February 14th

Holidays sucked.

Even with the alarm clock that she had found in her room going off, Lee had been reluctant to get up that morning. Tarin was in a coma, DocProf hadn't come to get her meaning nothing had changed, whether for better or worse, and Lee was once again experiencing what it was like to wake up with no energy. Tarin had been there at night, in the mornings, so often lately...Since going to Texas, Lee hadn't slept a single night where she hadn't spent the night in bed with Tarin. She wasn't used to this lack of energy any more, and to make matters worse, she didn't even have coffee there.

She didn't want to get out of bed. Lee knew she had to, knew she needed to, even if it wasn't to get somewhere where she could actually get some energy, she needed to go see Tarin, see how he was doing. Yet Lee was having a hell of a time finding the motivation to even move.

Then she heard a knock on the door. Grumbling, nothing intelligible, just plain noise, Lee slowly dragged herself out of bed. Despite her desire to not move, Lee couldn't simply not open the door, it might be DocProf. So dragging the bed sheet with her, Lee wrapped it around herself (clothing at that moment would be far too complicated), and opened the door.

To find Sam standing there. A large cup of coffee in his hand. Thanking Sam profusely, Lee drank the caffeinated goodness, then went to the bathroom to change before heading down to the infirmary. She needed a shower too, but since she only had the one set of clothes to change into, the idea was rather pointless at that time.

No change. Other than the beeping of the heart monitor and the slow rise and fall of his chest, Tarin looked dead laying there.

Though maybe he was half dead, Lee thought, swallowing the tears that sprang up. Even after he'd been there, hooked up to all those machines all night, Tarin still didn't seem to have any energy to him. Touching his hand, it still felt like he had less energy than he had any of those times she had siphoned from him until the point that he passed out.

Hours later, was it really only midday? Lee couldn't stay cooped up in the infirmary any longer, but couldn't stand the idea of leaving. She did need to get something else to change into though, since she was dressed to go out rather than to be sitting in a hospital room. Even still, Lee only left after she had made DocProf promise to call her on her cell phone, which she made sure he wrote the number down, the moment anything changed with Tarin.

Once home, Lee had a quick shower then threw on a pair of jeans and a tshirt, her hair pulled back into a loose ponytail, so much different than what she normally wore, as she started packing her duffel bag. Again filling it with jeans and pants, not that Lee had very many of those, so to add to it she threw in some of her longer, casual skirts, though those still barely even reached her knees.

Lee was just finishing up her packing, a last couple tshirts and tank tops, then her coffee maker on top, when she felt someone behind her, felt energy behind her. She hadn't heard the door. She had locked it behind her, right? Her eyes widening in surprise and fear, Lee turned. And saw no one there. What the hell was going on here? Focusing on her siphoning for a moment, Lee was sure, she felt energy, coming from the direction of her bedroom door, yet didn't see anyone standing there. Marching forward, Lee stepped through the door and looked around again.

But by that time, the energy, whatever the source might be, was gone. Brow furrowed, feeling very confused and frustrated, Lee went back to zip up her duffel bag. Finally, Lee decided that she must just be more freaked out and off because of Tarin's condition than she had thought, and that was messing with her powers. That had to have been the reason, since there hadn't been any one else in the apartment with her, and Lee knew after all this time with Tarin that she couldn't feel spirits. At least when they weren't merged with Tarin.

Taking a deep breath, Lee heaved her duffel bag up, staggering slightly under the weight, and made her way to the front door; she needed to get back to the mansion. Slipping her running shoes on and grabbing her coat, Lee left, making sure that the door was securely locked behind her.

February 16th

It didn't even click in to Lee what day it was until she saw the kids in the mansion rushing around with books, much like she had back when she'd actually been in high school. It was something she hadn't seen happen yet around there.

DocProf was getting more strict about when she was allowed to be there, though. He would not let her in before 8 in the morning, kicked her out at 9:30 at night, made her leave to go eat at least twice a day, and told her that she had to spend at least another two hours a day elsewhere. He didn't care where she went or what she did, but she wasn't allowed to be in the infirmary. And because of that, Lee had her cell phone on her constantly, just in case something happened.

