How hard could it be to get a system built of hard light and mystical technology to simulate a water tornado full of live sharks?
Answer: It was PRETTY DAMN HARD, thank you very much.

Gawain pushed himself back in the God Room, whistling cheerfully as he folded his arms behind his head. It was done, and it was a masterpiece.

Now he only had to wait for Sam to show up.

There was no doubt the X-leader would probably rather spend a nice afternoon training round mud-wrestling bikini models. And as much fun as that would have been for the good people of then Internet (and Sam), that was not what the doctor ordered.

They wanted sharks, they would get sharks.
And an X-man.
And a 'nado.

Gawain was not even sure he had a legit reason to do this, other than earning some brat cred. If he wanted to be completely honest with himself, there were other, less dramatic ways of proving the X-team was efficient.

But no efficiency and police routine said "BADASSERY" quite as clearly as punching sharks out of the air.

Therefore, Gawain sat in the God Room, and waited for Sam to walk in.

Three hours. In three hours he’d be back out on the streets of the big apple patrolling, which was often boring so in case he didn’t actually get a work out in during his patrol he figured a nice, easy workout would do him some good. Maybe some mud wrestling bikini babes that had swords and guns? Nice and easy on the eye at least.

The door ‘whooshed’ open and when he entered the door ‘whooshed’. Sam smirked and repeated, ”Whooshed... like that sound… whoosh” Sam yawned and stretched and looked up to the god room and cleared his throat.

”Computer,” he expanded his arms and then brought him behind his head. ”Danger Room, exercise…” Sam thought… maybe it was time he fought with some bikini cladded amazons again . ”661” The room started to change.

The door wooshed open, and Gawain kicked himself away from the control board so Sam wouldn't notice him in the god room. He seemed to be in a good mood. That was lucky - once the simulation was done, he might kick Gawain's ass anyway, on principle. At least he didn't get him on a bad day.

>>”Computer. Danger Room, exercise... 661”

One thing this situation was: predictable. Gawain grinned to himself. He merged the Sharknado program into the training that Sam liked the most, and it also just happened to involve women in bikinis on a beach. Perfect. Leaning forward, the mirrorwalker punched in a sequence. The Danger Room locked down, and the scenario booted up.

Showtime.

The beach materialized around Sam, filled with women in bikinis, some of them splashing around in the water, some of them sunbathing, and a handful of them, for some inexplicable reason, looking ready to fight with swords. A steady wind was blowing from the ocean, picking up white-crowned waves. There were clouds on the horizon.

As expected the women around him had swords just like he programmed. They hated men, only used them as a work force. If men didn’t have chains around their feet or arms they were something to enslave or kill. Just like the ones Maya and he encountered a few months back. A sword lunged outwards to Sam. He pivoted and then brought a hand up pushing the elbow up. He brought the first amazon into a hug as his hand slipped up and grabbed the sword. ”Hey.” he said with a smirk and a calm tone.

The woman was upset and tried to punch in the face. She didn’t get to. Sam used her as a projectile as he turned and tripped her. Another Amazon’s sword came towards his blind side. Sam could feel the heat of her body as she approached he also felt the warmth of the amazon he threw at her. They both hit the sand as Sam twirled his new sword showing a portion of his skill. Bringing his free hand up and giving the cheesy ‘bring it on’ hand-gesture that are always in the newer martial art movies.

The irritation was present on the Amazonian faces that all started to charge him once close enough. Even the ones splashing each other with water seemed to have a weapon somewhere and were eager to try and capture/kill Sam. A spear flew towards him, luckily it wasn’t his blind side. There was no heat in the spear. Sam spun again kicking a little sand up at his feet. He let the spear fly past as he guided the next amazon into the air. Sam laughed to himself and then kept moving in a circle as they kept charging.

