Backpeddling, that's what they called exactly what Lee was doing. She was trying to backtrack now and change what she said, Tarin wasn't ready to let it go though, not in his current mindset. "Then why would you say something like that Lee?" he jabbed, words short and clipped.

Lee seeemed to think it would be enough to say that her body reacted faster than her mind was able to keep up. Scientific fact wasn't at the forefront of his mind at the moment, but something niggling in the back of his head told him that this wasn't exactly the case. The fact that they were different, he and Lee, and that with them things didn't necessarily play by the normal physiological rules didn't matter. "I don't buy it." he said, still glaring in Lee's direction. "You don't have any trouble controling yourself any other time...but every time I get in a fight or things look shady, you have to step in and be the great protector."

They were getting to the root of the issue now, to the crux of the whole thing and Tarin didn't stop. "I'm not useless Lee." he said, voice raising agian. "I'm the one who's supposed to be protecting you, not the other way around. Why can't you just let me? 'Don't talk about Tarin that way..." he mocked bitterly, "I'm a man Lee..."

There...he'd said it, he felt very vindicated in a way. Maybe she'd undersatnd now.

Lee didn't know what to say; she was angry, they were both angry. There were always things said during arguments that weren't exactly the best things to say, or that weren't completely meant. Lee's anger was building again. She did understand that Tarin had been angry with her, and at David, but he simply was not letting it go, was constantly arguing, kept yelling at her.

"Maybe cause it was the first thing I thought of," Lee snapped back at Tarin. Her voice wasn't extremely loud at that moment, but there was a definite sharpness to it. "The first example of me 'stepping in and saving you'.

"Oh, you don't buy it," Lee murmured a moment later with a slight nod of her head. "Of course not. You don't actually believe that I don't notice guys looking at, don't think I could actually be that oblivious to something that is so obvious to you, so why would you believe this?"

But then Tarin continued speaking, his voice growing even more bitter than it had been as he complained about how she had stepped in to the fight with David. "I know you're not useless, Tarin," Lee said back, her voice raising to match Tarin's. "I know!

"But damn it, Tarin!" Lee exclaimed as she stared at his glaring face. "What do you want from me? I'd be dead if I wasn't able to react quickly to protect myself. Dead. Even before I met you. How the hell am I supposed to do that if I'm always worrying about if I shouldn't be 'protecting' you??"

Tarin was getting more frustrated…if such a thing were possible. Lee was absolutely tunneling on one specific aspect of the conversation and ignoring everything else that he said. Pinching the bridge of his nose to and squeezing his eyes shut, Tarin tried to push away the pain working its way up his jawline and the tension in his neck and shoulders that he knew was going to cause a headache later.

“Those are two different things.” Tarin said, voice filled with exasperation, and frustration, aggravation, and every other work a thesaurus could list to describe anger.

“I don’t buy it that you react first, and think later. If that was the case, you could have stepped in after I threw the first punch. You knew exactly what you were doing, and that’s what pisses me off. “

Tarin stopped and sighed, “And it’s not that I don’t believe that you don’t notice…god I sound like an ass…” He was still angry, and he still blamed Lee for what had happened, but Tarin started to realize that he was really being unfair in some instances. “I know that part isn’t your fault…”

Lee’s voice was raising now too, though and Tarin glared at her, “Then you could try acting like it sometimes. You’re always on my case lately. Like I don’t know any better, that I’d actually do something that would put us in real jeopardy.”

Tarin knew that Rupert was still a sore subject, Lee frankly didn’t want a thing to do with the man. Tarin took it there though, he felt like it needed saying since he hadn’t really been able to defend himself at that point. “You were so worried about Rupert turning us in that you were blatantly rude to his face when he was trying to help. It’s all this precaution, all this paranoia, but it’s all on your terms. It’s not right.”

"Yeah, I could have," Lee replied angrily. "I almost did, but managed to stop myself that time. It doesn't matter, though, does it? Even if I don't 'step in to protect you' ten times, it doesn't matter cause you'll only see that one time I do."

