She opted for the tutorial. As she weighed her options, he stared at her butt. Wow, these kinda games weren't big on realism when they came to women's armor were they? She was showing a lot of skin.

Still, it was strange staring at a green girl, again. He looked away for a moment. She was not Andrea, she was just green right now. Also, smaller, and way less infuriating and saddening to think about.

Time to distract yourself, Saph.

"LEEEEROOOOYYYYY, AHHH JENKINS!"

A rusty blur rushed past her, and leaped forward. His sword materialized in his hand as he came in for his landing, turning the blade sideways and smashing the foremost Kobold flat. It's life bar went from full to nonexistent.

Needless to say, they freaked out.

Some sprang forward, and he took advantage of his sideways sword, spinning and bisecting two of them.

Unfortunately, he didn't think about the fact that he was now surrounded by a large group of angry and surprised kobolds.

They started moving in from all angles.

"LEEEEROOOOYYYYY, AHHH JENKINS!"

"Aha! Really?!" Shelby watched him streak past, laughing to herself. What kind of a big goofball was she dating? He smooshed one, and turned to others into four pieces rather neatly. She blinked at the very cartoon-y, kid friendly graphics and laughed again. She could definitely appreciated it since she was still having a lingering bit of trouble with red things. 

She didn't dwell on it long, however, or else she would miss out on all of the action! With a glint in her eyes she lifted her staff and chose an option from her spells list. "Rise, my minions! RISE!" She may have cackled as an orange ring of magic runes suddenly appeared around Saph and the horde of Kobolds. The very air crackled as magic tendrils reached out for the slain creatures and disappeared inside of them. Instantly the bodies started to twitch as they reanimated. The two that had been cut were sucked back together. They rose back up onto their feet with the help of the tendrils, and when her magic circle faded three very dead kobolds were swaying and jerking among the rest of them. Shelby lifted her staff high up into the air and the eyes of the skull on top glowed and eerie yellow. "Attack!"

With furious screeches the zombie!bolds lurked into action, joining the attack that Saph was pressing. Meanwhile, Shelby had managed to aggro two of the live creatures, who were circling around the battle to press an attack on her. She glanced at her menu again, tapping a spell called 'amplify damage' which took a little chunk out of her mana, and then another spell she'd been curious about called 'iron maiden'. She hadn't had time to full read through it, but was expecting an iron maiden to like... pop out of the ground or something, right?

Nothing happened right at first, and they were closing in on her. Using another bit of her slowly replenishing mana she chose a life tap spell from the list. The closest kobold took a swing at her, stealing a notch of her health right at first, but then exploded.... and her health bar filled back up. 

She blinked, and glanced back at her spell list. Which one had done that? The second kobold reeled back from his dead companion, before attempting to press its own attack on her.

"Rise, my minions! RISE!"

Damn, she was getting into this, wasn't she? He would have to make fun of her for it later.

For now, though, he was surrounded by somewhat dangerous opponents, and apparently spinning in a circle with this sword in hand had a cool down. He was in a bit of a jam. Help came in the form of those he'd just struck down. They zombified an began attacking some of the others closing in.

He grinned and began a game of bloody wack-a-mole. Shelby seemed to be dealing with her own problems, but she was an adult, she could handle one Kobold, right?

Saph opted for one of his more useful abilities, and activated holy flame, reaching out a hand to spray white flames into the crowd. It apparently only targeted evil creatures. Kobolds were evil enough, though, because they started screaming and running.

So were the zombies, apparently, because they caught flame too, an started running into the crowd as well.

That was when their shaman stepped out of small tent, and began flinging fireballs everywhere. Good times.

Casting the raise undead spell again, she brought the exploded kobold back (who's just kinda popped back into existance oddly enough), and sent him after the one still aggro-ing at her. It tied him up for a while as the two of them exchanged blows, and she turned to see how Saph was doing. 

Oh... holy flame. That was cool too. 

Frowning as her zombies scattered in every direction, she pursed her lips and deflected back to her spell list. She had a few intimidation spells, a few charm spells, lots of undead spells and the like. An errant fireball smacked into the ground at her feet, taking a small chuck of her health with it as it fizzled out. "Hey!" Her ire was immediately turned toward the small Kobold shaman across the field. 

