Change is good? (closed)

To busy wrapped up in his current thoughts and mental self-abuse Sam didn’t realize there had been a knock at the door if there even was one to begin with. All he knew one moment he was in his room by himself with no living thing but Cammie and Bruno next thing he knew a red faced Alexandra was staring at his unclothed figure.

Shaking his head slightly still in utter disbelief that she just walked in on him heading to the shower Sam froze not moving. ‘Maybe she won’t see me’ thought Sam in a lame attempt to stay invisible, Alex was not a dinosaur and as far as Sam could tell she had fair vision so his ‘Don’t move and won’t be seen’ plan just went out the window.

“Ghaaa-alright” mumbled Sam still a tad to embarrassed to move from the frozen position that he now held his arms at his side his chest and face aimed towards Alex and one leg facing the bathroom the other facing Alex. Slightly relieved but a bit disappointed as Alexandra turned to face the open hallway Sam could move again but still was to slow to react his mind still racing half of his brain trying to come up with something witty the other half screaming to his hands to grab the towel and cover up.

As she slammed the door Sam closed his eyes and tried to wake up from his nightmare turned dream. But this couldn’t be happening, she just slammed the door and remained in his room turning to take another look at him. Now his body reacted unfortunately his face reacted in a way he didn’t want it to act. His lips twitched as his eyebrows raised and his face turned blood red. His thought shot to his hands as they finally received the signal as Sam belatedly grabbed the towel and wrapped it around his lover half of his torso.

“I can’t leave now.”

He watched as her back expanded and contracted as if a sigh was let out or she was relived at something, his heart racing again Sam’s mouth seemed to move as he muttered at first but then spoke clearly, “Wh-wh- why didn’t you knock?” he took a step back in the direction of his clothes from earlier on the ground and continued, “And why can’t you leave?” he asked again mentally kicking himself for not seizing the opportunity that was being presented to him. His eyes remaining fixed on the back of Alex’s head so he would be more aware if she was going to turn again, if she did hopefully he could glance at her expression to see what exactly she was doing here.

Still slightly dumbfounded by the situation the blood soon ran from his face to return it to a normal completion as Alex continued to stare at the door and pretending to not know that he was naked behind her, or so he could assume. As she continued to stare at the door the image of Alex topless in the pool then her topless pressing her chest against him in the same pool, shaking his head to try and shake the thoughts from his mind he thought, ”Time and place for everything, now is not that time…” he had to focus on what was happening now, he just broke up with Leila and he was already feeling something for the girl in front of him who just barged in his room and saw him naked… twice!

There was no question about it, even if he wouldn’t admit what he was feeling for her was something special he wouldn’t verbalize it or show any clue to what he was feeling if he could help it. But then again, lately Sam hadn’t been the most rational person when Alex was around, his thoughts often strayed to her even if he tried not to think about her that way his thoughts and feelings often twisted his mind to the point he thought of her in a light other than one of a friendship.

“You think I wanted to see you naked?”

Trying to change the topic discussion in his mind Sam noticed Alex turning around again to protest his latest comment, “well seeing as how this was the third time you looked at me…” Sam replied noting that her eyes were trailing down to his torso slightly glad and slightly upset that a towel covered his lower waist down to the top of his knees. “Up here…” Sam said as he pointed up to his face trying to get Alex’s blood red face to look at his, which was now turning slightly red again.

“I’m going to turn around now.” To, uhmm, let you get dressed.”

As she turned Sam dumbly nodded running a scenario through his head, which would make everything less weird but seeing his current situation, and the past situations him and Alex had been through it wasn’t the time or place for it. “Probably a good idea if you’re going to stay in here…” he said as he slowly walked over to his dresser no longer immobilized by the gaze that Alex had put him under.

Opening a drawer Sam spotted one of the shirts that Leila often wore whenever she decided to stay at his place. Without even realizing it Sam tossed it on the floor as he picked on of his usual tight shirts and put it on. Closing one drawer and opening another Sam’s gaze peeked up to make sure Alex was still facing the door. After a minute of rummaging Sam had slipped on some boxers and some shorts and then put the towel over his shoulder and cleared his throat to let Alex know he was done changing.

Walking over and putting his towel on his rack by the door Alex was standing next to he turned his attention to it and placed his arm on his head as one remained by his side, “So can I ask why you seemed it necessary to stay in my room while I changed after stealing a few looks?” he put a grin on his face as he mentally kicked himself ”Smooth as always Sam, way to go you be blunt girls love that!"