Lee took a deep breath and shook her head as she heard Tarin complain about how she was on his case lately. "Cause it doesn't matter if you mean it or not. I know you're trying, but one of these times, there's going to be a slip, we're going to be caught. That's why I'm on your damn case.

"Help?" Lee questioned, the shock clearly evident in her voice. "Just because he didn't turn us in because of our birth doesn't mean he was trying to help us. And honestly, Tarin, I don't care if you think it's right. He told us that the camps are worse than we imagine, or have you forgotten? The paranoia is the only way I can think to stay hidden, safe, short of locking myself in a room and not coming out."

The most horrible thing about what she had just said was that Lee had seriously considered doing exactly what she said. Had thought of actually locking herself inside somewhere, away from everyone; if no one was ever around her, they wouldn't be able to tell she was a mutant, after all. And with Tarin around, at least some of the time, in the mornings and evenings, when he wasn't at the shop, she'd at least be able to survive that physically. Mentally would be a different story, though; she was already having issues with how much time she was spending inside. But really, a bit of insanity was better than the camps, right?

"Really, Tarin," Lee continued, her voice raised as she glared at him. "I don't care. It's my life. So what if Rupert says they adjust things for people like me? How much do you really think they'll change it? It might not kill me as fast as I thought, but it'll still kill me."

As she spoke, ranted, Lee blinked, trying to get rid of the tears of fear and anger she felt creeping into her eyes. "So I'm being paranoid. So you don't like it. So what? I need to do something. What else can I do?"

Tarin ran his hand through his hair angrily, gripping it in the back and pulling slightly. "You just don't know what it feels like Lee...It's so...so...imasculating. Can you at least understand that? Can you?" His anger was failing though, it was getting harder and harder to stay as angry as he had been, the adrenaline was starting to wear off.

His eyes narrowed though and he shook his head at Lee as she spoke her next words, "You don't trust me..." he said softly, anger completely replaced now by hurt disbelief. "You're sure that I'd do something that would get us thrown into one of those places...you think I'd put you in danger like that." Tarin crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe, shoulders sagging as all the fight went out of him.

"I haven't forgotten Lee." Tarin said in response to her comments about Rupert, he really didn't have anything to say to her because the honest truth was that he was right. "He did come in off the street to check on me." he added just to remind her.

Tarin just watched Lee as she spoke, her problems were so much deeper than he'd thought. She'd really considerd locking herself in a room. She was that worried about the things he'd been doing.

Lee was a fatalist, a complete fatalist. Even if Rupert had said that the camps were as bad as they'd thought, even worse, he'd been sitting in their apartment when he'd said that. "It's fine Lee, feel that way. I can understand how you would. You don't trust me to take care of myself. How could you possibly trust me with yourself." So what if he was fixating, what Lee said hurt, and she probably didn't even have a clue what she was saying.

Lee continued to glare at Tarin as he spoke to her. He was still angry, probably would be for quite a while, but Lee could also detect a note of almost hurt creeping into his voice as well.

But Lee wasn't as shocked by the yelling, nor as angry anymore, so she thought about Tarin's question, really thought about it, before she opened her mouth to answer. Thought about it long enough that she heard Tarin's accusation that she didn't trust him.

"I understand," Lee said, a bit more bite to her voice than would have been there before hearing Tarin's accusation. "But what do you want from me? Do you want me to always stand back because now you're around to protect me, or do you want me to be able to protect myself when I need to? Cause honestly Tarin, I'm not sure I can do both."

And there they were again, Lee noticed as she took a breath. The tears. They weren't actually falling yet, but they were definitely there, and more of them than before. "And how can you think I don't trust you? You think I'd still be with you if I didn't trust you? But we're in danger without you doing anything, and I'm terrified, and the more people who know who we are, the more people who know what we can do, the closer we are to the wrong person finding out."

But then Tarin went on, continuing on the thread that she didn't trust him. Lee wanted to hide, if only for a couple minutes so she could think, try to calm down, but she couldn't. Tarin was blocking retreat into the back room with how he was leaning in the doorway, and even though she was mere feet from the door out to the street, Lee knew she couldn't take that route. Not with how she was currently feeling.