But it was Monday, a fact Doc confirmed for Lee shortly after she had seated herself beside Tarin's bed. Monday morning. Normally at this time, she had Tarin would be making their way to the shop for the day, often separately since Lee normally made a coffee run first and Tarin hated standing in those lines.

And then they had a day filled with clients and work.

Closing her eyes and leaning back in her chair, Lee grumbled to herself. They were going to have a lot of unhappy clients, she was sure. A lot of the regulars hadn't been overly impressed by the fact that the shop had been closed for almost a month, but it had been over Christmas so most of them had understood even if they hadn't been very happy about it.

She was going to have to go to the shop and make phone calls, cancelling appointments.

Lee didn't want to leave, not again, not so soon after her last trip back into the city, but people would be far less upset if she called them to cancel before they got to the shop. Plus, there were a few things Lee had thought of over the last couple days she would like to have but hadn't grabbed on her last trip to the apartment.

Sitting for only a few more minutes, Lee stood up again. Brushing the hair off Tarin's forehead, Lee leaned over and lightly pressed her lips against his skin before turning to go tell DocProf where she was going.

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Back at the apartment, Lee packed up her backpack. It was very different this time. Instead of her stuff, Lee packed up pyjama pants and t-shirts for Tarin; even though it had only been a few days, Lee was already sick of seeing Tarin in the hospital gowns. She also grabbed a pair of jeans and a hoodie for him for when he finally woke up.

Walking out of Tarin's room, Lee grabbed the book she had been slowly reading and stuffed it into her bag as well, then paused as her eyes stopped on the TV. Or rather, on the picture that was sitting on top of the TV. Her and Tarin, in Las Vegas, right after they had gotten married.

Feeling the tears prickling in her eyes again, Lee stepped forward and grabbed the picture and put it in her backpack too, much more carefully than she had the book, followed by their other wedding picture that was sitting on the dinning room table.

Out of the apartment Lee went, down the familiar streets in a bit of a daze. Until she saw a familiar figure walking up to the shop from the opposite direction.

“Robert?” Lee asked, surprised, as she got closer. “What are you doing here?”

What the hell happened yesterday, Em?” Robert asked, a note of irritation in his voice as he came to a stop in front of the door to the shop.

“Yesterday?” Lee asked slowly, wracking her brain to figure out what he was talking about as she fished her keys out of her purse.

”Yes, Em, yesterday,” Robert said, his arms crossed over his chest. “First you don't show for the movie, and then you don't answer the phone? What's that about?”

The movie! Not only had Lee forgotten about her plans to go see a movie with her brother, but she had even forgotten about her promise that she would.

“Sorry, I completely forgot,” Lee said, averting her eyes as she went about unlocking the shop. “I haven't been home to be able to answer the phone.” Hearing the click, Lee pulled the door open and stepped inside, holding the door open for her brother, though she didn't look back at him.

”You forgot?” Lee heard Robert ask, heard the frustration and anger mounting. ”Oh, how convenient.”

“Just shut up and get your ass in here, Robert,” Lee snapped, only waiting a moment before she let go of the door.

Walking over to the counter, Lee set her backpack down on the floor, her purse on its usual shelf, then looked up as she was taking her coat off to see Robert finally walking in.

”What's wrong, Em?” Lee heard Robert ask as he stepped forward. Had he finally noticed how she was dressed in jeans, with no make up?

Taking a deep breath as she reached for the appointment book and a pen, Lee flipped it open as she looked back at her brother.

“It's Tarin,” she said slowly then dropped her eyes again as she searched for the current week in the appointment book. “He's....in a coma. I've been with him all weekend, but there's been no change...”

By the time she stopped speaking, Lee's eyes were closed, her head hanging, and as she closed her mouth, she bit her lower lip. But she would not cry, not now, not in front of Robert.

And then Lee felt arms wrapping around her. Jumping, Lee's eyes shot open to see Robert there, giving her a hug. To be honest, Lee couldn't remember the last time her brother had hugged her.

