It was the day after Christmas, and someone was feeling snarky.

Christmas time is here by golly
Disapproval would be folly
Deck the halls with hunks of holly
Fill the cup and don't say when

Not every Douglas Fir got its moment to shine; its week-long Christmas decking in pretty artificial lights, after a lifetime of being prepared for the slaughter. The slightly-taller-than-your-ceiling trees, the bald-patch-in-back trees, the kinked trunks and the surplus—they got tossed in a browning heap at the back of their sales lot, left alone to await January 7th: Mulchfest.

Kill the turkeys, ducks, and chickens
Mix the punch, drag out the dickens
Even though the prospect sickens
Brother here we go again

Until then, though, the slowly dying trees were a refuge for all manners of rodents, birds, and shifters that needed a break. Too much social interaction. Too many hand-knitted pink hats given as gifts, and too many mutation-crafted swords received in exchange. Too many... invitations to hang out New Year's Eve, if-you-know-what-I-mean.

The skunk curled up under the keeled-over spruce tree was physically incapable of blushing. And that, friends, was fine by it.

On Christmas day you can't get sore
Your fellow man you must adore
There's time to rob him all the more
The other three-hundred and sixty-four

So was the Tom Lehrer blasting out of the lone lot attendant's booth, in lieu of the more traditional holiday tunes that had spewed forth from those same speakers just a week before. The man was tucked in with an iphone and a cup of something steaming; at this point in the season, he was just here to make sure teenagers didn't light the whole stack on fire.

Leg cramps, stiff back....minor details about sleeping in one's car. Sure there was the option of sleeping on Travis' couch, but with the holiday and all he felt odd being in anyone's home. There was the option of sleeping at the mansion as well, but since he got his car he certainly didn't want to drive it there. Knowing his luck, and the legal Nazi guidance councilor's all knowing self, the moment he'd roll up to the property he'd loose his car till he was legal to drive for real. Since he got the car, he spent his time away from the Mansion, but he still had some stuff there that he'd like to grab. So what if he had been gone for five days or so. He couldn't keep track of how long it been, but his growing body knew it was getting cramped.

With his car parked at the Seven Elven, a bit of a stroll was in need. Hands shoved in his pockets while his squinted eyes looked for entertainment. It was strange this year, with the holiday...was it a good idea to leave what he had for this? Freedom was great, doing what he wanted was the best, lack of gifts to open under a tree was more of a hit then expected. Even the typical package under the tree of underwear looked good, hell he'd take just about anything right now. Well, if he was going to feel a bit miserable, there was only one way to change it....give someone a hard time.

Seeing a tree lot, he couldn't help but wonder who would seriously be wandering about in there looking for something to buy. More then likely it was who ever had split families and the poor half of the couple was getting the kids after the holiday. Curiosity stuck him as his feet passed through the entrance way and he was soon looking at all the rejected trees left behind in hopes for tinsel and lights. He couldn't help but feel the slightest bit of sympathy for some of the tipped over trees. These trees were just pathetic.

Kicking at the ground, Hokee soon became distracted with a rouge rock to chase after. It was in this rugged version of soccer, he found his feet soon brushing a tree that had something in it. Squatting down, his eyes squinted a bit more as an examination was in order. A white stripe down a black body brought a twitch to the corners of his mouth. Could this be the answer for his day of entertainment?With a twinkle in his eyes that would give a demon shivers, he went for it in an act of folly. Who would be stupid enough to grab a random skunk?

Merry Christmas Ms Taylor.

Picking up a skunk couldn't be much different then a cat or a dog. He'd have to risk the option of getting bitten or sprayed, but if he could manage to walk back to the mansion and let the thing loose in there, oh it would be worth it. Rabies was a minor set back in life if it resulted in....wait....brilliance was cooking between his ears. Be it that he was a guy, or just out to piss off the woman, he could picture him kicking down the front door and pulling a skunk tail like it was a machine gun trigger and let loose devastation.