Activating one of the other interesting spells she'd run across on the list was called 'Spectral Hand'. She hoped it was as creepy as the name promised. Activating it, she was surprised to find a wispy, blue, ghost-like hand suddenly in front of her. It was attached to her via a long rubbery arm that melded in with a sudden blue aura that had sprung up around her. Shelby blinked at it, glancing over at the two struggling kobolds behind her, and pointed her staff at them experimentally. The blue hand zipped away and backhanded the nearly dead kobold into the air with ease.

She may have cackled again. She was having so much fun!

With a sly grin, she turned and jerked her staff at the shaman. It zipped away again, but the trixy little mage was at least aware enough to sense it coming and momentarily paused it's fire ball onslaught to throw up a protective barrier around itself and block her attack. 

"Tch." She wasn't exactly sure if she could use more than one spell at once, but decided to default back to the raise dead option. She chose the little section over by Saph again, which was littered with many kobold bodies. In the blink of an eye she had a decently sized little pile of Zombolds at her disposal. She aimed her staff at the shaman. "Attack!"
 

The fire faded, and within seconds he had a small army of Kobolds around him. A chuckle came from him as he wandered among them, swinging his sword casually every few seconds to take out a foe.

He neared the Shaman before too long, who was stuck between keeping his magical barrier up against Shelby's attacks, or fending off Saph and the Zombold army.

He shot forward, an the Shaman panicked, throwing up a wall of what looked like old wood, which the Knight hammered away at for a moment before it fell in pieces.

"What, You don't got any fancy tricks up yer sleeve, eh?" The Shaman hissed, and grumbled a spell. It's eyes glowed a deep green and suddenly the ground came alive with squirming roots, which sprouted up and gripped the valiant paladin and the zombolds alike.

"Aw, damnit... I'm entangled..." He tried to pull free, but the vines had him good, and his sword was already extended out, so he couldn't swing it with any real force.

She used the distraction Saph provided to hit the shaman with a fear spell, then deftly made herself scarce as it launched a mass entangle. Her blue specter hand was still around, surprisingly, which thankfully meant she didn't have to wait for her mana bar to refill before she could press another attack. Swiftly she skirted around toward the tent the shaman had come out of. She appeared behind it just as it's eyes stopped glowing.

"Well... hello there little one." It spun, already hissing, but froze when it saw her. Her fear effect was in full swing, causing it to falter and struggle against her magic. Shelby grinned, sharp pointy teeth glinting, and her phantom hand arched back behind her nice and wide, before smacking the shaman as hard as it could. The little creature was suddenly air born, arched nicely, and when it landed it's health bar hit zero.

The roots slunk back into the dirt from whence they came. "And the goblin saves the day!" She tapped her staff on the ground cheerfully. "I think i've got the hang of this now!"

What did Saph do while she was taking care of the Shaman?

He hung there, like a helpless rag doll, giving up on escaping. He was mid sigh when the entangling spell suddenly dispersed. What did he do? He fell flat on his face.

Slowly he got up, grumbling grumpily the whole way. He sat up and looked around at the undead minions scattered about. They had all landed on their feet.

"Figures... Oh, hey, I gained a level." He grinned again, wiping some dirt from his face, and opened up his menu, rooting around for new abilities to pick up.

"Alright, alright, settle down. Let's take a look at the loot, eh?" He turned and wandered on over to the chest, pulling a giant sword from the relatively little thing. "Ohhh.. rare drop!" He gave it a shake and the blade burst into flame!

"Hah! See what you got!"

His old sword was tossed to the side. "Where to next, oh great Goblin queen?"

It looked as if she'd gained a level as well. She set about upgrading a few things and started to wander over toward the treasure. Her little undead horde flanked her and shuffled about restlessly as they claimed their prizes. Saph got some sort of rare sword, a very fire-y sword. She excitedly reached in after him to collect her own reward.

.... it was a small bag full of health potions. 

The pout that over took her features could put any toddler to shame. Health potions! She probably would have been better off getting a random generic staff! "Poop!" Considering that her health was only missing a notch, she dug one of the potions out and tossed the rest of the bag to Saph. He was the tank in their little party, and thus would more than likely need them more than her. 


"Where to next, oh great Goblin queen?"

