.. Friend?

She stared at him for a moment, as he handed her the pen to sign in. She was a friend of his? After a beat she begrudgingly tore her eyes away and scribbled her name on the paper, before handing it back to Mark and taking her badge.

"There will be a live panel with the Blue Torch later in the evening, if you are interested." Mark started, his eye flickering as he shifted through the event schedule internally. "Most of the hype is currently centered around the cosplay contest set to start in about two hours, at the main stage."

Shelby tugged her lanyard on over her head, only half listening again. As much as she didn't want to fixate on it, his wording had dredged up old wounds from the past. Olivia, when they had been dating many years prior, and once introduced her to another girl in the same manner. As a friend, rather than a girlfriend. As it turned out the bird mutant had been cheating on her for an unknown amount of time, and had been telling people she was interested in that Shelby was just a friend. It had broken her young heart, and had taken her many months and a good amount of strength to get over it.

Hearing the term again, from someone she was currently in a relationship with left a bad taste in her mouth and soured her mood even further. As he was chatting with the event staffer, she was internalizing her problem and attempting to rationally pick it apart. Maybe he'd chosen to describe her as such because he wanted to protect her? Some kind of over protective slip of the tongue that he truly didn't mean anything by?

... Then again, had he ever introduced himself as her boyfriend to anyone? It was obvious that people at the school knew, as well as people working on her case. Most of their relationship was spent locked away behind the closed doors of the school, aside from that one date they had gone on recently to get Pho. They'd spoke about their relationship recently... he'd told her he was happy. Content.

Inwardly, where no one could see them, her demons and insecurities surfaced and battled for control over her as she struggled silently not to freak out on the surface.

"Blue Torch! How's he, eh, doin... you know, after that incident last year? Heard it was rough." A lot had changed over the years. Different fad super heroes had come and gone. Saph had stayed, of course, but he wasn't exactly considered top tier; his teeth weren't shiny enough.

Why did he introduce her as a friend?

He knew she wasn't really the type of person who liked to be crowded by people, and this happened to be the one place on earth where she would be crowded for being in a relationship with him.

Did he think to tell her that, or come close to recognizing that him saying that would totally eat at her?

Hell no!

He smiled pleasantly while he turned back to Shelby "Anything you wanna catch? Might have to wait until after everything, but some of this stuff gets pretty cool."

Yup. He was clueless.

Mark shrugged one shoulder slightly as he glanced over the check in list again. "Some things are harder to get over than others. On the outside he's managed to pull himself together quite well, all things considered." He paused, blinking at Saph before leaning in a little. "... A scandal like that though? Pretty hard to come back from completely unscathed. His image is tarnished, and he knows it."

Shelby, who was more or less lost in her own thoughts, came back just as that conversation finished up. She had no clue what they were talking about, considering that she wasn't prone to keeping up with current celebrity affairs or gossip unless it was thrown directly in her face. So, she simply remained silent and chose to pretend to know what the hell they were talking about should anyone ask her.

As they left Mark and wandered off into the convention, she found her attention drawn back to the 'Friend' thing, and also at the host of wonderful booths and costumes that quickly surrounded them.

"Anything you wanna catch? Might have to wait until after everything, but some of this stuff gets pretty cool."

"..What?" Her head whipped around and she cast a wide eyed look at him, having completely missed what he'd said. Then it sank in, and she shrugged. 'Oh, well... just booths I guess. And that cosplay contest. Those are always fun."

Her gaze strayed on him a moment longer than necessary, while she pondered on asking him about what was eating at her...

... Then she heard a chorus of excited gasps, and wisely knew to side step out of the way in time to avoid a herd of energetic fans as they swarmed over to Saph's side.

"Oh mai gawd! It's the Masochist!"

"Lookit that costume!"

"Jesus you're ripped!"

"Hey, Where's the Alchemist?"

Saphirus leaned in to listen and nodded intently. "Yeah? Probably trying to mount a comeback. I mean, it's not like he's here for the money, right?" He looked over to Shelby. "We all volunteer."

Mark froze for a second, and then laughed. "Oh, yeah! Volunteers! I gotta go!" Saph blinked as the man hastily grabbed his clipboard and wandered off. Saph turned the Shelby, and smiled at her suggestions. "Yeah, I dunno about the booths, but I wanna catch the contest for sure."

They headed into the convention itself, and Saph found himself looking around like Dorothy in the land of oz. All around them were people dressed like super heroes. The range of people who did this was amazing. You saw short, round Giant's Banes, guys dressed like the infamous Isabel, girls dressed like Cafas.