Stretching out his fingers, it was time to take the plunge. "Come to papa." Skunk or not, any wild animal would be a hoot to let loose in a mansion full of freaks. Maybe he could hit up some spray paint on the walls of the school as well, leave a mark that they were freaks. That would really tick her off. This was just looking better moment by moment, but first he needed to get his hands on that skunk.

The booth attendant didn't notice the teen kicking a rock through his lot. Too be honest, he wasn't paid enough to notice. He pulled back his finger on the ipod's touch screen, and sent another bird flying. So angry; heh.

—I took it, and threw it on the ground!
I don't need your handouts!
I'm an adult!
Please, you can't buy me hot dog man!

The stripped skunk is well known for its acute senses of smell and hearing. Not so much its sense of sight; they were the definition of near-sighted. But who needed any senses, in a tree lot, the day after Christmas? The skunk snuggled its nose deeper into the odiferous pine needles, and let the base pump through its little body.

At the farmers market with my so-called girlfriend
She hands me her cellphone, says it's my dad.
Man, this ain't my dad. This is a cellphone!

A skunk's sense of touch is about average. Which is why that should not have been this skunk's first clue that it wasn't alone out here.

>> "Come to papa."

Real skunks did not come to papa. Real skunks threw papa on the ground. The skunk squirmed and hissed, claws uncoordinatedly swiping at the hands that were dragging it out of its cozy winter shelter.

Good thing for Papa that this skunk hadn't mastered moving in this form yet.

"Damnit." The skunk was wiggling worse the a worm getting hooked for fishing. The critter should be glad it was only getting picked up and not being speared. Still, he should be slightly concerned about what he was doing, he was holding a skunk after all. Maybe he should take off his coat and cover the skunk. If it couldn't see him, then it shouldn't be able to bite him. Didn't people do that when taking in cats to the vet? A skunk couldn't be much different then a skunk. "Stay still."

Holding the skunk out away from his body, he started to make his way out of the tree lot. The look from the attendant was priceless and from that he got a brilliant idea. This skunk was destined to be the new pet of one Ms Taylor. He couldn't tell for sure or not, but he was sure the attendant squirmed a bit as he walked past and he wasn't sure if it was the music the guy was playing or his own mouth that shout out an obscenity. In attempts to keep a hold of the wiggling skunk, he waved it at the attendant while keeping his eyes glaring. Oh yeah, he had a skunk and he um...knew how to use it.

Car or walk....car or walk....car or....I don't want skunk butt smell in my car. It was determined, he was going to be walking through the streets the day after Christmas carrying a skunk. It was NYC, people must have seen stranger things happen all the time. Didn't a lot of movies and crap film in the city? There must have been a stage skunk at some point in time. If only he could think of such a movie then he might be able to get some extra cash telling people it was a star in some movie. He was drawing a blank.

A large bag would be nice...or ductape. If he had a collar and a leash, would the creature skit about before him like he needed it to? Thinking this through beforehand would have been a much smarter thing to do, maybe next time he'd work out the details. A really thick garbage bag might work. Maybe he could stun the skunk by whacking it upside the head...but that would mean letting go of the skunk and crossing his fingers he could actually smack it before getting sprayed.

"Stinker stay still or you'll turn into road kill." Chances of a skunk actually understanding him were about as good as him ever being on the honor roll. Yeah, not going to happen. His pace down the street quickened. He certainly didn't know how long he could avoid getting torn into pieces from crazy skunk claws. Getting the skunk into the mansion better pay off, if Taylor wasn't a damn adapt, he'd hide in a shadow in her office to see the reaction. Stupid women and her ability to make his genetically inherited talents worthless. No respect for him none at all.

You know what was stupid?

Threatening a skunk.

Yeah, punk: because real skunks spoke English. If he could just—with the wiggling—and the figuring out how to spray this guy in the face—!

Oh, punk. You got lucky. It was your lucky, lucky day.

By the time they got to the Mansion, the Teenage Mutant Delinquent had a very angry, very tired skunk on his hands. It was still making token efforts to scratch a hole through his arm, but mostly... it was dangling from his grip, and panting.

