Rowan clearly did not want to talk about the Danger Room sessions; Gemma could sense a lot of tension in him, and she wondered where it came from. Was he worried about his powers?

>>"Yeah well...gym class is fun, and you get to play dodgeball and stuff. My trip to the Danger Room sucked, I tried to bite Mr. Johnson's head off."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, Mr. Johnson has seen a lot worse in those sessions." she noted. Sam knew how to handle a simulation, and not much could surprise him in terms of dangerous powers. Besides, his head had not been bitten off. As far as she knew.

>>"I'll do the Danger Room trips, I don't have a choice, but it's just gonna waste Mr. Johnson's time."

"It's never a waste of time." Gemma told him "I know it can feel like it's impossible to control a power... but trust me, I have seen a lot of students here over the years. Mr. Johnson knows what he is doing."

The shifter sighed. Yeah, Mr. Johnson had told him something similar, that if he at least tried then it wouldn't be a waste of time.

Rowan scratched nervously at his hands. It was so rare that he got to talk about his mutation, without fear of shifting. Instinctively he leaned a little closer to Gemma, as if fearful he would accidentally leave her aura.

"I had...I had been doing so well. I kept my powers suppressed for years. But then this most recent time happened, right before I got sent here, and...and I just couldn't hold it in anymore..."

He stopped, taking a shuttery breath. He looked down at his schedule, resting on his lap, and let out a nervous laugh.

"Oh yeah...I was just here for a schedule...you've probably got other meetings."

>>"I had...I had been doing so well. I kept my powers suppressed for years. But then this most recent time happened, right before I got sent here, and...and I just couldn't hold it in anymore..."

Gemma nodded and listened. Most people did not like to talk about the times when their mutations slipped, even if they got away relatively safely. Rowan didn't. His powers were potentially dangerous, and he, like almost everyone like him at first, thought that firm suppression was the only way to deal with his abilities. Sam would have some hard work ahead of him, teaching a different way.

>>"Oh yeah...I was just here for a schedule...you've probably got other meetings."

"Not for a while, no. And you haven't finished your hot chocolate yet." she noted with a small smile. "I'm also here to just talk. Or listen. I might not be good for power training, but you can always just tell me about it..."

The corners of Rowan's mouth twitched slightly, almost a smile. She was right, he hadn't finished his hot chocolate. And it would be a shame to waste it. Rowan brought the cup up to his mouth enjoying the smell a moment before taking a sip. It was still warm.

He could just...talk? Rowan took a nervous glance around the room. He didn't see any cameras or microphones...and Ms. Taylor hadn't been writing anything down. He just...didn't want to be psycho-analyzed later.

All those years of adults nervously whispering about mutations, and the news segments on TV about the destruction they cause, and the boys at his school calling each other 'mutants' as an insult...but now he could just...talk about it?

"I guess...I'm still not used to talking about it...I've had my powers for years but I didn't know I was a mutant until...recently..."

Rowan nervously picked at his hands again.

"After the...uh..." He paused a moment, maybe a moment longer then he would have liked to. "After my...first shift...I don't really remember it...but I felt different...but I just figured I was having like...psychosis or something..."

He took a sip of his hot chocolate, his hands shaking slightly.

"But...then I shifted last month...and it was obvious then...I...I still don't know if it was a good thing or not...I mean...I ended up here I guess..."

>>"I guess...I'm still not used to talking about it...I've had my powers for years but I didn't know I was a mutant until...recently..."

Gemma nodded, sitting back. This was the time to let the boy talk. Dealing with emerging mutations was always difficult at first, tand talking about it was even harder.

>>"After the...uh... After my...first shift...I don't really remember it...but I felt different...but I just figured I was having like...psychosis or something..."

Gemma nodded again. Some mutations manifested more intensely than others. But someone who did not know how mutants actually worked could find other explanations more believable. Even if they were worse.

>>"But...then I shifted last month...and it was obvious then...I...I still don't know if it was a good thing or not...I mean...I ended up here I guess..."

"Some things can be both band and good" Gemma noted gently "It is a good thing you are here know. And figure out how your powers work, exactly." she paused "Some people will tell you to look on the bright side and focus on the positive. Which is important. But none of that works if you don't also allow yourself to talk... or think... about everything else that goes with it."

