It had been a quiet afternoon after Lee and Tarin had left the Empire State Building. They both had quite a bit to think about after speaking to the spirit up there. Which surprised Lee; she had expected Tarin to have some things to think about, but Lee hadn’t been expecting what the woman had said to her. She hadn’t known that he had gone to see the woman so much, that he had shared so much with her.

It may have been because of all the thinking that they had to do, but Lee had managed to get Tarin back to her apartment.

And somehow managed to keep him there and managed to keep him there until well after sunset. Even now as she sat on the couch, Lee wasn’t completely sure how she had convinced him to stay the night. Maybe it was the fact that he hadn’t gotten himself a new bed for the shop yet. Maybe it was because she had said she would go back to the shop with him then walk home by herself. Alone.

Either way, it was the middle of the night and Tarin was asleep. In her bed. While she was going to be up all night.

After everything that the spirit had said that day, thinking about it like that seemed a little awkward.

Rather than thinking about that any further, Lee reached forward and grabbed the remote. There had to be something she could watch to make her brain turn off for the night.

Tarin couldn’t help but think that it felt like he was in one of those 80’s movies with the rip track as he hung out in Lee’s room. Again.

So you’re probably wondering how I got here…

Honest to God, he didn’t really know.

They’d gone to the Empire State building, then somehow he’d ended up back here where he’d stayed. And stayed. And stayed. Until it was too god damned late to get the new damn bed he’d been planning to get all day.

At that point he’d decided it didn’t matter. The bed was irrelevant and he could handle things just fine with the one he already had. Lee had agreed and he’d thought he’d won. Until she said she’d walk him to the shop and then walk home by herself . Tarin knew for a fact that there were crazy people out at night in New York and there was no way that was going to happen.

So here he was.

In her bed.

Again.

God it was so weird. Weirder yet because she was still awake, out in the living area and he knew it. Tonight he wasn’t exhausted to the point of passing out, so he couldn’t ignore the embarrassment that he’d kicked Lee out of her bed again. Hadn’t she said she was likely going to end up tired around dawn anyway?

Ugh.

Tarin had also realized, about the time he’d shut the door to Lee’s bedroom, that he didn’t have any clothes to sleep in.

Generally not a problem at home. He didn’t sleep in much anyway. Here though…the choices were sleeping in jeans or sleeping in his boxer briefs.

Oh well. It wasn’t like she was going to come in or anything. Right?

At least that’s what Tarin told himself as he finally fell asleep.

She wanted to scream. He could tell that she wanted to scream, but with his hand pressing into her windpipe that simply wasn’t something she could do. She couldn’t breathe either. His thumbs pressed harder and her eyes started to bulge a bit, her body twisting and straining against where he had her pinned…

Tarin could see it all happening, feel the woman’s skin as he choked the life out of her. He wasn’t in control of his body, he didn’t remember this happening, but he was seeing it all now.

The memory flashed and now he was doing it again. Same thing, different woman.

Another flash, another body, this time he held the knife. The same one he’d used on Christine. Oh god, that meant it had been in his apartment the whole time after…after…

Flash again….and again….and again….

They couldn’t scream. None of them could scream.

But he could.

Romcom, infomercial, romcom, romcom, infomercial…

What Lee wouldn’t give for some cheesy sci-fi movie right now. But apparently there were none of those tonight. All that appeared to be on tv tonight were romantic comedies, infomercials, and even worse reality tv reruns.

Letting her head fall back against the couch behind her, Lee sighed. The infomercials were starting to look good. That was not a good thing.

Suddenly, Lee heard a scream. She was on her feet before the scream had even finished, rushing toward her bedroom door faster than the average person would be capable of.

Door open, Lee moved across the dark room, currently lit by only the red lights from her alarm clock and coffee maker on the bedside table. She didn’t need to turn on the light, she’d been in this room for 7 years and hadn’t really changed the layout.

