Ooc: Continued, out of order from: Broken Glass

They were in her room. After everything that had just happened it was the only place in the world she could think of that they could be alone. She couldn't imagine being anywhere public but as it stood the walls at the mansion were still thin. She could hear some kids running up and down the hallway and even hear far off blasts from the danger room.

She pulled out her computer chair for Luke and motioned for him to sit even though she knew he couldn't see it right now- it was just so much a force of habit. She took the bed and felt her body completely relax once she sat down only to tense up again. She sighed.

She stared across at him feeling a mix of emotions. She was hurt, partially excited to know she wasn't crazy about the dream, embarrassed over how things went down, angry she didn't know about his power loss yet, nervous he'd leave her... ok so make that scared. But on the surface all she felt was blank. Just blank. Probably still the shock of it all. Who'd ever think Rupert would want her back?

She found herself wondering for a moment what it would be like to be blind. Without thinking she closed her eyes and nearly had a panic attack from the darkness. Closing her eyes had never bothered her before but it probably wasn't the best idea given her emotional turmoil. They shot back open and she remained silent never giving a hint away that she'd just scared herself trying to experience life as Luke.

Would their relationship be different if he could see her? Were there little subtleties that he was missing that would strengthen their bonds because of his blindness? Or was it somehow more acute?

Their relationship had been through so much, and while she sat thinking about that her stomach twisted in knots.

"I don't know what to say." she finally said out loud because it was the truth. She didn't know if Luke even wanted an explanation or if she could give him one. Yes, she hadn't told him she'd be meeting Rupert but considering she didn't know they were friends it hardly seemed like her fault. She couldn't control that he'd magically had a change of heart and wanted her back. Luke knew she was desperate to find out the meaning of her dream and know if Rupert had had the same one. yeah, she hadn't told him everything but she didn't lie. And she told him about her power loss the second it happened. Meanwhile she finds out through Rupert.

She was feeling more and more defensive as she thought things over. Normally Raina would be so level headed and accept share of the blame for things like this- but she was feeling so vulnerable and thrown into the spotlight her mind was screaming at her to put her defenses back up.

Luke couldn't remember if he'd ever been in Raina's room before. He had been in the mansion and they had spent time together here but her room was in the girl's section and for the most part having male guests was frowned upon. It was kind of disconcerting to realize that even today when he left, the fact would still remain that he had never seen Raina's room. Sure he was now present, standing in the room but he had no clue what anything looked like. He didn't even know where anything was. After the X-Men meeting it had been obvious they needed to talk and so here they were.

Slowly moving his cane back and forth, he bumped a piece of furniture and reached out to feel a desk. As he remember it, most desks had chair in front of them and so after a few more moments of looking he found the computer chair. Slowly lowering himself into it, Luke placed his hands on top of his cane and then lowered his chin to rest on top of his hands while his sightless eyes stared off at some undetermined point.

"What now?" He wondered as he tried to come up with something to say or do. There were just so many questions rushing through his mind that he was at a loss. He loved Raina, loved her more than anything, but after seeing that Rupert still wanted her, could he really ask her to stay with him? Sure, Rupert had done some bad things in the past, but that was Raina's first love. Could Luke compete with that?

"I don't know what to say." The softly spoken words hung in the air, allowing the two of them to think and consider what was said. What was the next step? What could they do now? Was there even still a chance that this relationship could move forward or had they already had to many secrets for things to work out?

"What is there to say?" Luke asked quietly, "Rupert's a good guy and I can't blame you for whatever your decision is."

Raina's eyes widened at his response. "what?" she practically yelled. "How could you even say that. The guy shot me. Knowing him this is some dirty trick to infiltrate the mansion or something." she spat. "or pay me back even more for being a mutant by sabotaging my relationship." She wasn't sure if she honestly believed those things but she was so used to reacting to Rupert with distaste that it was hard not to.

