How to get your rocks off(Liz,Sarah)

Dodging, jumping, and prancing like only a grey squirrel can, Elizabeth meandered somewhat alongside her new-found buddy Sarah. And by “alongside”, she meant “on top of parked cars, passing trees, between her feet, yards ahead, on newspaper stands, under hot dog carts, etc.” So? Like anyone would actually expect a squirrel to walk in a straight line as docile as a dog or as careless as a cat. Or at least, that’s what Liz told herself.

Maybe she just wanted to have fun in the new form. After all, she’d never possessed a squirrel before. And it was certainly not the same as a dog, a cat, or an iguana. For example, in those forms, she’d never once found the urge to run up the nearest vertical surface and scold someone. Nor had she cowered in fear at every shadow that passed overhead. And honestly, why had those peanuts that the old lady in the park gave her taste so delicious? They never tasted that good when she was human.

But the most unusual thing of all was the sheer amount of energy the little thing had. Imagine a squad of cheerleaders at a coffee buffet. Throw in the Energizer Bunny and some ADHD, multiply by ten, shake (don’t stir) and you’d come mighty close to what the squirrel was like.

It. Was. Awesome!

As a result of the seemingly unending supplies of energy contained in the tiny bundle of fur and a lack of plans for the day, Liz had happily allowed Sarah to entice her over to her at the park for only a few honey-roasted nuts. They were delicious. Simply scrumptious! From that moment on, Liz the Squirrel had stuck right by Sarah (give or take about twenty feet) for at least thirty years. And she decided to follow her home, too. Or at least, she was going to follow her to wherever the girl was going. Despite the girl being friendly enough to introduce herself to an equally friendly squirrel, she had neglected to mention her destination.

But that was okay with Liz. She had no plans for the--

Twitch. Twitch. Ear swivel. Huh? Was that singing? Ooo! Forget walking to somewhere she didn’t know, she had to find that music! And she decided that sarah needed to as well. She scrambled up Sarah’s leg (in the back of her mind hoping that her claws didn’t hurt) until she huddled on the woman’s shoulder. On her haunches, she lightly pulled Sarah’s ear with one paw and pointed in the direction of the singing with the other. “EeeeHeeeEEEeehee!” she said, telling her what to do. They could go Somewhere later; they had to go to the singing NOW!

Some time had passed before anyone showed up, in fact, he'd been quite sure that his shell would give way before any rescuers showed up. IT was a real shame there were none of his six legged friends around to inject... he'd always though he would have one of those end of a novel deaths that really meant something. Oh well.. He couldn't stop singing now!

"Life's a piece of sh-""Hello? Anyone here?" Great, his favorite line, and someone went and interrupted it! How discourteous could you be? Well, best to tell them to bugger off so he could get back to singing! Oh wait, people meant rescue. Whew! Could you imagine what would have happened if he would have told them to go away? They might have... you know... went away.

"Is that someone?! Oh good, I was hoping someone would come along! Do come down and give a chap a hand, won't you?"

The sound would echo out of the deep quarry, seemingly coming from a tilted rock in the middle. He was on the other side, so they wouldn't be able to see him. "I seem to be stuck between a rock and... well... a much larger rock. I don't suppose who ever that is could... perhaps... come down and help out?" By 'come down' he meant climb down a rather unstable looking access ladder, but it was important to help your peers, wasn't it?

"I don't think there's quite enough time for you to run for help... So no skittering, please."

>>"Is that someone?! Oh good, I was hoping someone would come along! Do come down and give a chap a hand, won't you?"

Sarah wasn't too sure of what she should do. She stopped walking though. She was trying to pinpoint where the voice was coming from.

>>"I seem to be stuck between a rock and... well... a much larger rock. I don't suppose who ever that is could... perhaps... come down and help out?"

Sarah blinked. A rock? Who was she talking to? How did they get between two rocks? How did they survive being between to rocks? Sarah shook her head lightly. She was living in a city full of mutants. She needed to stop getting so surprised.

>>"I don't think there's quite enough time for you to run for help... So no skittering, please."

Sarah laughed at that. "I wasn't planning on leaving so soon! Though I doubt I can lift a rock!" she yelled out. She still couldn't figure out where the voice was from.

Before she could pinpoint the location of the voice, Sarah realized that the squirrel had started running off. The brunette smiled and ran after her furry friend. The squirrel had more of an idea of where they were going than she did.

