin the benefit of the doubt. Maybe that hadn’t been what was going to happen to him. Maybe it had just been a panic attack.

It was better to be careful.

Kevin was still looking at Lee and trying to process everything, but eventually his eyes moved over to Tarin for a moment before going back to Lee.

“Is it like the other one where you have to fix it?” Kevin asked, ”Are the new….beings good?”

Were the merged beings good? Lee almost answered immediately that no they weren't. That was why she'd always worried about them, why the idea of them scared her. Much more than merges with spirits.

But that wasn't entirely true. There was Romania…and most merges were not nearly as dangerous, to her definitely, when compared to spirit merges. But she could never tell what to expect.

"I've seen three merges," Lee told Kevin, her voice still not up to normal volume again. "That one was the first. It saved our lives. I don't think both of us would have gotten out of there if the merge hadn't happened."

"But it was not good," Lee continued. Not with what it had done, how it had killed the guards.

"The second one I saw wasn't good either. It seemed to want to destroy things, and caused a lot of damage. I had to ask Sam for help with it, and he came with some of the X-Men."

"The third…" This was really the only good merge, yet was the hardest to talk about. Yet, Lee had actually told Kevin about this one, sort of, when he was younger and wanting to hear stories of her 'adventures'. She'd told the very short version because really, who would have believed it when she said she had died and a unicorn had brought her back?

"Do you remember the story I told you the day you met Blaine? About the unicorn? That was the third merge, and was a very good thing at the time."

Kevin was just shocked as his Mum kept talking. This was so much to wrap his head around. On one hand, Kevin understood that he’d been really little when his Dad had disappeared. His Mum said that there hadn’t been any reason for Kevin to know about this stuff because there wasn’t any worry of it happening again. But…it had saved their lives?

Both of them wouldn’t have made it out of the camps if it hadn’t happened?

But it wasn’t good?

The second one his Mum explained was all bad. Something had happened and the X-Men had had to come in to stop whatever had been made…his Dad had fought multiple X-Men? Well, Kevin supposed it hadn’t really been his Dad according to what his Mum said.

The third was a unicorn. That was just crazy. Did Kevin remember what his Mum was talking about? Kind of. He’d somehow known that his Mum had seen a unicorn…but the unicorn had been his Dad? Kind of?

Kevin was doing a lot of staring.

———

“The bottom line is that it’s very unpredictable.” Tarin said quietly.

“I didn’t think it was a thing that could even happen to me. Your Mom had explained some things though and I realized when I was in there that it felt like what she had said…”

Here Tarin paused and took a breath, ”It’s not really something we can test out. So I’ve been working on making sure it doesn’t get to that point. Ever. ”

Lee was not surprised by the widening of Kevin's eyes as she spoke. It really was all rather unbelievable. He didn't say anything, though, or ask any other questions at the moment.

Then Tarin spoke, his voice also quiet, and talked about how what he felt while he was in that hole during the collapse. And about how it wasn't something that they could test out to see if it was something he was capable of because it was so unpredictable. And so potentially dangerous.

Lee gave Tarin a slight, tight lipped smile before turning back to Kevin. "I know it's a lot to take in," Lee said. "I had trouble with it when your father first told me about it, too."

The merging on its own was a lot to take in, but combined with everything else that Lee had told him, it was A. LOT. Kevin probably hadn't been expecting the scope of even one of these revelations when he had come up with his list of questions, never mind all of them.

"Are you already after all of these answers?" Lee asked Kevin gently. "Do you have any other questions right now?"

Kevin was still just kind of staring at his Mum when Tarin started to talk and Kevin looked over at him and tried to figure all of this out.

The spirit merges were scary and it was really hard to believe that spirits, bad spirits, were out there and could totally take him over. Tarin always seemed so…calm. It really had been surprising to Kevin that Tarin could have had trouble with his powers.

This was a whole other thing though. This wasn’t just trouble. This was just how his powers worked sometimes. No wonder he talked so much about needing to know your powers and how they worked.