The moisture in the air seemed dense even for a beach. He decided to hold off on using his powers till he had to. There was no point now. He wasn’t in any danger. A sword clashed with his as he brought it up to protect his face. Spinning and redirecting the blade he turned and kicked the amazon in the rear as he readied for his next redirect only glimpsing the sky and its darkened color.

Gawain watched with a chuckle as Sam fought bikin-clad Amazons on the beach. The X-leader had some weird ideas about training for possible scenarios... then again, as they had found earlier, Amazons were definitely within the realm of possibility.

The mirrorwalker pushed some other buttons, making the scenario progress. There was lightning and thunder in the distance, and a tornado started to form above the ocead, sucking up water as it grew larger and started advancing towards the beach. Waves got bigger, the sky got darker, and some of the background characters, who were not actively attacking Sam, started screaming and scrambling out of the water and telltale shark fins began to appear close to shore.

If one looked very carefully, they could spot the shapes of shark swirling around within the tornado as well.

The wind was picking up now; he could feel a few heat signatures run past him after they dropped something Sam assumed it was their weapons. Only a few did. The ones closest to Sam kept swinging. Sam managed to pick up another sword now and was busy sidestepping, tripping and swinging. If he ever had a kill shot he didn’t take it. Killing wasn’t part of his exercise; no today’s drill was more peaceful. Speaking of peaceful, Sam’s good eye caught a bikini top fly past during a strong gust of wind. His heat sense protected him as he tried to eye the source. Sadly for Sam no luck.

Flying bikini tops weren’t something that he remembered in this Danger Room session, at least not yet. Neither was the wind or blackened skies. Sam felt some mist from the ocean with the next gust. That’s when he saw it. A large wind cyclone with water. He stared confused wondering who was tinkering with one of his sessions. The other amazons who were too busy fighting with him while the others ran now saw it as well. A few ran as an alarm sounded in the distance. Guess there was a city nearby, Sam never traveled far from the beach when he was here so it didn’t sound that out of the blue. A few others turned towards the approaching storm blades drawn to it as if it was something they could attack.

Looking confused Sam turned towards the approaching funnel as it got ever closer something off with the way the storm was moving. It was moving straight towards him picking up small figures of something, as it got closer, they looked like fish so Sam didn’t give them much mind until one was launched towards him.

The fish got bigger and bigger until Sam realized it had sharp teeth. Large sharp teeth. Large white shape teeth. Sam barley had time to react as he fell backwards to the sand bring up the two blades as they iced over and formed a shield protecting from being mauled. The shark slid up the shield and chomped down on a amazon who was too slow as she tried to stab it. The shark rolled with the amazon in its mouth. There wasn’t even a scream. The woman was dead as the shark thrashed on shore and tried to snag a few others.

Sam shot upright and threw one of the swords towards the shark. It impaled the back of the shark causing the beast to be distracted and turn towards him, blood and sand coating its teeth as it wiggled in the sand towards him mindlessly chomping the massive jaws trying to catch anything. This wasn’t a normal shark Sam finally decided as he shot beam of ice into the mouth. It only chomped once more until the ice finally coated the inside and outside of the shark. Sam ran towards the ice and punched it with his free hand causing the ice to shatter into big pieces, bits of ice containing parts of the shark. It was dead and he looked up to the sky ignoring the storm for a second.

Someone was definitely messing with him. The question now was who. Sam also wondered what else was in store, as the storm got closer. More sharks being thrown. The water level raised as the storm got closer.

Now that was some prime Internet sensation right there.

Gawain folded his arms and grinned as the watched the events unfold from the God Room. Sam had taken up the pace of suddenly flying man-eating sharks, and demonstrated the extent of his powers in combat. He had enough water to work with, that's for sure...

The water kept rising, and rain started to fall. Soon the streets of the nearby city would start to flood, and all kinds of sharks would mysteriously gain the ability to swim - and hunt - in knee-high fresh water (luckily, the DR was not programmed to question the physics).