"I can't lie to you and say it didn't mess me up to dream about having a baby with the guy- but I'm glad I talked to him and I wont apologize for that because..." she trailed off for a moment. "because now I know I'm not crazy. " she went silent. The words hung in the air. "I'm not some baby-wanting-get-back-together-with-insane-ex kinda girl." she snapped "So please don't think that of me." she said more softly and quieter.

"You're the person I love Luke, don't you get that? I can't just flip a switch and turn it off because it's suddenly becoming muddled up by an ex lover." her voice was quiet and sad.

She dropped down to the floor in front of him and hugged his legs leaning her head against his knees. He'd be able to feel how hard her heart was pounding.

there was still so much to say, so much more that had to be explained and worked out. But she couldn't help the lingering questions "How did you lose your sonar?" her voice cracked as she asked it.

She was hurt that he thought she'd even consider leaving him for Rupert. She'd admit- only to herself- that the whole seeing him again stirred up a whole bunch of emotions- some of them fleeting remnants of their relationship. She didn't expect though that Rupert would follow through and try to win her back. He was just as shaken up as she was about the baby dream, that's all. Right? Because the last thing she needed was more drama with Luke and an old flame's shoulder to cry on.

Luke froze as Raina's volume increased dramatically. He hadn't expected her to get angry like that and he hadn't meant to cause that sort of emotion. It wasn't that he'd been sure she would run back into Rupert's arms or anything like that, but he wouldn't have blamed her if that was her reaction either.

"I'd NEVER think you crazy or stupid or anything like that Raina." Luke responded before he heard a quiet thump in front of him and then felt Raina hug his legs and lean up against him. Setting his cane to the side Luke reached down and gently ran one hand through her hair while his other hand moved down to rub her back. "I love you too Raina but part of that is wanting you to be happy. I wouldn't like it, but if you were happier with someone else that's what I would want for you."

For a few moments they were silent. Luke could feel her chest expanding with each breath and he even though he could feel her heart racing from the emotion and tension that filled the room. Finally she asked the question that he had wanted to avoid but at the same time knew was coming.

"I... I got called out to King Pharmaceutical along with a lot of the other X-Men. They were out to destroy some sort of virus that I guess you had probably heard of. Anyways, we were starting to head inside when Calley and several others blocked our way." Luke said quietly, his hands momentarily going still as he remember that day not so long ago. The fact Calley had chosen to turn against the X-Men had been a shock and even though Luke had tried to talk him out of it...

"A battle started and I ended up facing Calley. I tried to convince him he was doing the wrong thing and to let us pass but he was just spoiling for a fight. He attacked and I had to use the new sonic blasts."

The images of wave after wave of animals charging him were still fresh in his mind. Subconsciously he could still feel the vibrations moving through the ground as the huge and the small charged him.

"Tarin tried to help but I shoved him away so that he wouldn't get hurt. I didn't want to hurt him but I couldn't control it. My sonic blast changed and became something even more powerful. A sound laser or something like that. I killed a couple of his animals forms but not before I got torn up myself. Just before I passed out I killed an elephant. I thought I was dieing but then I woke up. I guess someone had taken me to Doc Prof or something. Anyhow, my body was healed but my sonar has been gone ever since the fight."

Luke fell silent as he tried to come up with the words that would explain why he hadn't told Raina. Really she should have been his first call but he'd held back. Why?

"I should have called you. I should have told you, but I didn't want to admit it to myself." Luke said again, slowly shaking his head before he let his head slump so that his chin rested on his chest, "I'm really blind now Raina. It's not just that I can't see colors the way everyone else can. I can't even see your expression anymore. I can't compliment you on your clothes, or whistle because of how attractive I think you look. I can't watch you perform at the aquarium or even help out the team on a real mission. According to my blood I'm still a mutant but I... I just don't know!"

"I love you too Raina but part of that is wanting you to be happy. I wouldn't like it, but if you were happier with someone else that's what I would want for you."

"Well Im not as nice as you are." she started "I just want you to be with me." she sat quietly as she listened to his story of how he lost his sonar.

"A battle started and I ended up facing Calley. I tried to convince him he was doing the wrong thing and to let us pass but he was just spoiling for a fight. He attacked and I had to use the new sonic blasts."