“I don't know what to do,” Lee said, still honestly surprised that her brother was hugging her, especially since she was upset over something regarding Tarin. “The doctor says he has minimal brain activity, and there hasn't been any improvement yet...”

Squeezing her eyes closed again, Lee hugged her brother. But she would not cry. She refused to let herself cry in front of Robert.

”Then why are you here, Em?” Robert asked, and Lee noticed that his voice actually sounded gentle, caring.” ”You shouldn't be working.”

“I'm not,” Lee whispered, taking a deep breath to try and get full control again. “I've just got to cancel some appointments.”

”How many? You really shouldn't be here, Em.”

Taking another deep breath, Lee pulled away from Robert and turned back to the appointment book. “I'm really not sure,” Lee said. “I have to look, see what appointments we actually have phone numbers for, because I know we don't have everyone's.”

”Alright, we should get started then, shouldn't we?”

“'We'?” Lee asked, blinking at her brother in surprise. “What do you mean 'we'?”

”Yes, Em, 'we'. You shouldn't have to be doing all this right now, but I'm probably not going to be able to do it without your help.

“So what's the first number?” As he asked the question, Lee saw Robert reach out and grab the phone, then lean against the counter to wait.

Shaking her head with a sigh, Lee looked down at the appointment book. She know she should be arguing with Robert, insisting to make the calls herself, but to be honest, Lee had not been looking forward to this in the least.

Searching through the appointments, Lee found the first one they had a number for and pointed it, along with the name, out to her brother. While he was on the phone, Lee went ahead and wrote down on another sheet the names and numbers of everyone else who needed to be called.

For once, Robert being there was actually a good thing, Lee couldn't help but think. This was more the brother she had known growing up rather than the man she had seen over the last year.

Hopefully this Bobby would stay around for more than just today.

((OOC: this post is done as if a journal entry, or rambling written thoughts.))


February 19th

I have absolutely no clue what is going on anymore. What is wrong with my powers? Or, have I just lost it?

Every night, every single night, it feels like there's someone else there, in my room with me. But each and every time I've been alone.

If it was just that, maybe I'd be able to convince myself that I'm just tired and stressed. But it's not, I feel it other times, too. When I'm in the infirmary, that's probably where it happens the most. But then again, I'm there the most, so it shouldn't be surprising.

Never when Shin is there visiting me, though. Not since that first night. For some reason, I haven't felt that strange energy source even though no one is there when Shin's around. Sometimes when Sam's there, but never Shin. I have noticed that Sam doesn't exactly visit as often as Shin does. Maybe his girlfriend's still pissed.

It's not the mansion, though. It's me. I've felt it a few times in the apartment, and I felt it in the shop. Robert was making calls to cancel appointments for me, so I went to grab a couple Cokes for us from the back, and decided to clean the fridge out while I was there so I wouldn't have to after it got all gross. Robert had still been out front, I could hear his voice, yet I felt someone over by the sink, or maybe the table.

It was only me and Robert in the shop. I know it was, and didn't see anyone else there, so why did I feel someone?

So what the hell is going on? Why are my powers spazzing out like this? I've never felt anything like this before with my powers.

Unless it's not my powers at all. But if it's not my powers...Why would I be imagining it, though? It's not like I'm expecting someone, so trick myself into feeling energy. Most of the time I'm expecting to be alone, am sure that I am.

Does this mean I'm going crazy? I mean, they call people who see and hear things that aren't there crazy. I'm feeling things that aren't there...

It's not like I can really even talk to anyone about it, either. Only Tarin....he'd understand what I was saying, wouldn't think I was crazy. He'd help me figure it all out.

DocProf...I can't talk to him, he'd probably think it is all because I'm over stressed or something. He'd probably make me spend less time with Tarin, thinking that would help. How it could actually help, I have no clue.

And not Robert. He barely understands about my powers to start with, he'd never understand this.

Damn it! I thought marriage was 'settling down'. I thought things were supposed to start getting easier. Not worse.