It was that thought that sent Lee over the edge, and the tears that had been in her eyes now started running down her cheeks. She didn't bother wiping them away as she looked at Tarin. "Do you really understand how I feel?" Lee asked in a whisper as the tears poured down her cheeks. "I'm terrified to be around anyone other than you. I'm scared to even step foot outside. What if someone bumps into me, touches me? I feel safer here than outside, but there's still people coming in and out all day. I do everything I can to avoid touching them without it looking too obvious.

"I do trust you, Tarin. I love you and want to actually get to marry you, but I don't even know how many people you've revealed us to."

"I just want you to look at things from my perspective once...just once Lee." Tarin said, shaking his head "You expect me to take you as you are Lee, why can't you let me have a little bit of me?" he pleaded, almost desperate, "I always cave Lee, always I know this sounds childish to you but please..."

Lee's next words got her point across loud and clear, but most likely not in the way that she'd intended. "So now I'm a child Lee?" he said, words soft but dripping with venom. "I can't be trusted to my own devices in case I slip up in my poor judgement? I see, I see real clear."

She was crying, and for the first time it didn't cut Tarin to the quick to see the tears rolling down her face. Didn't he understand how she felt? Of course he understood how she felt, she'd just bold face explained it to him, "I know exactly how you feel Lee. Exactly." he said, the words cold as they slipped past his lips. For the first time, he walked forward to where she was standing, not touching her or softening a bit.

"I know that you're letting this rule you completely." he said, looking her straight in the face, "I know that you're letting this fear paralyze you as compltely as if someone had already slapped a collar around your neck. You're not living anymore." Tarin shook his head, actually a little disgusted.

"I can't help you Lee, because I can't help who I am. You don't think they're looking for people being too careful as studeously as they are people who aren't?"

The last words were as stinging as the first, he didn't respond, just nodded his head slowly, lips pursed tightly as he walked past Lee and towards the door. "I'm going to go home." he said simply, "When you're not too scared to come out the door I'll be there waiting for you."

The door was still unlocked from when Lee'd unlocked it for David and Tairn pulled it open easily and walked into the cool night. David, Tarin wouldn't forget him soon.

"I expect...?" Lee asked, her voice barely a whisper. When had she expected that from him? She had never expected Tarin to be as alright with her powers as he was, had never expected him to be alright touching her nearly as much as he did. She had never even thought that half of what they had would ever happen. So how could he be saying that?

But Tarin was still speaking. She was crying, and he was still angry at her, still voicing that anger. That had never happened before; Lee had never seen Tarin stay angry with her while she was crying. Normally he rushed over to her, hugged her, told her it would be alright, to calm down. Lee had never seen or experienced this before, and it almost shocked her more than the yelling earlier had.

And it wasn't as if Lee had started crying to try and get rid of Tarin's anger. She had tried to fight it off, tried to keep herself from crying as long as she had been able to. She hated crying, especially in front of Tarin, so it wasn't as if she were going to do that on purpose now.

A moment later, Tarin was finally moving toward her, but his expression didn't soften. Lee simply stood there looking up at Tarin, listening to his words, the tears silently pouring down her face.

And then Tarin was saying he was going home. Was stepping past her to the door. Was going outside and walking away, without so much as a backward glance. And as she stood there, watching Tarin disappear around the corner, Lee had to admit that maybe he did have a bit of a point. She was too scared to be discovered, too scared of the collars, that especially at that point in time, she couldn't even go out to follow Tarin.

Tarin was out of sight now. Lee flicked the lock, then turn and made her way to the armchair in the back corner, where she curled up, wrapping her arms around her legs as she buried her face against her knees. To think and calm down.

Was Tarin right, was she taking her fear too far, was it becoming a paralysing paranoia? It did terrify her, though, the thought of being found, of having a collar strapped around her neck, of the pain from the collar driving her insane and killing her simply because she was unable to turn her power off.

But she also couldn't lose Tarin, and though she had rarely, if ever, actually thought of that as a possibility, after this fight it now seemed like it might be. But how was she supposed to deal with the fear?