Stayin’ Up Latte, it was probably the most ridiculous place that Agnes could have ever considered this meeting to take place. However, it was the closest place that she could think of and she wanted to get this uncomfortable meeting over with. She had neglected going home ever since she and Rebecca had left the hotel room where they had their latest fling. But was it really a fling now? The two of them had eventually decided that now would be the best time to admit how they truly felt about one another. Agnes knew that she loved Rebecca but she had been hesitant to admit it since it meant breaking more hearts. That and there were still some underlining mistrust of the redhead that she had yet to identify.

She loved Rebecca but Agnes also didn’t really seem to trust her anymore. She constantly asked if the Scot was sure that this was what she wanted. She gave Rebecca opportunity after opportunity to try and make things easier and break away if she wanted to. However the redhead stubbornly refused to back off on the matter. She loved Agnes and she didn’t want to leave her again; heh, the violinist wanted to believe that but there was still some subconscious fear that Rebecca would leave again. That was the only thing keep her from being fully confident in things right now – that Rebecca could change her mind or decide to do something to take her away from her again. Agnes couldn’t handle a repeat of that.

Shaking her head to keep from thinking about it too much, Agnes’ hand drifted to her phone that sat on her lap. She hated sitting in this position. Unlike regular coffeeshops that had tables and chairs and the so forth, the ‘Stayin’ Up Latte’ shop only had large, multi-colored beanbag chairs for people to sit on. It was a wholly uncomfortable system and Agnes was more than certain that certain groups for disabled individuals were probably eating this places legal fees to the bone. But a glance around at the hipster clientele was clearly an indication that they didn’t care.

She shook her head again. What was wrong with her generation?

Her eyebrow arched as a man with a bowler hat, a handlebar mustache, a suit jacket and overalls underneath rolled pass her on a unicycle. For a second she felt her brain short out being in the vicinity of that much hipster all that once but knew that it was best to not say anything. Instead she just sighed and picked up her phone, placing her ticket number that said “Aquarius 23” (Again…hispters…) on it. Picking her phone up, she pulled up the text messages and sighed.

Hey River. I left Gina’s.

Jeez. There half the f***ing day.

Yeah. Hey, can you meet me at Stayin’ Up Latte? I think we should talk.

k.

Oh how she loathed one word responses. Some people liked to think that text communications didn’t allow someone to convey their emotions, but clearly those people were not well-versed in text speech. Truth was that that simple letter conveyed more meaning than Agnes could ever handle. There were a variety of ways to interpret it, but knowing River, it was seeped with suspicion and doubt. She knew something was up. Added by the fact that Agnes said “we need to talk” gave that “k” as much weight as a small moon attached to a chain around their necks.

She sighed and her eyes drifted to the door. Any minute now…

The fact that she was this scared should have meant something. No one should ever be scared of their relationship. River was a terrific woman and while there was no beating or anger going on except for the typical shouting match, Agnes was a little scared right now. She didn’t expect River to lay hands on her but she was scared of her mouth. She was scared of the slew of insults and things that River would or could say that would just break Agnes down. River had a talent for that, you know, but not one that she had ever really experienced until they moved to New York. River had always been the one to handle tough situations, arguing for what she wanted, and the first to raise her voice when it was necessary to do so. River had a talent to break down others when she was mad and Agnes wasn’t looking forward to being the latest notch on that bedpost.

Shaking the thoughts from her head, Agnes casually turned the ring on her finger. It really was a very beautiful ring, probably the most beautiful she had ever received. When River gave it to her, she thought for a second that it was a piece of starlight that got caught twinkling in her eye. However, when River pressed in closer, Agnes spied the rose gold band and the diamond that sat situated in it. They were already beginning to exhibit problems at that point but at the moment, it was the sweetest and most beautiful thing that Agnes had ever seen.

She was happy to say yes – at least she thinks she was. Truth was that she didn’t wholly know why she agreed to marry River now. So much of her thoughts were entangled with the image of Rebecca that she could scarcely think of a time when the redhead wasn’t in her life (strange, considering they went a couple years like that). She tried to pushed past the lovely Scot, to think back to those times when it was just her and River. They were happiest when they were part of the Traveling Co, and despite River’s sometimes brash attitude, the woman always seemed to have a loving and tender heart for the violinist. There were sweet memories attached to this ring, memories that Agnes could scarcely hold onto.

As her mind started to drift, Agnes found herself getting lost in the memories of her and River. The times they spent in cheap motel rooms, the entertainment they had to find together, even the first time that the two of them had finally had sex. It was a bevvy of thoughts and feelings that Agnes couldn’t get out of her head and it was making her anxiety rise a little bit. She was about to break this woman’s heart and, possibly, confirm all her suspicions about she and Rebecca. Could Agnes do that to another person? Could be that cold-hearted again?