Lots of girls dressed like Cafas. A surprising amount of girls dressed exactly like Cafas.

He had to admit, this was is favorite part of coming to these things.

They were mobbed by fans. He had fans. He put his hands up as if he surrendered, and chuckled. "Alright, alright, one at a time, one at a time!" He started signing a few things here or there. He pointed at a random female Cafas cosplayer casually when someone asked where the Alchemist was.

It was a good time. It cleared up quickly, as he wasn't exactly the top of the pile when it came to popular super heroes; he had staying power, but lots of the young peeps were more flashy.

After a moment, he turned back to Shelby, and nodded toward the open door to exhibition hall B.

"That's it right there. You got the time? I think it's starting soon."

He started walking toward the door

He would get set up with a chair and a mic in a row of people like him. He managed to snag her a reserved seat as well! Right up front! As the proceedings proceeded, he would wink to her in the crowd. This was gonna be fun!

Watching him getting mobbed was pretty funny, from the sidelines that is. While he handed out signatures and whatnot, she turned back to scoping out the giant room some more so she could form a plan.

When Saph's little pod of groupies wandered off, she was rejoined and headed toward the area where the panel was going to happen. She checked her watch when asked, pursing her lips at him. "It's past time. Those groupies made us late."

A few minutes later with a little pep i their step they made it just in the nick of time. All of the guests invited to the panel were getting seated, while a stage hand clipped a mic on Saph and led him to his assigned chair.

Meanwhile, Shelby edged herself into her own chair. She was right up front. Like, right freaking there. She could touch the stage with a foot if she wanted. While that probably would have made any other convention goer ecstatic, she would have rather spent the time lurking around at the back of the crowd. Away from other overly enthusiastic people. Away from cameras and flashing bulks, and attention.

She sat in her chair with her arms crossed moodily, frowning slightly everyone got settled. Saph winked at her. A girl sitting behind her and slightly to her left gasped and squealed loudly.

Sheby's mood further darkened.

Gees, he'd forgotten what it was like to be in front of a crowd of people, and to not have them all want to hurt you or another crowd behind you! It was refreshing. He didn't notice the squeal from the lady behind his lovely girlfriend, as he was too busy looking into the crowd.

Lots of cosplayers, a few members of press, a bunch of normally dressed excited people, and a few empty chairs in the back. All in all, he could tell the convention had been doing well since he last showed up. Growing, even.

It was good to see that people still believed in heroes.

They started off the panel by having everyone introduce themselves. Saph was the last to go. He cleared his throat, and poked his mic.

"Ahem, Saphirus, here. Member of the X-Men, and honorary NYPD. I've been doing this for... what, seven years? Under the code name The Masochist." He nodded to the crowd, and got a modest applause.

With him finished, the AMA started. Saph waited with baited breath to see if any of the questions came his way.

The panel opened with laughter and a soft round of applause. Those that had gathered in the audience were prepped with cameras galore, note pads, and small recording devices. Eagerly, the faces mixed in the crowed watched on as the judges were introduced, and then the questions began. First, a young lad at the back of the crowd stood up. He was nervous as he fiddled with the microphone handed to him, and had a hard time focusing on the stage. Instead he flipped to a page in a little notebook, and stuttered as he forced himself through his question.

"H-hello... M-my name is D-d-david.. My question is open to the whole p-panel." He paused to clear his throat, well aware that all of the attention was currently on him. "I wanted to k-know how you, you know... how you deal with always being in the f-forefront of the public eye. Even celebrities strive to have some kind of p-personal life, away from the cameras and lights.. but... well, but you folks, with what you do- who you are, thee is a m-much more powerful magnifying glass on you at all times. Your morals, your personal beliefs. How... how do you balance being both a hero, and an individual at the same time?" Immediately after he finished speaking, David shot into his seat and ducked his head. Those closest to him could tell his face was beet red and he was wracked with nervous tremors. A close friend patted him on the back while the first speaker in the group moved to give him an answer.

"Well, David, first let me say Thank you for the question. It's a very good one, right guys?" She turned and glanced at her compatriots, a few nodded in agreement. Then, the woman turned back to her microphone and clasped her hands loosely on the table. "Now, to answer your question. For me, considering who I was as a person before I took on this mantle, it's relatively easy. As most know I served six years in military, so my morals and beliefs on a lot of things easily translated into my current work. My personal life and my work life are tied very closely together."

