It was weird exposing himself like this standing behind the podium bearing his soul, what makes him tick and fighting back the tears he constantly had ready to fall. ”My name’s Sam...” some of the people knew who he was, what he was. It wasn’t his first time sharing, it wouldn’t be his last. Being here and sharing... It helped him with his thoughts, it was a positive outlet. Talking. He was just so bad at it. Being vulnerable.

”It’s been... three hours since my last drink. Two years of sobriety down the drain.” he said putting his chip on the podium, ”I saw them again.” some of the more seasoned members knew who he was talking about.

Some of them didn’t appreciate him sharing a story about people who weren’t real but others knew they were real to Sam. They were his reason for being here. He wanted to get better. To not fall down the slippery slope of depression and reliance on alcohol. He was supposed to be a force of good to make up for all the wrongs he did in the past. Doing it drunk full time... didn’t work.

”Ran into someone, call her a witch... ***** whatever you want to call her. She can replay things, memories. Desires. Whatever you want to call it.” he paused gripping the podium tying to find the right words. ”Made me connect with them again, thought I was over it but then here I am. Thinking about holding my daughters hand again, playing catch with my son. My wife... I know they aren’t real but it was a hell of a mind whammy.” he paused again.

”It’s just... hard.” he said sighing and stepping down from podium, some of the people nodded in silence while others gave him a sympathetic clap for sharing.

The podium was occupied by the one running the meeting, “Sam, thanks for sharing. I’ll hold onto the chip for you, I know you can work your way back to it. That’s why we’re here though isn’t it? To try and better ourselves and not dwell on the past. Anyone else want to share?” he asked looking out over the crowd as Sam took a seat with a thousand yard stare.

Rex clapped along with a couple of the other people as the man with the eyepatch returned to his seat. This was the fifth group he’d been to since starting down this journey. Admitting he had a problem had been the first step, but now he needed others to help him through the rest. The first groups had been recommended by his psychiatrist, and Rex had given them chances, but none of them had felt right to him.

This one…seemed a better fit. It was his fourth meeting, but the group’s membership was more apt for him. One of the previous groups had mostly consisted of college students who were trying to pull themselves together. Another was mostly comprised of single parents. The others just seemed…well…innocent. No, that wasn’t the word. They just had different reasons that led them to drink than he did. He didn’t feel like they understood him, or that he necessarily understood them.

This group? This group could understand. The man who just shared…a mutant had tortured him with ghosts from his past. With his wife and kids. Rex knew what it was like to be haunted.

“I’ll go,” Rex said, raising his hand when the speaker asked if any others wanted a chance. With the host’s nod, Rex made his way to the podium.

He cleared his throat gruffly and stiffly looked out at everyone. “Hi, my name is Rex.”

Over the next minute or so, he gave a short, abridged version of his journey to drink and where’d come since. He was proud of six months sober. He was ashamed he’d been trying to stop for almost a year. He still heard that cry for help and could see the bodies in the aftermath of that building’s fire. He still longed for that sweet oblivion of liquor. He felt the void in his life that the terrible cult had filled, however briefly. Now he was struggling to make sense of his life. Getting back into church, giving back to the community, spending all his time helping others so he doesn’t have time to get lost in himself…

It was a terrible speech. Rex wasn’t one to express his feelings. At all. He wasn’t much of a talker. He could order subordinates around and take command of a crisis easily, but be in the spotlight? He was notoriously tight-lipped even the rare times journalists tried to interview him about events. Even so, this was still a better summary than it had been a year ago. He didn’t go into excruciating detail about the bodies, for example. In no version did he mention magic, though. It was hard enough revealing so much of his vulnerabilities to the group of strangers - he wasn’t strong enough to discuss his damnation with them.

Rex returned to his seat, tunnel vision locked in on it, his heart pounding in his chest. He avoided all eye contact and retreated into himself, the only thing moving was one leg that couldn’t stop bouncing in pure nervous anxiety.