"Calley?" she remembered Calley. Sort of. Teen? Wasn't he on their side? "That's... vexing." she added.
Raina had only experienced Luke's sonic blast once but they'd spoken about it several times. She knew it took a lot of his energy. She hugged him even tighter as he explained the rest of the battle. "They sent you to find Haywire. A battle that shouldn't have even been yours to begin with, and where was I?" She was angry with herself now. "blissfully unaware. If I'd been there maybe this wouldn't have happened."

She went silent. "My boyfriend thought he was dying and I wasn't even there." there was no mistaking the sob in her voice. "I'm sorry Luke. I should have been there.' she added

"I wish you felt like you could tell me... but I understand you were in shock." she said carefully even though it didnt make sense for her feelings to hurt anymore they still did. "I think maybe you overexerted yourself. Stress does amazing things to the mutant body. We're just a bunch of blood mutants without powers now.' she said referencing the fact she couldn't use her powers right now either. Well, at least part of her powers.

"I wish I knew sooner. I know what it's like. in the camps they did everything they could to stop our powers. Then after Paris I couldn't sing. Now... I can't transform. Its not the same as losing sight I know that.. but you still feel suddenly so powerless and helpless. Relying on others. Wanting to help but not being able to. "

She gave a sigh. "Your sonar will come back." she assured him even though there was no way she could no that for sure "and there are other ways to see." she reached up and pulled his hands to her face where hot tears were spilling over. "We'll make it work." she was trembling a bit. This was all so much.

After another moment of reflective silence she said "I still can't believe Rupert and I had the same dream. My boss thought it might have been influenced by another mutant. Maybe a dream manipulator, reality warper? Maybe even Naveed who knows. but from the sounds of it Tarin and Lee had a similar dream too." she whispered. She didn't know Tarin and Lee very well. More through Naveed who frequents their shop. But she knew of them. The fact the four of them had the dream- "oh, and Sara drempt it too." she added.

"I wish I knew what it all meant." she sighed "why in the world would 5 people have the same dream and all remember it." she didn't mean to draw the attention away from Lukes blindness... but she was literally bubbling over here. "If it was just me... I'd have thought it was some nightmare from the camps... about the miscarriage." her voice went low "I was pregnant before. In real life. In the camps. After my only sexual experience of course that would be my dumb luck." she gave a half hearted laugh. "but I didn't know. I don't even know if Rupert ever found out. Telling him now after that dream would be a bad idea..."

She sighed again "I don't know what to do with him. I don't know his motives. I don't know if he's being sincere or if this is an act" she admitted "but I have a sinking feeling we'll be seeing him around more. So we need to talk more, when we can... no more assumptions. Just outright ask each other questions. This problem isn't going away."

She was blaming herself for this? Raina was taking his problem and trying to say that she could have prevented it?

"Raina, I wouldn't have let you help." Luke said softly, as he tried to reassure her, "Fade was there. Tarin was there. I told them both to help other people. I thought I could save Calley, stop him without actually hurting him or something like that. I thought, I thought I could get through to him."

The sob in her voice hurt more than all the injuries he had taken during the epic battle against Calley. Physical injury was one thing, it could be pushed to the side and partially ignored. Seeing or hearing someone you loved hurt wasn't something that you could ever ignore. The feeling of helpless that was becoming was familiar was no less powerful as he tried to think of how to comfort Raina. What could he say? What could he do?

Suddenly Raina was taking his hands and pulling them to her face. He could feel the warm dampness of her tears as well as the muscles quivering from her own pain and anguish. Slowly Luke moved his thumb, rubbing and caressing her cheek as he continued to try and come up with some sort of comforting words but before anything came to mind Raina was talking again.

The subject had shifted back to the dream that had driven Rupert to seek out Raina once again. Apparently several people had experienced this same dream but beyond that it was forcing the two of them to open up to each other even more. "Pregnant? Miscarriage?" He had known she was in the camps but he didn't remember their ever talking about Raina being pregnant before. How could that have not come up?