So lucky. So lucky that Calley hadn't figured out how to activate this form's glandular defense system. Because when he did...

Might be a good idea to put the skunk down, punk.

If he wasn't trying to keep himself quiet and discrete, it would have been very easy to laugh his head off at the skunk. Who would have ever thought he'd get it from the tree lot all the way to the mansion! This was amazing, maybe he was some natural skunk whisperer or something. Not a skill he'd ever thought about having, but it might be handy. Best part, he hadn't been skunked yet! Now this was something to be rather excited about. Though, hopefully it would start spraying like crazy once it got loose inside Taylor's office.

Inside the mansion was a bit trickier to navigate about. The biggest problem was to avoid drawing any attention to himself, or the skunk. He might be the master of the skunk now, but that didn't mean someone else might trigger it off. Honestly it didn't matter which direction he held the creature, in the end he would be walking right into the line of target in the end. He should have stopped at a nuclear plant or something and get one of those Hazmat outfits.

Man I really could go for a double cheeseburger right now. The squinted dark eyes peered down at the skunk in a fashion in which french fries shivered.

Opening doors was going to be tricky, and risky. Shuffling the skunk about, he went for the unthinkable, trying to shove it into his coat while he was wearing it. Putting a skunk in his coat couldn't be much different then stealing something out of a store....other then the whole bite and scratch thing going on. Though once the claws got near his chest, the change of heart kicked in and he looked for an alternative.

Empty garbage bin. Bingo! Walking into the mansion with a garbage bin had to be a more common sight compared to walking with a skunk. Who would question him once he got inside the mansion with the bin? All sorts of freaks lived there, and he was sure they all had their own fair share of trash....plus he could always try and catch that monkey girl with the trash bin after depositing the skunk in the office. Two for one deal! "Got a nice little box for you...." Skunk meet empty trash bin!

He was a skunk dangling from a punk teenager's hand.

He was a skunk being shoved down a punk teenager's shirt.

He was a skunk being shoved into a trash can.

This was Calley's evening. This is the way it was going. This was the state of the world. Kids these days: they deserved a thorough and proper mauling, each and every one of them.

Just as soon as he could shift to tiger, he would be sure to eloquently express this opinion. He only had another... few hours? Yes.

Yes. The skunk bore its boxing with tuxedo-stripped pride. It could bide its time. It could wait. It knew where the kid lived.

A skunk in a trash bin was much easier to handle then a squiggling skunk in his hands. The trash bin also offered a slight bit of protect from the animal if it decided all of a sudden to spray him. Thankfully he wasn't doing anything harmful to it really, then he would have been sprayed for sure. Perhaps once he got it into Taylor's office he could tie empty cans to its tail or get paint for it to walk in. So many good ideas and he hadn't even really started yet! Putting the bin down for just a moment, he took the time to cover his head with his hood and tuck away all his dreadlocks into his clothing. He had to be sneaky now, couldn't let people know he was wandering about and most certainly didn't want Taylor to catch him.

Keeping his eyes away from the others, he could spot a few brave sods who decided to play out in the brisk winter weather. Fools. Though, he didn't have much room to talk, how long ago was it now that he was out tromping in the snow trying to make an ice rink out of the frozen pool? Days long ago for all he cared. Sure the food was free and he could sleep there, but he wanted to push himself away from the place as soon as he could. There were just to many mutants there, to many freaky mutants.

Moving across the yard, he kept his focus on the garage. He could get in through there and no one would question someone bringing a trash bin there. Inside the mansion he would have to think of something else to carry the skunk in....he could swing by the laundry room and see if some idiot left their bag there....even better if there was dirty stuff in it to leave laying around the office. Oh this was beautiful, this was wonderful this was, CODE BLUE! Turning sharply he avoided contact with a mutant he was certain he recognized from the hallways.