It was always a lot sharing all the information and emotions he was feeling, Sam didn’t like to do it. He knew it worked though. It helped to say things out loud in front of a group that didn’t judge him or interact with him everyday.

Sure Sam had people at the mansion he could talk to other than Gemma but he didn’t like being vulnerable to his teammates or friends. They had their own problems to deal with. The icemancer didn’t like weighing them down with his as well.

Rex was next. Sam had seen him before in meeting but wasn’t the type to welcome people. There were others to do that, this was a tense situation after all no matter how welcoming everyone seemed.

Listening was all he could do. He wasn’t to judge, or understand. Just listen, that was the process you listened to the burden others felt and then try to support them. Help them if possible. Listening was the most effective way Sam could help. At least right now. In the past Sam would have volunteered to be a sponsor or direct them to good ones. Again, Sam was in no position to do that.

The man suffered some loss, he wasn’t clear on the details but then again, most people weren’t. Sam was only clear on them because not talking about didn’t help so he figured it was time for something new. Sharing.

After Rex sat down a few more people went and then the meeting came to a close. The one leading them walked over to Rex and Sam looked down to his phone only to hear a few seconds later, “Sam, good hearing from you today. I’m glad you’re talking more. Have you met Rex he’s new to this meeting.” he gestured towards Rex and Sam offered a hand. ”Not yet.”

“I was thinking, despite your recent fumble that we could pair you two up. Sam you worked with firefighters before and have seen a lot more... intense situations that most of the other members here.” Sam raised an eyebrow and then looked from host of the meeting to Rex knowing where this was going. ”You want me to be his sponsor?” surprised by the implications “I want him to be yours too. You’ve done well up until now and I think a fresh perspective of how we do things might help remind you. If that is okay with you Rex.” the man said with a warm smile waiting for a response.

”Sure... Rex. Firefighter eh?” Sam asked scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. ”Sure, you’ve seen me before then. I’m kinda all over the city.”

Rex spent the rest of the meeting trying to calm down. He focused on his breathing and retreated into himself, away from his thoughts on whatever anyone might possibly be thinking about him. The meeting was mostly a blur to him. Between that and trying not to dwell on his memories, he had no attention left to give the other speakers.

He was startled when the host approached him afterward, asking him to follow him. Rex complied, albeit confused. Then as the man began talking to…Sam, was it?...understanding soon followed.

Rex accepted the handshake firmly and solidly with just the right amount of pressure. He nodded minutely in return and then mirrored the other man’s eyebrows as he too, looked back at the host. Paired sponsors? He wasn’t quite used to this method. Each of the groups had leniency in how they went about doing things though so maybe this was just this group’s style?

“Uh, sure,” Rex said a bit owlishly as he tried keeping up with the host’s line of thought. He could be a sponsor for Sam. Probably.

Then….Rex floundered.

“Yes,” he said as Sam confirmed his occupation. He grimaced. “Uh, no, can’t say you look familiar. Paramedic? Cop?” Rex looked the man over in assessment. Good physique, seemed to move well and with assurety. Combined with the host’s all-too-brief introduction, some kind of emergency services seemed in order. “It’s…Sam, right?”

Dios mío, ayúdame! Help me, Father!”

With the introductions of their names the leader of the group patted Sam on the back and smiled, “I think this is a good fit, I’m excited to hear how it goes.” before walking off to talk to a few other members. Sam nodded his head curious how to see how this went as well.

”Something like that.” Sam offered, ”First responder would be an adept description of what I do.” crime, fires and accidents, Sam stopped, snuffed or helped with all of the above but preferred not to claim any of those positions knowing he didn’t have the exact training. They specialized Sam was more of a jack of all trades in that regard.

”So.... put any fires out lately?” trying to find some small talk, their methods would have been different. Reaching into his pocket Sam fumbled for his card and offered it up to the man, ”You’d probably know me by my other name.” it was a code name most of the first responders knew him as, his call sign for the X-men. ”Prefer Sam though.” he wasn’t in mission so why would he be called it anywhere else. Even if he was trying to go by Rime now.

