He took her hand, and the world dropped away around her. He touched her cheek, and everything else around them ceased to exist. His smile melted her heart, and his touch caused all the thoughts in her head to scatter. She was an idiot around him. She said the stupidest things, acted like a complete moron... but he didn’t make fun of her. He didn’t roll his eyes, or point out her flaws.

He loved her. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her... and she didn’t know how to handle it.

“Trent... I...I don’t know what to say.” She breathed, her hand shaking in his grip. He gazed up at her, his dark eyes sparkling, and smiled. “Say yes, Megan... Make me the happiest man in the world.”

Her eyes dropped from his to the silver ring on her finger, and she felt her knees wobble. Yes.... she thought. Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes! Her mind told her. She was the happiest she had ever been, living with him.... but her heart said no. A quiet, muffled no. No, no, no. She wasn’t ready for this... there was still so much that she wanted to do! So much life left to live, and fun to be had. “....Will you marry me?”

Her breath caught in her throat, and she dropped to her knees, throwing her arms around his neck. “Yes! Yes I will!” It was a beautiful sight... All of their combined friends clapped and cheered, and the two shared a sweet kiss. Megan embraced him, her chin nestled in the crook of his neck. She was smiling... but her eyes were uncertain.

..... Why had she said yes?

“Oh, honey.... You look so beautiful!” Her mother cooed, her hands clasped tightly under her chin. “Your grandmother would just love this! You wearing the family dress...” Tears pricked at the woman’s eyes. She patted at them with a tissue gently, so as to not mess up her mascara. “I’m so happy for you!”

Rolling her eyes in the mirror, she blew a few wisps of black hair from her eyes and picked at the front of her dress. It was old, ivory in color and made mostly of a delicate chiffon fabric. She had never imagined herself wearing something with a collar and sleeves to her own wedding, not while still alive or without a gun pressed against the back of her head, anyway.... and yet here she was. Standing before a fill length mirror, picking at the lace and little beads that adorned the upper half of her wedding gown. “Thanks mom... i’m really happy you’re here for this. I’m so nervous... I-...I don’t know what to do.”

Her mother smiled, her reflection tilting her head, and strode forward to gently turn her daughter around. “I know honey... you are young and this is all new to you. Come sit, we can chat while we wait for your sister.” Megan let her mother lead her across the room, sweeping the train of her dress behind her as she moved. It felt far to elegant for her... far to clean and pure for someone of her background. She had always kind of expected to get married spur of the moment in Vegas, or not at all.

“You know, Megan, I was a lot younger than you when your father and I got married. I was only seventeen, and he was twenty three.” Both of them sat, her mother crossing one leg elegantly, while Megan just plopped down and folded her hands in her lap. “I met him in Utah, back when I was going to this little dance school. He was the backup dance instructor.” The woman smiled, tucking her hair back behind her ears. “He could mamba like nobody’s business, and he swept me literally right off my feet. We got hitched a four months after we started dating, and a year later your sister was born.” Megan smiled at that. She had heard the story many times before, and every time it was brought up while her sister was around she couldn’t help but make a jab about her being an unplanned baby. Both she and her younger brother had been planned. It entertained her to no end to pick at the eldest child in such a way.

“My point though, is that I was so young when I got married that I didn’t know what to do with myself. I had never envisioned being a house wife. I was a wreck up to the day of my wedding, until the very moment your father kissed me.” Her mother giggled, cheeks tinted slightly pink. How on earth her parents managed to keep the spark in their marriage going, Megan had no clue. It was as confusing and mysterious to her as arithmetic and philosophy were.

“But... how did you know you were ready?” The older woman pinned her with a knowing look, red lips pursed thoughtfully. Her mother folded her hands over her knees and sighed. “I didn’t.... It’s impossible to know if you are ready for something that you’ve never done before. It felt a lot like I was getting ready to jump into a big, deep hold in the ground. I was uncertain about what was at the bottom, and it frightened me.” Megan watched her mom, blue eyes trained on the woman’s face. “... but your father was right there beside me, holding my hand and ready to take that jump with me. In the end, he was there to catch me at the bottom, too.”

“So you just took the plunge, and dealt with the consequences later...” Megan muttered, leaning back into her chair. “...Do you ever regret it? Getting married so young?”

The question caught her mother off guard a little, and it took the woman a few moments to come up with a response. “... I guess... Oh, Megan, you are so dreadful for asking me a question like that!” With a huff, she continued on. “I guess sometimes I do... I had wanted to be a dancer you know, like the ones on Tv.” Megan nodded, her eyes trailing away to the floor.

“... but I wouldn’t change anything. Not for all of the money in the world. I have three darling children, and a wonderful husband. I couldn’t be more happy with my life. I’m sure you will know what i’m talking about, after things settle down and the excitement wears off.”

Megan nodded again, and forced a smile onto her lips. “Thanks mom...” She said, leaning over and hugging the woman gently. Her sister appeared in the doorway with three cups of coffee balanced in her hands. “You guys just about done with all of this emotion crap? Our appointment with the florist is in thirty minutes.”

Her mother huffed and got to her feet. “Sophi, you hush! Always setting a bad example!” Megan waved at them to continue on without her. She needed to slip out of her dress and get back into her street clothes. As the two left the room, gently snipping at one another, the bride to be let her gaze fall to her hands... where a small silver wedding ring glinted up at her.

Her mothers words hadn’t set her mind at ease. If anything, she was more troubled than she had started out. If someone like her mom, who was the biggest push over she knew, could harbor feelings of regret... what was her life to be like? She still held onto grudges that had stemmed all the way back into junior high... she couldn’t even fathom what life would be like years into the future, holding onto remorse for little things like never leaving her home state. With a soft, bitter chuckle, she stood and set about getting undressed.