Kevin’s Mum spoke again and he looked away from Tarin to try and listen.

A lot to take in? A lot to take in. Kevin hadn’t known any of this stuff about his Dad, but he could sort of understand why his Mum hadn’t told him. It was almost unbelievable…

Was he alright?

Kevin nodded slowly.

Did he have any other questions? Kevin sat back on the couch a little bit and said, ”Like a million.” he said. ”I just don’t know how to ask them…”

He sat there for a second though, then nodded to himself, “I’m glad you told me though.”

Now he didn’t know what else to say. Kevin kind of wanted to go back to his room now, but thought that might be kind of weird after that whole conversation.

————

Tarin watched Kevin’s reactions as he digested all of the information he had just been given. Why was he so nervous about how Kevin would react?

Kevin didn’t really say anything though, he just looked at Tarin, then back at Lee and seemed to be trying to figure it all out. Tarin didn’t say anything else.

Finally Kevin spoke, he had questions, but didn’t know how to ask them, he was glad he knew…

Then it was just quiet. Tarin looked over at Lee, completely unsure what to do next.

Kevin simply nodded slowly when she asked if he was alright. The way that he nodded, Lee wasn't really sure that he was fully alright, but at least he wasn't freaking out about the knowledge.

And he had a million questions, but didn't know how to ask them. It was Lee's turn to nod. "Understandable," she replied. "When you figure them out, I'll do my best to answer them."

As Kevin went silent again, Lee glanced over at Tarin, who was looking uncomfortable sitting there as well. While the conversation with Kevin could happen with Tarin in the room, Lee didn't want to have the expected conversation with Tarin while Kevin was still around.

"If you don't have any other questions right now, you can go think if you want," Lee offered. When she had something to really think over, Lee preferred to do it while walking or at night when she was guaranteed to be alone. Kevin, she had discovered over the years as he'd had to sort through much smaller issues, disappeared into his room.

Kevin looked at his mum again for a moment before nodding. "Yeah. Thanks mum," he said before pushing himself off the couch and heading to his bedroom.

Once Kevin was safely out of earshot, Lee moved closer to Tarin on the couch. "That ended up being a lot more than I was expecting," she said. "He came out with a list of questions on his phone."

Lee was leaving the offer for more questions open to Kevin. She kind of had to do that after everything they’d talked about, he supposed. Just from the sliver of context Lee had been able to give, the topics had been wide ranging and difficult. Kevin was bound to have questions and it was only fair to clarify them.

Kevin didn’t have questions now though and Lee told him that he could go if he wanted. The look of relief on Kevin’s face when she said he could go was clear as day and after thanking his Mom he took off.

Tarin watched Kevin go for a moment and then looked over at Lee as she moved towards the end of the couch where he was sitting in the chair.

Lee was shocked that her son had come prepared with a list of questions to ask when he’d been given permission to ask anything he wanted to know about things he hadn’t been allowed to previously know.

”You can’t be all that surprised Lee…” Tarin said, leaning back in the chair with a sigh.

”I’m guessing he was as persistent with everything else as he was there at the end. How much did you tell him?”

Tarin questioned her surprise that Kevin, being her son, had prepared a written list of questions to ask her.

That…That did actually make sense. He'd seen her doing similar things, for any situation, his entire life.

But still, he was only 13.

"Ok, totally fair," Lee conceded after a couple of moments. "Still, I was hoping that he wouldn't be asking all of those questions."

Then Tarin was asking her how much she had told Kevin, and asking how persistent he'd been about all of his other questions. Exactly what she had thought that Tarin would want to know. And exactly what Lee did not want to talk about with Kevin around.

"He definitely was about the spirit merges," she said. "He started with wanting to know why he had to go to Canada. Though he did not believe me when I gave the reason being to stop Rachel being nosy.

"I tried telling him that there were a few strong spirits take energy from you against your will. He must have realized that I was leaving something out because he kept pushing. Though, he doesn't understand why Robert didn't like his father because of what the spirits did, or why he passed that dislike on to you."