His pace quickened as he punched in the code he remembered for the garage. Thankfully it still worked, though he wasn't sure how long it would stay that number. Oh well, not like he planned on hanging around the place much at all. The less time he spent here, the better...unless he was unleashing havoc in a certain person's office. Cracking the door for the kitchen, he made sure the coast was clear before heading through the hallways. Please be someplace other then in your office hag. Skunk, trash bin...nope nothing suspicious here!

A lobster was too good for the guy; a mouse was surprisingly agile and combat-worthy. A toad... a toad had potential. Relatively slow, weak, pathetic.... but unfortunately toxic to skunks. At least, the Colorado river toad form that Calley had was. That left him with one option, and one option only: a puppy.

Only the most stupid, insipid, mentally deficient of creatures would do. To all these synonyms, a puppy could only hope to one day aspire.

So it was settled then. As soon as he got out of this can, as soon as this mentally deficient idiot was insipidity stupid enough to touch him again, the guy was getting shifted into a puppy.

As soon as he got out of this can.

Just as soon.

...It was really dark in here.

Quickly making his way around one last corner, he stashed the garbage bin for a moment to creep up on the door of desired destruction. Peeking through the key hole, he listened very closely. There was nothing inside, and he couldn't hear any rustling of papers or anything. Was it really empty in there? Tempted to kill the lights, the realization that his powers would do nothing if she was near him sunk in. Stupid adapt. Why couldn't she have squid feet or something else....though he was sure whatever she looked like, his distaste for her wouldn't change for the better.

Turning the door knob, he gave it a little bit of a push. Putting his back against the wall in the hallway, his ears searched out the slightest of confirmation that he wasn't alone. Sliding down against the wall, he dug in his pocket till he found his pocket knife. Pulling a blade out, he tried to use it as a mirror to see if it was safe. Such a small mirror, but it had to work. Deciding it was clear, he instead went to retrieve the trash bin with his skunk.

Dark squinted eyes flickered up and down the hallway, hopefully he wasn't being watched. If he was..well there wasn't any going back at this point. Swiftly sauntering into Mama T's office, he tossed the trash bin to the middle of the room not caring in one way or another if it stayed up right or not. Yes it was night the skunk didn't pull aim and target him with a new cologne, but now was the time for the skunk to get busy. Looking around the office, the teen started to chuck books at the trash bin. He needed an angry skunk, he needed an angry skunk that was going to spray the room with foul smells..."Come out and play Pepe."

There was silence. A pause, a lack of movement: he'd been set down. Did he hear footsteps moving away? Hard to tell, either because the stepper was sneaky, or the trashcan's metal walls were non-conducive to sound. Were they at their destination? Was he just being left here, alone, in a trashcan? Probably in someone's room, as a pleasant surprise. That punk kid. Well, Calley wasn't going to play into his hands. Calley was going to be on his most gentlemutantly behavior when the owner of this room kindly let him out to be—

Thrown. To. The ground.

There was a brief moment of same-old same-old as the punk picked up his can and walked a few more feet; it did little to prepare him for the brief moment of weightlessness, and the sudden crashing impact. The can dented. The skunk fwamped.

Thunk thunk thunk thunk!

And the guy wasn't done yet.

>> "Come out and play Pepe."

Oh, Pepe was coming. Screw gentlemutant; the skunk rolled back to its feet, and started scrabbling at the sides of the can. There was a lid somewhere around here.

Scratch scrape rattle kick!

Oh yes. Pepe was here.

And Pepe had finally gotten in touch with his inner perfumist.

The skunk showed its rear punk-wards, lifted its tail high, and did what skunks did best to jerks that shoved them in trash cans and threw things at them. Did it. To. The face, or as close as his first try at aiming would land him.

The sound of a skunk waddling about inside a metal trash can was priceless. It was like a tap dancing snare drum. How hilarious, it was impossible to not laugh at the sounds, and even more so the sight that soon followed. Aggravating the skunk wasn't the smartest thing to do, but it seemed to be doing the trick. With the twitching of the tail, he knew for sure things were going to get a bit foul, and quickly. Backing away from the skunk, he tried to veer away from the direct line of what might come out.