Waiting for an answer he gazed into Alex’s eyes without realizing what he was doing. Something was defiantly affecting him he didn’t know what it was but he didn’t want it to stop. He liked the way he felt when he looked into Alex’s eyes his heart beat quickened as his hands twitch slightly in excitement the way a child’s hands twitch in excitement when they want to touch something that caught their eye but aren’t sure if they would get in trouble for it or not. So Sam refrained from touching but continued to stare until he was fully aware that his gaze had remained fixed and Alex far longer than it should have.

As she spoke and cut off her sentence Sam’s jaw slightly lowered as he stared at her opened mouthed, “You peeked again didn’t you?” he said slightly surprised that it was now four times she had looked at him because there was no way she could have seen his rear from the first three glances. Then he thought, ”Why are we both so casual with this?” Something was defiantly going on in her and it was making him feel both excited and uncomfortable at the same time and he didn’t want the feelings of awkwardness between them to stop.

“There is someone outside. I don’t want to be seen getting out of your room. I mean… not after the… errr, you know, pool incident.”

His jaw closed his mood quickly changing to a slightly grumpy one as he walked away from her and walked towards his bed to pick up the sleeping Cammie who let out a small grumpy meow. “You don’t want to be seen with me?” he asked curiously as he wasn’t exactly sure what she was trying to say. Then it clicked and he knew almost all the rumors that had been circling the mansion about the two, “Well the fact that you had seen me naked front and back a several times might not stop the rumors that have been circulating.”

Flashing a small curious look as he placed the small cat in his lap Sam’s voice found it’s usually plain tone, “So the reason you stayed in my room was clear enough but why did you come to my room?” he paused and looked from the cat up to Alex his eyes now watching hers, “What do you need?”

Despite the situation he found it quite comical that Alex had made no attempt to hide what she was doing despite it only embarrassing her more and more in the process. However funny it might have been Sam didn’t say anything just yet he was more hurt that she didn’t want to be seen with him, again he didn’t know he cared so much that she wouldn’t want to be seen with him and again he didn’t care to hide the fact that he was somewhat hurt by her verbalizing it. All rationality seemed to jump out the window for a moment as he continued to look at her, yet again his mind was waging a war on it’s self torn between staying where he was and just talking to tossing Cammie over his shoulder and throwing himself at her.

A fast shake of the head jarred his mind to stop fighting as he continued to pet Cammie his eyes trying hard to stay fixed on the cat he was playing with but found his eyes constantly trailing up towards Alex’s hypnotizing blue gaze. Sam felt frozen under that gaze immobilized as if she could freeze his body over in seconds then just as quickly shatter the ice surrounding him.

“Really, Sam…” “It’s not that I don’t want to be seen with you…” “But… you, well, you have a girlfriend, or so I hear…” “And me leaving your room… I think it could cause you some troubles if the rumors get to her.”

He watched her move the hair from her face and felt that every movement she made was fluid and like a work of art, it was then he realized what was going on with him, it was the only way he could rationalize his recent actions and thoughts he had been contemplating breaking up with Leila for some time he just needed a reason, and here she was standing in front of him. But Alex wasn’t a good enough reason he didn’t want to dump Leila simply because Alex was here and she wasn’t. It wasn’t fair to either girl and he wanted to be fair to both of them, no way in hell Alex would be the rebound girl she was far too great for that….

“Doesn’t really matter now what she hears…” Sam said quietly as he played with Cammie’s tail he knew he said it loud enough for Alex to hear, that is one of the few reasons my mood is what it is today…” he said through a fake smile as he looked up to Alex only to be pulled back down to Cammie as she let out a small meow and started to play with his fingers. Letting out a small sigh Sam looked to his phone and said, “Ex-girlfriend… broke up with her a few minutes ago…” he didn’t look up to Alex at that point but instead looked down to Cammie and continued to play with her trying to detach himself from the situation all tighter less Alex would deem it necessary to comfort him.

