She had been enjoying her night for once. She'd met a cutie at a bar and bumped uglies in the men's restroom, which had been fun, and after ditching that rube as quickly as possible she'd stumbled across a little street cart selling ice cream. Feeling fulfilled and enjoying the buzz she still had going on, she'd started a slow canter homeward. 

It would of course be just her luck to run into two @#$&'s cornering a little girl in the middle of the night. Why was she out at this hour in a Lolita dress? That was waaaay to cliche. 

After stopping and licking her ice cream cone one more time, while silently screaming to the heavens about how she kept stumbling into situations that took a lot of her choice out of the matter, Juniper sighed through her nose and picked up her pace again.

"You'd better hand over anything of value you've got on you, little girl!" One goon was growling, holding a pretty nasty looking knife out in front of him at the girl.

The other snickered, also holding a knife, but it was worth noting his seemed to be exaggeratedly bigger than the other ones. "Yeah, wouldn't want to get blood on they pretty dress of your's, right?" He elbowed his buddy in jest. They shared a laugh. 

Juniper wondered if they were perhaps trying to compensate for something. 

Her ice-cream, with cone still attached, landed with a nice wet smack directly in the side goon number 1's head. Startled, he turned to spot her standing there, hands in the pockets of her slightly-to-large varsity jacket, from a college she'd never been too.

"Sup." She grinned slightly at them, as goon number 2 turned to look as well.

Goon number 1's face and neck turned an interesting mix of red and purple as he smacked the cold treat off of him and tried to scrape as much off as possible. 

"The @#$% do you think you're doing?!"  Oh look, now both knives were pointed in her direction. How cute.

"What, you don't like ice-cream? Lactose intolerant?" She edged in a bit closer, so she could lunge for the girl if need be and phase her out of harms way.

Where the @#$^ was that ice cream vendor?! She'd been looking for that asshole for an HOUR now! She had a coupon for free Ice Cream, and she was currently poor and NEEDED A @#$%ING FIX. Momma wanted some creamy goodness, Goddammit, because life was hard and the answer was calo-fuckin-ries. At least she had a job prospect now. Her mansion was still getting paid for, but her own spending money had been cut off, that meant coupons were gold IF you could find the cart they belonged to.

She sighed as she turned into a dark alley to head toward 3rd, the last place she hadn't checked in this entire square mile of the city. What? It wasn't like she got sore feet. Half way through the dark alley she spotted the cart, and her doll eyes widened with hopeful joy. The expression flattened, however, when two dumb @#$%s with ugly mugs and sharp knives walked out of the darkness. One had a little knife, and a big nose. The other had a giant knife and a nose that was just a little too small. That was interesting. 

She stared blankly at them as they approached. Maybe. Just maybe. If she stared blankly for long enough they would leave? She didn't need to blink, so... That could be unnerving. Honestly, it wasn't like she was concerned. What were they going to do, stab her to death? Good luck with that one. She sniffled and stared, blinking in surprise as big nose was hit by something wet.

Oh, Ice Cream! Wait.

A girl was walking up. L's eyes widened. Oh no. Someone was going to try and save her. Jesus, what was with this #@$in city?! Couldn't people leave well enough alone? Worse, this girl looked... Normal. Maybe a bit basic. Like she liked Pumkin spice lattes during fall, and peppermint mochas during winter kinda basic. Eyebrows were on fleek, though.

ANYWAY, she was putting herself in danger for the wrooooong reasons, so as the man chimed in with a "The @#$% do you think you're doing?!" She found herself mirroring the sentiment.

"Hey, look, I get it, being a good Samaritan and all, but these guys could be dangerous, sweety, are you sure you should be making them mad?" Kids these days.

Those fleeky eyebrows rose damn near into her hairline as her attention shifted to the kid. What had she just said?

"Um... i'm pretty sure the knives were an obvious sign of there being some danger." Her eyes flicked back to the two meatheads, who were blinking back and forth between the two girls. "Though i'd say it's questionable if their handlers know how to use them."

"Oi!"

She ignored the furious outcry, instead squiggling on past the goons so that she was firmly in front of the girl in the ally.

"And i'm bigger, so I think that means i'm supposed to protect you, or whatever. So, you just stay back there and i'll handle these troglodytes."

"The hell did she just call us?!" Goon 1 waved his knife around threateningly. Juniper seemed less than impressed.