"Tell me." Luke said quietly, his gaze focusing on where he thought Raina's face must be, "Talk to me about your pregnancy and miscarriage. What happened?"

Raina leaned into him "I guess if we're 'going up against Rupert' you should know everything." she admitted. "It's not that I tried to keep it from you either... I just wanted to forget." she added. She closed her eyes and thought back.

"I dated Rupert for a few months. It started out at a break neck speed. Just a cop I met out with some other mutants a few months after I moved here. I knew right away he hated mutants and I should have told him what I was... but I didn't. I was still coming to terms with it myself. Late bloomer. Most discover their powers so much earlier than I did. Anyway... I don't think you could call it love..."

she trailed off for a moment. "More like infatuation. More like, wow someone likes me for the first time in my life kinda thing. He came to some of my shows, met some of my friends... everything seemed great. And yeah.. he was the first person I slept with. Kinda regret that now." she gave a half hearted laugh. it was so ironic it really was a little funny.

"I got caught up in this whole registration business and didn't realize that I was.. uh.. well.. late. It had never been something I paid that much attention to before... you know seeing that I hadn't had sex before. " she blushed a bit at saying 'sex' out loud. These things were still so taboo for her, even if she'd been seen nude more than anyone else she knew. "And there was a raid at the mansion. Gathering everyone there was one of my first missions. Imagine my shock when Rupert knocked down the door while I was flipping mid air to shoot ice at one of his partners. he didn't even pause... he just... shot me."

She shrugged "maybe he knew what I was all along." she said after a few moments. "Maybe that was his whole plan. It wouldn't be beneath him to use me to get information on the mansion. The way he shot me.. it was like he'd been planning it... and it wasn't the last time either."

"At the camps I still didn't know I was pregnant. They slapped me with a collar..." she pulled his hand to her neck so he could feel the scar that ran around it "it shocked me anytime I spoke. I went months without speaking. I was so malnourished and under so much stress I miscarried. I didn't even know I was pregnant until... until.. well until it had died. I didn't even know how far along I was though I suspect 4 months or so. It's hard to tell the way everything blurred together."

Her eyes glazed over "Maybe Rupert knew that too. Maybe that's why he shot me. two less mutants in the world right?" it was easy to see Rupert had left a bad taste in her mouth "but then again.. I think he was part of the escape. Well.. I mean.. he let me go when I escaped. Maybe he felt too guilty at home each night. I don't know. We met up a few times at the camp but it seemed like he just hated me all those times"

Raina had no idea how tortured Rupert was over what he'd done, how he still had feelings for her, and how he had engineered her escape, got her duties switched, nothing.

"I saw him after the camps and can you believe it I think because of all the shock I still wanted to be with him. I don't know what was going through my head except he was all I ever knew. When he rejected me that's how... well.. how I met Dr. Che. And you know how the rest of that goes."

she was silent again for a few moments

"I bet your ex stories aren't nearly as crazy as that one." she grinned up at him even though she knew he couldn't see it. Being able to still smile after saying all of that helped her cope.

Luke was silent, allowing Raina to talk and ramble as long as she needed to. It was obvious that this was something she should have let out a long time ago and yet instead she had kept it bottled up, trying to appear strong to everyone around her. Rupert had been her first love, or first infatuation, and then he had broken her heart because of his prejudice.

"I can't condone what Rupert did and there's no way I would even try to come up with some sort of excuse, but I think that he really is sorry for everything that happened." Luke said quietly after Raina had handed the conversation back over to him, "And you're right, I don't have any ex stories like that but that's because I never let my heart get involved."

Sliding his hands from her face down to her shoulder, Luke gently lifted Raina back up to her feet and then guided her to sit on his lap while he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"You love easily Raina and while that can get you hurt it's also a part of who you are. It's one of the most wonderful parts. Sure, Rupert hurt you because of his own blindness, but that's not your fault. It's not your fault that the camps made you have a miscarriage or anything of the other things that happened."

