Sir Gawan lay on his bed, with his arms folded behind his head, staring at the ceiling.
It was a very boring ceiling, really.
It was also the early morning after New Year's Eve.
And Gawain was trying really, really hard to wish Maya didn't exist.
And he was failing.
What the f*** was I thinking?...Gawain never really worried about the shifting, not even when his (and Maya's) body started playing additional tricks on him which had nothing to do with being a mutant and everything to do with hitting puberty. By that time he was alone and too busy trying to survive to actually care if his mutation was compatible with a long-term relationship. Or not.
Pathetic little half-lesbian cross-dresser.What the f*** was I thinking?...The big bloody truth was: Gawain liked being Maya just as much as Maya liked being Gawain. It was the full scale of experiences 99% of the people never get a chance to know. It was also fun, useful, and, strangely enough, felt completely natural. S/he was comfortable with it.
Or at last s/he had been, up until tonight.
What the f*** was I thinking?...Mirror knew for a fact that there were many people out there who would jump at the chance to date a gender shifter. For obvious reasons. He also knew it would not be extremely hard to find a nice girl who is okay with her boyfrined being her girlsfriend as well. And then there was always plan B - keep playing as Gawain/Maya, and never stay the night. Many women were okay with that too.
The problem was: none of those women were Twyla.
Who was sweet, and beautiful, and smart, and fun.
Who also happened to be his best friend.
And, last but not least, who was one of the few people who knew about the gender shifting.
What the f*** was I thinking?...She said she'd think about it. Yeah, right.
'I'll call you' and all that crap. Not like Twyla would lie to him, she was much better than that. But she was clearly confused, and she probably didn't want to hurt his feelings. Gawain was not stupid. You don't expect someone to turn bi just like that. Especially not for some brat like you. Things just don't work that way. And anyway, if someone deserved a guy who was a guy full time, it was Twyla. Somebody needed to catch that girl every time she fell.
Damn his ribs still hurt.
What the f*** was I thinking?...Gawain's mind wandered back in time to the kiss. It was a very nice kiss. Probably the only one he'll ever get from her, so might was well make sure he's got every detail burned into his mind. His mind that was still spinning from the memory.
Am I in love?
...
Well, love f*** sucks.He just really hoped things wouldn't get awkward now. It would have been great to date Twyla... but he also needed her as a friend, he didn't have many of those. Well, even if it never becomes anything more ('more' than friendship? Duh.), he still had the chance to stay friends. Friends was good. It was perfect.
...
Who am I kidding?...She said she'd think about it. She probably doing that right now. She'll probably talk to other friends (the kind that doesn't hit on her), and ask for their opinions, and Gawain shuddered at the thought of random girls in the Mansion talking about this mess. With a frustrated growl he rolled onto his stomach, and buried his face in the pillow.
Why does it feel like I'm waiting for a death sentence?...((
Music to go with it. This takes place after Gawain returned from his
night out with Twyla.))