Sarah watched the spunky squirrel go into one of the pits. She smiled as she looked along the edge for a ladder or some other way down. There was a ladder not far from her, but it didn't look safe. With a sigh, she began climbing down the iffy looking ladder. She was careful where she put her hands due to the amount of rust on the rungs. She wasn't too worried about her feet because of her boots. When she reached the bottom of the pit, she looked around. Now where did that squirrel go?

Liz scurried over scree and gravel as she gallivanted to the Big Rock. People were saying stuff, but she didn’t really pay attention. Words were so boooring and running was much more fun. So were Big Rocks, she was pretty sure. And so she wanted to get to the Big rock. Then climb it. Then dance on it. Then look underneath it. Maybe hide something there. Or find something there.

Oh wait, that’s what she was supposed to be doing already: finding something. But in this case, the something was actually a someone. Someones generally weren’t too exciting for squirrels. Sarah could be the only exception. But this someone had been singing. Good, too. So this someone could be another exception. I just hope I don’t meet anymore exceptions. Then I’d have to rewrite the entire rule. And that wouldn’t be fun. Because writing was boooring.

But as she came to the base of the rock, on the other side of it from where she knew the Singer-Someone could probably be found, a really loud bunch of words reached her tiny, cute ears. She froze in mid-hop, a victim of her instincts. Her nose twitched, sniffing the air for danger. Only then did she remember to listen to the words. How on Earth did she ever live as a human? All that stuff to remember and do. It must be really boooring.

But these words translated to something that would’ve made the mutant blush something fierce. There was a naked someone under the rock! A naked guy someone! She decided that she didn’t really want to look under the Big Rock anymore. She didn’t want to find something there.

So she clambered her way on up to the top of the rock. And just in case Sarah didn’t see the crane from where her limited viewpoint (in comparison to Elizasquirrel’s magnificent view from the top of the Big Rock) was located, Liz stood on her hind legs again and stretched an arm to point at it. “Chh-ch-ch-eeek-squeak!” she said, advising her on what to do. After all, squirrels always give good advice.

An antennae twitched in curiosity as he heard a chittering sound... The antennae poked out a little bit toward the sound, trying to feel it out. At this point, the antennae would be visible to the squirrel, though not to the woman, who was presently mentioning trying to get the crane started.

"Wait! Wait! Before you do anything... If you climb into the crane, you will be able to see me... I simply cannot have that... Tell me... do you have anything I could wear... Anything at all I could cover my indecency with? I would be eternally grateful!"

In his mind, a rating system was created... If she gave him something magnificent, he would rate it a 10, and not eat her. Anything 5 or below would definitely be an eatable offense, though. A 6... he would probably just take an arm or two.

"Eternally!"

>>"Wait! Wait! Before you do anything... If you climb into the crane, you will be able to see me... I simply cannot have that... Tell me... do you have anything I could wear... Anything at all I could cover my indecency with? I would be eternally grateful!"

Sarah wasn't exactly sure what she could give him. All she had on her was her jeans, button-up, hat, and jacket. The last two she could spare, though she'd probably be cold. It might work for him. The hat wasn't much, just her usual baseball cap. The jacket, however, was something her mother had bought her for her birthday. It had been pretty expensive too.

"Unfortunately, I only have my jacket and cap, that I can give you at least. Do you think that will be enough? It's not much."

She was taking off her mid-thigh length coat when she saw her furry friend jump off the rock. Whatever the squirrel was after, it seemed to be near the pinned man.

She landed on the stick and just didn’t stop there. She slid down it like a skater on a handrail until she landed on something smooth, hard, and slightly shiny. But then a giant-freaking-bug-hand pinned her to the thing! She squeaked and squealed in protest! “Hellllllllllllp!” she chattered. Ew, ew, ew, ew! It was so disgusting! With a capital UGH! And it was gross and probably slimy and had to have at least fifty thousand germs all over it.

Then the sticks wiggled around and attempted to bind her to them. She struggled and flailed around, using her rodenty agility to try to avoid the precarious pitfall she’d somehow fallen it. She danced and pranced, dived and jived, jitterbugged and cut a rug, all to elude her enemy. That traitorous stick! The last thing in the world she thought would’ve turned on her! Even as her movements were continuously hampered by the various appendages on the....wasthatahead?!

She was on a head! She was a-gonna die! tHe thing even said so! Noooooooo! She wasn’t a hat! She would make a terrible hat! every knew that raccoons made better hats than squirrels! she chittered that valuable information at the bug, hoping to negotiate her way out of this. She was much too young to be deadified! All those nuts to be buried. All those people to scold! all those hops that would never be hopped! Oh the humanity!

In the depths of her despair, Liz did the only thing she really could. She took out her stress by choosing to attempt to gnaw on the treacherous stick.