There was so much that could be said but yet Luke doubted that any of it would really have much meaning for her right now. It was like when someone died, people would tell the family members how sorry they were for the loss but it didn't really help. It was still a pain that they had to carry, no matter how much people expressed their regret.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't around to help you pick up the pieces after everything you dealt with but I'm here now. If you want to talk to Rupert, great. I'm here to support you. If you want to get away from him then I'm here to whisk you away somewhere else. Whatever you need I'm here for you."

For a few moments, Luke fell silent once again as he tried to come up with some way to lighten the situation. Was there some sort of joke he could make that would make her smile? Something that would help?

"On the upside, at least I can guarantee your first date with Rupert couldn't have been as interesting as your first date with me. Especially since you were ordering me not to look at your boobs." Luke finally said with a grin, using the memory and the choice in words to hopefully illicit a positive reaction from Raina, "I think that ahs to be one of the best starting points ever."

Raina allowed herself to be picked up and nuzzled into Luke's neck. He smelled nice. He smelled familiar. He smelled like.. Luke. Like someone she loved. Like someone she loved she just realized- even when the ex came knocking. This has to be a growth marker for sure.

"Yeah." she laughed whipping the last of the tears from her eyes. "I guess your right. It's funny because it's not like I say 'boob' or anything all the time." she giggled a bit resting her head against his chest. Even when he was completely blind Luke could still make her feel safe.

"I wish you could see me." she said out of nowhere. "Just once. Like I... see you." she nuzzled a bit more.

Luke was so calm. So eager to set things right just like she was. This was a real relationship where people communicated with each other even when they were upset with eachother.

"Then again, Im glad you couldn't see my face when you strode up behind Rupert the other day. Man oh man. You can only imagine how confused I was at that!"

She felt a bit guilty. "I should have told you I was going to meet him. Even if for the fact that it would have been safer to tell you. Who knows what I was up against? But.. I should have told you. I'm sorry."

"Maybe you should change that." Luke said teasingly as Raina rested her head on his chest, "Boob could be a great addition to your normal vocabulary. It can be used in so many different ways afte rall."

For a few momenst they enjoyed the comfortable silence and just being with each other when suddenly Raina spoke something that Luke really wished was possible. "Right now I'd settle for seeing you with my sonar again." Luke replied, dipping his head to press a kiss against Raina's temple, "But I have to admit... really seeing would be something."

And once again the conversation changed, moving back to Rupert once more. It was strange but Luke had to mentally thank Rupert for his interference. Because of Rupert he and Raina had been forced to talk more and have a more open relationship. They had been forced to make a choice about how they wanted their relationship to progress.

"I should have told you about losing my sonar so let's just call it even and hope that we don't ever do anything like this again." Luke's answer as honest and sincere as he gave Raina's waist a quick squeeze. "Sometime I need to go see Tarin and thank him for the help at the battle. I'd be willing to be he was probably the one that got me to the Doc Prof or whoever healed me."

"Tarin..." said Raina "you know, he and his wife were in my dream too. They had a little girl..." she searched for the name "Alice." she said happy she'd remembered it. "It;s weird... I dont know that I've even met them, even in passing.... but everyone else seems to know them so maybe I should. What do they do? What are their powers?"

It was obvious that if they were involved in any fight that they were mutants.

ooc: sorry, a little short but I think i can get it going once I get a reply hehe

"I met Tarin and Lee downtown when they called me out to see about installing a security system in their shop." Luke replied without any hesitation, "I'm not completely sure about Lee's power but Tarin can see and apparently give bodily form to disgruntled spirits. He, uh, kind of saw our friend from Paris. Apparently since I accidently killed him, his spirit has been trailing me."

That was yet another subject that Luke had never thought to bring up to Raina. It wasn't that he was trying to keep that story hidden from her buut neither of them really wanted to think about most of what they had dealt with while in Paris. Some of the time, the dinners and the hotel room, were pleasant memories but most things were still traumatizing.

"But... uh... they're good people. I ran into Lee out on the street a different evening. When I talked they both said they'd heard of you before so at the time I was thinking maybe we could all try dinner together sometime. Unfortunately it was right around that time that things got crazy and it's just never happened."