Tarin nodded when Lee said that she’d hoped Kevin would miss some of the questions he’d asked. None of that should have been surprising either. For a while now Tarin had been trying to tell Lee just how intuitive her son was. Yes, he was only 13, but he said things and observed things and gleaned things sometimes that were surprising.

And of course he’d asked about why his Mom had sent him away back in the spring, and of course trying to pass it off as Rachel being nosy hadn’t been enough.

Lee had done well, very well, in fact. It sounded like she’d given him all of the basics without sharing the details of what had made Lee send him out of the country.

Tarin heaved a sigh, running a hand through his hair, then rubbing his eyes with his thumb and forefinger, “Well. He didn’t run screaming from the room when I walked in so I guess you managed to convince him that I’m not terrifying.” Though, honestly, that line of thought wouldn’t have been too far off.

Dropping his hand, Tarin looked over at Lee, “What did he say?” he asked, not sure if he wanted to know.

And they’d talked about why Robert didn’t like him. Jesus…Kevin really had come with a hell of a list. More on that later though…

Lee was about to argue Tarin's comment about him being terrifying, but a fuzzy memory came to the surface. Kevin's father had said something similar when he had first told Lee about the merging. And she had been scared; At that time, there was no knowledge that she could end merges by siphoning his energy, there was no thought that they could potentially be good.

"Other than explaining that the spirits get mad at me when I'm trying to end the merges, I didn't really try to convince Kevin of anything," Lee told Tarin.

"I framed most of the talk about powers on his dad unless his question was about you specifically. I think it might have broke his brain for a moment when I told him that the spirits had been controlling his father's body when I got hurt. But he was confused about why Robert had been mad at his father when it had been the spirit's doing."

"He was also concerned about how he would be able to figure it out if it were to happen again and I wasn't around. So I gave him a suggestion that should work, but also told Kevin that I wasn't expecting it to happen again."

Lee pointed out that she hadn’t really tried to convince Kevin of anything. Not even that Tarin wasn’t terrifying…that…was honestly probably for the best, he decided.

Kevin hadn’t understood why Robert got mad when the spirits hurt Lee during a merge because it had been spirits and not his Dad. They hadn’t really talked about what happened last spring. That thought of any of it still made Tarin vaguely nauseous and he shook his head.

When Lee had offered to answer all of these questions Tarin hadn’t realized that so many would end up directly and indirectly related to him.

Tarin’s eyes widened a bit as Lee finished talking. The conversation had gone so far as for Lee to give Kevin suggestions to try in case he was ever concerned that Tarin had been possessed and Lee wasn’t around.

Great.

It helped a bit that Lee was so convinced it wasn’t going to happen again, but they really couldn’t be sure, could they?

“That…is probably a good idea.” Tarin said a bit hoarsely. “And it was smart to not downplay anything.” If it ever did happen again, Kevin should have ways to tell and know how exactly to act.

What a miserable conversation.

“What else did he want to know?”

Hearing the tone in Tarin's voice, Lee reached her hand out for his. "A good idea that he will likely never have to use," Lee added, her voice soft but certain.

"He wanted to make sure that he could ask more questions later, and I made aure he knew it wasn't a common or likely thing to happen. It had been 15 years."

What else had Kevin asked about? Lee sat and thought for a couple moments. There had bee a lot talked about in a relatively short time, and it seemed like it had kept coming back to his fathers, and Tarin's, powers.

"He wanted to know if the X-Men taught me how to fight and if that's how I knew them," she continued. "Mentioning when and where I met most of them led to mentioning the astral projection thing as well as the fact that we had both taken self-defence lessons together. I swear, he was just as shocked by that as anything else that he heard."

"But that led to asking why we needed to learn, and wanting to make sure that he wasn't going to be surprised to hear at school that his father and I were X-Men," Lee said, then sighed and shook her head.