“I’ll be alright.” Sam lied again this time not smiling but rather laying down his head landing on Bruno’s thick chest. Letting out a small whine Bruno’s head lifted as he placed it right next to Sam’s and let out another small whine. “Kind of hard on a relationship when your girl vanishes without a trace for close to two months… again another reason why today sucks…” he sighed then responded to Alex yet again, “I’ll be alright, once the day is over everything will go back to normal o as normal as anything can get for me…”

Doing exactly what he didn’t want someone especially Alex to do after he mentioned a recent break up. He didn’t need the sympathy right now that only made him feel that much weaker and more depressed than he was right now. Watching, as Alex got closer to him his heart rate quickened slightly as she crouched down next to the bed and stared at him Sam turned his face to look at hers his eyes being trapped by her gaze once again. As she spoke not sounding as sincere as she had been since the conversation began Sam nodded to her somewhat of a question, “It was going to happen, long distance relationships suck when you can’t come in contact with your girlfriend.”

“You said there were a few reasons…”

Letting out a small laugh as he continued to watch Alex seemingly get more and more into the conversation Sam watched as she placed her elbow on his bed and leaned her head against it. “I did say that, didn’t I…” said Sam as if he remembered what he said and the meaning behind it but wished that Alex had forgotten or didn’t hear it. “You know when I was a kid I would have given anything to celebrate my birthday…” he paused now turning his gaze from Alex and looked at the ceiling as Cammie go up from his lap and walked up Sam’s torso into his chest and curled up in a ball, “After a time it stops becoming important when you're the only one to remember it let alone celebrate it.”

Feeling he was getting far to close to his history Sam finished it with, “Orphanages have the ability to rob most of the important childhood pleasures from anyone at a very young age. One of the reasons I truly hate today is all the memories that were associated with it, May twenty fifth was always a bleak day, one I would dread the day before the day of but celebrate it being over the day after.”

He paused and looked at her and said, “May twenty fifth is my birthday… I am twenty years old today…” he looked back from her and to the ceiling not really sure how to respond to her if she should wish him a happy birthday.

“Sam…” “I really hate seeing you like this.”

His head and eyes turned back to meet her gaze again and he gave a fake smile trying to sound sincere as possible, “I’m fine really, I’ll be fine…” he paused then reached out a hand to her face and stopped short, “seeing you with something other than a smile doesn’t help my overall mood either,” he said as part of his mind mentally kicked his flirtatious side in the head.

Nodding his head slightly as he continued to shift his gaze from Alex to the ceiling slightly irritated that she confessed that she knew that his birthday was today he was curious who else knew. One person was one thing but when more and more people started saying ”Happy Birthday” Sam was afraid that he might deck someone once he heard it a few times. It was bad enough Alex knew but luckily she had yet to say the two words he didn’t feel like hearing today.

The second Alex had touched down on the bed his heart skipped a beat as thoughts started racing in his mind, ”It’s not happening! Just broke up, she is no rebound!” his eyes trailed from the ceiling back to Alex as she was clearly looking at him. Mind racing almost as fast as his heart was he now wished he had the power to read minds to tell exactly what she was thinking… then again four peeks and her now sitting on his bed and looking at him Sam knew he didn’t need telepathy to figure out where this was going if Sam didn’t try and veer off to the side and pull the car over.

“Bad Memories,” Sam repeated after Alex was done with her story be it true or not. She had a valid point one that he knew he would have to accept if Sam wanted to truly be happy. But he had made a promise to someone as well as his self that he had to try and do what he could to make sure there wasn’t another ‘602’ let alone what number Ghost got. Regardless if it was to sacrifice his own happiness he was going to try and fulfill said promises.

If he wasn’t in such a deep trance of a thought process he would have given a reaction of some kind when Alex brushed up against his shirt as she was petting his cat. However as he continued to brood over what had been said Sam breathed in and then exhaled to reply to her questions and statements. “Your right…” he paused knowing that Alex would have been incapable of knowing how ‘Dark’ his past exactly was and seeing as he wasn’t going to tell her in fear of scaring her off or making her think differently about him he nodded and looked to her with a smile, “Your right, the past is behind me…consider it forgotten! I have people here now who care about me” said Sam as he lied about the forgetting. Without knowing reached out for Alex’s hand that was in her lap.

“Thank you…” Giving it a quick squeeze then rubbing his thumb for a second on her hand Sam realized what he was doing and snapped his hand away so fast Cammie jumped up and looked around surprised curious to see what the source was, “Ummmm…” Sam said his face blushing slightly as he scratched his nose trying to down play the hand snapping, “Sorry…”