Goon 2 was scratching his head and shrugging. "I dunno, s'that some kind of computer part??"

Juniper turned her attention back to the girl, back facing the men with knives.

"You should probably take this time to run? Like... scamper away?"

Her fists clenched as the woman gave her some lip in response to the danger statement. "Well, Obviously, but I figured I might spell it out in case you were slow."

The woman stated that the men might not know how to use knives, and, no shit, one of them exclaimed very britishly. Oi? Who that @#$% said oi on this side of the pond? Wait, was this girl... yes she was. She was scooting PAST the muggers to get in front of her. L clenched her teeth, gloved hands rocking a bit as her arms locked. 

Bigger?! What the @#$% did that have to do with anything. 

She stood in front of the smaller girl, who was turning red with rage at this point. What. an. Ass.

I mean, yeah, it being in front of her, it was worthy of jealousy, but no! Her! She was the booty! Ass. She was the ass.

"Ahem." She reached a gloved hand up to touch an elbow that wasn't honestly too much higher than her own, and walked around the woman daintily. "Mrs. I don't think you understand. You could honestly get hurt here. I think you should be the one running. We wouldn't want you to get a scratch on that pretty face, right?" She patted the elbow condescendingly as the men looked at each other again.

This was weird, right? Were the fighting over who was going to get mugged?

The fact that there was an elbow to touch at all spelled out how useless she thought this kid was. Juniper was honestly baffled when she tried to plow her way forward, in front of Juniper, who was playing the unwilling hero.

Junipers face turned a little red and her skirted back around in front, hands on her hips and back pretty dang close to the guys with the knives.

Surprisingly, they edged away a bit.

"No no no, I don't think you understand, kid. You have many more years ahead of you until you should be worrying about playing hero. I'm clearly more suited for taking care of this. I can't stand by and let a little girl get hurt on my watch."

.... @#$%, she was starting to sound like Xavier.

She turned her back on the girl in order to face the men and made a shooing motion with her hands.

"Shoo! Go on, git! Bugger off!"

The men, who were sweating slightly and wondering if this was really worth the... weirdness, grew incensed again.

"@#$%&$, hand over your wallet! You probably have more money on you that a brat, anyway!"

Goon 1 waved his knife in the general vicinity of her face. Juniper tried to reach back with a foot and physically scoot the girl away with her shoe.

They were, what, playing leap frog, now? What the @#$^ was even happening here?! This was too much. 

Then the word came out. The K word.

"Kid?!" Jesus was steam coming out of her ears? "Don't call me that again, you hag! I am NOT in danger. You, however, are going to get yourself mugged if you don't. Just. GO!"

Nope. See, they were mugging her now. 

She stepped around again, waving away big nose as he waved his knife, which may have connected with her a little. She ignored it, and turned her back on him, putting a finger in Juniper's face. "Now you LISTEN! I will not have you treating me like a child, ESPECIALLY in this sort of situation! Now you've just earned it at this point. Give the mean man your wallet and run off to safety, THOT!" That Hero Over There  

Was.... was a little girl scolding her for trying to protect her? What the hell? This was certainly a first, and juniper was growing more and more confused by the second.

Also, more and more defensive.

A small blonde girl was pointing a finger in her face, yelling at her about being treated as a child when she very clearly was one.

Junipers eyes shifted from the angry kid, to the man closest to her, who was blinking rapidly at his knife like it had done a magic trick. She calmly reached over the girls head and plucked the knife from his grip before her could try and jerk it back, phasing the handle of the blade right through his fingers.

She tossed the weapon over her shoulder, where it clattered into the alley behind her loudly.

"Okay, time out. What the hell is going on here?" She locked eyes with the girl again, "If you aren't a kid, what are you?"

The now knife-less goon stumbled a little ways away, gaping at his empty hand where the knife had once sat. How?! He'd had a good grip on it! He hadn't even felt her yank it away!

"This is getting @#$%in' weird, I think we should bail!"

The other goon scoffed, but there was sweat beading up on his forehead. He had the bigger knife of the two, so clearly he couldn't back down from a fight against two tiny girls... right?

He moved in to try and get an arm around the young looking blonde, thinking to use her as a hostage in order to get the older one to back down.

Juniper was focused on being called a THOT in an entirely different way, blinking stupidly at the girl. "I will not run off to safety until you run off first! You are in entirely more danger than I am!"