Sam did offer to help me figure out my powers when I told him they seemed to be on the fritz, but I'm really not sure how much I should tell him. Would he get worried and tell DocProf? If he did, I'd be back with the same problem as if I had told the doctor myself.

Maybe Shin?

And then there's how Tarin seems to have no energy at all...

I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't tell anyone about this. Maybe it is just stress and wishful thinking that Tarin will just walk in. Even though I can see him laying still as death in the bed in front of me.

Maybe I am crazy...

February 20th

I finally did it. It only took a week, but I finally did it, I called Josh to tell him about Tarin.

And he had no clue. Even though it was apparently Ash who had found Tarin and brought him to the mansion, Josh had no clue that Tarin was in a coma.

Really, am I the only one who shares any news here?

I can't talk to Adele, though, I just can't. It was hard enough talking to Josh about it, and that was after I spent a week thinking about how to tell him...

I can't talk to Adele, but what am I supposed to do if Josh refuses to listen to me and flies up here anyway? It's already hard enough without Josh, or even worse, Adele being here. I love them, I really do, and yes Bobby did help me deal at the shop, a lot, but it's not Bobby's brother laying there in that bed.

Maybe I'll have to call Josh's wife and tell her not to let him come...

February 27th

Things hadn't changed much over the two weeks Lee had been at the mansion, during the time that Tarin had been in the coma.

At least things hadn't changed until she had run into Slate. Yes, Tarin was still in a coma, and yes, Lee was back sitting at Tarin's bedside now that Slate was off for a meeting or something.

The difference was, now Lee had something useful to think about.

At first, Lee had been more than a little freaked out by Slate's exclamation that the man laying in the bed wasn't Tarin. In fact, she was still freaked out about it, but in a different way now, after Slate had more fully explained what he had meant. Yes, it looked like Tarin laying there, but according to Slate, his mind wasn't there.

Honestly, Lee had no idea what that could possibly mean. DocProf had said that Tarin had minimal brain activity, but he hadn't said a damn thing about brain damage, though. So how could Tarin's mind not be there?

Frowning, she really was starting to do that a lot lately, Lee shifted her chair closer to Tarin's bed so she could fold her arms on the bed beside him and lay her head down. He did feel different, though, Lee had noticed that when she touched him that very first night here in the infirmary. His energy didn't feel right, normal. Even two weeks later, it didn't feel, almost as if he didn't have energy.

Did that have something to do with what Slate had been talking about?

And then there was that other little piece of information Lee had learned that day. She was still angry with DocProf, didn't he know that especially with mutants, every little piece of information might be important? Such as the fact that apparently Tarin had been found in a cemetery. Lee didn't know yet how that might be important, or how it might have influenced or led to Tarin's current condition, but it was still vital.

Lee was still pissed tha the man had kept that quiet to make things “easier” for her and she hadn't let him near Tarin since. Lee knew that eventually she would have to, but not yet.

There was something, Lee thought as she looked across the few inches to Tarin's face, something that would make everything make sense and let it all be fixed. There just had to be something, even if it was just one little detail she hadn't put together yet. There just had to be; she couldn't lose Tarin, not yet, not like this. If things were to end early, end badly between them, it should have been her Lee thought. Because she hadn't been fast enough, strong enough, smart enough. Her, not Tarin.

Even as she had that thought, Lee knew how Tarin would react to it. She wanted him to get angry at her, to yell at her, for even having that thought, because for him to do that, it would mean he was awake.

Hopefully, Lee thought as she started to doze off slightly, her head still resting on the edge of Tarin's bed, she'd be able to talk to Slate again soon. Hopefully he'd think of something, or she would, or maybe they'd be able to put their thoughts together in a way that would actually be able to help Tarin.

March 4th

Things really aren't getting any better. I mean, at least I have something to really think about now, trying to figure out exactly what Slate said about Tarin's mind not being there, trying to figure out what could have caused that and how we can fix it. But otherwise, no change.

Not even that mystery energy. Well, when I feel it has changed, but the fact that I am still feeling it bothers me. Some days I'll feel it a lot, five, maybe even as many as 10 times, and yet there's no one there. Other days, I don't feel it at all.