“Aquarius 23? Midnight Mint Mocha Latte?”

She jumped at the sudden intrusion. Before her was an impossibly pale woman, with jade green eyes and her blonde hair (twisted into dreadlocks), pulled back into a ponytail. The wooden nose ring in her nostril glinted in her eye and Agnes blinked in confusion. It took a second for her to realize that this was the barista bringing her her drink. After taking a breath, Agnes nodded her head as she reached up and took the drink from her hand.

”T-Thank you…” she whispered. Watching as the woman steped away with a cheery smile, Agnes rolled her eyes and took a sip of the drink that suspiciously tasted like a thin mint cookie. Letting the warmth course through her, her eyes fell upon the door again. She stopped drinking. There was River, raven-haired, wearing jeans and a brown leather jacket, looking somewhat annoyed as she peered through the crowd. It wasn’t too late to disappear, right? Agnes hung her head and raised her hand up, waving, until River spotted her. It was best to get this over with.

She could already feel herself trembling. She didn’t want to do this, again. She didn’t want to be responsible for breaking another person’s heart. It had been hell when she did it to Jasmine, she didn’t want to see that same defeated look in River’s eyes. But that wasn’t what it would really be like, would it? River was not a shrinking violet, she wasn’t someone who, upon hearing bad news, simply curled into herself and accepted it until she could cry and hate herself later on. No, River was the kind of woman to raise her voice, to make a scene, or maybe even throw a slap or a punch when it was needed. Not that she was actually thinking that River would get physical with her, but it probably would have been more than deserved with what this meeting was about.

Agnes tried to stand up but the bean bag proved to be a bit of a challenge. With nothing nearby to grip onto and her foot situation less than ideal, Agnes struggled to move up found that whenever she tried to stand she would only end up flopping back down into the cushiony bean bag with a Plop! Soon enough it was becoming a bit comical, and then embarrassing, as she just wanted to stand up now and stop being stared at. However, River was quick to step into the scene, kneeling down and placing a hand on Agnes’ shoulder.

”It’s okay,” she said with a neutral voice. ”Just…stop trying. You look like a drunk baby deer standing for the first time.”

A smile, a very, very small one cracked across River’s lips. It was probably one of the few times Agnes has seen the brunette smile on her own, especially considering the drama that had been following them around. She had forgotten that River had a beautiful smile and it was a shame that she didn’t get to see more of it since they had moved to New York. But it was too little too late now, wasn’t it?

Wait. Why was River anywhere even close to smiling right now? After last night she had thought the young Sioux would have been in a persistent, foul mood. As a matter of fact, she had counted on it because it was a good reason for her to maintain her mindset of ending things right here and now. She had Rebecca to think about now. She promised her that this was going to be it, that it was going to be the two of them, finally, and they were never letting the other go again.

Agnes sighed. She would keep that mindset. She would maintain the course. So, with a small smile in return, she gestured to a neighboring bag. ”Um…sit…I guess.” She waited, respectfully, for River to claim a bean bag, which she had plopped into just as goofily as Agnes had before. She cleared her throat. It was best to just get it over with. Besides, with River in a beanbag chair, it could give her a running start. ”River…”

”I’m sorry.” River suddenly said.

Agnes, feeling like a train that had suddenly been derailed simply paused and looked at her. Her brain short circuited, she could scarcely follow her own thoughts. Instead of piecing together what she had been practicing to say all morning, Agnes ad-libbed – which was a bad idea.

”W-What?”

Agnes was still shocked by the apology. Sitting there, dumbfounded, in a stupid bean-bag chair, her expression must have made quite the impression because River just rolled her eyes before she awkwardly planted herself in a seat directly across from her. She muttered something along the lines of ”Well sh*t don’t look that surprised…” but Agnes couldn’t hear it; she was actually that surprised.

River Red Fish was a lot of things, but apologetic was certainly not one of them. She could be bitchy and a frustrating, and when she is wrong about something, it is like pulling teeth to get her to apologize. It just has never been in the woman’s nature to admit to her own mistakes because that meant she did something wrong and she never allowed herself to be wrong. Still, the fact that she was sitting here, in front of her, saying those words, Agnes rightfully found herself in a momentary state of shock.

It was for a few seconds that she didn’t say anything before she finally remembered to breathe, straightened up in her bean bag chair as best she could and tilted her head at her soon-to-be ex-fiancee. ”Wow, River,” she started to say. ”Honestly I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say those words unless they were dripping with sarcasm.”

It probably came off a bit more stinging than Agnes meant it to, but there it was. She expected River to puff up her cheeks and glare, but instead she got the smallest of smirks and a slight nod of her head.