L's face turned beet red when the woman took the knife from the man somehow, and tossed it over her shoulder. With a huff, she marched past the woman and down the alley, grabbing up the knife by the blade, and marching back, stomping her feet as much as possible.

The litter girl then shoved the handle of the blade into the man who was down a knife, and turned back to the other woman. "Look. WE," the we being her, and the two men, "Have this handled, okay? That's what's going on here." 

This was silly, right? Like, a little too silly. Clearly, this woman had something about her that would stop her from being in danger, hence grabbing the knife right from the bumbling man. L, obviously, wasn't in any danger as well. There was no reason to argue anymore!


But... Well... It was the PRINCIPAL of the situation, right? This woman needed to know that she, and her fellow goodie two shoes types, needed to mind their own business sometimes!


And then the small nose grabbed her. Uh oh, her only weakness! Grappling! She frowned and looked back at him, and then back at herothot. "I'm perfectly safe. I. Am. Perfectly. Safe."  

She was safe. I mean, sure, he had control of her, but what was he gonna do? Nothing could harm her. At all. "You know, though, It's totally your fault I'm a hostage now. I was too busy arguing with you. Thanks."

Juniper and both muggers were both equally confused when the blonde went to retrieve the knife, and then give it back to one of the guys.

She was getting a little fed up with the theatrics of it all, by that point.

But NO. NO NO, It wasn't over yet! The little brat had to go and get herself held hostage, and then blamed Juniper for it.

Her face matched the girls in sheer redness in an instant. "My Fault?!"

She took a stomping step forward. "It's not MY FAULT you are a prideful idiot who doesn't know when to run when someone says to!" She ignored the knives, the grip he had on the girl, or the fact that big nose had edged slightly behind small nose out of fear. She phased her arms and reached out and shoved the guy, phasing him along with her just long enough that when he stumbled back into his partner they fused slightly as she pulled her power back.

When they realized they they were stuck together via one should to one back, they two grown men started screaming like wee school girls instantly.

Small nose let go of the blond in favor of stumbling around while he and big nose tried and failed to separate themselves.

"What the hell is your problem!? Do you go out @#$%ing looking for trouble to throw yourself into so you can try and prove something!"

Jesus, she hadn't felt this angry in a long, long time.... Probably not since her Uncle had gotten arrested and her parents hadn't even bothered to call her.

Okay, so she was a hostage, sure. She could concede to that. I mean, the guy was holding her, and she wasn't strong enough to stop him. So sure, hostage.

"One hundred percent, and completely your fault." She smiled smugly as she noticed that she'd gotten under this girl's skin in a big way. "We'll you're a stubborn cow who can't mind her own business so that makes us pretty even!"

She froze in place, however, when the woman lurched forward suddenly, and went through them, shoving the man back, and into the other guy. No, really... INTO him. She looked back and stared in silence, eyes juuust a little bit wide at that.

They were... struck together. "Woah..." The woman was yelling at her, now, and she barely perceived the statement.

"Uh... Couldn't I ask you that?" She walked over to the two guys, prodding at them as they tried to sort themselves out.

"Wow... what'd you do?" She seemed disarmed and far less prickly. Fascinated, even.

Well @#$%, the brat had her there. Though she wasn't trying to prove herself necessarily, she still found herself in situations like this much too often. She wasn't about to concede the point to that demon over there, though.

"Yeah, sure, and the next time I come across two full grown men cornering a girl in an alley i'll just @#%&ing walk the other way and mind my own business. Can't see how that could possibly go wrong."

...Oh... oh shit, was that why this bothered her so much?

She shoved those thoughts away for another time as she watched the girl seemed to take an interest in the two muggers who were growing increasingly more panicked.

"When I phase things through other things and leave them there, they, like... fuse together until I phase them back out." Jesus, she was still pissed, but the whole thing was already winding down. The guys couldn't hurt either of them, apparently.

...Did that technically mean they were the ones harassing the guys now?

"Please! Please, I have a wife and kids at home! Let us go!" Big nose's nose was running. It was all snotty and gross. Little nose didn't look much better.

"Me too! I've got five kids!" Big nose tried to push him back out of the way. "i've got seven!"

Juniper sighed. Her head tipped back for a bit as she stared straight up at the night sky.

"No."

"WHAT!? WHY!?"

"Please!!"

"Jesus, i'm out of here." She turned on her heel, heading off in the same direction she had been going before this whole things started. Big and little nose had no choice but to follow, still sniffling and pleading desperately for her to separate them again.

