No, no, no, no! There had been progress, really there had been. Now Hokee was regressing to a point past where they had started from. Why did he have to mention leapfrog? Now the boy was stuck on not only French Fries, but French cuisine. Maybe if I hurt him more, the pain will make him wake up, he thought with a scowl. Alister had been very clear that he was to approach Hokee today, which didn’t make sense. The boy had to be able to understand why he was going for a joyride on a hospital gurney, but at this point Sledge doubted that Hokee even knew he was in a hospital.

Because it was today that he had to talk to the teen, Sledge had no other choice but to continue putting up with the insanity. More movement, more talking, and most importantly, do not let them wear out your patience. The more insistent that Sledge was, the better his odds of getting this whole job over with. “Not French fries, not frog legs. Nothing to do with food of any type.” Should he say nothing about girls as well? So far Hokee’s thoughts had been going around in circles as his consciousness went down the drain. Best not to bring the girls up again in case Hokee decided that being told to abstain from them meant he had some incurable disease again.

In any case Hokee was trying to get up once again, only to have his body fail him before Sledge had to interfere. To think that earlier he had worried that he was going to worsen Hokee’s injuries in transferring him to the gurney. At this rate the boy would end up offing himself before the drugs wore out. “No mate. Let the frogs attack the pretty pretty pony. We want to stop it.” Sledge was so grateful that none of those attractive young nurses were around to hear that, but even more thankful that no macho men had overheard him.

“What do you say we hop out of here for a minute? See if the fresh air clears up your brain?” He hadn’t thought that this would be needed, and thus hadn’t packed any actual clothes. This was a hospital though, and there were people who would be staying for a few days. Pinching something to hide Hokee’s bare bottom shouldn’t be a problem at all.

No food. Bummer. He really wanted McDonalds right now. This really sucked. How was he going to do anything if he didn't have a Double Cheeseburger? Life was not complete without two apple pies and now he really wanted those fries. Unicorns were making it so he couldn't eat. Evil creatures! If he could shake his fist with coordination, he would, but that wasn't an option. Darn medication causing him the lack of ability to actually function like normal.

"We need frogs. Lots of frogs." Apparently this was what they had to do. How frogs would stop a unicorn he didn't know. Maybe it was allergic to them or something or possibly had some strange phobia of them. Or maybe the unicorn is really a fly in unicorn clothing.....That had to be it! How big was the unicorn though, because he might be able to solve all their problems by just having a fly swatter. Or chop sticks. He was ninja enough to catch a fly with chop sticks. How many summer nights did he spend sleeping in the back of a truck and pluck the wings off of the startled flies?

"I'm not a frog." How was he going to hop? He couldn't even sit up on his own let alone hop. This nurse had a few screws loose, one fry short of a Happy Meal, not the brightest bulb, and most certainly not American. "My tongue isn't long, I can't eat a unicorn." That would have made more sense to the Brit if his brain was twirling about in a sea of morphine. Still, a little hop would be fun. Wait, he couldn't hop, he had that tube up his *cough* and attached to a bag. Looking over the side of the cart he started to laugh. "I lost my pee."

According to Hokee the way to counter the enemy was frogs. A herd of them. Plague? What was the technical term for a large number of frogs? While it was hard to believe the cause that Alister was rallying people for was what was thought of as full of sparkles, rainbows and sunshine, it was harder to believe that frogs would be a suitable counter measure. “You’ll ‘ave to go back to Biblical times to get enough.” From the outside it might seem like he was encouraging Hokee to muse about his morphine fueled schemes, when in reality he was trying to discourage them. Just saying no to frogs, which sounded like an eighties anti drug slogan, was simple enough. On a normal person that might be sufficient. Hokee’s mind was full of holes at the moment though. Saying no French fries translated, in some bizarre way, to having contracted AIDS. His plan was to provide a reason why the frog plan was doomed, and better to use a delusional reason.

Continuing on with poking holes in Hokee’s plans, Sledge next addressed the issue of eating the unicorn. “The tongue isn’t the issue. ‘s’not like a frog’s tongue needs to be incredibly long anyways. The problem is that your mouth isn’t wide enough.” He made a mental note to see if there was someone who could devour a full grown man. Surely such a mutant had to exist somewhere, and it would in the least inconvenience the man that they were going up against.

