"Where is it safe to throw around fireballs in the Mansion?"

This simple question had left his chemistry teacher looking alarmed. Really alarmed. As if he hadn't heard that one before, in a school full of mutants. To be fair, he probably hadn't heard it from the lips of a body snatcher.

Come to think of it, the freshman who could light his hands on fire was looking a little alarmed from where he sat, too.

"Danger Room," the teacher said. It was the same tone people would use to say BOMB, or GOD NO.

"No way, nu-uh, I will buy you coffee if I have to but you stay awake," the fire kid hurried to add.

Jiri's shoulders slumped under the weight of all their trust. "It's not for you. It's for a... friend." 

The hesitation did not seem to reassure them. But it was. For a... friend. His friend's name was Victor, he was an eight foot tall four-armed cyclops monster, and there was no conceivable way that the internet would not ask him to throw around a few fireballs. Jiri was being safe and responsible, thinking ahead.

The Danger Room it was, then.

He'd warned the guy manning the gate intercom that Victor was coming, and he'd asked to be intercomed himself when he arrived so he could run upstairs to greet him. In the mean time... he had dragged two wheelie chairs and a real, physical card table into the room to set his real, physical laptop on top of. Because he did not trust this holographic voodoo. 

But he admitted it was fun to play with. "Computer, switch to Simulation 43," Jiri called out. The space around him briefly flickered back to reality: a large, empty space, metal walls with a grid pattern. Just as suddenly, he was standing in a forest. His shoes sunk in to a mass of old pine needles, and a breeze tinged with the first chill of winter brushed gently through his hair.

"Simulation 44." A desert. The sun beat down on him. Should he show this one to Alex?

"Simulation 45." An awesome post-apocalyptic New York, with trees bursting up through cracks in the pavement of Times Square.

"Simulation 46." A balmy beach scene, with white sand as far as the eye could see, and gently lapping waves from a crystal blue ocean. The sun was warm overhead. 

Ehehehe this place was awesome and he was never leaving again.

Bumming a ride from his uncle this time was a fair bit easier. It wasn't like with the cure test where they were unsure of the place or the result. This time they had all known about the Xavier mansion before hand. Even prepared to send him there should he need to when his mutation first showed up. But as luck would have it, he never got to go.

So here he was now, standing in front of the gates of a house far fancier than he had ever been in. He could feel nervous tension coil in his gut. This was an interview with the internet and the internet was stupid. That much he knew. At least from what Sophia shared on a nearly daily basis.

"Alright, should be good from hear. Wish me luck."He turned and grinned at his uncle. "Good luck, and don't say anything stupid. Call me when you're done."the older man chuckled and left with Victor's wave goodbye. Pressing the intercom button he was buzzed in and told to wait for Jiri to meet him.

Just from the entrance room he had a feeling this place was some how old and new at the same time. He remembered spending time with Sophia, going through Xavier's wiki article. Apparently the mansion was repaired multiple times due to a variety of events. He wondered what bits were new and what bits where old.

The sweets sounds of Coco Cabana coming from a few old speakers strung from palm trees was interrupted by a buzz.

"Your guy's here, Jiri."

He wasn't sure how, exactly, one went about hitting the reply button in this room. He settled for shouting up at the artistically wispy clouds in the azure sky. "Thanks! Computer, ah, door? But hold the settings for when I get back?"

A little chirp accompanied the opening of a door. The mansion's hallway appeared at the entrance to a little pineapple-themed drink hut. Jiri scampered out.

"Victor! You came!" Not that he'd had any doubts. Nope. "We're down in the basement. Ever see Star Trek?" That might sound like a non sequitur, but it wasn't. This would become really obvious when they'd gone down a half flight, walked a bit down the hall, and found a sunny beach scene waiting for them inside a subterranean doorway.

"Victor! You came! We're down in the basement. Ever see Star Trek?"

He watched Jiri jog over to him from one of the hall ways, looking ways too chipper. But perhaps he was just excited to hear what he had to say about any of the silly questions that were bound to come up. Though he found it strange that he was asking about Star Trek. "Yeah, I love it. Why?"

He got his answer soon enough. The mansion had a freakin' holo deck! "You gotta be kidding me." He looked around in awe, craning his head a bit to get a good look at everything. He could actually feel it, sand between his toes, the warmth of the sun, taste the salt in air. He instantly started absorbing the heat, though ignored the urge to lay down and nap.