She hadn’t even been to Canada yet, and here she was, taking of the biggest leaps a person could in one lifetime.

... she should have said no.

Her teeth wouldn’t stop chattering... her hands were trembling, and she had nearly plucked all of her eyebrows off. Megan was freaking out. It was the night before the wedding... all of Trent’s family had flown in from out of state, some from half way across the country. Her own family had all gathered as well, staying either at the house she had been raised in, or at various motels close by. The ceremony was in the morning, bright and early so that anyone who needed to leave afterward could still catch a decent flight back home.

She had less than nine hours to wait.... and it was killing her.

The uncertainly she felt over the whole thing had grown and grown over the past few weeks, to the point that it felt like someone was sitting on her shoulders. Whispering all of her fears right into her ear. The ring on her finger itched, she was painfully aware of it’s existence, and every time she looked at her wedding dress she burst into tears.

Thankfully, her husband to be was staying with his family. She was all alone in their home, left to herself since it was bad luck for the husband to see his wife before the ceremony. She didn’t want him to see her in such a state anyway. Megan was close to tearing her own hair out. Her mothers words were ringing in her ears, mixed with her own paranoid and doubts.

Was this the right thing to do? Was she ready for this? Was Trent even ready for this? She had asked him earlier in the week, when her doubts had crept up and overtaken her. His reply had been less than assuring, more along the lines of ‘Don’t worry, everything will be alright’. It hadn’t settled her nerves at all... In fact, it had sparked her anger. She had been left feeling like what he wanted was more important than what she did, and she had only narrowly avoided starting an argument over the phone.

“...Come on Meg... pull yourself together... you’re stronger than this...” She muttered, her own words echoing out into the silence of her house. She was strong. She could handle anything, right? What was marriage more than a little ring and a silly old ritual anyway? ...and who was to say that it would mean giving anything up?

“yeah..” She muttered, running a hand through her hair as she answered her own thoughts. She could be a wife, and still keep her dreams!... plenty of people did that, right?

For a few minutes, she sat in silence. Thinking. Her mind drew a blank. She didn’t know anyone who had gotten married, and not immediately started a family. She also didn’t know any wives who had gotten jobs, or gone on fun trips... she hardly even knew anyone who still went out partying with her after getting hitched. With a groan, she dropped her head into her arms, and tugged at her hair. That seemed to be the curse of living in a small town. People followed traditions, kept to rigid beliefs. Hell, even though Trent was a bit of an oddball, and a city boy, he had adopted a farm lifestyle and melded into the community seamlessly.

She was doomed to become another stay at home mom, a cardboard cutout of who she had been before that little ring had been placed on her finger. She was doomed to follow in her mother’s footsteps, always smiling even though there was pain in her heart, and regrets forever on her mind. Biting down on her bottom lip, Megan got to her feet. She couldn’t handle it! She didn’t want her wedding to go like this!

Snatching up her phone, she scrolled down to Trents number. She’d call him, confess her fears, and put the wedding off. Surely if they sat down and discussed it, he’d see her side. Surely...
Her thumb froze before she could dial the number. She held her breath, chewing on her lip anxiously.

Would he though? Would he understand? Trent was stubborn. He was set in his beliefs and trying to pry him away from what he wanted never ended well. She had known him long enough, seen how he acted and heard what he believed, that she knew that much was true. If she told him that she was having second thoughts, he’d probably come home. She knew full well that she couldn’t face him in person... he had too strong a personality. The kind that beat you into submission without even having to raise a hand. Flipping her phone shut, she stuffed it into her pants pocket. No, she couldn’t tell him. That would just put her back into a place of quietly suffering with her thoughts. Turning, she marched over to her closet. Her heart was beating so hard she could hear it in her ears. A slow panic crept in, and her movement sped up.

She just needed to leave.... to get away for a little while and collect her thoughts.

Snatching up a backpack, she proceeded to dump a few articles of clothing into it. She slipped shoes on her feet, ignoring socks, and stopped by the wedding dress laid out on her bed. Her mother would never forgive her if something happened to it... She’d have to take it with her.
Folding it quickly, she stuffed it in right along with her underwear and shirts, and quickly moved out into the living room.

Together, she and Trent had saved up a good sum of money... funding that they had intended to use on a new car. A wedding present to themselves. With a frown on her lips, she snatched the jar up, turned, and marched out the door, locking the house behind her.

At first, she had just intended to hide out for the night. She turned her phone off and hopped on her bike- since Trent had the car. She had peddled around the town for a little while, sure that the cover of night would keep her hidden as long as she had her coats hood up.

But eventually she had found herself at the Greyhound bus station. She didn’t really know what she was doing when she handed over three hundred dollars to the man behind a computer, and asked him to ship her three states away, into a city she had never even heard of. The two hours she waited after, all while quietly growing more and more panicked as the hour of her wedding drew nearer.

By the time her wedding party and guests were awakening and preparing themselves for the event, she was on a bus, halfway out of the state.

By the time her groom was standing at the alter, waiting for her to appear while people nervously glanced at their watches, she was in the next state over.

She sat and watched her phone ring, the volume turned all of the way off so as to not disturb the others on the bus. Her eyes tired and empty. Lips slack and dry. She didn’t know what she was doing, but she knew that there was no going back. She had left an entire wedding party behind her, everyone she knew and loved.... Her mother, god, she didn’t even know how her mother would react.

And Trent? She shuddered. She prayed he never found her... because she honestly didn’t want to find out.