Stopping at the side of the bed, she reached her hand out to shake his shoulder. “Wake up Tarin,” Lee said, shaking his shoulder a little harder. “You’re fine. It’s a dream…”

It was then that she realized her potential mistake in not turning the light on. Lee knew her room, yes. Didn’t need to see to move around in it. But that familiarity did not extend to being able to see flailing limbs. “Crap,” she muttered to herself.

Turning her siphoning back on so that she would hopefully be able to feel an arm swinging toward her, Lee continued shaking Tarin’s shoulder as her other hand groped in the dark for the lamp on her table.

The memories kept coming, faster and faster, over and over again and Tarin knew that he was going to lose his mind. It was too much, too violent, and too horrifying to tolerate.

He couldn’t control his limbs, he couldn’t stop the massacre that was happening over and over again.

“Wake up Tarin, you’re fine. It’s a dream…”

It didn’t matter if it was a dream…he’d had an idea what had happened, he thought he knew from what he’d woken up to in the park that night. Nothing he could have imagined could have prepared him for what he saw in their faces.

Flash. Flash. Flash. Flash.

A hand was shaking him though. Someone who was strong, stronger than him was shaking him to try and wake him from the nightmare.

Tarin’s eyes flew open and upright he shot in the bed. Sweat poured down his body and the t-shirt he still wore stuck to him in unpleasant ways. Air. He needed air. There just wasn’t enough air.

He could still see everything, hear everything, feel everything.

“Oh God…” he choked out, reaching for the person who had woke him. It was weird and probably awkward, and Tarin couldn’t help but think that Lee shouldn’t have to do this. But he just couldn’t care as he clung to her and sobbed. It was better than puking all over her sheets.

Lee had just managed to get the light switched on when she felt pressure against her hand. She moved it from Tarin’s shoulder quickly as he shot upright in the bed.

And his arms wrapped around her.

Lee closed her eyes and bit her lip as she pulled Tarin close to her, a hand rubbing up and down his back. “I know,” she whispered gently, her other hand holding his head to her shoulder as she heard and felt him crying. “Shh…shhh…You’re alright, Tarin…I’m not going anywhere…We’re both safe here…”

Lee continued to hold Tarin close, though not as tightly as he was clinging to her. And though the way his fingers were digging into her back hurt because of the bruises, she didn’t move as she tried to calm him down. She just sat there, her hand rubbing his back as she continued to murmur over and over.

It had probably been twenty years since Tarin had cried. It had probably been another ten years since another person had seen him cry. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had held him and whispered while he cried. It might have been his mother when his father had died. After that he didn’t know.

Tarin was babbling almost incoherently but the words didn’t matter. The more he talked, the more he held onto Lee, the more he managed to pull breath into his lungs, the more he was able to calm himself down.

Time started to return, and Tarin realized he was clinging to Lee, he was clinging to her tightly. Lee was rubbing Tarin’s back in slow circles and it felt so nice to have someone to cling to. So nice to have someone else to shoulder the burden of what he was going through. It was wrong, but Tarin didn’t care. Forcibly making his fingers loosen in Lee’s shirt, Tarin pulled back slightly.

“I’m…I’m sorry…” he said, pulling a hand back to run his fingers through his hair…wincing to find it wet and having to take a moment to convince himself that it was sweat and not blood that he found there.

“It was so…so real. I could feel my hands…but I couldn’t move” he said, sniffling slightly as he tried to bring his heart rate down, started pulling measured breaths into his lungs. He had to pull himself together.

“I never should have stayed here…”

Lee had ended up sitting on the edge of the bed as she let Tarin cling to her, her hand continuing to rub his back. Slowly, very slowly, Lee could hear Tarin’s breath coming more regularly, slowly moving toward being normal, the sobs that had been coming out when he first sat up ended.

Eventually, Lee felt Tarin’s hands, which had been tightly clutching her back, loosening and she let her arms fall to her sides as he pulled back. And apologized.