L paused and smiled again at her explanation. "Why not? Most people do." Not this goodie two shoes, though. Did she seemed offended that the thought that she was a wanna be hero, and not an asshole? Odd.

You know, getting a rise outa this chick really satisfied her. It sorta made her forget she was mad in the first place. She listened, half interested at the explanation of her powers, before snagging a knife from one of the panicking men and poking herself in the eyeball with it sever times as hard as she could. "I'm invulnerable. I was seriously in no danger. I meant it." She spoke coyly, smirking as the girl freaked out a little bit, and walked off.

Moments later she would hear a little voice next to her. "So, you gonna split them? It's a little sad at this point... Though they did earn it." The little Lolita was walking next to her. "That's a pretty neat power you have there. You a hero or something?" She rubbed her nose on a little hanky before neatly depositing it into her purse.

Juniper shirked away from the girl, full on scowling at the little invulnerable brat as she tagged along. She cast a glower back at the two weeping, overly dramatic men tagging along on her other side.

"No! Get used to pi%@ing and sh$%ing together for the foreseeable future you jackasses."

"Please! We'll change out ways, we swear!" One pleaded. The other nodded vigorously, "I'll become a... a... pogo stick instructor!"

If she rolled her eyes back any further she'd get to see what the inside of her head looked like.

Was she a hero? "Jesus, no." She visibly cringed. "Would a hero do that to two idiots and leave them like that?" She pointed a thumb at the guys over her shoulder, who fake cried louder in response.

God, the city really was in bad shape when everyone who tried to do the right thing was automatically labeled a hero by the general populace.

"Trust me, if you didn't look like a little girl I would have left you alone to deal with them on your own." A lie, but @#$% if Blondie was able to prove otherwise.

"Don't you have a heart!?" One goon cried, seemingly outraged that she wouldn't have stepped into help if it had been a grown woman. "Yeah, how cold can ya get!"

"Do you two want me to leave you stuck in a wall next? Why the hell are you still following me!?"

She made the mistake of stopping, and they feel at her feet awkwardly to clutch at her jeans and beg.

Ugh.

What would a hero do?

... Xavier would probably frown at her and cross his arms, and say something about it being cruel to leave them like that.

"...FINE." With a huff, she reached out and separated the two of them. "If you so much as ever pick up a knife again and I catch you i'll merge you with a sofa next time, you hear me!?"

They ignored her completely as the two of them beat a hasty retreat into the night.

"...@#$%ing Adonis and his stupid frown."

Amused, but quickly getting annoyed at the presence of the combined oafs, L continued to tag along through their little exchange. Some time mid-way through, the eternal youth looked away in thought and tapped her chin a few times. Huh.

Maybe this hero could be useful?

The two men ran off, and L couldn't help but give the woman's performance a slow clap. "Wow. That was. Wow. I gotta say, I pegged you for a @#$%head, but I like your style, honestly." She paused for a second, and looked around as they came out of the alley.

"Hey, you like doing good deeds, right? What If I said you could help me with something, and do a good deed both at the same time?" She paused for a second, and then added in. "And you could earn some money on the side, too, if that helps." 

The little girl still had the smaller knife, and was digging underneath her finger nails with it, cleaning them without regard to its sharpness. 

She looked progressively more and more disgusted with the idea of doing anything further that night that could be considered a 'good deed'... until the Blonde mentioned money.

Money was always good, because it meant she didn't need to rob another bank anytime soon and that meant she didn't have to worry about moving yet.

"...I'm listening." She finally replied, stepping off to the side of the street and fishing around in her pockets for the half empty pack of smokes she had bummed off that guy in the bar. She found it, pulled one out and lit it up and she leaned against the brick wall behind her, fiddling with the little smoldering stick as she listened and waited.

She could always say so and ditch her again anyway. Blondie couldn't walk through walls like she could, so losing her would be a cake walk if she really needed too.

"I'm really not a hero, though. Sure, I end up doing something like this every now and then because I walk into a situation on accident, but i'm not one of those cape wearing types who go out to purposefully save the day. I won't do anything that will put my face in the news, and I am certainly not equipped to like, save a bunch of orphans from a burning building or anything."

She exhaled smoke up into the chilly night air above her, purposefully avoiding sending any in the girls direction.

She might not have been a hero, but she certainly wasn't a dick.