On the moved to the next speaker, and then the next... and so forth until it was Saph's turn. Meanwhile, Shelby watched on from her front seat with growing boredom. It wasn't so much that he hated this type of thing, but that she'd heard a lot of the answered before. In some ways they all started to sound the same. Carbon copy responses about holier than thou morality and some sort of obligation to society.

She yawned quietly behind a hand.

"how do you balance being both a hero, and an individual at the same time?"

Saph blinked a few times at the question. While a few others nodded, he kinda half shrugged. He was already lost in thought as a woman, named "The Scarlet Avenger" spoke up. She was a bit newer on the scene. Ex-Military, as she said, did a few tours and then made a name for herself on the streets going after human traffickers.

She seemed to have her s@^t locked down.

Before he knew it, it was up to him. He looked out at the crowd, and scratched his nose absently. "I dunno, man. I been doin this for years now, and I still don't got it figured out. I mean, hero or not I'm still human, right? It's not like we switch a flick and suddenly we're "The Masochist", or the "Glowing Fist", or what ever. I'm the same dude whether I'm chilling at home, or on the streets punchin some drug dealer. I just got times when I'm doin' one thing and times when I'm doin another. I dunno. I don't give the public image thing a whole lotta thought, i guess. To say anything else would be -ehhhh- Disingenuous."

He'd read that word in the dictionary a while back; he'd wanted to use it for a while now. Made him feel smart. He looked down the row of speakers, and noticed that he was getting some funny looks from his response. All he could really muster in response was a toothy smile, and a nod.

David had already taken his seat, and looked shaken and forlorn. Saph made a note to give the kid something later for speaking up. He seemed nervous about this whole thing. Prolly wasn't much of a public speaker. Saph could relate.

A polite round of applause followed as the final answer was given. Then, another question holder was chosen. This time, the girl directly behind Shelby was chosen... thanks in part her her hand shooting into the air almost instantaneously, and the cooing ooh!Oohh!'s coming from her in order to gain attention. The girl, more of a young woman really, cleared her throat nervously before she launched into her question.

"Okay, so... this is going to seem really juvenile compared to the last awesome question, but I know for a fact that it's something on a lot of peoples minds!" She giggled demurely, fanning herself with her free hand as a few other people in the crowd started to laugh as well. "Kay, so here goes! A lot of times, as pointed out just a moment ago, it can be really hard for you guys to keep your private lives private. So, in regards to that, how do you go about keeping your relationships quite as well? We've all heard stories of steamy super hero hookups!" She paused for a moment as a few people in the crowd joined in with whistles, hoots, and hollers. "...Annnd, as a follow up to that question, how do you all generally handle scandals? We're all well aware of the recent hook up between T.S.A, and the B.T.!"

Shelby rolled her eyes and silently groaned as the people behind her erupted with noise. People were too fixated on drama these days.

To her credit, the woman in question up on the stage simple cleared her throat and pulled her mic a little closer to her. "Well," she started, with a wiry smile, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news considering how much you all seem to love stories like these, but that is unfortunately just a story. I am more of less married to my work, and have no interest in a personal romantic relationship with anyone, let along a co-worker."

The disappointment in the crowd was palpable, but the next speaker moved to take the floor...

Saphirus was suddenly feeling a lot less prepared for this stuff this time around... In the past the questions were all a lot less indepth... Stuff like. "How hard was this fight?" Or "Who would win?" These questions were different! He always got a bit itchy when he found himself in over his head like this. He reached up and quickly scratched the top of his head this time, looking about at the other speakers, who all had their poker faces on.


Well, all of them except the Blue Torch, who was smiling smugly as the mic was passed to him. "Now, Dalia, don't be so quick to dismiss our time together! Those... sensual walks on moonlit nights... Our bodies, pressed together for war-" The Scarlet avenger blanched and blurted out a response, "NOT NOW PETE! JESUS!" Saph chuckled as the crowd ooed and ahhed... It looked like ol 'B.T.' was using a side romance to try and distract from his other issues. It was a bold move, but it looked like it was winning this audience.

Heh... What a scumbag. The fervor on the crowd died down, and the mic made it's way down to Saph, who nodded a bit.