”I also own the “Iceberg” kinda a dive joint.” he said rambling off the location. It was popular with anyone in the line of duty, both sides of the line.

Just like that, it was just the two of them.

Rex frowned slightly. First responder was a category though, not an actual job. Rex was a first responder himself so what Sam did was a mystery.

The firefighter didn’t see a point in pushing, though. That was part of what these meetings were about - you opened up at your own pace, in your own timing. Rex could respect that. He erased his frown and nodded.

“No,” Rex said, a faint look of haunting entering his eyes. He stared off into the distance. It had been nearly a year since he had been active on his job. That was meant to be ending soon though. In that time, however, Rex had only started fires, or had been unable to do anything more than rescue a couple of people from them. This magic in his soul could only fan flames.

“I’ve been on sabbatical. For trauma and counseling,” he said. “Part of why I’m here.” The things he’d seen and done…

Rex took the card and frowned down at it before looking back up at Sam. Code name? What was he, some kind of agent? Then a nagging sense of familiarity dawned on him as he placed the address on the card. “Ah. One of the X-Men,” he said in flat tones. His feelings about that team were mixed at best. Yet there was one of them that had a position of no small amount of respect from the fire department.

Rex squinted as Sam mentioned his bar. That sounded familiar too. It was the last piece he needed. “Cold Steel?” he asked. That would make sense. “Think I’ve been to your bar. Must be hard to run one with…well…” He broke off and waved a hand loosely around him at the other people at the meeting. An alcoholic with a bar had to be its own source of torment indeed.

The response to his questions about fires was enough for Sam to know when he was touching on a sensitive subject, so he dropped it immediately and let the conversation continue into more public bits of information about him. Ones he’d happily share. They were after all the brighter points of his life. Deeds he actually chose to do instead of just following orders and being fed lies.

”Oh...” was all he could muster before forcing a smile, ”Well I’m glad you’re healing.” he was supposed to be the seasoned man of action here. He had been in the program longer. Rex wanted to change, that was why he was here. To grow. Sam would do what he could to help that and expected the same kindness in return. There was a lot of give and take here.

”Yeah...” there was a change in tone, one Sam would bring up later. If only to understand why it got the reaction it did. Again, give and take. There would be time to question him more later about his feelings for Sam’s team. His family.

”That would be me.” he said raising a hand and icing it over briefly before shaking the creation of frozen water on his hand. ”Prefer Sam when I’m not on duty.” he said realizing that as a responder, he was always on duty.

”Easier than you’d think, most of the employees have a ‘don’t serve’ policy with me and a few others here that head that way.” he said with a smirk, ”Sometimes, it’s difficult. More so when the real world kicks me around a bit.” no one could deny him a drink at his bar. Many had tried but when Sam wanted something he went for it. Which was why it was so important he still came to the meetings.

”Not only that but I’d loose money if I was drinking all the time.” he said shrugging. ”Mostly go there for the atmosphere reminds me when I was younger on the road more.” he said chuckling about his not so good past. You had to laugh. Other wise it was depressing as hell.

”Thanks for your service by the way. Takes a lot of guts to run into a building when it’s on fire and you can’t command ice.” he said offering his hand to shake it. Rex was a hero in Sam’s eye.

Great. It hadn’t been a minute and Rex had already neatly severed the throat of the conversation. He could tell Sam felt awkward, or at least Rex did, especially because he could tell Sam’s smile was fake. This is why he didn’t do small talk and why he avoided such interactions in the first place - he didn’t tend to make a sparkling first impression.

“Yes,” Rex agreed, latching onto Sam’s effort to end the awkwardness. “The healing is slow, but it’s there. Priest and shrink are helping me out a lot.” There were still many dark days, many tears in the night, but he was coming through each one of them stronger than the time before. Having a purpose to cling to helped, even if the purpose was just simply “help others.” It helped fill that hole in him with something positive and substantial.