Gawain punched a few more buttons. An X-man slaughtering flying sharks was all nice and well (until PETA decided to come after them, that is), but there was a reason Mirror didn't allow Jiri to design this scenario: If the good people of the Internet wanted to see an X in action, they needed to see more than just "kill and destroy."

A scream sounded down the street as people noticed the sharks and started to scream and run in spectacular Smurfs-in-panic fashion. Some of them were the former Amazons, but a lot of them were just civilians, including women, children, and all people.

The footage would be edited anyway. He would pick out the most heroic parts later.

The wailing of the sirens in the city distracted him, Sam rose on some ice as soon as the water started to get above his ankles. He felt the sharks a few feet away before they erupted from the thin layer of water. Something that should have been impossible but Sam was in the danger room. Sharks’ swimming in water up to his knees was about as possible of giant butler penguins with flamethrowers. Sadly Sam has now encountered both. Bringing the sword up and using it as a wand that controlled ice Sam directed the water in front of him and under the sharks to turn solid and shoot up throwing the sharks higher into the air. They landed in the water by the closest road.

Screams could be heard nearby along with car crashes and gunshots. It was weird how quickly this danger room simulation changed. Sam shifted his weight on his ice platform causing the ice to propel him along the water to the nearest street. Sharks and terrified citizens who were flailing their arms littered said street. A few cars on fire here and there. There was even a shark lodged into one of the car windshields just the typical danger room stuff.

Sam turned to the nearest group of people trapped in a car and shot a beam of blue around their vehicle. A dome of ice sprouted around them protecting them from a flying shark. The shark hit the dome and rolled off it and fell into the water then disappeared. The sharks closest to them in the water lost interest at the more difficult kills. Sam continued on moving without any particular direction knowing more people needed saving as much as the sharks needed to be killed.

At the first intersection and dropping into the water Sam froze everything in the liquid closest to him. A few people seemed to be caught as well but were quickly released as the ice around the individuals broke apart while the ice around the sharks remained solid. People climbed out of the water and onto the ice then started to run. Sam had no idea where they were going to run but the tornado was getting closer. Frowning Sam wasn’t exactly sure what to do or how he was supposed to beat this.

If he had Ghost with him he could have probably stopped the storm. It took him and Jorge to take on a volcano; maybe he needed a Ghost to take on a cyclone with water and sharks. She wasn’t here though and neither was Mirror meaning there would be no quick rescues or exits. Sam sighed and shot form the ice and landed into a roll. The sharks in the ice around him remained immobile but he could tell they were still alive for now at least. Luckily the water wasn’t super deep or it would have been far more difficult to keep them encased in ice.

Sam took off skating along the water that quickly froze over as the cyclopean icemancer passed, stopping the sharks as they swam towards any living thing. Sam passed a dog climbing out of the water and onto the ice and trying to dry off it was no doubt happy to not be eaten, Sam was just glad he had enough control over his powers. The amount of water around them helped him immensely.

Occasionally skating out of the way or shooting a beam of ice at a flying shark and pinning it to the nearest building Sam moved towards the storm now sure that was the cause of the biggest issue. Sharks in water he could handle, flying sharks were too difficult to predict. He was curious as to how many people were really in danger and how many sharks there were. If this was sort of a movie it would have been terrible, like C list bad like Tara Ried involvement bad. Maybe this was one of those short games on some kind of counsel that kids would play. That would have made more sense to Sam.

”Getting really tired of this!” Sam yelled as a shark popped out of the water before he froze the water it emerged from. The shark wiggled in the ice as Sam skated by without stopping in one swift motion lifting the sword to cause a big gash on a shark Sam skated away ignoring the license plate that fell from the shark’s gut as the beast stopped moving.

“Oh, god! Help!” Someone nearby Sam screamed as he skated towards someone inches away from a frozen shark. In another quick motion Sam grabbed onto the guy and lifted him out of the ice. Sam didn’t let go but kept skating, dragging the guy along in his free hand. ”What is this?” Sam asked the guy gesturing with his sword as he slashed at another shark partially frozen in ice. The guy just screamed “Sharks!” as he flailed his free arm. ”Yes, Sharks.” Sam agreed as he decided to let go of his passenger. Now sure he wouldn’t have been any more help. A bank of snow caught the pedestrian as to Sam’s will.