Rowan was still surprised by how much the woman let him talk. He had, in his many schools, become used to counselor's cutting him off after a bit. Usually with unhelpful advice about unrelated topics, like his poor diet or sleeping schedule causing his anger issues. And at worse it was with suggestions for new medications he should take.

So when Gemma let him finish his thoughts, and then began to speak herself, Rowan found himself actually listening to her. Not just silently nodding in hopes of getting the conversation over faster.

>> "Some people will tell you to look on the bright side and focus on the positive. Which is important. But none of that works if you don't also allow yourself to talk... or think... about everything else that goes with it."

Rowan was quiet a moment, frowning into his cup of hot coco. After a moment he spoke again, slowly, like he was trying to find the correct words.

"I...I think for me it's...the opposite? There really isn't a 'bright side' to my mutation...so I only have bad things to focus on..."

He huffs slightly, keeping his gaze on the floor.

"I mean...I'm not gonna be an X-men, saving people and junk. Cause my mutation is bad and scary."

Rowan paused again. He occasionally opened his mouth to speak, but was having a hard time articulating how he was feeling. Luckily, Gemma wasn't rushing him.

"It just...sucks. I...I know it sounds stupid to say, cause I'm just a kid or whatever, but I was finally...figuring things out? I was doing better in school, I swore off fighting, I was..."

He stopped speaking suddenly. His prickly and distrustful self preventing him from opening up about that. He sighs.

"I just...feel like I'm back at square one, or whatever..."

>>"I...I think for me it's...the opposite? There really isn't a 'bright side' to my mutation...so I only have bad things to focus on... I mean...I'm not gonna be an X-men, saving people and junk. Cause my mutation is bad and scary."

A kid did not have to have an actual mutation to talk about themselves like that. Gemma heard things like that over and over again. Bad, scary, worthless. The world reflected a distorted image at many young people, and they had no choice but to believe it. And when the mutant powers line up with that... it was a tough hand to be dealt. Gemma waited for him to talk more.

>>"It just...sucks. I...I know it sounds stupid to say, cause I'm just a kid or whatever, but I was finally...figuring things out? I was doing better in school, I swore off fighting, I was... I just...feel like I'm back at square one, or whatever..."

"It does suck." Gemma noted gently. It did suck. "And you might be back further than you were, but it's not square one. Because now you know things about your powers that you did not know before. ANd you have us to help you." she added with a smile. "But still, we can agree that many things probably suck right now. Would you... like to tell me a little more about your powers?"

Rowan had to admit, it was kinda funny hearing an adult say 'sucks'. The rest of what Ms. Taylor said was frustrating to Rowan. Knowing things about his powers really didn't feel like a 'win'. It was much easier when he thought his violent urges were due to mental health struggles. And he still wasn't convinced that 'training' was gonna help. Using his powers over and over, that would just make it 'normal' when it wasn't.

>> Would you... like to tell me a little more about your powers?

This made Rowan tense up, brow furrowing.

"You and the rest of this school already know about my powers! What good is talking about them?"

He snapped, his tone aggressive. He almost immediately regretted responding in such a hostile way, blushing slightly in shame and annoyance. Rowan kept his gaze on the ground. After a moment he tried again, his voice far softer.

"I...uh...shift?" Mutant terminology was still strange to him. "I shift into an awful, mean, wolf...thing. And it makes me violent and angry."

He sighed slightly.

"I've shifted three times. And once was the other day during my Danger Room session. I only shift when...I'm really scared...I guess..."

>>"You and the rest of this school already know about my powers! What good is talking about them?"

Gemma could feel the tension as Rowan snapped at her, and then see it in his face as he instantly regretted it. It was normal. Everyone talking about his powers did not mean that he ever got to talk about them too, especially in the way he needed. She waited for him to decide if he'd go on.

>>"I...uh...shift? I shift into an awful, mean, wolf...thing. And it makes me violent and angry."

Gemma nodded, making some mental notes. Choice of words was important, she would have to remember that. But this was the time to listen, not respond.

>>"I've shifted three times. And once was the other day during my Danger Room session. I only shift when...I'm really scared...I guess..."