God this was awesome. "How'd you set this up? This is ridiculous." Unbelievable, stupendous, freaking magical. All of those words and yet it did not justify the cool that was this place. So unfair. If he had known this was a thing he might have chosen to go to Xavier's. Sweet, sweet nerdery did he wish he had known. Oh, he was going to have to tell his dad about this and his friends and everyone. Good god how was this not on the wiki page?

"I know! And this was just in the presets. 'Simulation 46: Random Beach Paradise.' I've been flipping through things for, like, an hour, and I'm still not sure how high the numbers go. And apparently you can customize, but you're supposed to have a staff member help you for that. I'm barely old enough for the system to let me in without 'adult supervision.' " Air quotes surrounded that bit of institutionalized lamery. Jiri kicked off his shoes, and ran a few feet down the beach to splash in the water. Because they had holodeck water. He could tell at a glance that Victor would understand; he was practically turning orange with excitement. There would things that could go unspoken between Trekkies. (Jiri was more of a Star Wars guy, actually, but there was no need to ruin the moment.)

"My science teacher tried to say this place was all light holograms and robotics, but the student bets are on a mix of technomancers and reality warpers locked up in the basement. I'm pretty sure the government doesn't know about this because how would they not have requisitioned this place by now?" Forget war games and military training and all that boring stuff, what US Senator wouldn't want to spend his lunch break in this place? "And we could totally be filming movies here. Maybe that's where they actually get their funding, because as far as I can tell, only Hollywood studios and Columbia cartels could actually supply enough cash to keep this place running, especially with all the constant remodeling." Jiri, too, had read their wiki page.

Jiri was babbling and he knew it. But he was also proving a point: he wasn't just a kid who stared at people like Victor, he was a kid who stared at everything. And in here, there were way cooler things to stare at.

The teenager grinned at his guest. "We should probably get started. But if you want to give the computer some programming requests first, I would completely understand." They had to set the stage, right? 

"I'm pretty sure if any mutant from the mansion showed up in the movies people would know. Not exactly a secret bunch any more. That or if a bunch of movie stars are coming to and leaving the mansion a bunch." Not with the amount of photographers hanging around the place. If his photo didn't end up on the internet by tonight...well he'd be shocked to be honest.

He rumbled in thought looking around the holodeck and wondering just how far the rooms capabilities stretched. Jiri said that he wasn't able to customize the place without a staff members help. So that limited his options to presets. He would have liked a specific beach from California but this would have to do. Perhaps another time.

"Nah, I don't think any of the presets would fit as well as this wonderful scenery. Besides you said it yourself, you need the staff to help you customize anything." He dug his toes into the warm sand, enjoying the sensation for the moment. He was half tempted to try the water with Jiri, see how real that was. But past experience taught him that this body and water did not mix.

The larger mutant spotted the desk and all the equipment around it and gestured, "Let's get started then?"

He made his way over to the chair in front of the webcam. "So anything I should know first or will this be your standard answer everything you can sort of deal?" He had AMAs before, mostly from directors or cast members of movies he liked. But he never really participated. He knew the obvious things to avoid or skirt around when it came to conversations with the internet.

"You're probably right." Jiri reluctantly agreed, on the subject of the Mansion actually being the secret filming site for blockbusters. It was a very reluctant, this-is-a-missed-opportunity, are-you-sure-we-can't-just-pretend? sort of agreement.

The rumbling thing the guy did was actually kind of cool, when it wasn't directed at him. He seemed more relaxed this time, too. Or maybe Jiri was just getting more comfortable with the idea of talking to visible mutants.

After seeing the CEO of a multinational company strip for the camera, there really wasn't much Victor could do that would shock him.

"Naw, standard AMA." It startled him a little that Victor knew what an AMA was. By acronym, even. He'd been having to explain that a lot to people lately. "Feel free to flip them quadruple birds if the questions get too stupid. I'll be reading the upvoted stuff, but some of it's still going to be silly."

So with no further ado, then... Jiri settled in his own seat, and switched the webcam on. 

"Hello, Internet. InvasionOfTheBS back again. This is kind of becoming a thing, huh? So today I don't have a local vigilante or businessman with me. Just a normal, regular guy. He's extremely patient with dumb teenagers, but let's not push it, okay? Okay. So I'm going to start with the usual round of questions, then we'll go from there."

"Can you introduce yourself, and explain a little bit about your power?" He was saving people the trouble of upvoting that one.

"Why'd you agree to this interview?"

"Hello, Internet. InvasionOfTheBS back again. This is kind of becoming a thing, huh? So today I don't have a local vigilante or businessman with me. Just a normal, regular guy. He's extremely patient with dumb teenagers, but let's not push it, okay? Okay. So I'm going to start with the usual round of questions, then we'll go from there."