"To start, I don't really get around much. That gets you into trouble real quick, right B.T.? When it come to keeping it a seret... You gotta talk about it, I guess... With them. It's tough, because maybe some people don't like to have a lotta people lookin at them, you know, so why point it out? I'd rather not announce it to the world. I mean, if they are cool with everyone knowing, then you decide how you take it from there." He paused for a moment, his face suddenly getting a little more solemn. "But... there's people out there that will target your loved ones to get to you. And that... That's rough. You gotta get used to it. You have to accept that when you do this job, when you decide to be a super hero, or one of the X-Men... You aren't only putting yourself in danger. Everyone you love could be a target." He broke the tense moment by shaking his head a bit, and snapping out it of. "So yeah. I prefer not to go around announcing my relationships on a billboard."

Shelby was actively looking for a way to escape without being noticed, while the rest of the people around her were having a ball. She hated this kinda stuff.

Then, before she found adequate coverage, Saph got the mic. Honestly she didn't pay much attention at first. In fact, she kinda didn't want to hear what he had to say on the subject... there was a part of her that was fearful that he would give a very Saph-y run down of his take on relationships, and that it wouldn't be something she wanted to hear.

Fortunately, she ended up being pleasantly surprised. As he got more into it, explaining how he felt about the issues, and his concerns about them, Shelby started to understand a little more. Reluctantly, but the time he had finished speaking, she was wondering if she had overreacted... a lot. From what it sounded like he hadn't neglected to mention her being his girlfriend for nefarious reasons. He felt like he was protecting her.

With a deep sigh, she settled back in her seat to wait out the remainder of the panel. She'd have plenty of time to think things through on what exactly she wanted to say to him.

--

Meanwhile, they had moved onto the next couple of questions. Some were a little more standard, such as: " When did you decide that you wanted to serve the community in this way? " and " If you could tell aspiring heroes one thing, what would you say?"

And a few others were a little more abstract, such as one gentleman asking how they had come up with names and uniforms. But, the most trying question for one panel member in particular came toward the end, when everyone was winding down and the questions were starting to run out.

An older gentleman stood from the middle of the crowd, took is hat from his head and held it loosely in his grip as he accepted the mic. They, with a square gaze, he looked at Saph and started to speak.

"My name is unimportant, and honestly this question may very well be the same.. As well deeply personal... But... from one man to another who has experienced a similar trauma, I need to know..." The other folks around them hushed as all eyes turned to the older man. Shelby herself turned slightly to look back.

"I lost my wife in November. She left me... and I can't say I honestly didn't deserve it... but I loved her with all my heart." A few people made small noises of sympathy, while a younger man stood and wrapped a hand around his fathers shoulder.

"... I can't live without her, I've discovered that, but i'm also not willing to force her to continue on with he at the expense of her own happiness." His eyes returned to Saph. Light grey, tired eyes that had seen much during their many years.

"I know you went though a similar trauma... so, how did you do it? How do you continue on with your life? How do you get pat losing your wife?"

A hush once again fell over the crowd as the attention returned to the stage. Shelby slowly turned back around in her seat as the cogs of her mind ground to a halt in her head.

... Saph had been married?

Well, that was a bit of an ominous moment. He'd almost let his mind stray to a less than manageable set of memories, but pulled himself away at the last second. Then, the panel took a turn for the familiar. Small questions that normal people asked when they were curious about his life. It has all very comfortable.

Saph smiled humbly and answered frankly.

Why serve the community this way? "Great dental. Nah, I just like doing this. It's kinda the only thing I'd say I'm really good at."

What would he tell aspiring heroes? "If you are listening to advice from me, or anyone up here, you aren't ready. Only get into this if you are sure about yourself."

He relaxed into himself, putting his elbows on the table, and watching as everyone said their piece. It was all very good stuff. The Scarlet Avenger and Blue Torch had their subtle interactions, people gawked, it was great.

A man stood up to ask a question. Saph turned to him with a smile, which faded quickly as he realized that his eyes were locked on to him. Why did he have a terrible feeling? The man spoke. Saphirus very quickly discovered what this was about. The room went silent. Not a lot of people talked about that day, but many, especially his fellow panel mates, were familiar with it. The Masochist's calm, yet exuberant expression sunk into a tired sulk as the question came to an end, and he stared at the man a moment longer.

He cleared his throat, which suddenly felt like it was filled with cement. In his stomach, a chorus of eels thrashed about, making his heart skip in panic. After what felt like an eternity to him, but was in fact only a few seconds, he started to reply.