Glancing at the small pile of loot next to the chest, she opened her hub and clicked a little pop up window labeled 'Pick Up?' The pile vanished with  pop! and she turned to Saph while leaning on her staff. "Well, the most logical thing to do would be swing by town to pick up supplies and upgrades, and then head out from there." She pondered over where exactly the next 'there' would be. 

"I was kinda thinking that heading for the sea, or the forest would be fun! You can choose between the two!" She turned then, waving her undead army to follow, and headed towards the tent to see if it had any look in it.

--

One battle fodder filled trip later, they were standing outside the gates of the village. Her zombie horde had expired sometime back, which was probably for the best anyway. Humans didn't tend to be big fans of anything necromancy related anyway. Shelby was staring at the high walls that surrounded it, which had giant pointy spears poking out and up toward the sky. It was like Anti Pigeon spikes, but for giant pigeons. She could hear a ruckus somewhere off in the city too, even though it looked relatively peaceful up front. 

"Well... no time like the present." With that the very obvious Goblin marched into the very human village without a care in the world.

* Some Time Later *

Saph hobble-ran as fast as he could, yelling at the top at his lungs as he went. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!"

He looked back to his companion spying the smoke from the village clearly over her head as she ran with him. "You just HAD to try and haggle, didn't you?!" In the distance behind them he could hear the cries of an angry mob beginning to form.

"And the goat? Why would you use a goat that way?!" He was clearly having the time of his life. They were currently heading down the path they'd used to come here, toward the dense, dark forests, where they could possibly find refuge from the angry mob.

"Why the village elder's daughter? Was that really necessary? I have so many questions!"

As soon as they got deep enough into the forest, it suddenly got quite dark. He ducked behind a tree, and quieted her.

The angry villagers weren't too far behind... oddly enough, though, they didn't seem to willing to venture into the woods.

... Well, that hadn't gone as she'd planned!

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!"

"I don't know, I panicked okay?!" He hobbled along quickly while she kept pace beside him, turning to check and make sure the mob hadn't caught up with them yet every few seconds. "I didn't know the whole place was so freaking flammable!"

"You just HAD to try and haggle, didn't you?! And the goat? Why would you use a goat that way?!"

"Hey! That was clearly a scam! There was no reason for that staff to be that expensive! And you leave the goat out of this, i'm a necromancer! A necromancer!" Really though, that poor goat. Who knew magic could do that?!

"Why the village elder's daughter? Was that really necessary? I have so many questions!"

"Okay, that one was clearly a huge misunderstanding!" She glanced back just as another large explosion bloomed into the sky in the left wing of the village. "The dragon wanted a princess, the Elder wanted someone to marry his daughter... it made sense to me!" 

They were entering the forest, which was appropriately dark and ominous. Shelby ducked to the side with Saph and muffled her own heavy breathing with the cloth of her skirt, while keeping her eyes peeled like a hawk for angry villagers with torches and pitch forks.

There was some hesitation from the humans, who lingered just inside the cropping of trees before they gave up their pursuit. Shelby watched them go, then sighed and leaned back against a tree for support. 

"Well, at least we got most of the supplies we needed." She patted the heavy bag at her hip, which was loaded with potent mana potions. A slow, deep creaking from further within the forest then caught her attention and she peered around her tree into the shadows to try and find it's source. 

She eventually turned back to Saph with a grin, one she often wore when she intended to get into trouble. "Wanna go see what's so spooky about this forest and kick its a%$?"

Yeah, she was having WAY too much fun with this. He shook his head disapprovingly as she attempted to explain herself.

All of those interactions had been incredible in their own way, but equally disastrous. They were going to be lynched if they ever tried to go back to that place. If the dragon didn't burn it all down by now.

She didn't dwell on it, though. They were well supplied, and they had a dark, foreboding woods to explore. Fun!

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just... No more goats, okay?"

He stood, showcasing his fancy new armor. It was pretty much the same, but no rust. She hadn't fared so well, though. Nothing new other than the potions. It was funny, because she had a higher persuasion roll, but kept critically failing, while he was having a huge lucky streak.

Saph turned and headed down the path, his sword over his shoulder. A bump on the handle made it spark into flames, a pretty effective torch.