The firefighter shifted his weight onto one leg. “Ah, makes sense,” he said politely. He still didn’t think it was a good idea to own a bar, but that wasn’t his cross to bear. Yet even he had to admit he wasn’t perfect. Neither was Sam. Rex knew that feeling all too well, in some of those dark days when he was just too weak and had relapsed. “Been there. It’s….really bad sometimes.” Again, that faint look of hauntedness.

“Thanks,” Rex grunted, accepting the handshake and giving it a few firm pumps. It always felt weird being called a hero for what he did. It wasn’t wrong, it just never felt right. Then again, Rex wasn’t one to handle compliments of any sort well. He frowned slightly and searched Sam’s expression for any trace of mockery or condescension, but he couldn't find any. Seemed to actually mean it.

As far as mutants went, the icemaker was on the better end of the scale. “You’ve done some good work yourself.” He knew several firefighters who owed their lives to the man, or had stories where the man had helped stabilize a building’s structure long enough to get everyone out, or a handful of other ways of helping.

It had been a while since Sam had seen a priest. The last one healed him from death and that was a few years ago. Maybe he should look into it again? Someone else to offer insight. Even if Sam wasn’t really a believer. Talking was supposed to help. His shrink however... well he had Gemma. That poor woman. ”One day at a time.” he said nodding his head best way to take it. Made it easier to not think about drinking. Every day was new and it was a fresh start. That was how Sam did it before.

”Often found myself trying to bargain with myself. ‘Did good today Sam, didn’t even think about it. You earned one drink.’” Sam shook his head, ”Had to end that pretty quickly though.” it wasn’t conducive to healing, to getting better and back to what he wanted to be his normal. ”That was before the program though.” he said nodding his head. Sam was glad he stayed with it all these years. It was easier to recover after fumbling.

”Lot to make up for.” he said releasing the handshake and placing the hand back at his side. ”Didn’t have the easiest life growing up. Made a lot of bad decisions along the way.” he said reflecting on his past, ”I’ve got a lot to make up for.” he said trying to down play the work he had done. He had no idea what the scales were tipped at now but knew he wanted to keep helping people. For all the things he had done.

”Got the power, might as well put it to good use.” Sam said finally before thumbing towards the door. ”You want to continue this awkward conversation over a cup of coffee? Place next door does a pretty good job.” he said not sure how to proceed. He felt like he needed to get to know his new sponsor better.

Sam did get it. Rex relaxed a smidgen as Sam gave a glimpse of his own inner thoughts. Rex had had a good feeling about this group, that they’d be a better fit for him. So far he had been right. The prior groups just made him feel like an outsider, like he was still alone with his woes, but this group? As other people had spoken before, and with Sam now, this was a group that could get him.

“I never bothered bargaining,” Rex admitted with no small amount of shame. “I just wanted whatever it took to drown out the pain. That’s what I did almost every single night until I just snapped.” Rex didn’t have years and years worth of experiences drinking, but he’d been doing his best to make up for them by cramming all of it into those long months, the months he couldn't remember well, until he saw them in his nightmares.

Rex nodded solemnly. So far Sam’s story wasn’t anything Rex hadn’t heard so many times before, but it was no less terrible for it. Many of the people Rex had been working with while on sabbatical had similar backgrounds, but few were able to gain any success in pulling themselves up by their bootstraps.

“If only more people thought like that,” Rex said in stoic musing. Regarding the talk about power or just self-determination, it didn’t matter. Both applied. How many mutants just wasted their power on sin and excess, doing nothing to help out their fellow man?

He forced a smile himself. “I absolutely do not want to continue this conversation,” Rex said quite bluntly. “But I think we need to. Coffee sounds good - I could use a drink right now.” His eyelid moved. Maybe it was a nerve misfiring and causing a random twitch. Maybe it was a wink. Maybe it didn’t even happen and you just thought you saw it. He slung on his jacket and made to follow Sam out.