Lost his pee? Sledge glanced at the blanket, expecting to see a large wet spot. He didn’t know that the boy had a catheter, or notice when the bag that had been attached was left behind in the hospital room. No doubt the smell that such a left behind object would emit would clear a room. “Sheet looks dry from here,” he said. Without knowing what had been done on Hokee, Sledge could only assume that “lost my pee” meant “I wet myself”.

Hokee's head continued to look over the side of the transport. The pee bag never made it over, this was very strange. He couldn't remember the nurse pulling it off or anything. The only explanation was during the awkward transferring of beds, it must have gotten loose somehow. This was rather funny, with any hope and luck, the bag was left attached to his bed still and the contents drizzling onto Taylor. That was something he wouldn't mind being a fly on the wall to see, just not in unicorn clothing.

Rather confused hands started to pull the sheet up and off of his body and yanking up his hospital gown. There was still a tube there, and it was all stuck up in his, well it had to come out. He most certainly didn't need an extension to help him take a leak now. With a sloppy yank, his mouth cursed while going up a few octaves. "Fuuuuuu..." Be it the ending syllables to the word or an agonizing cough, there was a very sharp pain of reminder how tender the human body could be.

His body rolled to the side in as much of a fetal position he could get in considering the lack of ability to move about muscles in such extreme agony. Fly swatter, swarm of frogs, forget that, he was going to give the unicorn a catheter. Any prancing pony would sure fall down to their knees with that. From there then he could just step on it or whatever. Holy cow though, that really hurt like a mother. Holding himself, he was able to spit out one last thing. "Damn unicorn."

Sledge had purposefully avoided the topic of the fairer gender. Teenagers minds could be rather one track when it came to those they found attractive, and getting Hokee away from the topic the first time around. He had said nothing about girls this time around but Hokee was pulling away layers to reveal the suit under the robe. That undoubtedly was because of the medication, but what sort of drug has streaking as a side effect?

Streaking didn't seem to be the agenda though as Hokee began to remove something that had been stuck in his body. "Don't think that's such a good idea," Sledge said, but he couldn't do anything. Number one, he didn't even want to see what the teen was up to. That was just too awkward and painful. He didn't even have to see what Hokee was doing to know that. Half a swear, half a guttural noise, the pain was clear to hear. Number two, whatever it was that Hokee had, it had been there for a reason. Sledge had been careful not to jostle his captive too much when switching him over to the gurney because he knew that doctors don't just set you up on things at random. If Hokee had been provided with whatever that was, it had to have been for a reason. And finally, that was just something you can't help out with.

"Damn unicorn is right." Although it had nothing to do with Hokee being in the hospital, and surely nothing to do with the pain the boy just brought upon himself, it was easier to let Hokee think that the enemy was to blame. Getting him on the track of it had been hard enough. Anything that Sledge could pin on the unicorn at this point would be a good thing, even if Hokee was coming up with absurd reasons for cursing him. "Next time though, if there's something stuck to you, 'ave someone else take care of it though."

Not such a good idea. Really? What was the first clue to that one, other then the cupping of himself and the higher voice of discomfort? Even with his mind made out of mush right now, he knew that wasn't a great move on his own part now. Though what was he going to do, shove it back up there and ask nicely for it to be removed, yeah not happening. If it hurt that much taking it out, he didn't want to know how much pain it would be to put that back in. Stupid unicorns fault.

Wait.

Was that why he crashed? It had to be it. The driver that cut him off and sent him on the one way street in the wrong direction had to have been either the unicorn or one of their minions. Unicorns had minions....right? If not then, well...he still liked the idea of it all being the unicorn's fault. There was something amazing about being able to put full blame on something else other then himself. Honestly though, the accident wasn't his fault, he was trying to avoid hitting a car but ended up hitting something else instead...plus a car.

"This kills." Rolling the way he did, yanking stuff out. Smooth, just really smooth. "Stupid unicorn." This hurt way more then getting a kick in the nads, this was like...he couldn't think of what this could be remotely close to, but crashing into another wall would be better then this. Then again, the whole crashing thing didn't help his situation at all. "Whats it look like?" The specifics of what he was asking could be vague enough that an average person might not understand. Heck, he wasn't even sure what he was asking now. Did his pride look bad or was he inquiring about this unicorn....

Judging someone’s common sense is a little easier when they are in their right mind. Sledge did not trust himself when he was drunk. There had been too many choices that with the pleasant buzz in his brain and his body seemed to be wise but he regretted later on. Worse was that he was a giggling drunk. Giggling! As though he was a school girl! One would think that if you hate what you are like drunk, you don’t let yourself get that way. Of course if you thought such a thing you probably had never gotten utterly bladdered. He would deal with the giggles if it meant a great night.