"I'm... I'm sorry for your loss... That's a rough thing to go through... I been there. I... No one. No one talks about the wedding much. I don't like to. It was the worst moment of my life, and I've been through... Terrible things. After that experience, I questioned everything about myself. Was I strong enough? Could I protect her? After the attack, I thought the answer was no. I couldn't. I sank into a pretty dark place, and in that darkness I lost the woman I loved... From there... It was years. I drank. I drank a lot. I put myself in a lot of danger, going out and fighting criminals without ever stopping to take a breath, and then coming home to drink myself to sleep. I mean... Just now." He looked to Shelby in the crowd. "These last few months... I'm starting to feel like myself again for the first time in years." He looked back to the man in question, and sighed.

"I dunno what to tell you, buddy... Don't stop. Let yourself be sad, but don't stop moving. Don't stop doing what you do until bit by bit it starts to hurt less. Let people be there for you, and just keep going."

With that, he saw back in his chair, and looked down at his feet, trying to calm the ache in his chest.

...Oh.

In that moment, while the people surrounding her fell into an anxious hush, Shelby realized just how selfish she had been only moments prior. Here she was huffing about the word he had used, when he was up there struggling. Empathy surged and she quickly found that she couldn't look at him. She wasn't exactly sure what they were taking about... what "the wedding" was, but she could tell it had impacted him negatively.

As the panel wound to a close and those gathered stood in preparation for autographs and pictures, Shelby wandered her way toward the back where she could lean against a wall and wait. There was a lot she needed to think about... she needed time to get her thoughts together.

A short while later after the hype had died down, the people were dispersing. Another panel was due on the same stage within the hour, and workers rushed around shooing people away so they could clean the area up.

The older fellow had stayed for he could shake Saph's hand just once, with just a simple 'Thank You'.

By the time Shelby worked up the courage to approach Saph again, with her words thought out and her hands shoved into her pockets, the hall was nearly empty save for a few passers by.

"That was a really great panel..." She started, lingering a little ways away from him. "And, I'm sorry. I'm an idiot."

She wanted to hug him, really.. express her sorrow over what he'd been though and try to erase that look he'd had on his face from her mind.

Thing kinda went a bit fuzzy for a moment, there. He needed to move, so he got up, and walked off to the side as the rest of the panel disbursed around him. The gentleman came to talk o him, his eyes a bit reddened by the experience. Saph nodded to him and returned the shake, speaking quietly. "No problem, buddy. You take care."

The crowd dispersed, and next he looked up, Shelby was there. He was glad to see her.

She spoke, and he missed her words for a second. "Uh... huh? Oh yeah... Wait, why are you apologizing?"

He stared at her for a moment, sighing outwardly, and moving a hand up to rub his face down for a second. "You, eh... You don't know about the wedding, do you?" He hadn't considered that. It was years ago, now, and she wasn't exactly from here. The attack had caused an uproar when it had happened, but a lot of other things had been happening around the same time. He'd always just figured she was being polite, no bringing it up.

"It was over two years ago... Her name was Andrea." He frowned, looking around the hall. "We drifted apart after our wedding was attacked... Some assholes calling themselves zodiacs. Mutants. Terrorists. I... Don't talk about it much. Ain't a good place for me."

She glanced at him slightly when he questioned her apology. Should she launch into an explanation here? Among the very people he'd just told he likes to keep his personal life secret from? 

She swallowed the words on her tongue for the moment, instead focusing back on him as he launched into an explanation of the 'Wedding'. It was a horrible story, really. Made especially bad by the fact that it was apparently perpetrated by other mutants. On a day that many should have been rejoicing, some weren't able to see past the darkness of their own hearts.

She turned and started wandering away slowly, intent on finding somewhere a little less public where they could speak. "I didn't know... not until I pieced it together a few moments ago." Shrugging slightly, she turned a corner down a different hall, one with very obvious signs toward the bathrooms on this side of the building. "But I have kinda heard of it before." Shelby glanced at him over her shoulder, assuming that he had followed her. "My social circles in Seattle were generally pretty up to date on most mutant related affairs, and even though it wasn't necessarily my focus at the time I do recall seeing some headlines an attack like that. Never bothered to piece together the who, when, and where."

Eventually they came to a little rest area with a few chairs and a couple of unisex bathrooms. She stopped there, considering it was currently devoid of other people. Then, with a sigh she continued. 

"...I... was apologizing because earlier today you said something that you couldn't possible known would upset me, and I let it upset me. I didn't realize until you were up there on the stage answering questions what you had meant about it.... and now I feel like an idiot and a jerk."

She turned and plopped in one of the chairs, which happened to be a love seat. "... I think you've mentioned her before... this, Andrea? The girl you punched the tiger in the face for, I assume." She forced herself to look at him. "I'm so sorry that happened to you. To the both of you."