The pain Rex described was all too familiar with the icemancer, any chance he got he’d avoid talking about it. This time was different though. This was part of the healing process for both of them. They made a commitment to be there so might as well put it all to work. ”Always comes back the next day.” he nodded his head in agreement. Sometimes it was accompanied by a hangover if he wasn’t still drunk.

”Seems we are in the same boat.” chuckling at his response. Sam didn’t want to talk about it either but knew it was good for them. The program did work, you just needed someone to have your back. Someone who understood everything they were struggling with. Pain, the need to forget. To distract.

”Non-alcoholic of course.” Sam added with a chuckle. It was a bad joke, but it was one he heard by some of the more seasoned members here and thought it was good at breaking the ice. Rex grabbed his jacket, Sam didn’t being one so waited for him at the door patting a few people on the shoulder as he went acknowledging that he saw them and that he was proud of them for continuing with meetings. A few did the same as they left the building.

”Been to many other groups?” Sam asked as he pushed opened the door at let the brisk cold air hit him as he walked down the steps. Making sure to clear any ice that formed on the steps. It was clear nothing had been salted yet which was odd given the time of year. His hand twitched casing a sheet of black ice to crack on the side walk.

”This one is probably my favorite, less aggressive people. More willing to help and listen.” he explained as he walked next door to a small coffee shop. The bell above the door rung as they entered. The baristas lit up when Sam entered. A few weeks ago he stopped a potential robbery here. None of them let him forget about it. One of the younger girls squeaked and waved as she notified the other two baristas. Sam raised a hand waving in return.

”Evening, Kelly. How you guys doing tonight?” he asked giving her a second to respond before adding, ”I’ll take the usual and whatever my friend Rex here wants.”

Rex nodded grimly as Sam carried on the next thought. “Yes, it always did,” he agreed. Nothing ever took that pain away, it just made him temporarily unable to feel anything. Anything besides guilt and shame, that is.

He forced a small smile at the man’s joke. It was difficult. Rex wasn’t sure what he was doing. He wasn’t going to let that stop him. He was used to doing hard, difficult things. His livelihood revolved around throwing himself into burning buildings, for Heaven’s sake. Being vulnerable, sharing his feelings? That couldn’t be as hard.

Right?

The firefighter followed the coldbringer out into the chill air. Rex stuffed his hands into his pockets and took a single look at Sam before grunting. Of course the man didn’t need a jacket. This probably felt like a summer’s day to him. Rex supposed that was one advantage to his job - it was great for keeping people warm.

Fortunately, it wasn’t far to the coffee shop. As the men entered, the warmth and the coffee smells infused him and he closed his eyes momentarily. It was nearly a mistake.

The last coffee shop Rex had been too, that man Raijin had tried forcing him into burning the place down, simply because it was owned by mutants. The memories of that encounter were scorch marks in Rex’s mind and he shuddered involuntarily. Phantom pain laced up his back from where the man’s sword had laid him open.

He mumbled part of a Hail Mary prayer and pulled himself together only when he was asked for his order. “Uh,” he said, quickly looking over the menu and then the face of the barista at the register. “Coffee. Black.” Nothing beat the basics and Rex needed something strong. This would have to do.

As the girl…Kelly?...drifted over to make their orders, Rex spoke in a low voice. The coffee shop was indeed not very populated, but Rex still didn’t want other people overhearing. It was bad enough he was saying anything out loud in the first place. “I’ve been to a few other groups,” he said with only a faint grimace. “A few meetings each. See how things went. One was like a book club, one was basically a golf club. None of them…felt right.”

He paused for a moment and chewed a lip. “This one does feel right, so far.”

The man shuddered, he didn’t know if he was cold or it was something else but he kept the information to himself. Sam was supposed to bond with the man. It was for trust so they could rely on each other when one of them was stumbling and they needed someone not to judge their decisions. Sam kept his eye forward. If it was important Rex would open up about it at a later time.