Lee was shaking her head even as he continued speaking. “I know,” she whispered when he explained what had happened in the nightmare. “I know you couldn’t. And I know the memories are horrible…But this is the reason I did everything I did to get you to stay here tonight…” Did Lee know exactly what Tarin had been dreaming his hands were doing? No, but she could guess, having been on the receiving end from that spirit twice, hearing some of the things it had wanted to do to her…And she’d had enough of her own nightmares from things she’d experienced herself.

“You may dream, you may remember what happened,” Lee continued in a whisper as she looked into Tarin’s green eyes. “But it wasn’t you who did it.”

This was why she had insisted he stay. A heads up might have been nice, he thought wryly for a moment before deciding that he likely wouldn’t have listened.

It was all still so fresh. Lee kept making good points, saying things that had to be true. That Tarin needed to be true. He dropped his head into his hands for a moment, squeezing his head as if he could physically push the memories out.

“I can’t handle that the last thing they saw was me…even if it wasn’t me”.

He knew what Lee meant, somewhere in the deep logic center of Tarin’s brain he knew that she was right. That it hadn’t been him. Those women hadn’t known that though, hadn’t been able to tell as he looked them in their eyes and squee….

“It’s so bad…”

Lee sat there in silence as she looked at Tarin trying to deal with the nightmare. “I understand,” she said softly. “I know better than most that difference between the body and the person…And I know it’s bad…I know…” She said, reaching her hand out, placing it on one of his. She knew because despite the years that had passed, she could still see Tarin’s brown eyes glaring at her in hatred and anger in their small kitchen.

Then she tried to give him a small smile, but it was hard at the moment. “You’ll get through this. I’ll be around to wake you up, alright Tarin?” As she finished speaking, she squeezed his hand. “Is there anything I can do?”

“Lee…” Tarin said, lifting his head to look at her, trying to figure out for the thousandth time why she was doing all of this. Now that the panic was fading, the trapped feeling from being able to see everything that was happening, but not be able to move his body, Tarin was quickly feeling better.

The images weren’t going to go away, not any time soon, but at least he was in control of his body again.

“This…” he said, gesturing at himself, at her, at the whole situation, “Is not sustainable…” he said, starting to pull his absolute shreds of dignity and consciousness together to articulate what he was trying to say without coming across as more of a jerk than he already surely was.

“How are you going to be around to wake me up?” It was a fair question. It wasn’t like she wasn’t ever going to need her room, it wasn’t like he was going to be able to continue staying here. Lee had a kid after all. A kid who would be home at some point in the next 24 hours if Tarin remembered correctly.

He shook his head and looked down.

Oh Jesus Christ, he wasn’t wearing any pants.

Maybe she wouldn’t notice.

Was this sustainable? Well, definitely less so than it had been after previous merges. But it was better than the alternative, right?

Giving his hand another quick squeeze before pulling hers away to sit in her lap now. “Fair, it is difficult for me to wake up in the middle of the night like that,” Lee said, knowing that is not what Tarin had been talking about. “But I’ve managed to do it in the past. And since my sister moved out last year, I’ve been meaning to get an extra bed to put in there.”

Lee let those words sink in for a moment as she looked at Tarin. And noticed, now that things had calmed down and he wasn’t clinging to her, that he was wearing an undershirt. Because he had taken the bag she’d packed him the night before back to the shop. And they’d come here after the Empire State Building. Meaning all he had was the clothing he had been wearing. Meaning…

Lee turned to look at her coffee maker that sat on her night table as she felt a slight flush covering her cheeks. She just hoped that the light from her lamp was dim enough he wouldn’t notice. “The next nightmare won’t be any easier…” she finally whispered.

Suddenly they were talking about the guest room, and how she’d been meaning to furnish it, and how the next dream wasn’t going to be any easier.

Tarin just blinked. Blinked again. Blinked a third time, because what the hell else was he supposed to do in the twilight zone of a conversation he was having? “Lee….Lee. You cannot be serious.” Tarin said, voice more exhausted than anything but still incredulous at what she was suggesting.

