There's still lots of time before lights out, but after the previous nights events Nika was still left with an uneasy feeling. She remembered the concerned look on Neena's face when they had a chance to speak. Now Nika thought might be a better time to talk with her teacher.

Nika walked to Neena's bunk but she didn't sit on it.

"Neena can we talk outside for a bit?"

Her tone was soft and almost sounded heart broken.

Neena lay on her bunk, staring at the ceiling and daydreaming, her mind thousands of miles away in her homeland of Africa. She was in the middle of a staring contest with a gecko, when she felt someone coming close.

"Neena can we talk outside for a bit?"

The dark-skinned woman blinked, and turned her head. Something was obviously wrong in Nika's tone.

"Of course, kiddo." She climbed down and followed the catgirl outside. "What's wrong, hon?"

Nika was unsure what to say or how to start things off. All she knew was that she had to talk to someone and so far she felt closest with Neena. Perhaps it was from their many days and nights of training that bonded them. In fact that was it. Nika had spent alot of time with Neena and so she created a special connection with the woman.

Deciding to start off with a positive note Nika suddenly broke out a smile, and just like that the cat girl seemed like her normal self.

"Do you notice anything different about me?"

She took up several different poses as if she were in a photo shoot for mutant of the month in some magazine.

"Do you notice anything different about me?"

Neena chuckled a bit at Nika's modeling stance. She made an exaggerated motion of trying to figure out what she was supposed to notice. She grown used to seeing the scar on the girl's neck, but the lack of it stood out just as much to her trained eye. However she decided to play along for a moment.

"Um, let's see..... you've gotten taller? No, no. Um.... You.... got a new dress? Hmm.... no. Um, lemme think.... Oh! I got it! You got contacts!" She raised an eyebrow and smiled. "No?"

Whatever was on the girl's mind, she needed to work her way around to it. Neena wasn't going to push her too hard.

The playful guesses Neena was making caused Nika to giggle. It felt good too. Each time Neena questioned what was new nika would respond in bodily motions. When Neena asked if the girl had gotten taller Nika placed her hand above her head and made a playfully confused look then shook her head no. The new dress question got a facial expression that said 'yeah right'. Then came the question about having contacts. Nika couldn't help herself. She got up close to Neena and looked her dead in the eye and then looked around different directions to show she did not have contacts. Then end of the antics Nika giggled again. She missed having fun and playing around.

"No, no and uh uh."

Nika smiled and offered up her arms for viewing and then she leaned close and tried to pull her collar away form her neack without setting the thing off.

"My scars are completely gone."

The way Nika stated it sounded like a valley girl cheerleader...almost

"No, no and uh uh." Nika held out her arms and tugged at her collar. "My scars are completely gone."

"Ooooh....." Neena obliged to look, then shook her head. "Now see, I never woulda guessed that. You're just so bubbly, people don't have a chance to notice. And I know it's got to be hard to stay cheerful in this place." Her expression softened slightly, changing from fun-loving friend to more motherly. "Doesn't it?"

Tilting her head to the right and giving Neena a curious look Nika was a little confused. Either that or she was having one of her 'blonde moments'.

"I'm hard to notice because I'm bubbly?"

She pondered that for a moment. Nika knew she was always trying to be happy and help others smile. She didn't know she was bubbly. Then again, that might not be such a bad thing.

However, Nika's cheerfulness vanished just as quickly as it had appeared when Neena asked if it was difficult to be cheerful in the camp. The young cat girl's eyes dropped to look at the ground and her head drooped a bit as well. Even her tail sank down until the tip rested motionless on the ground.

"Yeah, it's very hard."

Her tone was back to sounding as it did when she first approached Neena at her bunk moments earleir.

"I'm hard to notice because I'm bubbly?"

Neena chuckled. "No. But your cheeriness hid the scars better than makeup ever could. But it's good to see them gone."

She was going to ask how it had happened. But the girl's demeanor drastically changed, as if someone had let the air out of balloon.

"Yeah, it's very hard."

Neena moved closer and put one arm around the girl's shoulders. She placed her free hand under Nika's chin and gently tilted her head up, so she could look her in the eye.

"Kiddo, that's the longest face I've seen in a good while. What's weighing you down so, hon?"

