Isn't it rich?
Are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground,
You in mid-air.
Send in the clones.

Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around,
One who can't move.
Where are the clones?
Send in the clones.

Just when I'd stopped opening doors,
Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours,
Making my entrance again with my usual flair,
Sure of my lines,
No one is there.

Don't you love farce?
My fault I fear.
I thought that you'd want what I want.
Sorry, my dear.
But where are the clones?
Quick, send in the clones.
Don't bother, they're here.

Isn't it rich?
Isn't it queer,
Losing my timing this late
In my career?
And where are the clones?
There ought to be clones.
Well, maybe next year.

set to be our guest.

Do your best
Do your best
Put my patience to the test
Tie a wire 'round your neck, cherie
And I provide the rest
pain du jour
Hot Irons
hey, we only live to carve
Try the red stuff, it's delicious
Don't believe me? Ask the wretches
They do sing
They do dance
After all, Miss, this isn't chance
And a prisoner here will never ever rest
Go on, devise your escape
make a dash and then you'll
do your best
put, our patience
To the test

Iron Maidan
Water torture
hair and fleash "en flambe"
We'll prepare and serve with fear
A macbre cabaret
You're alone
And you're scared
But the torture's all prepared
No one's gloomy or complaining
While the horsewhip's entertaining
We tell jokes
you take licks
With my Iron beatingsticks
[Mugs:] And it's all in perfect taste
That you can bet
[All:] Come on and lift your chin
You've won your own free pass
To be my guest
[Lumiere:] If you're stressed
It's your whining I detest
[All:] do your best
do your best
do your best

[Lumiere:] Life is so unnerving
For a prisoner who's preserving
You're not whole, without a hope to wait upon
Ah, those good old days when you were useful
Suddenly those good old days are gone
Ten years you've been dying
Needing so much more than crying
Needing exercise, a chance to stop our skills
Most days I just lay around the dungeon
Crabby, bored and lazy
You walked in and then it began!

[Mrs Potts:] did your best
My reluctant guest
Still alive, well I'll be blessed
blood's been poured and thank the Lord
I've had the napkins freshly pressed
With torture
you'll obey for free
And my dear that's fine with me
While you will do your soft weeping
I'll be flogging, I'll be screaming
the ants swarm
searching alot
honey drips! drop by drop?
Clean it up! We want the company well fed.
I've got a lot to do
Is it one lump or two
For you, our guest?
[Chorus:] to the test
[Mrs Potts:] do your best
[Chorus:] to the test

Be my guest
Be my guest
my command is your quest
It's ten years since we had anybody here
And we're obsessed
With your will
With some ease
Yes, indeed, you'll aim to please
While the candlelight's still glowing
Let us help you
We'll keep going

strike by strike
One by one
'Til you shout, "Enough! I'm done!"
Then you'll scream your way to sleep as you digest
Tonight you'll let your will break
But for now, you're beat up
did your best
did your best
failed the test
damn,I've killed the guest