Sam was doing really well for someone who had never seen a movie.

It was almost unfair to put him in there alone. Mirror considered getting someone else too, or jumping in himself, initially. The X-men were a team, after all, it was not fair to represent them alone, especially not in a fight like this. But now as he was watching Sam do his thing, he was glad he had reconsidered that decision. The X-leader's skills had grown, and they looked pretty convincing.

The tornado was hitting the shore now. One way or another, it would be over soon. Gawain kept the scenario monitored, and kept an eye on the show. If they did it right, and the DR cameras worked well, they would barely need any editing at all.

The tornado tore into the shoreline, flinging flying sharks everywhere.

Sam turned down another street with a large wave of ice carrying him now. Sam continued to pick up speed until he launched himself back towards the beach concentrating on the water in the air and the water now covering most of the ground if not all at this point. They were shark-infested waters but it was still water. Sam’s hand and feet started to glow a bright blue as the rest of his body coated in a thick armor of ice. When he made impact with the water it was as if he was some kind of meteor a very light one but one none-the-less. A large ripple of water around him went up as it turned to ice instantly causing a few sharks to shatter under the sudden temperature drop.

A shark flew in his direction and the ice under Sam’s feet pushed him upwards to meet the shark. For a brief second Sam recalled something similar to this in a dream where he was fighting with one of his ex-girlfriends who could control sharks. What was her name… Calypso? Sam smirked as his right iced over his right fist creating a fist too big for the shark to bite down on. With a thrust of his arm the shark flew backwards as two more sharks came towards him.

Apparently the sharks could change direction in the air something Sam wasn’t capable of. Gravity started to pull him back to earth. Shifting his weight forward and forming an ice slide Sam maneuvered away from the sharks and towards the cyclone. His ice fist shattered as Sam debated what to do and then just shrugged. It wasn’t often he didn’t think things through but he honestly had no idea how to stop something like this other than just freezing as much as he could before the city was ransacked by a tornado and a fleet of sharks so without much else to do he dove from his ice bridge and caught the winds of the tornado ignoring the oncoming sharks that flailed as they spun.

His eye started to glow as he pulled all the moisture he could from the beach and the ocean and the air. There was plenty enough water and while it was hard for him to pull it all at first he started small. Just enough to cover his body and while he started to spin quickly in the twister he picked up more and more moisture till he was a massive ball of ice. Once the ball of ice was too heavy to spin as quickly as the sharks Sam continued to pull in moisture his vision no longer a blur. He could focus for the most part now even if he felt like he was going to puke.

The sharks closest him became part of the sphere as well becoming trapped in the ice as the ball took on mass and moisture. Eventually he could feel gravity pulling him down once again till finally he stopped spinning and the massive ball of ice that was incasing him planted firmly in the sand of the beach. It cracked and Sam’s stomach lurched causing him to puke a little. Sam always hated the rides that spun too much. He could fly an experimental jet or fall from a plane with ease but if those spinning teacups were in the cards he was going to lose his lunch. ”Ya!” Sam said as he was still incased in ice with vomit on his shoes.

Okay so maybe the vomiting would have to be edited out.

Sam demonstrated some innate understanding of B movie physics, and literally froze the sharknado. Sharks dropped out of the sky all over the place, and Sam, inside a huge spinning ball of ice, landed on the beach. Gawain could imagine he would be shaken after this; but technically, he did stop the tornado, and saved a bunch of people.

Gawain punched some buttons, and the simulation faded, leaving Sam sitting around on the Danger Room floor. The recording stopped too, and Mirror made sure to save it on a drive as well as in other secure places, before Sam found out and tried to annihilate all the copies. He was still not sure how much of it was going to make it to the Internet; but it was definitely a lot of material to work with.