Damn it, at least if it was predictable, or at least had some kind of pattern to when or where I felt it, maybe I'd be able to figure it out. But there's nothing! I pretty much do the same things every day; some days I feel the energy there when I'm doing something, sometimes I don't.

The shop and apartment are the same damn thing. I definitely do feel the energy there, but not every time. Just today, I was at both the shop and apartment and didn't feel the energy once.

I'm trying not to look anymore, though. It's bad enough that I'm feeling it, but I don't have to look crazy by looking over at someone who isn't there.

And that's the problem, right there. If I'm not already crazy, though that would explain some things, feeling this all the time is going to drive me crazy. I need something to distract myself. So much so that I finally grabbed my guitar and brought it back to the mansion with me.

I know, sounds odd coming from me that I haven't grabbed it before now. I even thought of it the first time I went back to the apartment, but always stopped myself.

I love music, I really do, but I realized that recently playing the guitar has become more because of how Tarin looks at me when I do rather than simply to play, like it's absolutely amazing or something. And if I start playing and he's not looking at me like that...

But I think it's gotten more important to distract myself than to worry about that. And with how I'm able to get wrapped up in the music while I play, maybe I won't notice the energy as much.

And then there's Sam's offer he made to try and help me with my powers. Not sure it'll help, but it might. If I can figure out more about how my siphoning works normally, if I can sort that out better, maybe I can figure this out too.

Plus, I have to be out of the infirmary two hours a day anyway, maybe it would be healthier for me to do more than simply wander around.

I'll go find Sam tomorrow, see if that offer is still on the table. He does seem kind of busy around here after all, so it might not be...

March 9th

Lee was antsy, more so than normal, as she sat at Tarin's bedside in the infirmary. Antsy even though she'd already had her two hour break that day. Far too antsy to be able to actually read the book that was sitting on her lap.

Maybe that was part of her problem, Lee realized, slipping her bookmark in and setting the book on the table next to Tarin's bed. On Friday, Lee had stopped at the shop and grabbed a copy of every single book they had there. Yes, she knew that they were all crap; only one even came close to being right about what it was Tarin did in the shop. But without Tarin, there to tell her, Lee couldn't think of any other way to try and figure it out.

With having read the entire weekend, thousands of thoughts were running rampant through Lee's head.

That was it, that was why Lee was feeling so antsy, she needed to think, to really think, and she couldn't do that while she was sitting there. Pretty much her entire life, her main method of thinking, of figuring out hard problems, had been to walk. Back when Lee was actually in school, any time she had gotten stuck while working on a project or writing an essay, she had gone for a walk, and nine times out of ten, had everything figured out when she came back.

This may end up being that one time out of ten where she wouldn't come away with a solution, probably would be, actually, but she still needed to think, to walk.

Making sure that she had her cell phone, Lee stood. To an outside observer, this would probably look very strange; Lee had already spent her daily two hours out of the infirmary, it wasn't meal time, and yet she was leaving of her own free will, something she had not done in the three weeks they had been at the mansion. After brushing the hair out of the way and kissing Tarin softly on the forehead, something that had become her usual farewell, Lee turned and made her way out of the infirmary.

Down the hall and up the elevator, Lee hurried into her room to grab her coat; this required some major thinking, so walking around the halls simply would not work. Coat on, Lee then made her way outside starting to wander around.

If only she could manage to get a hold of Ash! Why the hell wouldn't he just call her, or pick up the phone when she tried calling him? Lee knew that what was going on with Tarin had to do with the graveyard, with Tarin it simply had to, but without talking to Ash, all she had was the simple, vague knowledge that Tarin had been found in a cemetery.

Tarin hadn't even wanted to see his father's grave while they had been in Texas, he'd been too worried, scared, to step into the cemetery. Didn't Ash understand that?

But how could being in a graveyard have done this to Tarin, Lee asked herself as she continued to walk along through the cool grounds. He'd been in a coma for over three weeks; even when she had siphoned so much energy from him that she was really worried, he hadn't been out for even 24 hours before waking up. This was so much different than any of those times.