Had there been anything else that Kevin had asked that she or Kevin hadn't already told Tarin about? "I think that's about when you came in. But I have a feeling that the questions are never going to end now."

Lee reached out for Tarin’s hand and he only hesitated for a second before reaching back and taking hers. He hated that Kevin knew about the whole merging thing now. It wasn’t Lee’s fault and she’d absolutely done the right thing, but no matter how someone found out about it, it changed things. It was this wildcard that was always in the back of everyone’s head.

Even if it was exceedingly rare. Still, Tarin nodded and smiled a little gratefully at Lee. “It sounds like you handled it beautifully.” he said.

The rest of the talk had gone similarly well, it seemed, and Tarin shook his head at the things that Kevin had zeroed in on with a laser focus that must be unique to teenagers.

The sparring thing was just funny though and Tarin had to chuckle a little bit, “I can’t blame him for being surprised.” He said, “It would take a lot for me to get in the ring with you…and then it would only be as a willing punching bag.”

Still, Kevin had been thorough and extensive with his questions and Tarin knew how hard it was for Lee to talk about these things on a normal day, let alone with her child.

”Are you okay?” Tarin asked, squeezing her hand a little, ”I’m guessing you’d have told me if Kevin scheduled this in advance.”

Lee gave Tarin a small smile and squeezed his hand when he said he thought she'd done well in answering Kevin's questions. "Thanks," she said softly. She hoped that Kevin felt that, too. It's not like there was anyway she could have prepared herself for this. They didn't write books to help you figure out how to tell your child that their other parent has an unpredictable, but potentially dangerous mutation, afterall.

Tarin thought the idea of Lee and Kevin's father sparring was funny, based on how he laughed slightly. Though he hadn't been anywhere close to being in shape like Tarin was, Kevin's father hadn't been too bad back then; hiking down in Columbia hadn't been too difficult physically for either of them other than the heat.

Things had changed with time, though.

"I guess I can see why he'd be so surprised," Lee said after a couple moments. "When we did that, we were much closer to being evenly matched. If he wasn't fast enough to get a hold locked onto me, I was able to slip away quite often. But most of Kevin's actual memories of his father, well…He'd definitely developed a dad bod by that point."

But then Tarin was asking if she was alright. Lee actually thought about that for a moment before nodding. "It definitely wasn't easy, but I am," she said, then thought for another moment. "I think trying to avoid the merging and not actually going into the details made it easier than with Rachel and Robert somehow."

"And no, I had no warning," Lee continued. "Though I think he was taken aback when I suggested he sit after he said he had a list of questions."

The idea of anyone (who didn’t have similar powers) being evenly matched with Lee in the ring was the part that was hard for Tarin to wrap his head around. Obviously Lee had trained and learned a lot to get to where she was, but he still shook his head slightly at her descriptions of everything.

“It’s always hard to reconcile what you know about a person with what there really is…” Tarin said. He could only imagine how hard it would be to do that with someone you knew as well as your own Father. Tarin’s Dad had been an open book though, simple and straightforward and no powers to speak of. In fact, Tarin didn’t know of anyone else in his entire family who had ended up with powers. Tarin had simply won the luck of the draw.

Lee seemed to think she was alright. Somehow trying to toe the line between answering Kevin’s questions and avoiding telling him too much had kept her occupied enough that she hadn’t gotten too upset. Tarin supposed that was good. The conversations Lee had had with her siblings had taken a lot out of her and Tarin had been there to help with both of those. Somehow he didn’t think it would have been appropriate for him to be present for the bulk of what happened today.

Lee’s confirmation that she hadn’t had any warning today was once again not a surprise to Tarin, and neither was Kevin’s surprise when Lee had told the boy that he needed to sit down.

“You can definitely send him to me if he has anything else I can answer…” Tarin said, ”Now that we’re on the same page, there’s no reason you have to do all the explaining.” . Today may have stayed more focused on Kevin’s father, but the more the kid thought, the more he might wonder about his roommate and exactly what the implications of Tarin’s powers meant sometimes.