No please not again. Thought Leon as his dreams started to change, the world spinning around him before stopping in a familiar hallway. Once the spinning had stopped he felt his feet start to move on their own, it was a surreal feeling as Leon was fully aware of what he was doing just was powerless to stop his own body. 

Please wake up..PLEASE! was all that was running through his head as the nightmare that had not plagued him for almost 7 years continued to run its course. He was fully aware that he had reached the end of the hallway and was reaching to open the large wooden door. Now the door opens....wait what?. He thought weirdly as the door failed to open, This was all wrong in the past the door had opened but this, this was new and slightly worrying.

Suddenly Leon was very scared, in the past his nightmares had opened the door and played from there, but this time the door was blocked and that meant a new nightmare. And given his current state he wasn't ready for a fresh set of nightmares. He felt his body violently turn as a woman called his name, at least he thought it was a woman. 

"Mommy is that you? Mommy I'm scared." He heard himself say, both shocked and terrified that it was the voice of a 10 year old kid coming out of his mouth, even more shocking was the realization that the room wasn't growing...He was shrinking. Growing younger with each second that passed.

A blur passed in front of his vision making his heart miss a beat in the process, suddenly Leon felt scared, very scared, This was definitely a new nightmare and not one he was pleased to be in. Again the blur passed before him looking slightly more solid in shape, This only manged to amplify the fear creeping through his heart, holding it in a vice with cold iron claws. 

only then did he became aware of the fact that his dream body was running, running like it had never ran before, Given the circumstances this was very reasonable but non the less it was terrifying. Come on kid run..RUN! He thought frantically hoping just hoping that he would make it through.

Then he tripped.... 

Leon's eyes snapped open and a small sigh escaped his lips. A small tear running down from the corner of his eye to join the film of sweat that covered his body. With a quick glance he checked that he was still in the mansion, still safe.

He let his head rest back against the sweat soaked pillow, undecided if he should attempt to return to sleep. If he went back to sleep he couldn't trust himself not to return to that nightmare, however he had nothing to stay awake for even if he couldn't trust sleep.

After a short period of time thinking, he thought that he should stay awake even if it would make him more snappy and annoyed  the next day. Checking the clock he saw that it was roughly 3 AM, at least he had gotten some sleep. I guess I'm staying up all night then. He thought with slight scorn, he really wasn't a morning person at the best of times but he would really feel sorry for whoever ticked him off tomorrow. 

Deciding that he had better do something instead of just staying in bed he slowly pulled off the covers and stood up. Taking care not to wake up his room mate, after all if he had to live with him it would be better to not annoy him to much. As he stood there in the dark his mind drew back to the dream he just had, the house he had been in was his old home he was sure of it. And the voice was his mothers at least as close to his mothers as he could remember years of not living with your parents or not having much contact had taken its toll on him. the more he tried to cling to the memories of them the more frequently these sort of things happened.

He could feel himself shaking as he tried to bring the old memories back, with a quiet sigh he reached under his pillow to pull out a pack of cigarettes, one of the packs that he had hidden around the room. He had thought that hiding them would be the better option after all he is a guest in at the mansion and he was still underage in the eyes of american law. Taking one out of the pack he reached into his pillow case to retrieve his lighter, he normally would keep that on him but at nights it was safer in his pillow. after lighting the cigarette and taking a few deep breaths from it he put back the lighter and pack in there respective places.

As he stood their slowly working his way through his cigarette he felt a slight calm spread through him, washing away most of his worry's and fears until he was left with just the impending problem of his family and personal life. which was the two problems he had hoped this cigarette would have calmed, The problems that had been wiped away temporarily by the nicotine only helped to amplify the more pressing issues on his mind. The way his old family had cast him out when they learned he was a mutant and the fact that he was in a new city with no idea what to do with his life.

As the cigarette started to burn down a fair amount and the ashes where near falling point Leon moved away from the bed. Best not start a fire, that would really land me in it. He thought wearily as he slowly wandered towards his clothes that where on the floor, right where he had left them. After a small struggle to get his trousers on without making to much noise he proceeded to go and sit in the corner of the room, hoping to use the time to clear his head and get some of his issues sorted out. 