With Neena gently lifting the young cat girl's head up she couldn't help but look into her teacher's eyes. Nika didn't try to look away or change the subject. Instead she kept her eyes locked on Neena's and fought back the tears.

"I'm sorry. It's just this place...it's doing things to me and I think I'm changing because of it. I feel like I've lost myself here and the really scary part is that part of me is trying to accept that. I know everyone is having a hard time here but this is worse than when my step-dad used to have my pit fight for money. At least then I could take out my frustrations and anger, but here I have to suppress them and bury them deep down beneath my cheerfulness that everyone is used to seeing from me."

"I'm sorry. It's just this place...it's doing things to me and I think I'm changing because of it. I feel like I've lost myself here and the really scary part is that part of me is trying to accept that. I know everyone is having a hard time here but this is worse than when my step-dad used to have my pit fight for money. At least then I could take out my frustrations and anger, but here I have to suppress them and bury them deep down beneath my cheerfulness that everyone is used to seeing from me."

Neena sighed, and hugged Nika. "I think its changing all of us...." She wasn't sure how it was affecting her, just yet. She didn't have the same stress triggers to bring out the worst. Time would tell.

She pulled away, and glanced around. There was no where really to sit, except on the ground, so she folded her legs beneath herself. Then she tugged at Nika's arm to get her to sit next to her.

"You know," she started, "accepting that you've changed isn't the bad thing. You don't grow if you don't accept change. But what is it you think you've lost? Compassion? Respect?" She smiled. She didn't address the anger or frustration just yet.

The hug felt good to Nika. It helped her remember there are still good things to look to with all the desperation within the camp. Letting Neena pull the cat girl to sit down Nika followed along with the gesture. She didn't sit but instead got on her knees and scribbled in the dirt with her index finger.

"I'm not exactly sure what it is. It just feels like something is missing inside me. Like it's been taken away but I don't know what it was."

The look on Nika's face as she spoke had a bit of a confused expression.

"I'm not exactly sure what it is. It just feels like something is missing inside me. Like it's been taken away but I don't know what it was."

"Missing? Hmm....."

Neena leaned her head on one hand, and chewed on her pinkie nail for a moment. 'Missing' could indicated any number of things, though considering what had happened to a lot of the girls, Neena's mind went to the worst of them. She decided to start small though.

"Well, let's see. Umm..... trust? Kinda hard to find people to trust here. Compassion, maybe? Survival of the fitest, and all that nonsense? Or maybe respect for humankind? I think a lot of people lost that." She chuckled a bit, and waited to see if anything hit home. If not, she'd dig a little deeper.

"Yeah, I think it's partly mistrust especially for the humans. They think they can do whatever they want anytime they please and it's not fair."

Nika punched the ground as she ends her sentence. Taking a moment she brushes her hand off and sighs. A flood gate just opened within the young cat girl.

"The male guards keep making me clean their barracks and then they make me do other things. If I don't then they shock me or threaten to do so. I'm alsmot getting to where I'm expecting it so it's almost automatic for me to do the things they want."

Nika looks up into Neena's eyes with a strange mix of helplessness and coldness.

"I think the thing I've lost is my innocence, but I can't let the others know so I put up my cheerful mask and they think I'm the same but I'm not. I'm affaird I'm going to snap Neena."

Neena listened quietly as the girl's frustration came pouring out.

<"Well, no need to dig deeper then,"> she mused silently. She was careful not to let her anger show.

I'm afraid I'm going to snap Neena." The look in the girl's eyes lent validity to her statement.

Neena remained silent for a moment. Then she unexpectedly asked, very softly, "Would that be such a bad thing?"

There wasn't much in her expression to indicate whether she was serious or not. But she did give the impression that there was no right or wrong answer to the off-the-wall query.

The question from Neena was unexpected and Nika's face lit up in shock. She blinked rapidly a few times as she cocked her head back some. Was her mentor trying to test her now of all times?

"I don't know if it would be good or bad. If I do snap people could get hurt and I'll probably end up either in isolation or the graveyard."

She clenched her fists tightly and shook her head.

"I'm doing my best to keep it inside but I don't think I can do it for much longer. Then if I do let it all out the humans are just going to use it as an example to say how bad we really are. I sometimes have nightmares of myself going feral and there's blood everywhere. Not just like splattered here and there. I'm talking about blood flowing like rivers and in my dream I seem to crave bloodshed. I don't know what to do."