The kid almost sounded professional. Well spoken introduction in a comfortable voice and he's done this on multiple occasions. He wondered how many other mutants he dragged along into this little venture. He didn't follow any mutants forms or reddit things. Most often they got flooded with normal people and their inane questions. That's probably where all of these ended up.

"Can you introduce yourself, and explain a little bit about your power?"

He shifted in the chair, settling his limbs a bit more comfortable. "Well, my name's Víctor, a work a regular weekday job, nine to five like most people. And my power well most of it is obvious."he chuckled, lifting his four arms for the camera to see, "The rest of it is ah, fire creation I guess. I don't control fire but I can heat up my body, sometimes breath fire. One of my younger cousins called me a dragon once, if that helps any."

"Why'd you agree to this interview?"

"That's a little easier. I've got family below the puberty line, too young to be mutants just yet. But if they do turn out to be like me, I figured this might help. Answer a few question, help people understand, perhaps stem the aggression and fear people have." A reasonable enough answer he thought. His family was important to him and if this helped them, he would do it. End of story.

Jiri flashed Victor a smile and a thumbs up over the top of the laptop. Excellent start. Very crazy mutation, but normal guy. Perfect. He also mentioned details of his life and family while completely leaving out any details that could further identify them. No last name, either. Extremely perfect. It wouldn't be too hard for someone in New York City to figure out who he was, if they really cared--he wasn't that hard to spot in a crowd--but there was no need for the internet at large to be able to google his home address. 

"All right, and our first questions from the chat..."

"How do mutants with physical mutations get clothes? Do you learn to sew or is there some kind of mutant tailor in the city? Can you take off your shirt so we can see the stitching?"

"Show us your power please?" He snerked, and read the comment below that one as well, in all due deadpan. "Yeah, show us your fireballs."

"You look like you're getting redder and redder do you change colors with emotion like a chameleon if so it's really cute."

Why did chats always start like this, with the male mutants. A better question: why was he surprised?

"How do mutants with physical mutations get clothes? Do you learn to sew or is there some kind of mutant tailor in the city? Can you take off your shirt so we can see the stitching?"

He blinked, "Well yeah there is a tailor that I've visited a few times. But it get's expensive so a few people in my family have given me clothes for birthdays and such. Especially my grandmother. I don't know how I feel about taking off my shirt though." It was way too early to strip for the camera.

"Show us your power please? Yeah, show us your fireballs."

"That's mature...But I suppose I can show show off a little bit." he sighed and stood up, backing away from the camera a good deal. There was plenty of room at least and he was sure he couldn't really hurt anything in this room. Inhaling some more heat till his skin turned bright, he reached for that inner flame. Fire sparked in his throat and he fired off three shots. One in front, above the camera, missing Jiri's head by a mile. The other two to either side of him.

Steam and heat came from his mouth as he sat back down, "Good enough?"

"You look like you're getting redder and redder do you change colors with emotion like a chameleon if so it's really cute."

"My color seems to change with the temperature. I'm kind of dependent on it being warm. So I think the brighter my skin the healthier my temperature. I think." The winters were the worst, it always made his skin look ashen and sick. "Right now it's really warm in this room and I'm just kind of basking in the heat."

And that was a how a normal guy reacted to the "take off your shirt" question, rather than an millionaire businessman with a whole PR department behind him: Victor stayed in his clothes.

To be fair, that thirty second clip from Jaager's interview was going to win the man more hearts on the internet than anything else he could have possibly said. People already in the media's eye had a lot less to lose from stunts like that. Especially good-looking 25 year old millionaires.

He snerked a little behind the camera as Victor called out the internet on its maturity level. The man sat on the other side of the table, living in a land of ignorant bliss: Jiri was the one who was having to scroll through page after page of it's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes repetitions to find the real questions. Other winners he was very pointedly not reading aloud included, but were not limited to:

Hey hot stuff, I've got some achy muscles can you help me apply some direct heat?

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fireTake OFf Your Pants!
How do your partners avoid third degree burns???
Hey bb I'm a water mutant let's get steamy

Yep. The internet. And this is why Jiri was acting as Question Gatekeeper. He'd learned, after Alex's AMA.

The fireball demonstration was, to quote EveryonesADude, hawt. Jiri let out a little whoop as the one passed above his head, like a kid watching fireworks up close.