And then there was what Slate had said when he'd tried to heal Tarin: his mind wasn't there. It wasn't even as if he were sleeping, or like his brain had been damaged, Slate said his mind just wasn't there, even though his physical body was. But how was that possible?

Then something Lee had read – was it yesterday, or the day before? – sprang to mind: astral projection. That would explain what Slate had said about Tarin's mind not being there even though his body was.

No. No! Lee thought with a frown as she stomped along in frustration. He can't astral project. That's just another piece of crap those people are spewing out, like everything else in those books.

“Then what can it be?” Lee sighed in frustration. It had to be something, there had to be something that Lee was still missing, that hadn't clicked. She needed to figure this out, because if not her, who else would? DocProf? Right, after he had spent two weeks doing nothing, saying that physically Tarin was fine, hiding the fact that Tarin had been found in a graveyard.

She was back to the graveyard again. That was the whole crux of the issue, but Lee still didn't know how or what caused it.

There were probably a lot of spirits in a cemetery, that would explain why Tarin would have been so worried about going in one, but Lee really had no way to tell without Tarin. She had never been able to see or feel spirits unless Tarin had made them corporeal.

Unless he was merged. Then, Lee had realized, she felt extra energy coming from Tarin, kind of as if the spirit he was merged with was adding to Tarin's normal energy level.

Lee blinked, her head cocked to the side slightly as she walked. What she was feeling now with Tarin seemed to be the exact opposite of what she felt when he was merged. Instead of there being more energy than just him there, it was as if there was less than Tarin there now.

“But how? Merges...” Lee asked herself, then shook her head. “It's not possible. It doesn't...But Slate asked what if...”

That was a very good question, especially with where Tarin had been found; what would happen if more than one spirit at a time tried to merge with Tarin? It was hard enough on him when he fought off a single spirit, but two? Three? Five?

Taking a deep breath, Lee's hands rubbed over her face and ran through her hair as she walked. It scared Lee enough when one spirit tried to merge, never mind if that many had tried.

But that didn't answer the question of where Tarin's mind was if it wasn't in his body where it should be. How was she supposed to figure that out?

Except...she did have one bit of personal experience with that...

Lee wrapped her arms around herself, her brow creasing as she looked at the ground. This was one thing she tried to never think about. But, Lee realized, her arms tightening around herself even more, she was going to have.

So Lee forced her mind to drag up the memories of that day when Tarin had come with the Resistance to break everyone out of the camp. Forced herself to bring to mind all those thoughts and memories of when they had merged to get away from the stalker.

It was almost indescribable, those feelings. Even thinking back on it, Lee couldn't figure out what had happened, what she had felt, while they were merging, it had been too fast and too weird.

During the merge had been different again. She'd been there, inside the being, could see and hear, yet had been able to do nothing. She'd felt Tarin, but not with her siphoning, he'd been there, but she couldn't tell where he was.

It was almost as if she had been locked in a small room with Tarin, but it was dark so she didn't know where he was, as if the room had had a window so she could see and hear outside, but it was too small for her to have climbed through to do anything. She'd been there but had no control.

Actually, with how trapped she had felt, Lee had to wonder just how there she had been.

But if that was what was going on, Tarin would have still been there. Maybe not like Slate would have expected to find his mind, but still would have been there, right?

Not that that would explain why Tarin's body was laying in a coma. If Tarin's mind was trapped like in a merge, why wasn't he, well, merged? But it was the best idea she'd had so far, Lee supposed. And it was possible that Slate hadn't been able to connect with Tarin's mind because it was trapped in a corner he hadn't been expecting to find it in.

Well, Lee decided, it wasn't as if she had really come up with any other ideas. The least she could do was suggest the possibility to Slate the next time she saw him.

Her arms slowly loosening from around her, Lee started back toward the mansion. She knew that the graveyard was key in all this, but even after her walk, Lee still wasn't sure how or to what degree.

“If only I could ask you what was going on,” Lee whispered wistfully. She was with him all day, every day, but she couldn't get a single answer from Tarin.