“Don’t get me wrong…what you’re offering is incredibly generous, but you cannot convince me that you want me here with your kid in residence.”

He had to be going crazy. Maybe he was still asleep and this was a dream within a dream and he’d wake up to find that he’d actually gone to sleep in the shop. He wasn’t in the bed of his other-dimensional version’s ex-wife with no pants on while she tried to convince him to stay in her guest room.

God was a vengeful god it turned out. Tarin didn’t miss the sudden change in Lee’s posture, the way she looked away.

Well. The good news was that things couldn’t possibly get much worse from here. Tarin closed his eyes, then opened them again quickly as his imagination took over for things he couldn’t see.

What was he going to do? The thought of seeing….that….every time he went to sleep was too overwhelming for Tarin to even think about right now.

“Hey…” he said, reaching out to try and gently turn her face towards his, eyes on eyes, “You don’t have to do this.”

He looked absolutely stunned by what her talk about the spare room had implied. And looking at the situation the way Tarin had just said it…yeah, maybe it was a little ridiculous and out there. Technically, they barely knew each other. Other than the initial run in after the rift closed, and then when Lee handed the shop over, they had really only met on Friday night. Barely more than 48 hours.

And Lee knew, she knew[/b] that Tarin would need help to get through this. She had had enough of her own nightmares about merges in the past, and those paled in comparison to what the memories of what the spirit had done were. But Tarin, this Tarin, had no one to help him through this. Even if he did, they would have no clue…

“It was never his powers that had me frightened to have Kevin in the city as a baby,” she said softly. Their powers had never even factored into that, Lee had been scared about what was outside the apartment at that time.

Lee had turned her siphoning back on while she’d been groping in the dark for her lamp and hadn’t thought about shutting it off again, so even though she couldn’t see Tarin’s hand reaching for her, she felt it before his fingers touched her chin. And though the pressure was very light, Lee let his hand turn her head to look at him. His green eyes actually looking directly into hers as she faced him

“I know I don’t have to, Tarin,” she said after a couple moments. “But if I wasn’t alright with it, if I wasn’t sure, I wouldn’t have offered. I wouldn’t have brought you here in the first place.”

“I know I don’t have to, Tarin, but if I wasn’t alright with it, if I wasn’t sure, I wouldn’t have offered. I wouldn’t have brought you here in the first place.”

Tarin dropped his hand, not wanting to make things any more uncomfortable than they already were.

“I guess…but..I don’t know.”

Was he actually considering this? Plenty of people in the history of the world had gone through trauma, had nightmares, and handled it on their own. They hadn’t needed to mess up someone’s perfectly good life just to make themselves feel better and more secure.

But…just because a person could do it alone, did that mean that they should? Was it the right call to try and shoulder a burden like this by himself when he had someone here, offering to help.

Lee had already shown over the last couple of days that she could be trusted. If she couldn’t, it would have been the cops showing up in the park instead of her. Lee had never questioned, for a second, what had happened that night. She’d been unwaveringly calm and collected as he spiralled out of control time and time again.

Was that something that you just walked away from because you knew it would be hard for them?

“How can you just be so…sure?”

Lee could see Tarin mentally arguing with himself over whether to continue letting her help him through this. With how he had clung to her for dear life when he first woke up, Lee knew it was going to be hard for him even with her support.

“How can I be so sure about what?” Lee asked when he left his question vague. “Sure about being able to help? Sure about having you here? About having you stay once Kevin is home? About whether I should help you?”

Lee gave him a small smile and shrugged her left shoulder before continuing quietly. “I've had a lot more time to think than most. Not just the last couple days. I've been through this before. A few times. Even if you think you can do this on your own, you shouldn't have to. And I can't exactly wake you up from the nightmares if you're not here. And like I said, it was never the powers that made me afraid to have Kevin here.

“Plus, what kind of lesson would I be teaching him if I was able to help someone and refused? The world will never get better if we don't teach them to be better.”