Rex took his coffee like Sam did. Good something else they could bond over. It made sense, you’d need a pick me up before running into a burning building.

Kelly walked off to grab the drinks and seemed almost bubbly as she poured them. Sam ignored it and focused on Rex who started talking about the other groups. They were paired up meaning the one who paired them could tell enough that they were similar.

”Yeah had to cycle through a few of them. Some of the meetings I went to weren’t the most supportive for anyone with abilities.” he said shaking his head, ”Even saved two of them before realizing we were all in the same meeting.” he shook his head, they were bigots. Sam didn’t' want to elaborate. They weren’t the best people and that was one of the many reasons he questioned his actions.

”More first responders, they’ve gone through a bit more of what we deal with.” he nodded his head as the coffees found their way to the counter along with a box of muffins. ”Kelly... I didn’t order this.” he said looking to the box and smirking. First time she had done it but the other two baristas waved to them, “I’d be a fool not to thank you properly, you saved our lives from that idiot who thought this place had a ton of money.”

There was a moment where Sam was about to refuse, he wasn’t really a muffin kind of guy but knew if Rex didn’t want them someone at the mansion would. ”It wasn’t that big of a deal. But okay.” he didn’t want to argue and when Kelly walked away Sam took it as he didn’t have to pay for anything either. Which to him was just silly so he reached into his wallet and overpaid for everything in the form of a tip. Placing it in the jar Sam handed Rex his coffee and then grabbed the box of muffins and his drink. ”Grab a seat or you prefer to walk around?”

Once again, there was a commonality between the men. Rex shot a furtive glance at Sam as he mentioned people with problems with abilities. Heat briefly rose in Rex’s cheeks in a small surge of shame. He was one of those people - both sides, actually. A person with abilities and one who had problems with other people with abilities. He stifled the expression - there was no way Sam could be referencing Rex, could he? Nobody could know about the Welldrinkers or Rex’s dabblings with them.

“They don’t always understand that abilities can be their own cross to bear,” Rex said, devoid of inflection. It was something that Rex was learning on a far more intimate level nowadays. Before, he had decried mutants for the damage they caused, for the lives they took. Now he was something far worse than a mutant, and his magic the exact thing he’d deplored in others.

Rex took his coffee stiffly. “Thank you,”he said with a sharp nod at Kelly and then Sam. There seemed to be some interplay between Sam and the baristas, apparently over muffins, but Rex didn’t intrude. As it was, his own thoughts were enough to continuously drag him into internal gloom. He one-handedly withdrew a few bills from his own wallet and added them to the tip jar before surveying the coffee shop again.

“Why don’t we take this outside?” he said. “I could use some fresh air.” He liked the warmth. He liked the quiet nature of the place. He didn’t like the haunted feeling he got from being inside of it. His grip tightened on his cup and he quickly took a sip, ignoring the scalding touch on his tongue. This was his version of being antsy. He made his way back to the door.

The icemancer nodded debating internally if he wanted to start off by sharing his own problems when he was a kid. Maybe not all of them but enough for the guy to get an understanding that his cross was pretty hefty as well.

”You got it.” Sam said sipping his drink as well but using his powers a bit to prevent scalding his tongue from the hot liquid. Sam grabbed the muffins and trailed out after him. ”See you next time, thanks again!” he called out so all the baristas heard him. They returned with a wave and Sam exited the door.

They weren’t in meeting anymore so they didn’t have to share but it was important for Sam to build a trusting relationship with his new buddy. ”So Rex.” Sam said clearing his throat and looking around trying not to make this any less awkward for a ‘forced’ interaction.

”What do you do for fun?” he asked curiously. ”Hobbies, interests? Stuff to keep your mind occupied?” he asked sipping, ”I found it’s easier to not turn to the bottle if you’re constantly busy.”