"I see" she nodded. Protective mutations usually manifested that way. This kid turned into a big bad wolf when he was scared. That was probably not a coincidence. "So, all the other times you shifted... you were scared of something?"

>> "So, all the other times you shifted... you were scared of something?"

Rowan shrugged, still not looking at Gemma, wrapping his arms around his chest defensively. He frowned, eyebrows furrowed.

"Yeah...I guess...Like, scared...or uh...threatened..."

He fumbled through that sentence, badly. Rowan fidgeted a moment, picking at his hands.

"The...uhm...first time was awhile ago...like five years? And my second was last month...and now I'm here..."

Gemma waited patiently as Rowan stumbled through the words. It was probably not easy to put words to his feelings, or explain what it felt like to turn into what he thought of as a monster.

>>"Yeah...I guess...Like, scared...or uh...threatened... The...uhm...first time was awhile ago...like five years? And my second was last month...and now I'm here..."

"It's okay. What you are saying makes sense, in a way." Gemma nodded "I am thinking, maybe your... shifted form, it's a defense mechanism. It's trying to protect you when you feel threatened. Now, it's not really going about it in a good way... But it is not born from cruelty. That's an important difference. What do you think?"

Not...born from cruelty?

Rowan sat silently chewing on this thought. He had never thought about it like that, and he wasn't sure that he liked thinking about it. Sure, maybe his more monstrous form was just trying to protect him but, as Ms Taylor said, it was going about this 'protection' in a horribly aggressive way. If it really wanted to protect him why does it not just run away? Or curl into a ball?

Attacking back with far more violence than received...is that really protection?

The young shifter was still silent, but struggling to keep the troubled look off his face. He continued to pick at his hands, a nervous habit. Rowan swallowed, heavy, and tried to respond.

"I...I dunno...I guess it protects me...in a way. But...it feels more like...venting emotions or...vengeance? Against people who hurt me? I don't know..."

His eyes never left the floor, his posture still curled slightly.

>>"I...I dunno...I guess it protects me...in a way. But...it feels more like...venting emotions or...vengeance? Against people who hurt me? I don't know..."

"All of those things could be true at the same time" Gemma nodded. "It sounds like maybe your shifted form is tied to your emotions, and emotions are complex things. People struggle with them under the best circumstances."

It was no reason to pretend they didn't. Or that she didn't. Gemma was still coming back from the experience of Jorge de-aging for several months. She knew how to deal with it, but she still had to do the work. And that was nowhere near as complicated as a kid with a tough background with a dangerous mutation.

"So... this is something I can help you with a little. The safer, and more comfortable you feel, the more it is going to affect your powers as well, I think. I'll have to work with Sam on this, but in the meantime, making you feel more at home can't be wrong, right? she gave Rowan a smile.

Gemma responded to Rowan's theories, the boy taking the last few sips of his coco and setting the empty cup down on a table. Rowan huffed. Great. Now he had to go to counseling and Danger Room sessions, that's what he got for opening up about his feelings.

He make a slight grimace at Sam's name. It wasn't like he didn't...respect the teacher. He was...fine but he always smelled like coffee. Rowan just really didn't want to go back to the Danger Room. He was sore enough, and emotionally drained enough, from just the one session.

Gemma then struck a sore spot with Rowan.

This place wasn't a home. It was never gonna feel like a home. It was a school, just like any other school that had gotten stuck with him. He was sure in a month he'd do something bad and be shipped away somewhere worse. That's how it went. There was hardly even a reason to unpack his things.

Rowan sat in this grumpy feelings for a moment. And since he was a troubled teenager he assumed Ms. Taylor wouldn't understand. He didn't return the smile, still crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yeah...I guess..."

The shifter grumbled, sourly.

Sometimes, teenagers who had been through a lot were still teenagers. Rowan was also entitled to being grumpy sometimes. Gemma knew that this session had already been a lot on him for a first meeting, especially since it was not supposed to be a session at all.

"I... don't think I phrased that correctly" she admitted with a small smile "I'm not talking about counseling. I mean, you can visit me any time you want to, but talking to me is not really gonna do any good on its own. For now, I'm just talking about practical things. Like... what kind of food you'd like us to stock in the kitchen. Believe me, we have a pretty flexible budget for food."