The smell hit the room, one that anyone with half a brain could pick up on. Stumbling about in the office, his arms knocked over various items. The skunk was agitated, maybe it was a rabid skunk after all. It didn't seem to mind him for the most part, that was until he started throwing stuff at the can to peeve it off. Oh well, there was no turning back now, he was here to raise hell and that was exactly what was going on.

"Good Pepe, keep playing in Stinky Taylor's office." Coaxing the skunk on, hopefully it wouldn't stop spraying. The whole point of bringing it there was to get it to do skunk stuff in there. Oh, maybe if he was lucky he could get the skunk to rid itself of its own waste and such. That would be epic. Not knowing personally want skunk poo looked like, it would be a highly 'educational' experience.

She turned the corner in the hallway just in time to see the prodigal brat set a skunk loose in her office.
Another normal day at the Mansion.

The stink was quickly filling the hallway; the animal was obviously scared and confused. Hokee, even with his back to her, looked pleased with his plan, as simple as genius, and didn't even seem to mind the smell.

Anger flashed in Gemma's mind; she did not need to deal with all this. One word, and the kid would be behind bars. Too bad she was such a nice person at heart.

Not nice enough, though, not to be a mother and a teacher, and those two have one thing in common: they like teaching lessons.

Walking up quietly to the door, she took a glance at Hokee, observing his work as a general on a battlefield; and the skunk that... started to look weird.

Just in time before either could escape, Gemma pulled the door closed, and locked it from the outside. The idea might have been brilliant, but she was the woman with the key.

It would be hours until he could shift to any form but this, but Calley was using his time wisely. A wild skunk can spray distances of three meters with accuracy; he was getting in some quality target practice.

It would be hours until he could shift to any form but this, but... Calley suddenly felt something that wasn't his usual happy brain click. It was more of an unpleasant brain mush, and he was changing back against his will, and before his power was ready for it.

The world was an alarmingly disorienting place. He was pretty sure he was sitting still, but it... was sort of woozily spinning, all around him.

The click that came wasn't from his head; it was from the door that was by the wall that was sort of over there if it would just-stay-still.

New Guidance Counselor had just locked him in. Locked them in. Locked him in alone with the punk.

"I'm am going to kill you," the shifter wheezed. "Just as soon as you stop... moving."

He was naked and smelly, and this wasn't his fault. It actually wasn't. Yeah. Yeah, the kid was going to die.

There were certain things that he really honestly should expect, more so while he was roaming about the mansion but unfortunately Hokee never seemed to think of such things. Yes, there was always that thought in the back of his head wondering where the woman of his hatred was in the vast multitude of the place. The biggest concern he had though right now was avoiding getting directly sprayed by the skunk. Showering in the YMCA wasn't his top pick of a place to go to clean up, not after getting stuck in there with Mr. Super Old Saggy guy....the nightmares that followed that....shuddering thoughts....

Picking up a stapler from the desk, he armed himself with the only weapon he could find, that wasn't a book. Sure it might not look like much, but he might be able to staple the tail down to the floor. The corners of his mouth twitched with excitement, it was worth the risk of getting sprayed if he could actually manage stapling the skunk to the floor.

Click.

His head turned sharply to see the ugly face of disappointment. This was something he could expect, though what brought a premature pump of the stapler was the male voice. He knew it wasn't him talking, yet he could empathize with it greatly. In a way it was like a TV voice over....wait...moving? Looking for his skunk to staple, his squinted eyes grew in size. There was a naked guy on the floor.

Okay, he knew she was a messed up lady, but holy cow this just added to it all. She kept naked kids in her office? His eyes flashed about looking for his skunk when the cold reality of truth hit him like a brick wall. She was an adapt, she made mutants normal and....he totally needed to wash his hands asap. The skunk wasn't a skunk but a naked guy. Great, just what he wanted to do, carry around a naked guy and get stuck in an office with Taylor. Suck level for the day was at an all time high.

"Hell no."