"That was pretty epic, Sam" he said through the comm, grinning down at him from the God Room "Honestly, I didn't expect it to turn out this great..."

”Gawain…” Sam said with a low tone like he was plotting his revenge, because he was. Sam raised a hand as the room continued to spin once the simulation ended along with all of his ice. The hand turned into the bird and even that spun around. The smell of vomit stung his nostrils. He closed his eye and tried to focus on the thought of getting back at Gawain.

”Great?” Sam rolled his eye behind his closed eyelid as he continued, ”So what might I ask, did I do to deserve a Gawain special?” Sam asked opening his eye and trying to sit up. His mutation activated as he tried to feel Gawain’s body heat. The God room was a little out of reach but it didn’t hurt to try. ”You should have seen me take on a volcano.” Sam said slightly sarcastic.

>>”Gawain… Great? So what might I ask, did I do to deserve a Gawain special? You should have seen me take on a volcano.”

Sam flipped him off and Gawain grinned, staying safely within the God room. There was no question that Sam would have punched him in the nose if he could. Gawain did not wish for yet another black eye.

"Well, sadly we don't have footage of that" he sighed "And since Miss T decided to listen to the Brat Brigade and have us some Internet publicity, all everyone wanted to know was two things: One, my sex life, and two, whether you could beat a Sharknado. I picked the option that is better for the screen. Take it as... uh, a publicity stunt for the X-team?..."

Gawain clearly did not like the idea either, but there it was.

”Publicity?” Sam shot Gawain another bird before lowering his hands and trying to sit up. ”Jorge and I took on a volcano. Mother ****ing nature, and you thought this would be better? We have enough publicity, next time leave me out of it if you want more. We run into burning buildings everyday, get shot at and you want to throw ****ing sharks at me.” Sam rolled his eye now that he could see clearly. Sam shook his head once then tried to get up before realizing that it was a bit too soon.

”There is no way Gemma signed off on this!” Sam said angrily. She was supposed to be an adult. The reasonable one. Unless Sam did something to upset her recently there was no reason for her to sign off on this. ”and who the hell is the Brat Brigade?” he finally managed to stand up and he staggered slightly and then wiped his mouth with his arm.

”You’re still dating Eve right? What else is there to know?” Sam asked not really thinking to much on this subject. ”I was curious too then I remembered it was none of my business what your sex life is was like.” something he wished others thought about as well when they asked him. He would of course shrug and say he didn’t know.

>>”Publicity? Jorge and I took on a volcano. Mother ****ing nature, and you thought this would be better? We have enough publicity, next time leave me out of it if you want more. We run into burning buildings everyday, get shot at and you want to throw ****ing sharks at me.”

"I didn't, the Internet did" Gawain clarified. He wished they would have usable footage of the volcano thing, it would have been infinitely more badass. But sadly, they didn't, and the Internet for some reason was completely hung up on Sharknado. The Internet as an entity was probably a 12 year old boy.

>>”There is no way Gemma signed off on this! and who the hell is the Brat Brigade?”

"Trouble" Gawain sighed "New students. You might wanna schedule some DR sessions for them sometime."

They could use a black eye or two.

>>”You’re still dating Eve right? What else is there to know? I was curious too then I remembered it was none of my business what your sex life is was like.”

"Damn right it isn't" the mirrorwalked agreed as Sam got to his feet "Look, believe it or not, and I am just as unhappy about all this crap as you are. It all started with Alex being caught on camera killing some freaking bigot with his powers. It was self-defense, but wen viral anyway. Then Jiri shows up, and those two decide it is a great idea to talk to the Internet about it. By the time it got to me and Gemma, the guy had a freaking following. The only solution we could come up with was to flood the web with mutant-related content, interviews, videos, and the like, to drown out the crazy. It is a s**t solution, but we didn't have a better one. So yeah, she signed off on this."