As he sat there in the dark he was force by his brain to think on what he was going to do next, these where not unwelcome thoughts just one's he did not like to have especially when he was already slightly frantic about his future. These where thoughts that had always seemed so unnecessary to Leon who had always had his life run its course around him right from when he could walk to when he was learning in Eton. However being a mutant had thrown all of that off course suddenly he was the enemy of humanity in some peoples eyes, and to some extent his own eyes. He had seen how the muggers and attackers had judged them been scared because a mutant was in-front of them.

He felt a heat at his lips, looking down he could see the glowing end of the cigarette right at his lips. well that didn't last long he thought disappointed, after all he couldn't keep going through them like this as he had no way to legally get more and he would like to not break the law if he could avoid it. However this made another problem fortunately he was confident he could solve this one easily and quickly. 

Holding the remaining butt of the cigarette in his hand Leon willed the ash in the room to rise, feeling the welcome warmth spread across his body. Once he was alight he closed his hand over the butt in his hand feeling it be burnt down to more ashes before adding it to the swirling cloud around him. He hoped the cloud around him would hide the light of the flames from his roommate but he wanted to finish it fast just to be sure, so he quickly drew all of the ash down into his lungs. Just to be sure that no one who didn't already know he smoked found out.

as he did this he couldn't help but get a feeling in the back of his mind that told him. This is what I do isn't it i burn things down then play with the remains. He couldn't be sure if it was lack of sleep talking or if it was the ache of the memories but somehow if felt familiar.

As he got dressed he looked at the clock it was 5:00 AM according to the clock. this slightly shocked Leon as is felt like he had been thinking for only a short amount of time, but it had been hours. By his guess the sun would be coming up soon, he severely hoped the sun would come up as then he could start his day properly. 

Once he was fully dressed he retrieved his cigarettes and lighter from his pillow and returned to his corner to continue thinking, as he returned to sitting down he let his head rest against the wall behind him, feeling glad that something other than him was supporting his head, once fully sat down and comfortable his mind started to wander back to the questions and issues that plagued his mind. 

He decided to prioritize his issues with his parents being at the head of the list, as he started to try and visualize his parents he couldn't, it wasn't as though he wasn't trying it was just that he couldn't seem to access the memories of his parents properly. The more that he tried the more he got frustrated and angry, not angry at anyone in particular just at himself, for forgetting what they looked like in the first place. Each time he tried to pull up their faces he was greeted by a mental image of two people with blank shifting faces. Even the clothes they wore changed at each image, sometimes they would be in classic party clothes and sometimes they would be in simple work out clothes.

After roughly 5 tries at pulling up his parents faces and clothes he felt a sadness spread through him. It started from the pit of his stomach and spread through him with each attempt. at the final attempt it felt had spread through all of him and made him feel like he was carrying rocks on his back. It was a new feeling one that he had never felt before, as it was just sadness there was no hope in this feeling, before he had always clung onto the memories of his parents but now he was forced to let go of them or be consumed by them. The only problem was Leon wasn't sure that he could let go of those memories. 

He thought that he had better do something with his time to make the metaphorical hole in his heart feel less painful, so he got up out of his corner and decided to wash his face hoping to get some of the sleep out of his eyes and make sure that he wouldn't fall asleep during the day.

Once he had crept past his roommates and reached the bathroom he locked the door, and looked in the mirror. What he saw was not what he remembered, he looked rough It was obvious that he needed a shave as he was developing a 5 o clock shadow beard, and he was starting to get dark circles around his eyes. If he was to pass someone that looked like he did then he would most likely pass them off as a homeless person, the only thing that saved him from looking like that was his clothes.

This will not do, look at yourself man what would mother think? He thought instinctively and immediately regretted it, after all he had started to do this to take his mind off of his parents but he couldn't he just couldn't. He felt his eyes starting to well up and get tearful which was unlike him as the last time he had cried must have been 10 years or more. But here he was sitting on a bathroom floor tears slowly running down his face, he tried to bring up happy memories but each time he tried he was greeted with the same faceless people in the place of people he once knew. his mother, father, even his best friend all of them had abandoned him once they learnt he was a mutant. 

All of these people that he once knew that now hated him, at this moment he would have given anything to be able to remember their faces and voices. It wasn't that he hadn't seen them in long but for some reason he couldn't bring up any of their features, he thought that it must be the grief that he was feeling for his lost family playing with his mind, each memory making the situation worse.