This was way more fun than he'd thought it would be. The guy had seemed cool-but-a-little-uptight when they'd meet on the street. Now, under the glorious artificial sunlight? He seemed pretty laid back.

Next questions.

"Fighter, mage, rogue, paladin, or dungeon boss?"

"If you stood in a fire could you keep slinging fireballs at your feet to keep the fire lit so you could keep making fireballs so you could keep the fire lit?"

"What do you have to say about responsible power use?"

"Fighter, mage, rogue, paladin, or dungeon boss?"

He chuckled at that question, he had been told by some friends exactly what he looked like. That and by random strangers and their kids. Some kids back in California would pretend to shoot at him even and the LARPing nerds had more than once asked him to join their games. "Dungeon boss of course, though with the right dialogue I can be an ally." Sounded about right, he wasn't just any old dungeon boss, he was one you could turn on your enemies.

"If you stood in a fire could you keep slinging fireballs at your feet to keep the fire lit so you could keep making fireballs so you could keep the fire lit?"

He scratched his chin in thought, "Hmmm, I can't say. I've never had the opportunity to try it. But I'll keep it in mind for next fourth of July." He was sure a bonfire wouldn't hurt him but he would have to test it just in case.

"What do you have to say about responsible power use?"

"Know your power and understand the power it can do, what damage it can do. For me, fire means I have to be careful how and where I use it. Around here I really don't have anything to set on fire so it's pretty safe to play around. My size also means I have to be aware of my movements so I don't accidentally hurt somebody." Early on he had broken several items and hurt people on accident. Hence the well practiced handshakes and careful well placed steps.

He knew Star Trek, D&D, and LARPing. Victor was winning the internet. Jiri flashed another grin at him. Each of these AMAs had been a little different. Alex's had been really down to earth, Ghost's had been mildly traumatic, Ambrose's had been... boisterous. If he had to pick a word for Victor's, right this moment? 'Fun' came to mind. 

It wasn't that he was a whole different person from the one Jiri had met earlier in the week--it was more that this was a totally different environment, a totally different tone, and it was one the guy was flourishing in. If someone had pointed to the four-armed giant on the street and said, 'Think he's the type to get on a web chat and crack dungeon crawl jokes?', Jiri would have clapped a hand over the speaker's mouth and said, 'Ssssh he'll hear you.'

But here Victor was, slinging fireballs and relaxing under the sun. The guy was an unexpected natural at this. Not being physically stared at by the people asking probably helped. 

"Star Trek or Star Wars, boxers or briefs, iPhone or Andriod, PC or console?" These were the eternal questions that defined a man.

"Are your parents mutants too?"

"There's a theory that ancient gods were really mutants, do you think you're the great-great-great-grandson of a god?"

"Star Trek or Star Wars, boxers or briefs, iPhone or Andriod, PC or console?"

"Don't make me choose between the two Stars, that's like telling me to pick a favorite grandfather." He shook his head, disbelieving that the internet would try to force him to make such a choice. "Boxers, easier to modify and hand make. Nether, I can't use a touch screen." He held up his hands and wriggled his clawed fingers for the camera. "PC master race all the way. Plus, I can't use consoles, the controllers are too small for my hands."

"Are your parents mutants too?"

He leaned back in his seat, soaking in the warmth of the fake sun. God it was glorious in here. Never felt more relaxed, "Nope, they were both decently freaked out when I started changing."

"There's a theory that ancient gods were really mutants, do you think you're the great-great-great-grandson of a god?"

"Heh, hard to say. I know Inca blood runs in my family, but I can't say much more than that. But I certainly don't feel like the relative of a god. Just some guy who happened to get stuck with a mutation." He shrugged his shoulders, wondering if it was racist to say that old cultures gods were really just mutants. It had the implications that the old people were idiots and didn't know what was up. But then again, if he didn't know better he'd say some mutations were god-like or magical.

Who's your favorite grandpa? Some smartass on the chat immediately followed up with. Jiri ignored that one. 

He'd heard the old-gods-were-mutants theory before, and kind of liked it. It fit, didn't it? And before modern science, before mass communication and easy travel between regions, who was going to correct a local deity? There were plenty of humans in history who'd set themselves up as divine. For someone with actual powers, how much easier would it have been?

Of course, no one liked hearing it applied to their own god. Just try telling a Christian that Jesus walked on water because his x-gene let him. That was a way to get burned at the stake.

"Is it offensive to ask to take a picture with a mutant?"

"The world is sized for regular humans, how do you deal with going through doorways and sitting in movie theaters?"

"If you could stop being a mutant, would you?"