Lee’s eyes looked back up at Tarin’s when she felt him reaching out, wiping the tear from her cheek. Leaning her head slightly into his touch, Lee gave Tarin a small smile. ”Thank you,” she breathed.

Lee took a deep breath and shook her head slightly. ”What comes next doesn’t make any sense, there’s no reason why we did it, if it wasn’t for this dream,” Lee went on to explain quietly.

”Even in the first days after the dream, him and Rupert talked about their memories of her, and I had nothing. Just the occasional emotional reaction to something they said. Happy, proud, scared, nervous, but no actual memories.

“I just wish I could actually remember what she looks like, not just the drawing…” As she finished speaking, Lee leaned forward, her head coming to rest on Tarin’s shoulder as her eyes closed.

Again, Tarin didn’t know what to do. Lee explained that besides being important for its own reasons, the story about the incredibly real shared-dream was context for what happened next.

Tarin wanted to have the right words to say to make Lee feel better, to give her some kind of peace about the whole situation. He desperately wanted to help fix things, but he realized that this was probably one of those situations where there just weren’t words. All a person could do was empathize, which for Tarin was much easier said than done. Lee leaned forward and Tarin wrapped his arm around her, his hand rubbing up and down in what he hoped was a comforting way.

Why was he so bad at this? ”I wish you could too…” he said lamely.

Tarin didn’t want to look at the rest of the folder. He had a feeling it was all building up to what had happened in Romania, and it was something he just didn’t want to think about.

If Lee could share it though, if she could be this open and this…vulnerable, he could listen.

Opening the folder again one-handed and slipping the top two papers behind the rest, Tarin let his eyes scan the article again and he sighed, shaking his head slowly.

”How did you do all of this?” Tarin said, a thought occurring to him as he scanned the article for a date. ”This was still the same year?”

Lee just sat there. Leaning against Tarin as he went back to the folder she had given him. And he was in shock that all of this had happened within the same year.

Lee nodded her head against Tarin’s shoulder. ”That was a day or two after we woke up from the dream,” Lee said quietly, though her voice was a little louder than when she had been talking about Alice.

”I only had feelings left over. He remembered Alice. Rupert remembered being a good man, because of Alice? Sebastian remembered a virus that had existed in the future. A virus that lab was currently developing.

“I couldn’t remember anything, but when Slate called us to go help,” Lee explained, her voice measured. ”The mere mention of the virus’ name, Haywire, made me panic.”

Tarin’s question about whether that fight had still been the same year was an even bigger question than he had realized. Lee quickly did some math before looking up at Tarin again. ”Everything in that folder is. You’re basically holding the 370 days after I got married in your hand there.

“And honestly, I don’t know how I did it all,” Lee breathed as her head lowered onto Tarin’s shoulder again. ”Probably why we got home from that fight and I had a breakdown…”

All of these stories had felt like they were building, and every time something new came to light, Tarin had wondered more and more intensely how Lee had done it all, how one person had been able to do all the things Lee had done.

She explained the shared reaction that they’d all had to the shared dream. The same names over and over again, they’d all been close, but Lee wasn’t working with them anymore. No, she was just working at the little bar. In fact, she had left New York for years…because it wasn’t safe. Tarin understood that decision now.

He also understood how Lee had made it through everything that had happened in such a short amount of time.

She hadn’t.

It was enough. Closing the folder again Tarin leaned just a little bit, arm still around Lee to drop it on the table, then wrap his other arm around Lee.

”It’s a testament to how incredibly strong you are that you made it that long with everything you’d been through Lee. I’m glad you’re okay.” The fact that she’d gone through all of that and had come out as open and caring and…alive was incredible.

Tarin had to think for a moment, he hadn’t been through anything like Lee had and he was a mess. Suddenly all of his problems seemed so silly. Perspective was a funny thing like that.

He definitely wasn’t going to push all of that off on Lee anymore, that was for sure.

When Lee felt Tarin’s other arm wrapping around her, her own arms encircled him, holding him close to her. And he thought that she’d been strong?

Lee shook her head against Tarin’s shoulder, though she didn’t pull away. ”I sure didn’t feel strong,” she said, her head still shaking. ”I still don’t when I think back about it.”

She just sat there for a minute, taking the comfort from Tarin’s embrace. All of this hadn’t been nearly as difficult when she had been on her laptop pulling up articles. Even when she was writing her notes beside the articles, it hadn’t felt this hard. Was she going deeper into the memories when she talked about them?

”Do you think this is all too much?” she finally asked. ”Should I maybe not tell Rachel about all of this?”

She hadn’t felt strong? She still didn’t.

”Lee, I know you’re bound and determined to downplay your part in all of this, but my God…look at everything you’ve done and survived. How many people can say that they’ve actually made a real difference in the whole world?”

Tarin just sat there, holding her for a moment, ”And you’re still doing it.”

Was it too much? Should she hold things back from Rachel? Tarin pulled back from Lee a little bit so he could see her face, ”That’s up to you. I do think Rachel could handle it. It all just boils down to how much you want to share. You don’t owe anyone any of this.”