”Yeah. I deserve that.” she said with a cleansing breath.

Agnes was just too dumbfounded. Who was she talking to? She began to contemplate the idea that she was being tricked, that maybe this was some shape shifter or other mutant who was trying to weasel their way into her life. Of course she only allowed those thoughts for a moment before realized just how unhealthy paranoia was. Still, this was a change from the woman that she knew so she had to inquiry.

”River, no offense, but you’re just not acting like…you. What’s going on?” Of course she was still going to end this relationship but first she wanted to ensure that River was okay. The last thing she wanted to do, despite how much she wanted to be free, was to pile the bad news onto her day.

River looked at Agnes closely, sighed, and leaned back in her bean bag. Her hands slipping into her pockets, she chewed on the inside of her cheek for a second before she finally spoke. ”I owe you an apology.” she said gently. ”I know I’ve been acting off these last few months and I know I said I had it handled when I came back, but truth is, I don’t. I love you Ags, but…I’ve gotta be honest.”

Agnes eyed her. Her mind raced with what was possibly going to come next. As River going to actually break up with her first? As annoying as that was, wouldn’t that solve all her problems without her looking like the jerk? Silently in the back of her head, she practically willed it to be so. But those wouldn’t be the words that come from her current-fiancee.

”Aggie, I lied,” she said tenderly. ”I wasn’t…totally honest about where I was when I left before.” She sucked in a breath. Closed her eyes. And released. ”I…was in rehab.”

Agnes sat there, staring, unable to fully process what she had just heard. She knew River, as much as she thought she knew anyone close to her. The fact that her fiancée was in rehab for who knows what, and she didn’t know about it, maybe the violinist question just what she did know about this person she had been planning to spend forever with.

”River…what’re you talking about?”

”M…” she clarified. ”Not long after we came to New York, I got addicted to M.”

River explained everything as best she could. Agnes say there, listening attentively, her original intentions for this meeting swiftly going out the window. She was concerned about this woman, and mostly she was concerned about the lie that she had been apparently been victim to for the last several months of her life. Of course, at this point, that was the pot calling the kettle black. Agnes had done her own fair share of lying and, as a matter of fact, was continuing to do so. But this somehow seemed to take the fore front of her mind…and rightly so.

The way that River explained it, it was only a couple weeks after they had moved to New York. When River had been pounding the pavement in search of a job, she found herself talking with a dealer in some shady club where she had auditioned as a musician. The dealer gave her a sample and, suddenly River’s powers were unlocked. It was only temporary, of course, but it was still enough to get her hooked. Enough to make her feel like the lucky individuals she saw on TV – and in her own home.

Of course the probably was that this particularly brand of M was fast acting and left the system even faster with more and more doses. Whenever Agnes was working and River became too frustrated with her lack of a career, she would go out by buy more. Her abilities never lasted and the withdrawal was completely awful. Eventually she had planned to tell Agnes everything but come the night of the concert where Rebecca spilled the beans about them being in her apartment, River lost it.

Already suffering withdrawals and emotionally stretched, River admitted that she had snapped. Spending the evening trying to use up the last of her M but finding that there wasn’t enough left to give her her gifts. That night she confided in friends from the Traveling Orchestra and one, Samantha the a flutist, knew of a good rehab center nearby. They would take her if she were willing to check herself in. Too ashamed and angry to admit to what she had done to Agnes, she merely went on that she was going to be joining the orchestra again and leave it at that.

Upon returning, it was her intention to win Agnes back and apologize right away but seeing the violinist brought back old memories and quickly she started to fall back into her depression. Then, with the drama last night, River admitted that she had her old dealer’s number out and she was ready to call but forced herself to stop. At the end of the day, she wanted to get better and knew that she had to draw the line.

”I’m just…so sorry. I didn’t mean to put you through all this, all the suspicion, all the snapping,” River sniffled and let her tears fall (another first for her). ”I…I was such a bitch last night. And I almost fell off the wagon, already, only a month out,” she wiped tears away. ”Ags…I don’t want to lose you. You really are the only good thing that has happened in my life and I know I screwed this up. I know I did. But please, I don’t want to fight this alone anymore.” She took a shaking breath, finally ceasing her sobbing to allow herself to breathe. ”W-Will you help me?”

Agnes gulped. She stared at the woman, tears staining her own eyes. She knew that she was here for a reason, that she was here to do something. But she was forcing herself to not think about it at this moment. She couldn’t think about it right now without feeling like an absolute monster. So, taking her own calming breath, Agnes sighed, closed her eyes, and muttered the only words she could find…

”’Kay.” she said. She would have to owe Rebecca and explanation. She wanted to be with the redhead, that was going to happen. But right now, she couldn’t fathom thinking about it.