"I figure we head down the path, see if anything jumps out at u-" Speak of the devil, a dark figure launched itself at them, screeching as it went.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just... No more goats, okay?"

She stuck her tongue out at him, following along behind as they moved off. She willingly let him lead, since he had the light source and all, and it didn't hurt that he wasn't bad to look at from behind either. The new armor was pretty much the same as the old, but without the crust of rust all over it you could better see the shape.... and dang did it fit him well! 

Something jumped out at them only moments later and she let out a girlish shriek. Instantly she summoned the ghost hand again and swatted whatever it was out of the air and into a nearby tree. It hit with a heavy Thunk! then fell into a bush below. 

Gripping her staff tightly, she glanced from Saph to the bush and back, before pointing the phantom hand toward it. A few moments later the figure was out on the path in front of them, lit up by Saph's sword's light. Shelby blinked, prodding at the stunned figure with her staff. 

"It's a goblin." She muttered, and then squatted to poke at it more. "Goblins aren't usually alone, which means there is probably a pack somewhere nearby. He might had been a scout."

Saph almost burst out laughing when something was smacked like a fly. It was so spontaneous. What if that had been a lost merchant or something?

This time it was a goblin, who lay on the floor with spirally eyes, splayed out like a rag doll.

"Looks like it ain't dead, though... Should we kill it?" He looked up at her. She was a goblin after all. Was that okay? I mean, it was only a game, right?

He heard a rustling in the bush. And then a lot of rustling.

Suddenly they were surrounded by goblins with spears. Lots of goblins with spears. Too many to fight.

The next thing Saphirus knew he was tied to a stick by his hands and legs, hanging as a bunch of goblins carried him down a path. "Gees... It's like Star Wars. Why ain't they carrying you like this, huh?"

He glanced over to the small cart next to them, where all of his stuff was hanging out. He really missed his big fiery sword right now.

"Looks like it ain't dead, though... Should we kill it?"

"I mean, that would probably be the best idea. Before any of its tribe figure out we are he-" Rustling started up. She stood and gripped her staff tightly in her hands. Before they even knew what was happening they were surrounded. A spear was jabbed at her while the rest of them tackled Saph to the ground and began to strip him of his belongings... armor included. She managed to hold in a laugh, considering that he shared their race and could therefore understand what the lot of them were saying.

"Beeble! Make sure to get all that blasted metal off! Snarzei doesn't like her meat canned!" One goblin screeched at another, tossing one of Saph's boots over his shoulder into a little wooden cart. The other goblin in question screeched back at him while struggling to remove one of the knights shoulder pauldrons. "I knows, I knows! No need to yell at Beeble like that!"

Quickly, he was stripped and mounted on a long wooden branch like a pig meant for a feast. Shelby was following behind, listening to the goblins banter with one another, as a little one with a spear poked her in the back to keep her moving. 

"Gees... It's like Star Wars. Why ain't they carrying you like this, huh?"

She shrugged one shoulder. "Maybe i'm the C3po in this situation." She glanced back at her little goblin overseer. "Then again, they keep talking about someone named 'Snarzei'.... i'm assuming it's their leader." The artist shifted her gaze back to Saph, chuckling at his predicament. "I'm pretty sure they are gearing up to eat you."

A short walk later they entered a small clearing lit up by bonfires. There were an assortment of tents scattered about, but the little troop leading them escorted them past the smaller ones, toward a very large, elaborate tent in the middle of the clearing. Shelby turned back to her escort, "Are you taking us to Snarzei? Who is Snarzei?" The small goblin jabbed at her with his spear. "Snarzei great Shaman! Snarzei greatest of us! Snarzei decide what to do with you, outsider, and we eat the human!"

Shelby looked back on ahead, and gripped her staff a little tighter. Great shaman, huh?   

"Maybe i'm the C3po in this situation."

Saph wiggled on the branch, shaking it, and earning a knock in the shoulder for his efforts. The little goblins holding him stumbled a little in their paths as he did so, so they weren't exactly happy with him when they did it.

"Well get em to let me go!" He didn't like being confined and held still like this; it was against his nature. He would much rather be flying through the air and hitting criminals in the face.

"Yer a nerd, right? How do goblins work this stuff out, huh? Can you barter for me?"

They all starting babbling bull, and he growled. "Damnit why can't they just speak american already?!"