Again, Tarin thought about how unfair it had been to tell Lee she should share all of this with her siblings. ”I didn’t realize what I was asking you to do when I said you should tell them.”

”Thank you for telling me.”

Maybe Tarin had a bit of a point. Even if she hadn’t felt strong at the time, especially after that fight at the lab, Lee had done a lot, and had made real changes in the world. Really helped and saved people, places. Parts of the world.

But Tarin was also wrong. She wasn’t still doing it. ”But I haven’t continued,” she whispered. ”I haven’t done anything like any of that in over a decade.”

When Tarin pulled back, Lee let her arms loosen from around him and looked up into his eyes. Were they greener than normal? And while he said that he thought Rachel could handle hearing everything she had been through, she didn’t have to, that she didn’t owe it to anyone.

And then he was thanking her for telling him. Lee gave him a small smile. ”You’re welcome,” she said softly, then leaned in to give him a quick, soft kiss. ”Though, even with how hard some of it has been, I’m glad I told you, that you know it. Know me…”

She wasn’t still doing it?

”You saved me.” he said. ”You’re helping raise the next generation to do better than the last.”

Tarin just looked at Lee for a moment, hoping the words would sink in, ”Don’t look so sad when you say you haven’t done anything the last ten years, you earned this with all of that fear, all of that pain. It’s someone else’s turn to save the world.” How did she not see that?

Lee kissed him then and he kissed her back and listened as she spoke again, ”I’m glad too.” he said, a bit guiltily, knowing he hadn’t offered up much of anything reciprocally.

She had saved him, hadn’t she? Part of it had been so automatic, but thinking back to that night she had found Tarin in the park, she really had saved him. Not simply from the merge, but his life. And she was trying to raise Kevin to be better. When she had been volunteering at the Sanctuary, she had been trying to help other kids be better, too.

”I earned this?” Lee questioned as she looked up at Tarin. But how could you earn not trying to make the world better? She wanted to ask what if no one else took their turn to save the world, but since she hadn’t been doing anything anyway, what was the point?

”So what, we should focus on just saving each other, and only when necessary?” Lee asked, though her tone was slightly joking and one corner of her mouth was turned up slightly.

Lee didn’t seem convinced, but Tarin nodded his head when Lee responded. ”If that’s what you want.” he said.

Her next words made Tarin frown a little bit, ”As we previously established, hopefully that isn’t an issue.”

He sat for a minute, thinking, ”And like you said, once Kevin is settled in school, that group you’d been helping will always need volunteers. There’s lots of things you can still do if you want. I’ll help. I’ve never done anything, so I’ve got some ground to make up.”

”It’s not always life or death,” Lee said, her voice lighter than it had been in quite a while. ”Sometimes I just need saved from nosy little sisters. Or an energy boost or hand to hold when something unexpected drops in my lap.”

And, as Tarin pointed out, there was always volunteering. It had felt good, rewarding, to go work at the Sanctuary. Even the times she did so when she probably should have been taking a nap between her two jobs and Kevin.

”Damn you, making all these logical arguments,” Lee teased, her previous one sided smile widening. ”That’s supposed to be my job.”

”Now that, I can get behind.” Tarin said, leaning back a bit, able to relax a bit more after the intensity of the last little while. All this talk of the death defying and intense was hard for him to wrap his head around.

As for his logical arguments, ”Have to be good at something…” he smiled back with a shrug.

It felt good to have gotten Lee to acknowledge some of the things she had acknowledged in their talk. She was always too eager to take the wrong kind of responsibility.

”I do kind of want you to take a picture of Rachel’s face when she reads about “Una Diabla” though….”

Lee smiled when Tarin agreed that that kind of saving each other he was alright with. ”Good. And I’ll save you from idiotic older brothers.”

”Have to be good at something…”

Lee smiled back, giving him a quick wink. ”I think you’re pretty good at more than just that,”

When Tarin continued speaking, Lee couldn’t help but laugh. ”Got it. Make sure I’m there when she reads that one so I can get a picture,” Lee said, the laughter still in her voice. ”I may have to take a few. I imagine she’ll go through a few very different expressions."

She would save him from idiotic older brothers? Well, the fact that Lee was once again acknowledging that she had a brother was progress. ”I could have saved myself from him…” Tarin said ”It was just more fun to watch you do it.” he wasn’t entirely without dignity after all.

As for Rachel and the rest of the file, Tarin nodded, ”I’d imagine she will…” he said, ”I know I did…” .

Glancing at the TV, then back at Lee, Tarin took a deep breath, messing with his ball cap again in the slightly uncomfortable silence that followed such a deep conversation.

”Any plans for the rest of the day?” he asked, a bit lamely.

Lee nodded knowingly. It was just more fun watching her deal with Robert was it? Yeah, sure it was…

But then Tarin was playing with his hat and asking if she had any plans for the rest of the day. ”Not a thing,” Lee replied. ”After how the last couple of days have been, I don’t feel like doing a whole lot, to be honest.”

Reaching up, Lee adjusted Tarin’s hat slightly, straightening it. ”Maybe just relaxing here? See what we can find to watch?”