“Of course it’s going to hurt!” he said, any brief feelings of sympathy he might have had for Hokee during the act evaporating. It had been a stupid move, even if the teen had otherwise been perfectly healthy and mentally capable. “They put that in you for a reason, and they’ve ‘ad proper training. You can’t even sit up right now. How the bloody hell did you think that you could do that without getting hurt?” The expletive glided out of him effortlessly. Hokee might not be particularly wise right now, but he got straight to the heart of the problem, if one wanted to think of needed medical equipment as a problem. A no nonsense sort of guy perhaps?

Sledge, for the sake of modesty, chose to believe that Hokee wanted to know what this Sebiroth looked like. “Mostly he looks like a man. A man with a horn growing out of his head. Just one, a long, pointed one. Long hair too.” Other than the horn the description bared no resemblance to the mythical creature. That was what helped Sledge to accept the possibility. Horned horses weren’t intimidating, but a human is. They were one of the most dangerous creatures, second only to an animal that can think like a human. It is easier to believe that Sebiroth was a threat if he was more human than horse.

The unicorn wasn't a horse unicorn but a human one? Now that was really messed up. Even with his head clouded with all the medications and pain, he could tell this was not something that was exactly normal. A man with a horn, a freaking man with a horn was going to end the world. Freak, major freak. He couldn't let a freak like that be in charge of the world. His own ego would rather it be him on the ruling end, not being under the authority of a freak man. Wait...man with horn, he had to be a mutant.

Uncapping his hands from his lower region, the dreadlocks youth pulled the blanket back up on his body. "Man with a horn?" Maybe he was hearing things, it was hard to tell what was real or not right now...but at the same time it wasn't. This was a very strange state of existence right now, lucid enough nothing made complete sense but still at the same time nothing seemed to connect correctly.

If there was one thing Hokee didn't like about mutants, it was the ones that looked like mutants. People like them made it hard for people like him to live a normal life. With a horned man running around trying to end the world, well that really didn't do well for him being a mutant. If it was a real unicorn that would be a different matter, but a human unicorn made things worse. Guys with long hair, that was stupid....unless the hair was in dreadlocks then it was cool. "Man has....Mutant?"

Something told Sledge that Hokee was becoming more aware. Maybe it was the drugs wearing off, or maybe it was the pain that he had just inflicted upon himself. Whatever it was David was glad for it. If it had been pain then why on earth hadn't he tried that earlier? Oh yes, the whole not wanting to kill him. Alister had been smart to send Sledge. The man knew how to bluff his way into a building but it would have been helpful if he had known something medical, someone who would understand what those charts had said and know how to respond to the different problems.

For now all Sledge could think to do is approach Hokee the same way one would a drunken friend at a bar. Inability to follow a conversation? Check. Babbling on about heaven knows what? Well, that had been earlier with the frogs, but check. A total loss of control over basic body functions? Check if loosing his pee meant that he had wet himself. Judgement was out the window as well. A person taken out of ICU was, it would seem, very similar to one who had a pint too many.

"Yes, man with horn." Speaking of drinking, after this was over maybe he should stop in a pub and get a drink. His date wasn't likely to notice that he had a start to the evening, and a cold beer was sounding better as time progressed. It was hard work talking to someone who by all rights should be sleeping and under the dutiful eyes of those who knew how to heal the human body. "Man with horn is a mutant. I hear that he's immortal, but even immortals can be killed."

Life was just f'd up to begin with, being a mutant was even more messed up, but a freaking guy who was a unicorn and was immortal was just over the top Damn! One thing was for certain, this unicorn guy had to be taken care of. Just one minor problem, he was feeling like utter crap and was not in any condition to do much of anything at all. There was a reason why he had been stuck in the hospital room and more importantly there was a reason why there were all those scribbles on his charts.

"How you kill immortals?" Not disable, not lock away, but he went straight for ending the life of the creature. Why? Well, why would anyone want a freak like that roaming about. It was messed up, and he certainly wasn't going to live his life with something like that about. It was freaks like that which made it impossible to live life calling himself a mutant. Thank goodness he didn't have any horns growing out of his own butt, or whatever else a unicorn man might have. One thing for sure, he was going to have to google 'how to kill immortal unicorn men'. Or was this all the morphine kicking in?